Dating a Virgo

I met a virgo man a month ago. He started off texting me everyday. Calling pretty regularly. We've hung out several times. All of sudden, he does not text as much, take forever to return my text messages. I asked if he wanted to go this weekend. He said that he was busy and would not go into what he had to do.

Another thing, he seems like he has a low self esteem. He told me that he knows that he is ugly. I do not think he is. He is always downing himself.


Despite all of this, I will feel drawn to this guy. We've never been initimate or anything.

Please help me understand this virgo guy.

By the way I'm a Capricorn

"Another thing, he seems like he has a low self esteem. He told me that he knows that he is ugly. I do not think he is. He is always downing himself."

Unless you want to be his mom, reassuring him all the time that will definitely kill attraction and get you dumped real fast, he's not going to like you more because you accept his flaws, he will feel weak and most likely will always be seeking validation through other affairs with other women that have HIGHER standards. Knowing he has low self esteem is enough for me to run, I know that sounds like i'm a hard ass but I been down that long ass road and it's hell.

You can stick around to see what's there but don't be surprised if he's in and out, hot and cold and ambivalent

mother or lover, choose one, if you choose to reassure him he's great and handsome etc etc don't expect him to be attracted to you and stick around as a lover, if you truly want to be his lover then leave his low self esteem alone and let him man up and deal with it, if he's insecure well let him be don't wear yourself out trying to reassure him because it will only kill his attraction which it already seems to be doing given how he's reacting and responding to you.

Distance yourself, don't ask him out anymore and don't be his crutch, just politely excuse yourself when he's down or change the subject, let him find a desperate long suffering woman to play his low self esteem head games with. If you want attraction, love, sparks etc then don't mother him, and don't take his bullshit....

I would dump him and be with a more secure man but again because I have been down this road I know the best option for me was to leave but many women stick around hoping for the holy grail with these kind of men.

Thanks for the advice. I have been trying to lift him up by telling him not to call himself ugly. I will definitely stop that. I 'm definitely thinking about walking away. But I will definitely not call him, or ask him out again. Better yet, I will not respond for a while. Thanks!

you can date him but don't lift him up, just observe him, distance yourself when you feel pressured to reassure him and you will most likely bore of that i don't like myself crap and move on anyway. Men that are insecure like this usually have harems of women and/or always on the prowl to conquer more women to get the validation they need to feel good about themselves or just plain out wimpy and boring...i'm sure you can do better but if you can't then accept him as he is but please don't try and fix him, what you see is what you get

Interesting!!! Thanks for the info. I will definitely keep my distance.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is don't make your commitment to loving him or any man about stroking his broken ego, fixing his life, lifting him up with encouraging words all the time like your Ayala Vanzant, that will be your permanent job, that is not a great way to start a relationship based on attraction, love and chemistry...your looking to be a mans lover not his mother...

The ugliness your mate trying to tell you has no physical but the spiritual form, in that case however we all are ugly by misunderstanding the value and thus personification of love.

Ask him that if he has any strong spiritual belief and if yes ask him again how he sees your relationships in there and how he feel about it rather than jump in to conclusions and stirring up the already muddy waters between you two by —again?? misunderstandings.

Thanks Shak and QBONE!

Shak- No nothing hasn't happen between the text.

Hey Shaks yeah I can be a bit hard, I won't deny it, your words of wisdom are inspiring

Hi Archer, my opinion on women is this, so many women do not have a father so there is a large majority of women seeking fatherly guidance and want to feel safe, crave to heal that part of there lives through a man, it's so complex.

IMO women respond differently to father figures but men seem to have this aversion to women that mother them, they may like her actions in the BEGINNING reassuring him, cooking, cleaning, wiping his mouth but not be attracted to her physically in a lustful lover kind of way, he will grow bored and seek a more balanced relationship were he isn't feeling controlled unless he's a hardcore mamas boy she will struggle with getting the love and sex she desires from this kind of man, mamas boys tend to be wimpy IMO and easily controlled because he's always seeking maternal guidance.

Some women prefer men that are the fatherly type but her level of attraction will drop at some point, it's nice in the beginning to have guidance, to feel safe with a man but safe can kill chemistry between a man and a woman. Working for a woman standing behind her back, taking on her burden seems more like a partner not a father IMO it's nice to have a man step in and hold some of the burden but it's a mistake to allow that to go on for too long because it invites mistreatment, contempt, resentment.

I don't know many people that are attracted to a lover that acts like a parent, eventually the 2 will clash and the woman/man will seek a more balanced union.

I agree with SG .... also, alot has to do with how your self esteem is also, since Virgo emotions are reflective.

For the fact that he pulled away from you ......... it would indicate that he doesn't think it's worth going on like he did a month ago .... so, if I were you, I would go find someone else to whom you are better suited.



A Virgo doesn't pull away from The One .... at least not in my experience.