Is this normal for a Virgo

Hi all,

I haven't written for a long time, but am always reading the posts. I did have a dilemma with a Virgo friend the last time I wrote. In short...we worked together and after both finishing relationships became REALLY good friends...things were going well, but then he decided to go to Australia for a year with his friend and though there were definately feelings between us, he just completely pulled back everytime I brought it up (this went on for a year). He left on the 20th of March and after a sad goodbye (he wanted me to promise we'll see each other again...I couldn't though) I thought this would be my ideal opportunity to let him go and get him out of my system. Thing is, me and 2 friends will be travelling in New Zealand and OZ from October for 4 months..he definately wants to meet up...I'm not sure though. Now what confuses me is:
He's been sending e-mails with photos, not just to me, but 3 or 4 other friends as well (1 woman who worked with us & although married, made no secret of the fact that she'd want to get to know him much closer...he's been friends with her, although nothing's ever happened - think he enjoys the attention somehow). He's send me one written e-mail (he's not a big writer at all) and he's texted me on a weekly basis telling me what they're up to and asking how I am etc. Thing is, just before he left he e-mailed me telling me how much I've meant to him (I assume as a friend) and how much he's gonna miss me and how he really hopes I'll come and find him in OZ (why can't he come and find me!!) Anyway...eversince then, he's put "love" at the end of his texts as well as a kiss and also ends by saying he misses me. Last week he texted me late at night telling me how beautiful the night sky was right then over there and how he really wishes I was there to see it.
I havent been texting him, except for once...otherwise I've just always replied to his texts and I've also only e-mailed him once, just updating him about life back in the UK. Anyway...I just assume he's texting etc. all he's other female friends the same (not that he has many....and he has told me before he's never had the kind of friendship we have with anyone else and after I said how for me being best friends with a partner is a must, he asked whether I didn't think that a relationship would ruin the good friendship, upon which I said definately not.....now this was just before he left. He's also commented that long istance relationships never lasts..i disagreed).
He's behaviour just completely confuses me now, that's why i am reluctant to make too much of an effort to keep in contact with him. I just keep telling myself he sees me as a friend....however, i must say, I would only be able to write and text the things he does to someone I really have feelings for...maybe that's the difference between us. He has always been really closed off about feelings and, I know that, going to OZ has had a lot to do with him not wanting to start a relationship, but really.....maybe I'm just too romantic, but if something's worth it, I think one should at least try to find out, then at least you won't go around wondering if that person would've been the love of your life!
I think i'm being....but would really appreciate your comments and advice.

Kind regards
Safri

Hi Safri,

I second that! Stay in touch and see what happens, i was friends with my Virgo for around 6 months and never thought we would get together romantically-he kept holding back and then one day he decided to take it further and as difficult as it has been with his critisism of myself at times, after reading these boards i can see why he `waited` that time before taking it further and it no longer bothers me that he did that.


While he was making his mind up i was living my life as normal and you should too. Hard as that is you really need to try.


Good luck.

Leyla.

Thank you virgogotme and Leyla,

I'll be taking your advice....just wonder why it seems that everything has to be so difficilt with a virgo sometimes! To me things are so simple...if you like someone, go out, see if there's something more there....if there's not, then at least you know, or if someone doesn't feel the same way...why not say they just want to be friends rather then give you such confusing signals...

Sometimes i do think...why do i even bother, but we were such close friends, i don't think I'll ever be able to be really mean to him as I can't think he'll ever be that way to me.

Thanks again though...i follow all the posts with interest and wishes everyone the best of luck.

Safri : )

Safri my friend..

Welcome back..

Are you still living with the gost of past..??

Forget and forgive this (advertising peace of "crab" cancerbuddy)? how are you.??

I thought our last conversations would be sufficient enough to help you get of the ground.

The jerk (cancerbuddy) still think that everyone he pointing at should and suppose to be his love and true answer to his infatuations?

INFATUATIONS? is not LOVE?!

It is kind of temptations that kick you out of your ordinary self.. I've tried to tell you many times in very kind manners if you kindly remember.

You are living with the idea of your (pseudo- lover) and not your Virgo man?!


Read this as a helper to your situation and NOT as a personal attack please:

Imagine?..



Dick and Jane?. (I am try to be funny as well)


While love has been addressed by thinkers ranging from Plato to Dr. Phil, the matter of the metaphysics and epistemology of love have not been given a great deal of attention. This brief essay is presented in the hopes of rectifying this situation.

When one person, Jane, loves another, Dick, the question arises as to what it is exactly that she loves. The easy and obvious answer is that she loves Dick. But that simply raises questions about who Dick is and what it is about him that she loves.

In the ideal of romantic love, Jane would love Dick himself and not his qualities or possessions. After all, those qualities and possessions change and can also be possessed by others. Intuitively, we do not regard the ideal romantic love as something that will fade with change or something that can be transferred to another person with similar qualities.

For example, if Jane loves Dick because of his money or how he looks in a swimsuit, then she would presumably love Tom or Harry if they had the same (or more) money and looked equally good (or better) in a swimsuit. Such interchangeable love is obviously hardly romantic.

What is needed, it would seem, is something that lies beneath all the qualities and possessions. This something would be what makes the person, in this case Dick, the person he is and separates him from all others.

Fortunately, such an entity is readily available in philosophy-it is known as a bare particular. A bare particular is a rather mysterious metaphysical entity. It is bare because it does not have any qualities of its own beneath all the qualities that it supports. It is a particular because there is only one of each (and each one can only be in one location at a time). In philosophical tradition the bare particular is supposed to be what distinguishes each individual thing for all other things. Such an entity would do quite nicely for the problem at hand. In ideal love one person simply loves the bare particularity of another as opposed to qualities or possessions that can change or be duplicated by another.

Unfortunately, there is a rather serious problem with this notion of love. When we interact with the world we interact with various qualities and properties. For example, Jane can see Dick in his bathing suit and she can see his bank account balance. But it would seem to be impossible for her to somehow be aware of his bare particularity. Since it has no qualities there would seem to be nothing to experience. Given this, it simply does not seem possible for Jane to be aware of Dick's bare particularity in order to be in love with him. This would seem to take love back to being about detectable qualities.

Of course, having love rest on detectible qualities might not be so bad after all. In fact, it seems more realistic and intuitive than the idea of some sort of ideal metaphysically based concept of love. When one person talks about why she loves another, she will talk about the qualities the person possesses. Dating services also make a big deal about testing people for various qualities and using them to find compatibility and love. Many scientists talk about the emotion of love as being driven by genes in search of suitable genes to combine with-presumably this drive is aimed at particular empirical qualities. Given this evidence, it see

This happen to many of us and you are not alone with?..

A wise person Is the one that recognise those (rosy) glasses in early stages?.


Anyway? welcome back.. we sure missed you?


🙂

4 years in this goddamn board and everyone still MUST suffer from this Cancerbuddy's crap all along..

Him and his Virgo man?? LMAO

Give it up idiot?those whom take you and your hilarious experiences as a fact, are doomed to be like you..

Are you trying to find other hands to make you clap..??

Get a life old mate.. Your experiences with particular person doesn't count..

Hi Qbone,

Thank you for your warm welcome : )
I think I understand what your saying Qbone, but, ultimately, isn't that what falling in love is all about.....doesn't falling in love inherently means that you really like what you've been able to see and get to know of a person (considering the amount of time you've been able to spend with them). Of course you wouldn't KNOW them completely, to such an extent where there are no more misconceptions or illusions about who someone is or why you feel the way you do about someone.....
I don't for one minute pretend to be out of the 'in love' stage (maybe slightly less overwhelmed as you tend to be in the beginning). I think, maybe, my problem is letting go, because i'm not sure whether it is the right thing to do...am i, maybe, just being a baby throwing my toys out of the pram, cause things are not going the way or at the pace that i want it to be going. And then there's the other little problem of communication.....maybe that little problem is the biggest problem of all....if I sorted out my feelings by talking about it to him, I wouldn't be in this debacle : )
However, thank you, Q, for sharing your experience and advice....i do take it to heart...
Safri