tealeafhunter
@tealeafhunter
20 YearsLeo
Comments: 0 · Posts: 74 · Topics: 8
Leo who needs help...!
You see my friend?!!
Humans vibrates in different frequencies from one another, some are slow, some are fast, some may need time to digest the facts or some may re-consider their relationships because they value their freedom of acts and thoughts and don't want to commit to something they are not sure about the feature of it?( not because of they are doubt about their lovers? but mainly they are doubt about themselves and the way they are evolving emotionally).
As I have mentioned it before and still insisting ?star sign has nothing to do with the relationships?. the fact is the personal attractions and magnetism not the star sign..!! You guys see each other, like each other, admire each other and so on?you are the Leo She is the Virgo?so what..??
Instead of criticizing or see the bad side of your relationship.. try to understand it, bedroom adventures is just something that needed to take the sexual/aggression/depression pressures down, just to make the couples ready to face the everyday realities? nothing else..!! Your Virgo partner may become aware of this reality faster than you do, so she starts to go on with it.. and she will do it with or without you?!! Making a drama of something that you don't understand makes the matter worse not better....you've said you want to have she and win her heart and mind?.Hehe?.what next you want..?? a slave..?? Why ?? You know damn well the more you push it, the more she get distanced? don't believe me?..try it... 🙂 wish you luck.
And what kinds of a lover are you that want to make your partner hurting by making her jealous... you don't deal with the animals you know?? You sure you love her?? or.. love to have her (for your personal collections)..?? That's 2 different things?!! Please take your time and study your relationship and the future of it before you do any harms... making people jealous is a part of the game?.you've said you don't want to play a game with her.
STUDY YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER CLOSELY WITH OPEN MIND do not accept any suggestions from semi friends that stupid enough to barge in with their stupid ideas of how to handle a relationship?its you suppose to handle it with your own ideas/magnetism-attraction and charm?.
🙂
Humans vibrates in different frequencies from one another, some are slow, some are fast, some may need time to digest the facts or some may re-consider their relationships because they value their freedom of acts and thoughts and don't want to commit to something they are not sure about the feature of it?( not because of they are doubt about their lovers? but mainly they are doubt about themselves and the way they are evolving emotionally).
As I have mentioned it before and still insisting ?star sign has nothing to do with the relationships?. the fact is the personal attractions and magnetism not the star sign..!! You guys see each other, like each other, admire each other and so on?you are the Leo She is the Virgo?so what..??
Instead of criticizing or see the bad side of your relationship.. try to understand it, bedroom adventures is just something that needed to take the sexual/aggression/depression pressures down, just to make the couples ready to face the everyday realities? nothing else..!! Your Virgo partner may become aware of this reality faster than you do, so she starts to go on with it.. and she will do it with or without you?!! Making a drama of something that you don't understand makes the matter worse not better....you've said you want to have she and win her heart and mind?.Hehe?.what next you want..?? a slave..?? Why ?? You know damn well the more you push it, the more she get distanced? don't believe me?..try it... 🙂 wish you luck.
And what kinds of a lover are you that want to make your partner hurting by making her jealous... you don't deal with the animals you know?? You sure you love her?? or.. love to have her (for your personal collections)..?? That's 2 different things?!! Please take your time and study your relationship and the future of it before you do any harms... making people jealous is a part of the game?.you've said you don't want to play a game with her.
STUDY YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER CLOSELY WITH OPEN MIND do not accept any suggestions from semi friends that stupid enough to barge in with their stupid ideas of how to handle a relationship?its you suppose to handle it with your own ideas/magnetism-attraction and charm?.
🙂
Hi Tealeafhunter,
Well, Qbone may have a point about star signs and relationships but does this ever sound like my relationship with a Virgo man :^( ...
Definitely do not resort to causing jealousy or playing games. This will hurt whatever trust there is between you. This is a bad thing to do with any relationship. Relationships need to be built on trust and mutual respect to last and make everyone happy. You must find a different way. Have you spoken with her about this? Do you communicate well?
To update anyone (Qbone in particular) who remembers me posting in May about my feelings for a Virgo man, our relationship has changed somewhat. Out of the blue a couple of months ago we began getting more intimate. But it is much like Tealeafhunter has described. While I do know his family fairly well, I am never included with his friends and feel exactly the same - like I am just being kept in my little corner to be brought out when wanted. And he does not seem to want to be included in much that I do either. When I call to ask him out I often get the cold shoulder, and he will never make plans ahead of time. It's always 'maybe' - or 'call me later and I'll see'.
I realize some people have problems with commitment - but this is ridiculous. Why would someone do that? Are they waiting to see if they get a better offer, or is it a control thing (just wait around to see if I make up my mind?)?
Anyway - not to hijack Tealeafhunter's thread :^)... Can you tell me Tealeafhunter if you are able to talk to her about this and what she says?
Scorpgal5
Well, Qbone may have a point about star signs and relationships but does this ever sound like my relationship with a Virgo man :^( ...
Definitely do not resort to causing jealousy or playing games. This will hurt whatever trust there is between you. This is a bad thing to do with any relationship. Relationships need to be built on trust and mutual respect to last and make everyone happy. You must find a different way. Have you spoken with her about this? Do you communicate well?
To update anyone (Qbone in particular) who remembers me posting in May about my feelings for a Virgo man, our relationship has changed somewhat. Out of the blue a couple of months ago we began getting more intimate. But it is much like Tealeafhunter has described. While I do know his family fairly well, I am never included with his friends and feel exactly the same - like I am just being kept in my little corner to be brought out when wanted. And he does not seem to want to be included in much that I do either. When I call to ask him out I often get the cold shoulder, and he will never make plans ahead of time. It's always 'maybe' - or 'call me later and I'll see'.
I realize some people have problems with commitment - but this is ridiculous. Why would someone do that? Are they waiting to see if they get a better offer, or is it a control thing (just wait around to see if I make up my mind?)?
Anyway - not to hijack Tealeafhunter's thread :^)... Can you tell me Tealeafhunter if you are able to talk to her about this and what she says?
Scorpgal5
Hi scorp....welcome back to the board..🙂
Glad to see you again...🙂
Glad to see you again...🙂
Hi Qbone - Thanks - Good to see you too!
ScorpGal5
ScorpGal5
first of all, thanks for the input. much appreciated. i do understand its more about many things than just sun signs. im not a "horoscopian"-i just recognize that there are patterns of "types" of people. but whatever. no big deal...
she does have commitment problems that stem from the relationship that she has with her mother(who tends/has tended to be too busy much of the time-especially when my special lady friend was a young girl). from what i understand, abuse learns abuse...
we have talked about her problem with commitment and her fear of deep feelings with a mate as well as her need for time in emotional development. she is not used to being treated well...
she is definately working on it and is attending therapy regularly.
i do love her and would like to see her happy. i do not wish to own her for any collection what so ever.
perhaps the word "win" was inappropriate. its a cultural coloqialism that just means that one would like to become meaningful in another's life.
she has been hurt badly in the past and has many defences and evasive manuvers. but i think the best way to diffuse them is to develop trust by remaining calm and consistent and non-confrontational. if i ask her "why are you this way?" she will take it defensively and push me away. i think this is the best approach at this point.
what do you think?
she does have commitment problems that stem from the relationship that she has with her mother(who tends/has tended to be too busy much of the time-especially when my special lady friend was a young girl). from what i understand, abuse learns abuse...
we have talked about her problem with commitment and her fear of deep feelings with a mate as well as her need for time in emotional development. she is not used to being treated well...
she is definately working on it and is attending therapy regularly.
i do love her and would like to see her happy. i do not wish to own her for any collection what so ever.
perhaps the word "win" was inappropriate. its a cultural coloqialism that just means that one would like to become meaningful in another's life.
she has been hurt badly in the past and has many defences and evasive manuvers. but i think the best way to diffuse them is to develop trust by remaining calm and consistent and non-confrontational. if i ask her "why are you this way?" she will take it defensively and push me away. i think this is the best approach at this point.
what do you think?
oh and for your concern, qbone, i would never ever go the route of manipulation to gain more attraction from her. its just a tactic i hear used by many of my friends and collegues.
ive learned not to push this girl. i am just want to understand more.
thanks to you both.
ive learned not to push this girl. i am just want to understand more.
thanks to you both.
Hi Tealeafhunter,
It sounds like you already know what to do... But loving someone that is emotionally unavailable is very hard. You need to think of yourself as well and decide how much you want to put into a relationship that you may never get what you want from.
I am in such a similar position, and I let myself fall too hard. Now it is difficult to extract myself emotionally. Sometimes I want to keep trying and hoping that I will get what I want from the relationship, but often I think I am kidding myself.
Good luck to you.
Scorpgal5
It sounds like you already know what to do... But loving someone that is emotionally unavailable is very hard. You need to think of yourself as well and decide how much you want to put into a relationship that you may never get what you want from.
I am in such a similar position, and I let myself fall too hard. Now it is difficult to extract myself emotionally. Sometimes I want to keep trying and hoping that I will get what I want from the relationship, but often I think I am kidding myself.
Good luck to you.
Scorpgal5
loving the unavailable person is what alot of people like to do. it gives them a challenge. it makes them feel like they're working for something, when there is nothing really there. sorry, but that's the truth. we've all done it. then there are the people who know that truth and work it like nothing else. meaning they will yank your chain and just feed you enough emotion and "love" to keep you hanging on. finding real love is a trick, but you will know it when you find it, and it doesn't happen overnight. love takes time, years. best of luck.
Have to agree with pato on this one pal t.hunter.
If you want to be perpetually and permantantly in a state of utter confusion and bewilderment and \i think she doens't understand me mode...go with Ms. virgo.....Oh yeah, she will be be explosive in bed and her body langauge will be volcanic and oh so sweeet in the bed but once her legs get out of that bed and touch reality land....what's left....nothing, if you are honest (and me are really honest)....with virgos..it'ws all about virgos being in love with themselves...no-one else!!...Ms. VIrgo loves and always will only love herself....sorry for the cyncicism but me has been with Mr. V. for over two years and that's te final lesson I've learnt...people have told me over and over and over again their virgo experinces...did I listen...no, no, no...I never listen to anyone else..but boy am I listening to my heart today after what Mr. V. said to me last nite....what a differnce a day makes...but then again..not maybe deep down I knew all along what he was like...but I was in denial....deep virgo lust denial..the eys are opened now.....
WALK AWAY.............if you think aquarians are detached.....then welcome to fcukin. virgo land...the land of cruelty and bullsihit!!!
ax
If you want to be perpetually and permantantly in a state of utter confusion and bewilderment and \i think she doens't understand me mode...go with Ms. virgo.....Oh yeah, she will be be explosive in bed and her body langauge will be volcanic and oh so sweeet in the bed but once her legs get out of that bed and touch reality land....what's left....nothing, if you are honest (and me are really honest)....with virgos..it'ws all about virgos being in love with themselves...no-one else!!...Ms. VIrgo loves and always will only love herself....sorry for the cyncicism but me has been with Mr. V. for over two years and that's te final lesson I've learnt...people have told me over and over and over again their virgo experinces...did I listen...no, no, no...I never listen to anyone else..but boy am I listening to my heart today after what Mr. V. said to me last nite....what a differnce a day makes...but then again..not maybe deep down I knew all along what he was like...but I was in denial....deep virgo lust denial..the eys are opened now.....
WALK AWAY.............if you think aquarians are detached.....then welcome to fcukin. virgo land...the land of cruelty and bullsihit!!!
ax
Hi tealeaf
Glad that you are aware and awake..🙂
And Ahhh.. Those damn tactics....never follow those advices. Those are for losers with a manhood problems and superiority complexes?as I understand you want to build a life with the woman you love, those "good for nothing advices" are for the people with one way ticket to no mans land. They don't see females as a human beings but rather think of females as trophy to be won.
Tell you a secret?.follow your own intuitions and gut feelings. Try to find your position in her life and understand it well.. Sorry "why are you this way..??" or questions like this, is just making her "du'h"?. This is the way she choose to be, if you cant accept it, you get a cold shoulder or to be ignored. Instead.. prove it to her ( with your actions not words) that to be with you make the all differences that she couldn't achieved (alone) without you?.be vary to your approach, be creative and stable.
These are the simple and basic elements that make the relationship strong and best of all gain the trust between you and your lady. She is emotionally hurt and need nurturing, Sympathizing or pity ness are makes things worse?!!
Good luck with your task
🙂
Glad that you are aware and awake..🙂
And Ahhh.. Those damn tactics....never follow those advices. Those are for losers with a manhood problems and superiority complexes?as I understand you want to build a life with the woman you love, those "good for nothing advices" are for the people with one way ticket to no mans land. They don't see females as a human beings but rather think of females as trophy to be won.
Tell you a secret?.follow your own intuitions and gut feelings. Try to find your position in her life and understand it well.. Sorry "why are you this way..??" or questions like this, is just making her "du'h"?. This is the way she choose to be, if you cant accept it, you get a cold shoulder or to be ignored. Instead.. prove it to her ( with your actions not words) that to be with you make the all differences that she couldn't achieved (alone) without you?.be vary to your approach, be creative and stable.
These are the simple and basic elements that make the relationship strong and best of all gain the trust between you and your lady. She is emotionally hurt and need nurturing, Sympathizing or pity ness are makes things worse?!!
Good luck with your task
🙂
woohoo... 😉
Hello lady Alana.
🙂
Hello lady Alana.
🙂
Hi Alana,
Ouch! But I fear you are right. I have known the virgo man I am involved with for a few years now, and often wondered why drama and upset seemed to follow him everywhere (not from me, but from his family). I am starting to suspect it is because it is the only way that anyone can get his attention :^( ...
It is quite the dichotomy (sp?). He is sometimes so compassionate, but so detached and inconsiderate at others. In a way, I envy your anger - that would be better than always feeling hurt and manipulated.
ScorpGal5
Ouch! But I fear you are right. I have known the virgo man I am involved with for a few years now, and often wondered why drama and upset seemed to follow him everywhere (not from me, but from his family). I am starting to suspect it is because it is the only way that anyone can get his attention :^( ...
It is quite the dichotomy (sp?). He is sometimes so compassionate, but so detached and inconsiderate at others. In a way, I envy your anger - that would be better than always feeling hurt and manipulated.
ScorpGal5
Qbone,
Some of your advise is very good, but while Tealeafhunter's lady may indeed need compassion and nurturing - he may find that she will always need this but never return it!
I have always been there for my friend, but he takes my friendship only when he needs/wants it and other times rudely rejects me (not answering calls, leaving me hanging when I ask him out etc). I fear that Tealeafhunter may find himself in this position also.
ScorpGal5
Some of your advise is very good, but while Tealeafhunter's lady may indeed need compassion and nurturing - he may find that she will always need this but never return it!
I have always been there for my friend, but he takes my friendship only when he needs/wants it and other times rudely rejects me (not answering calls, leaving me hanging when I ask him out etc). I fear that Tealeafhunter may find himself in this position also.
ScorpGal5
Hi scorp
Sorry to hear that your love life turn out to be like this...but my question is?relationship/partnership what ever the name is, is about to give and receive?.if you people cant get enough to make you happy then why are you continue with it..?? what are you looking for in this relationship..?? may I ask—
The fact is, everyone's behaviour can be translated as cruel, heartless, or whatever, when they don't meet the expectations isn't it..?? if it is true? then I know the whole world of those creatures.
Perhaps your expectations or demand is to high compare to your partners..!! Ever study your partner for what he or she is good at for your relations..??
Anyways, you guys know better for what you are dealing with ..!!What am I suggesting here is a different visions and trying to solve the problem by encouraging people to start studying their relation and get their own experiences before they make a decisions, not to make a bad example of the past experiences about a certain individuals or in this case VIRGO'S.
Say as an example: I have problem with females? because they don't meet my expectation in general.. dose it mean all females are crap..?? Or do I have to go to special courses about how to handle a female that is crapy anyway..?? or better?. Ban all females form certain nationality and race because they don't understand me at all..?? let alone their star signs..?
Come on people?Individually experiences bad or good doesn't count for everyone.
-My first relation was with Aries was broke after 2 years because she was frigid?. Conclusion >>> all Aries are frigid.
-My second was with Taurus broke after 2,5 years she was immature and irresponsible thanks to her credit abuse we lost our house with considerable debt??conclusion? all Taurus are irresponsible idiots.
-My third was with Scorpio .. broke after 2 years?.I hate anger and dominations specially toward kids?conclusion>>> all scorpions are angry, tempered, unstable beasts avoid at all cost (sorry scorpGal5).
Am I right or wrong..??
Shall I continue..?? I have 3 more on my list?.what is important is, every person learn to mirror their family life when they are kids and also learn how to react with their environments + their own personality + their developing years and experiences (influenced by their local community and friends), it is a very simple formula and can be obtained in couple of weeks by the right communication methods, then its up to you to decide what's next and ask a question from yourself that CAN YOU HANDLE IT or NOT..!!
I mean don't jump into conclusions because YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT..!!
🙂
Sorry to hear that your love life turn out to be like this...but my question is?relationship/partnership what ever the name is, is about to give and receive?.if you people cant get enough to make you happy then why are you continue with it..?? what are you looking for in this relationship..?? may I ask—
The fact is, everyone's behaviour can be translated as cruel, heartless, or whatever, when they don't meet the expectations isn't it..?? if it is true? then I know the whole world of those creatures.
Perhaps your expectations or demand is to high compare to your partners..!! Ever study your partner for what he or she is good at for your relations..??
Anyways, you guys know better for what you are dealing with ..!!What am I suggesting here is a different visions and trying to solve the problem by encouraging people to start studying their relation and get their own experiences before they make a decisions, not to make a bad example of the past experiences about a certain individuals or in this case VIRGO'S.
Say as an example: I have problem with females? because they don't meet my expectation in general.. dose it mean all females are crap..?? Or do I have to go to special courses about how to handle a female that is crapy anyway..?? or better?. Ban all females form certain nationality and race because they don't understand me at all..?? let alone their star signs..?
Come on people?Individually experiences bad or good doesn't count for everyone.
-My first relation was with Aries was broke after 2 years because she was frigid?. Conclusion >>> all Aries are frigid.
-My second was with Taurus broke after 2,5 years she was immature and irresponsible thanks to her credit abuse we lost our house with considerable debt??conclusion? all Taurus are irresponsible idiots.
-My third was with Scorpio .. broke after 2 years?.I hate anger and dominations specially toward kids?conclusion>>> all scorpions are angry, tempered, unstable beasts avoid at all cost (sorry scorpGal5).
Am I right or wrong..??
Shall I continue..?? I have 3 more on my list?.what is important is, every person learn to mirror their family life when they are kids and also learn how to react with their environments + their own personality + their developing years and experiences (influenced by their local community and friends), it is a very simple formula and can be obtained in couple of weeks by the right communication methods, then its up to you to decide what's next and ask a question from yourself that CAN YOU HANDLE IT or NOT..!!
I mean don't jump into conclusions because YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT..!!
🙂
Hi Qbone,
I don't believe I was making any generalizations based on star signs, it may be a coincidence that many of the traits of the virgo girlfriend described by Tealeafhunter are also displayed by my virgo friend. However, the characteristics remain the same - and I simply asked Tealeafhunter if he was prepared to accept that she may never change. My apologies if I sound negative - I'm a bit disillusioned at the moment.
Also, I did not describe my friend as cruel or heartless (that was Alana) - only that he seems rude sometimes and makes me feel as though I am being taken advantage of.
Why do I stay? Well, if you remember from my previous posts - I also have a professional association to consider. And like Tealeafhunter, I do care very deeply and hope that things will progress.
Of course our expectations are different from that of our partners. I believe this is the way it is for everyone. The difference is - in a good relationship the two people discuss their expectations and reach a compromise (or at least agree to disagree).
Can I handle the way it is? Hmm - I'm thinking maybe not. But I'm sure there are many things that I am unaware of in my friend that may make me feel differently. I may never know :^( ...
Scorpgal5
I don't believe I was making any generalizations based on star signs, it may be a coincidence that many of the traits of the virgo girlfriend described by Tealeafhunter are also displayed by my virgo friend. However, the characteristics remain the same - and I simply asked Tealeafhunter if he was prepared to accept that she may never change. My apologies if I sound negative - I'm a bit disillusioned at the moment.
Also, I did not describe my friend as cruel or heartless (that was Alana) - only that he seems rude sometimes and makes me feel as though I am being taken advantage of.
Why do I stay? Well, if you remember from my previous posts - I also have a professional association to consider. And like Tealeafhunter, I do care very deeply and hope that things will progress.
Of course our expectations are different from that of our partners. I believe this is the way it is for everyone. The difference is - in a good relationship the two people discuss their expectations and reach a compromise (or at least agree to disagree).
Can I handle the way it is? Hmm - I'm thinking maybe not. But I'm sure there are many things that I am unaware of in my friend that may make me feel differently. I may never know :^( ...
Scorpgal5
Ohhh? wait a minute?.!!
First of all? I apologize ScorpGal5?what happened here is a simple (word and clipboard)+(copy and paste) failure ?and I am sorry my previous post should read like this:
Hi scorp
Sorry to hear that your love life turn out to be like this?but my question is?how long will you accept this humiliation..?? I truly hope that someday soon it change to be better ..!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------
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Then? the second part in the separate post should be like this:
relationship/partnership what ever the name is, is about to give and receive?.if you people cant get enough to make you happy then why are you continue with it..?? what are you looking for in this relationship..?? may I ask—
And so on?.
-----------------------------------------------------
I am really sorry if I caused the confusion, it wasn't intentionally and I hope for forgiveness..!!
🙂
First of all? I apologize ScorpGal5?what happened here is a simple (word and clipboard)+(copy and paste) failure ?and I am sorry my previous post should read like this:
Hi scorp
Sorry to hear that your love life turn out to be like this?but my question is?how long will you accept this humiliation..?? I truly hope that someday soon it change to be better ..!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------
Then? the second part in the separate post should be like this:
relationship/partnership what ever the name is, is about to give and receive?.if you people cant get enough to make you happy then why are you continue with it..?? what are you looking for in this relationship..?? may I ask—
And so on?.
-----------------------------------------------------
I am really sorry if I caused the confusion, it wasn't intentionally and I hope for forgiveness..!!
🙂
Hi Qbone,
No problem - I'm just a cranky scorp this week ;^) !
Tealeafhunter - Let us know how things go and what you decide. I know there are different degrees of scepticism here regarding the validity of horoscopes etc, but keep in mind that there is a Mercury retrograde cycle right now and that it may be wise to postpone any firm decisions for a couple more weeks.
I had never been one to put too much belief in anything, but I must admit that if I look back on the past couple of years that the hardest times have been during these retro cycles. Boy - add a drop of PMS during these times and I'm likely to fly right off the handle and make less rational (meaning completely emotional) decisions. So I've decided - just to be on the safe side - that if I want to make any life changing decisions I'll wait a bit before making any annoucements that I can't take back later :^) ...
Scorpgal5
No problem - I'm just a cranky scorp this week ;^) !
Tealeafhunter - Let us know how things go and what you decide. I know there are different degrees of scepticism here regarding the validity of horoscopes etc, but keep in mind that there is a Mercury retrograde cycle right now and that it may be wise to postpone any firm decisions for a couple more weeks.
I had never been one to put too much belief in anything, but I must admit that if I look back on the past couple of years that the hardest times have been during these retro cycles. Boy - add a drop of PMS during these times and I'm likely to fly right off the handle and make less rational (meaning completely emotional) decisions. So I've decided - just to be on the safe side - that if I want to make any life changing decisions I'll wait a bit before making any annoucements that I can't take back later :^) ...
Scorpgal5
wow. i didnt expect to get such a response. thanks all.
i suppose that if i expect nothing from my lady then things would be different. i will have to think this one out more...
qbone, i dont really know what my position is in her life. i guess thats what i am trying to find out...
i also dont understand what you meant about having sympathy for her and how it will make things worse.
the role of drama was mentioned. she always has something dramatic happening-but she knows it and recognizes that she "harvests" this drama. i guess we must see what we need to work on before we work on it right?
and speaking of which, there lies the exboyfriend (who happens to be an aquarius) who is extremely manipulative and crappy to her and has led her on a string for the past seven years (off and on).
we all have experienced this phenomenon at least once i think.
the worst part is that we could be doing so well for like two weeks (phone calls back and forth, making plans together, quiet time, sleep overs, creative endeavors, just all over reciprocity, etc.) and prior these weeks they will fight and she has told him to take a hike-which he does. but then out of the blue he will call her to "see how she's doing" and my lady(i will call her "c" for short) will immediately back off from me, become cold, confused, and sad. making me just confused and wishing he would just go away.
c then starts talking to him again for a week or two and her life gets turned upside down. then after a little while she cant take the pain and humiliation anymore and puts up a barrier-thus trying to reverse the polarity of who is chasing who. then the cycle starts all over again. sad isnt it? all three of us are total morons.
Question:
**why is it a pattern that a lot of women dig men who are selfish, rude and down right abusive, and not dig men who are generous, kind and morally sound? it happens more than often so i wonder what the common attribute or factor in the female psyche is...
oh, and thanks again for the words.
qbone, you are very encouraging.
TLH
i suppose that if i expect nothing from my lady then things would be different. i will have to think this one out more...
qbone, i dont really know what my position is in her life. i guess thats what i am trying to find out...
i also dont understand what you meant about having sympathy for her and how it will make things worse.
the role of drama was mentioned. she always has something dramatic happening-but she knows it and recognizes that she "harvests" this drama. i guess we must see what we need to work on before we work on it right?
and speaking of which, there lies the exboyfriend (who happens to be an aquarius) who is extremely manipulative and crappy to her and has led her on a string for the past seven years (off and on).
we all have experienced this phenomenon at least once i think.
the worst part is that we could be doing so well for like two weeks (phone calls back and forth, making plans together, quiet time, sleep overs, creative endeavors, just all over reciprocity, etc.) and prior these weeks they will fight and she has told him to take a hike-which he does. but then out of the blue he will call her to "see how she's doing" and my lady(i will call her "c" for short) will immediately back off from me, become cold, confused, and sad. making me just confused and wishing he would just go away.
c then starts talking to him again for a week or two and her life gets turned upside down. then after a little while she cant take the pain and humiliation anymore and puts up a barrier-thus trying to reverse the polarity of who is chasing who. then the cycle starts all over again. sad isnt it? all three of us are total morons.
Question:
**why is it a pattern that a lot of women dig men who are selfish, rude and down right abusive, and not dig men who are generous, kind and morally sound? it happens more than often so i wonder what the common attribute or factor in the female psyche is...
oh, and thanks again for the words.
qbone, you are very encouraging.
TLH
Hi tealeaf..
Right to the point.. to find true position in someone's life is a tricky part and need's time..! you can be anything from (wish to have a dad like this) up to a lover? hehe. But hang on there, you'll be surprised when you get there.
When I mentioned Sympathy, I meant you know something about her past (obviously not so good past) and you as a good human being start to treat her in a special way than you would normally do and this is bad..!! For you especially..!! because this feeling make you soft and vulnerable and also very forgiving, forgiveness is good but at the some point...! more than that is weakness and make you wussie, if anything unexpectedly wrong happen, your life become miserable. On the other hand your lady also can translate you signals wrong and turn those to like you pity her.. See..!! There is a lot here to handle? try to treat her as you would treat your male friends in general, it's a solid step toward the success.
Your lady had a 7 years of chaos with the ex guy that dominated her and over shadowed her personality so badly that she wont dare to come out of her shell so easily, that's why she need understanding not sympathy.. to sympathize with her will brings back the old ghost story to reminding her misery?and push her more in to the protective shell that she built it with pain all these years, so please try to understand her first? its not easy to get rid of ghosts, (who you gonna call— ?.ghost busters)..You just need to investing more time to help her and encouraging her to blooming again, but then?.the important person here is you not her, you need to know exactly where you are, what you want, where you go and what you have to pay for this problem...all the time? Of course if you think is worth it; then go ahead but, what if the worse happen?? ScorpGal5 and Pato got a points here..!! are you ready for the worse..??
Wish you luck man..
There are a lot of debates around why females like jerks and reject nice guys.. Hehe? Who do you call nice and who do you name jerk..?? In my opinion; females love's males with the guts (some may call it balls.. not a macho man thou)?.!! and absolutely hate both nice and jerk guys..!! In their eyes and minds there are a lot of differences between a MAN and THE MAN..!! We are not talking about this here now, but to get to the point.. It is a lot easier to handle a spaceship trapped in black hole than to handle a humans.. Both male and females alike. The good thing is we make good adventures that worth the try.
🙂
Right to the point.. to find true position in someone's life is a tricky part and need's time..! you can be anything from (wish to have a dad like this) up to a lover? hehe. But hang on there, you'll be surprised when you get there.
When I mentioned Sympathy, I meant you know something about her past (obviously not so good past) and you as a good human being start to treat her in a special way than you would normally do and this is bad..!! For you especially..!! because this feeling make you soft and vulnerable and also very forgiving, forgiveness is good but at the some point...! more than that is weakness and make you wussie, if anything unexpectedly wrong happen, your life become miserable. On the other hand your lady also can translate you signals wrong and turn those to like you pity her.. See..!! There is a lot here to handle? try to treat her as you would treat your male friends in general, it's a solid step toward the success.
Your lady had a 7 years of chaos with the ex guy that dominated her and over shadowed her personality so badly that she wont dare to come out of her shell so easily, that's why she need understanding not sympathy.. to sympathize with her will brings back the old ghost story to reminding her misery?and push her more in to the protective shell that she built it with pain all these years, so please try to understand her first? its not easy to get rid of ghosts, (who you gonna call— ?.ghost busters)..You just need to investing more time to help her and encouraging her to blooming again, but then?.the important person here is you not her, you need to know exactly where you are, what you want, where you go and what you have to pay for this problem...all the time? Of course if you think is worth it; then go ahead but, what if the worse happen?? ScorpGal5 and Pato got a points here..!! are you ready for the worse..??
Wish you luck man..
There are a lot of debates around why females like jerks and reject nice guys.. Hehe? Who do you call nice and who do you name jerk..?? In my opinion; females love's males with the guts (some may call it balls.. not a macho man thou)?.!! and absolutely hate both nice and jerk guys..!! In their eyes and minds there are a lot of differences between a MAN and THE MAN..!! We are not talking about this here now, but to get to the point.. It is a lot easier to handle a spaceship trapped in black hole than to handle a humans.. Both male and females alike. The good thing is we make good adventures that worth the try.
🙂
Hi there hunter of tea leaves....😉 (I like your screen name, very cute!)
I just read your post and oh my...can I ever identify with your "C" friend. I have been in the same situation and right now I feel like I am stuck in the bottom of a dark, damp well - I see the light above me and I keep climbing a little at a time only to find myself slipping back down. I rest, I gather my thoughts, my courage and I use my strength to once again reach for that promising light of freedom. Tea-leaves, I KNOW the pain, the anguish, the turmoil that she is experiencing and it can be HELL. I got myself into this and I MUST get myself out. The "Q" is so correct in stating that this must be about you! Take care of yourself and be good to yourself. I too am so very blessed to have some wonderful kind men in my life who really, really care for me but I am not attracted to them...infact, I am not interested in having a relationship at all at this point in my life except for the one I need to have with myself.
I need to scoot for now...I feel like handling a space-ship! I'm into easy these days....
I wish you the best tealeaves and, Q you just amaze me with your knowledge...thank you.
I just read your post and oh my...can I ever identify with your "C" friend. I have been in the same situation and right now I feel like I am stuck in the bottom of a dark, damp well - I see the light above me and I keep climbing a little at a time only to find myself slipping back down. I rest, I gather my thoughts, my courage and I use my strength to once again reach for that promising light of freedom. Tea-leaves, I KNOW the pain, the anguish, the turmoil that she is experiencing and it can be HELL. I got myself into this and I MUST get myself out. The "Q" is so correct in stating that this must be about you! Take care of yourself and be good to yourself. I too am so very blessed to have some wonderful kind men in my life who really, really care for me but I am not attracted to them...infact, I am not interested in having a relationship at all at this point in my life except for the one I need to have with myself.
I need to scoot for now...I feel like handling a space-ship! I'm into easy these days....
I wish you the best tealeaves and, Q you just amaze me with your knowledge...thank you.
Oh my GOD... its freebird...🙂
Wow? what happened to you lady..?? since the last posts I've always wondered what happened to you?!! I am so sorry to see that you experiencing wrong things again?😢 it's like?what you American say's "curiosity kill the cat" ..Hell?.. Is there anything I can do for your current situation..?? talk to me lady...!! Sometimes talking to a silly man like me can be encouraging you know..!!
I wish you a better time lady?take care of yourself...
🙂
Wow? what happened to you lady..?? since the last posts I've always wondered what happened to you?!! I am so sorry to see that you experiencing wrong things again?😢 it's like?what you American say's "curiosity kill the cat" ..Hell?.. Is there anything I can do for your current situation..?? talk to me lady...!! Sometimes talking to a silly man like me can be encouraging you know..!!
I wish you a better time lady?take care of yourself...
🙂
Hi my Q pal! 🙂 What happened to me? I had tried to end a "no - go - no where place" relationship. And for some reason, I kept finding myself back in and then getting out again. My mistake was, I would answer the phone, he needed to talk, ya know all kinds of tricks he would use to get back into my life and I fell for them instead of being strong and holding my ground. Perhaps it was about control for him always wanting to see if he could get back in and once he did he then would pull one of his "tricks" to try and upset me (which no longer worked) Forinstance, as he was leaving my home he would say that he would call me later that night and come over the following day...no phone call from him at all for maybe a week or so. That's it I said! No more!!! When I would see him I would act like no big deal whether I spoke to him or not and truthfully, it wasn't...I don't need friends like that in my life. I saw the light - FINALLY!!!!! The bricks that were thrown at my head did not work, I think I must have quite a hard head. Someone then threw a twig at me little head and knocked some sense into the crevices of my brain where the smartness is located. Curiosity did not kill this cat infact, it made her much stronger and wiser. I so appreciate you wanting to help me and you have my very kind and thoughtful friend 🙂 I so adore silly men as they bring so much joy where ever they go! My days are so much better...thank you. Freedom never felt so good.
I will continue to take the best care of myself to the best of my ability. You take care too and jot me a note when you can...
Thank you,
Freebird
I will continue to take the best care of myself to the best of my ability. You take care too and jot me a note when you can...
Thank you,
Freebird
Q-
is this a good time to talk about this stuff?: (you said)
There are a lot of debates around why females like jerks and reject nice guys.. Hehe? Who do you call nice and who do you name jerk..?? In my opinion; females love's males with the guts (some may call it balls.. not a macho man thou)?.!! and absolutely hate both nice and jerk guys..!! In their eyes and minds there are a lot of differences between a MAN and THE MAN..!! We are not talking about this here now, but to get to the point..
is this a good time to talk about this stuff?: (you said)
There are a lot of debates around why females like jerks and reject nice guys.. Hehe? Who do you call nice and who do you name jerk..?? In my opinion; females love's males with the guts (some may call it balls.. not a macho man thou)?.!! and absolutely hate both nice and jerk guys..!! In their eyes and minds there are a lot of differences between a MAN and THE MAN..!! We are not talking about this here now, but to get to the point..
Hi Tealeaf..
Ohh no?.
This ancient topic is very private, I mean?..VERY.. and cannot be discussed in this board, try to study more about it privately, but reminding you that there is no universal keys for this, humans are different and generalizing human's behaviour are wrong.
Of course there are some basic elements that cover perhaps 10% of area but that's all about it and nothing more, each individual behaves differently that comes from experiences.
Please stop thinking like 50 years ago that a female is a trophy to be won, or an individual that needed to be saved (damn Disney and fairy tales and Barbie? along with the religion crap that depress females in 1000's of years) please?. it's absolutely nothing in there? nothing but another human soul that gather experiences like you do. You know males..?? Then you know females? simple as that.
Here is an excellent site to study about females, its not 100% complete and accurate, but it'll gives you an idea and helps you to know more (not better) about this human type we male calls it female.
Good luck with your study
http://pygmalionproject.tripod.com/home.html<BR>
🙂
Ohh no?.
This ancient topic is very private, I mean?..VERY.. and cannot be discussed in this board, try to study more about it privately, but reminding you that there is no universal keys for this, humans are different and generalizing human's behaviour are wrong.
Of course there are some basic elements that cover perhaps 10% of area but that's all about it and nothing more, each individual behaves differently that comes from experiences.
Please stop thinking like 50 years ago that a female is a trophy to be won, or an individual that needed to be saved (damn Disney and fairy tales and Barbie? along with the religion crap that depress females in 1000's of years) please?. it's absolutely nothing in there? nothing but another human soul that gather experiences like you do. You know males..?? Then you know females? simple as that.
Here is an excellent site to study about females, its not 100% complete and accurate, but it'll gives you an idea and helps you to know more (not better) about this human type we male calls it female.
Good luck with your study
http://pygmalionproject.tripod.com/home.html<BR>
🙂
cool. thanks
Hi Tealeafhunter,
Here's my opinion. It's not that woman don't like nice guys. What woman don't like is men that are not sure of themselves. Unfortunately, it often the 'jerks' that come across with lots of self-confidence and we don't find out until too late that the reason they appear self-confident is because they are self-absorbed jerks 🙂 !!
Can you respect yourself and your own choices, yet still be considerate to your lover? This is not as easy as it sounds. The best way to appear this way is to communicate what you are thinking. Set your boundaries with love - not insecurity and anger. What woman want is a man that they can RESPECT! Gee - sounds like something out of a parenting book 😉 ...
ScorpGal5
Here's my opinion. It's not that woman don't like nice guys. What woman don't like is men that are not sure of themselves. Unfortunately, it often the 'jerks' that come across with lots of self-confidence and we don't find out until too late that the reason they appear self-confident is because they are self-absorbed jerks 🙂 !!
Can you respect yourself and your own choices, yet still be considerate to your lover? This is not as easy as it sounds. The best way to appear this way is to communicate what you are thinking. Set your boundaries with love - not insecurity and anger. What woman want is a man that they can RESPECT! Gee - sounds like something out of a parenting book 😉 ...
ScorpGal5
well a strange thing happened...
C went on a blind date tonight set up by her best friend's uncle.
I expressed my dissatisfaction and sadness/disapointment with her. we did not get into a fight though. i think thats what she was expecting. i didnt feel like fighting. even though i felt like a slap in the face.
i think we were getting too close emotionally for her comfort levels and this "social outing" (what she referred it as) was just an expression of her need for freedom. it seems from what i have observed, that any sort of deep emotions past a certain point causes a sort of clenching/rebelling attitude.
earlier when i called her to express my feelings (not in a violent manner mind you) she immediately became defensive and angry.
so strange... there is so much i do not understand.
any comments?
C went on a blind date tonight set up by her best friend's uncle.
I expressed my dissatisfaction and sadness/disapointment with her. we did not get into a fight though. i think thats what she was expecting. i didnt feel like fighting. even though i felt like a slap in the face.
i think we were getting too close emotionally for her comfort levels and this "social outing" (what she referred it as) was just an expression of her need for freedom. it seems from what i have observed, that any sort of deep emotions past a certain point causes a sort of clenching/rebelling attitude.
earlier when i called her to express my feelings (not in a violent manner mind you) she immediately became defensive and angry.
so strange... there is so much i do not understand.
any comments?
Hi Tealeafhunter,
Well, I see two possibilities (I'm sure there are more but these seem most likely). Presumably she told you about it - so that's something in itself.
Now - why? Well, she could be trying to make you jealous. You did mention earlier that it was her that hinted that she wanted you to buy her things etc. Maybe she is the type that is always testing - wanting to know how far you will go - or how you feel?
OR - maybe she is just trying to tell you that she doesn't want to be romantically involved with you by pointing out that she is seeing other people.
Not everyone is the same - but if I was sleeping with someone (as you indicated she was with you) then I sure wouldn't be going out with someone else.
What do you think yourself? How do you really feel about the way this lady is treating you?
ScorpGal5
Well, I see two possibilities (I'm sure there are more but these seem most likely). Presumably she told you about it - so that's something in itself.
Now - why? Well, she could be trying to make you jealous. You did mention earlier that it was her that hinted that she wanted you to buy her things etc. Maybe she is the type that is always testing - wanting to know how far you will go - or how you feel?
OR - maybe she is just trying to tell you that she doesn't want to be romantically involved with you by pointing out that she is seeing other people.
Not everyone is the same - but if I was sleeping with someone (as you indicated she was with you) then I sure wouldn't be going out with someone else.
What do you think yourself? How do you really feel about the way this lady is treating you?
ScorpGal5
Hi Again,
Gee - I hope that didn't sound too harsh (that's the blunt Scorp in me)! Maybe I'm kinda old-fashioned too.
But the point still is - she makes you feel bad - you said it yourself. You have also written about patterns with her old lover too. Does this fit in with that last bad relationship? Did she ever talk about making him jealous?
ScorpGal5
Gee - I hope that didn't sound too harsh (that's the blunt Scorp in me)! Maybe I'm kinda old-fashioned too.
But the point still is - she makes you feel bad - you said it yourself. You have also written about patterns with her old lover too. Does this fit in with that last bad relationship? Did she ever talk about making him jealous?
ScorpGal5
SG5-
I think she does test alot cause she has an abusive past. now you could ask me, "do you want to be with someone like that?" but I ask then do we all just pass off anyone with problems and leave them to date eachother? I dont think so.
After her date we talked about it. I explained that I was hurt and felt that her action demeaned what we heve been developing. This pain I believe is ego pain. Pain from possession. When she heard this she got a little defensive- as though I was attacking her, trying to make her feel guilty. This was most certainly not the case.
Guilt may be why she told me. Or jealousy seeding. Or an honesty thing-if did the same thing, I would tell her.
She explained to me that her last relationship left her in such a state of identity loss that she is reluctant to "jump in my boat and must learn to swim on her own"- in the case that she goes "overboard" and must prevent herself from drowning.
Im sure there are many factors at work here: learning to trust her own judgement, being weary of getting deeply involved too fast, learning to trust me, having difficulties saying "no" or "yes", trying not to think Im gonna turn out like her ex, etc. All stuff stemming from childhood trauma. Which means that sometimes what gets projected is really C saying "Im in pain, Im angry".
Let me say though Im not all that hurt anymore. She actually became closer after her date-maybe it was boring. Maybe my idealized mind thinks her date made her realize how great I am.
Maybe she is having problems coming to terms. I am the only person in her life at this point that: holds her hand, mutual kissing whenever wanted, consistent sex, consistent dinners, consistent discussions about us, plans and ideas for the immediate future, basically the stuff of an early relationship.
I dont really know. I am staying open and I am learning whatever I possibly can. This girl is certainly worth it.
TLH
I think she does test alot cause she has an abusive past. now you could ask me, "do you want to be with someone like that?" but I ask then do we all just pass off anyone with problems and leave them to date eachother? I dont think so.
After her date we talked about it. I explained that I was hurt and felt that her action demeaned what we heve been developing. This pain I believe is ego pain. Pain from possession. When she heard this she got a little defensive- as though I was attacking her, trying to make her feel guilty. This was most certainly not the case.
Guilt may be why she told me. Or jealousy seeding. Or an honesty thing-if did the same thing, I would tell her.
She explained to me that her last relationship left her in such a state of identity loss that she is reluctant to "jump in my boat and must learn to swim on her own"- in the case that she goes "overboard" and must prevent herself from drowning.
Im sure there are many factors at work here: learning to trust her own judgement, being weary of getting deeply involved too fast, learning to trust me, having difficulties saying "no" or "yes", trying not to think Im gonna turn out like her ex, etc. All stuff stemming from childhood trauma. Which means that sometimes what gets projected is really C saying "Im in pain, Im angry".
Let me say though Im not all that hurt anymore. She actually became closer after her date-maybe it was boring. Maybe my idealized mind thinks her date made her realize how great I am.
Maybe she is having problems coming to terms. I am the only person in her life at this point that: holds her hand, mutual kissing whenever wanted, consistent sex, consistent dinners, consistent discussions about us, plans and ideas for the immediate future, basically the stuff of an early relationship.
I dont really know. I am staying open and I am learning whatever I possibly can. This girl is certainly worth it.
TLH
Hi TLH,
It sounds like you are both communicating well - that's half the battle won right there! You sound like you really care and I hope this works out well. 'C' is probably wise to want to make sure she is fine on her own before committing herself further.
The reason I speak so cautiously is that I have been in love with my 'friend' for the past couple of years and have watched him try to recover from a painful breakup. I have hurt very much inside while he has dated others and acted secretive and distant. I had too decided that he was worth waiting for, but we lack the benefits of communicating well and I am now questioning whether I want to put myself through any more pain.
No, we don't want ignore others because they may have issues from the past - after all, most of us have some issues - but I have come down this road and it has not done me any good emotionally. Way too many tears and grey hairs 😉.
Keep talking with her and bless you for caring. No matter how it works out, she will be better for knowing you. We all have much to teach each other...
ScorpGal5
It sounds like you are both communicating well - that's half the battle won right there! You sound like you really care and I hope this works out well. 'C' is probably wise to want to make sure she is fine on her own before committing herself further.
The reason I speak so cautiously is that I have been in love with my 'friend' for the past couple of years and have watched him try to recover from a painful breakup. I have hurt very much inside while he has dated others and acted secretive and distant. I had too decided that he was worth waiting for, but we lack the benefits of communicating well and I am now questioning whether I want to put myself through any more pain.
No, we don't want ignore others because they may have issues from the past - after all, most of us have some issues - but I have come down this road and it has not done me any good emotionally. Way too many tears and grey hairs 😉.
Keep talking with her and bless you for caring. No matter how it works out, she will be better for knowing you. We all have much to teach each other...
ScorpGal5
I am proud of you TLH....
You seems to be a thinker and ok guy?
I wish you best luck with your adventure
🙂
You seems to be a thinker and ok guy?
I wish you best luck with your adventure
🙂
thank you
well as it stands, my adventure has become more confusing...
C's ex has popped his head in again. sheesh. the pattern is showing itself. he calls-she answers and gets depressed. he calls days or weeks later-she stops answering. he gets more persistent. he sends emails wondering why the cold shoulder. she deletes them and does not respond. the next "stage"(as she puts it) is that the ex is going to stop over. its a sick pattern that has been reoccuring for years.
every time he emerges it sends C into a depression where she is left feeling angry, doubtful, defensive, and ready to do battle.
I am left feeling confused more than hurt.
I want to go see her. Tell her that I love her (not with the aim to fix her though). If the ex shows up, he shows up. Let the butter hit the fan. Its got to sometime right? But part of me agrees with me when she says that she needs to rid him on her own and not with the safety and emotional protection. Sound like a strong and logical choice. But she's had the chance to make this choice for 5-7years.
I dont understand? Why put up with verbal and emotional abuse?
I mean, overall this has nothing to do with the ex. Its more so what he represents and what role he fulfills in her psychosis. A perfect fit in fact--the sadist meets the masochist.
I dont know what to do. She wants me at her side but she wants it to be for the right reasons. She doesnt want me to become a crutch.
Kind of noble.
So as her lover I want to see her strong. I dont want to be a crutch--been that, it sucks. I want him to go away. C wants him to go away and knows EXACTLY what to do to make it happen. But she does not. Why? He sucks. Has for many years. Plays her like a fiddle, embarasses her, humiliates her. And year after year she takes the punishment. The thing is, is that when she removes him that will be the last of it. There are no other people like him in her life. She will have to deal with herself at that point. Maybe shes afraid of that. I dont understand.
If you saw a friend of yours getting beat up by someone else or punching themself in the face, wouldnt you step in?
I dont know what to do...
Any ideas....?
C's ex has popped his head in again. sheesh. the pattern is showing itself. he calls-she answers and gets depressed. he calls days or weeks later-she stops answering. he gets more persistent. he sends emails wondering why the cold shoulder. she deletes them and does not respond. the next "stage"(as she puts it) is that the ex is going to stop over. its a sick pattern that has been reoccuring for years.
every time he emerges it sends C into a depression where she is left feeling angry, doubtful, defensive, and ready to do battle.
I am left feeling confused more than hurt.
I want to go see her. Tell her that I love her (not with the aim to fix her though). If the ex shows up, he shows up. Let the butter hit the fan. Its got to sometime right? But part of me agrees with me when she says that she needs to rid him on her own and not with the safety and emotional protection. Sound like a strong and logical choice. But she's had the chance to make this choice for 5-7years.
I dont understand? Why put up with verbal and emotional abuse?
I mean, overall this has nothing to do with the ex. Its more so what he represents and what role he fulfills in her psychosis. A perfect fit in fact--the sadist meets the masochist.
I dont know what to do. She wants me at her side but she wants it to be for the right reasons. She doesnt want me to become a crutch.
Kind of noble.
So as her lover I want to see her strong. I dont want to be a crutch--been that, it sucks. I want him to go away. C wants him to go away and knows EXACTLY what to do to make it happen. But she does not. Why? He sucks. Has for many years. Plays her like a fiddle, embarasses her, humiliates her. And year after year she takes the punishment. The thing is, is that when she removes him that will be the last of it. There are no other people like him in her life. She will have to deal with herself at that point. Maybe shes afraid of that. I dont understand.
If you saw a friend of yours getting beat up by someone else or punching themself in the face, wouldnt you step in?
I dont know what to do...
Any ideas....?
You seem a most caring kind person Teale - all your understandings of your virgo lover.
The pattern of the virgo person is so virgo-ish.....patterns of relationships rule their life.
It's not good enough that C. is letting her ex back. Deep down though she really wants it - otherwise it wouldn't keep happening again and again and again.
You are her lover.....you are no. 1 and should come second to nobody!!! I'd give that lady an ultimatum....say fine let her Mr. Ex come back, show his head etc. etc. and then she will go down into depression once again. Or for once, tell her to get her act together, be brave (virgos are quite fearful people) or else lose you.....
Alal this huffing and puffing is so virgo-ish and the pattern will continue for life, if you and her let it....
I say to you Mr. Nice Guy - you got to be a bit of a bastrad!!!show her you ain't standin for this nonsence again.
Sorry if this sounds harsh.......but you have got to be so dam harsh with virgos to get it into their heads!!
Good luck - I do know you love her and I do understand.
A x
The pattern of the virgo person is so virgo-ish.....patterns of relationships rule their life.
It's not good enough that C. is letting her ex back. Deep down though she really wants it - otherwise it wouldn't keep happening again and again and again.
You are her lover.....you are no. 1 and should come second to nobody!!! I'd give that lady an ultimatum....say fine let her Mr. Ex come back, show his head etc. etc. and then she will go down into depression once again. Or for once, tell her to get her act together, be brave (virgos are quite fearful people) or else lose you.....
Alal this huffing and puffing is so virgo-ish and the pattern will continue for life, if you and her let it....
I say to you Mr. Nice Guy - you got to be a bit of a bastrad!!!show her you ain't standin for this nonsence again.
Sorry if this sounds harsh.......but you have got to be so dam harsh with virgos to get it into their heads!!
Good luck - I do know you love her and I do understand.
A x
And one other thing.....her going on a blind date.....and you being OK with this!!!....for god's sake man, you get your act together......she's playing you for a fool......don't allow yourself to...this lady is one cute, intelligent cookie......you've now got to be one step ahead of her - all the tiime......
Thanks Alana but I think that worrying about steps and being ahead makes it into a competetive thing. I dont think there is any room for game play and competetive attitudes in the area of love.
I dont think she is playing me for a fool. Maybe she is. I dont know and I dont want to jump to conclusions. I think Id rather have proof first.
Really I think that she is inbetween. She is not sure about what to do with her feelings.
I dont think an ultimatum is the best thing. It will scare her. In the past six months she has really come out of her shell. And I dont think she needs someone barking at her to quit dragging her ass and get on with it. She is also very stubborn. An ultimatum may put her in a combative mode.
She needs to learn to relax the grip on her mind and on her heart. This takes time and patience. Its kinda like having diherrea.
No seriously...in order to relive ones self, one must relax the sphincter. For some reason if one pushes, the body resists and although the excretion does come out, the act is much more difficult.
A weird analogy but it really gets my point across. Sorry to gross you out if I did.
TLH
I dont think she is playing me for a fool. Maybe she is. I dont know and I dont want to jump to conclusions. I think Id rather have proof first.
Really I think that she is inbetween. She is not sure about what to do with her feelings.
I dont think an ultimatum is the best thing. It will scare her. In the past six months she has really come out of her shell. And I dont think she needs someone barking at her to quit dragging her ass and get on with it. She is also very stubborn. An ultimatum may put her in a combative mode.
She needs to learn to relax the grip on her mind and on her heart. This takes time and patience. Its kinda like having diherrea.
No seriously...in order to relive ones self, one must relax the sphincter. For some reason if one pushes, the body resists and although the excretion does come out, the act is much more difficult.
A weird analogy but it really gets my point across. Sorry to gross you out if I did.
TLH
Fair enough Teale.....you know best and you know her best.
I am aquarius and very much into playing head games and being one step ahead all the time. This is not to intentionally hurt people but it's just the way I operate - I need to play in the game of love. It's a turn-on for me.
I do know that Virgos don't like to play games. Mr. Virgo constantly used say - why do you play games with me? I played them with him because he was oh so stubborn, so narrow minded or had a closed mind, he drove me to drink - literally on occasions - that man evoked like no other person on this planet the good but also the worst in me and said and did quite cruel things to me. Naturally I got my revenge😉 - as I always do! Having said all that, for me he was the most sexiest looking guy on the planet. I know for certain that I will never "Fancy" or "feel passionate" about another like I did with him - I loved, love, and will always love him deep down....he is the teardrop that sits inside my soul forever......but we can never be together again.
Keep us posted pall.
A x
I am aquarius and very much into playing head games and being one step ahead all the time. This is not to intentionally hurt people but it's just the way I operate - I need to play in the game of love. It's a turn-on for me.
I do know that Virgos don't like to play games. Mr. Virgo constantly used say - why do you play games with me? I played them with him because he was oh so stubborn, so narrow minded or had a closed mind, he drove me to drink - literally on occasions - that man evoked like no other person on this planet the good but also the worst in me and said and did quite cruel things to me. Naturally I got my revenge😉 - as I always do! Having said all that, for me he was the most sexiest looking guy on the planet. I know for certain that I will never "Fancy" or "feel passionate" about another like I did with him - I loved, love, and will always love him deep down....he is the teardrop that sits inside my soul forever......but we can never be together again.
Keep us posted pall.
A x
WE've been there and worn the t-shirt CB - we are those soldiers:-) Again that virgo guy rang me this morning at 9.30 at work with all sorts of loo-la theories why I had my phone closed last nite...he told me I was probably drinking with my boss!! (my boss by the way is a priest!!) Then probably fcuking someone......(truth was I was having my bath and tucked up in bed by 10 alone - didn't want that hound ringing me from my beauty sleep!!! Before he used to make me crazy when he rang with his theories.....now as I am no longer with with him, he makes me laugh - he told me he knew me so well....last time he rang he called me mystery woman and said he could never understand me........anyway, N. is N.
You keep happy my friend - very happy.....
A x
You keep happy my friend - very happy.....
A x
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