My virgo sex friend-its getting confusing...

Hi guys, I told a virgo guy that all I want is physical stuff and he was ok with it. Few days ago when we got together we chatted for about an hour and were talking after (pillow talk). He told me that he always thought I was the type who's looking to find a husband. I said I am but with the right guy. He continued to tell me how he's not looking for serious stuff and I said i know and I've never really seen you as a person I can be serious with. You seem to be having too much fun which is fine but I'm looking for someone who's a bit older and more ready to commit.

He kept bringing up how girls try to get him to be serious and I kept reassuring him that i don't see him like that but what we are doing is fun for me now. Anyways, we had a great time and the night after we were at an event together that I was hosting (big event). He was there..once the dance floor opened I said hello to him and he put his arm behind me infront of his friends. I said hello to everyone and playfully walked away. Anyways, I was tired of dancing and I kept my distance from him on the dance floor but I could feel him watching me, I sat down and my back was to him and my friend told me that he keeps looking at me. Ugh..wth is going on? He didn't call me since than but I saw him again in public and he came and sat with me and my friend for a while until eventually I asked my friend if its ok if we leave and I was outta there.

I only see him as a very attractive player who i have a physical relationship with. Is he feeling or thinking more or am i reading too much into it? i told him to keep this private so I refuse to dance with him in public or be seen much with him besides my bedroom. Am i reading too much into it?

Virgos like to stare at those that intrigue them. Does that mean he's developing feelings or something? No. But for whatever reason, you intrigue him to a degree.

If he IS a player, he could just be trying to play this game of winning you over and wanting you to be all over him. Hopefully not but, it's possible.

Or maybe he likes you a little bit. Give it more time and pay attention to his actions.

How many times have you guys had sex and how long have you known each other?

Sex 3 times but I met him over a year ago and i could tell that he liked me but I was seeing someone. Once my ex and i broke up he was after me at a party and we went to his house which he insisted that nothing will happen. We kissed and than i ran out as he was trying hard to keep me. I was just not that into him to have sex. I saw him on and off at the gym/around among common friends until about 3 weeks ago when we met again with other people and ended up hanging out for 12 hours together along with other people and ended up at my place. He told me that night at 4 am that we don't have to have sex and that he just likes talking to me and i said well this is the first time I enjoyed your company so i want sex.

We are in a similar professional field and he considers me intelligent and hardworking and compliments me on it.

What kinda actions should i pay attention to—? I don;t wanna read too much into everything and ruin a good thing either because I have fun with him now. He's had an attraction towards me since we met a year and a half ago. He's 25 and i'm 32 so i can't take him too seriously.

Just to be clear, you ONLY want him for sex right now? Or do you find yourself interested in him but you are unaware if you should pursue that kind of situation bc he is younger?

Now that you've told me the backstory, ok it is clear that he likes you. Virgo don't give their time to people that don't deserve it and if they're not interested in some sort of way... and you being an older woman, that's probably a plus for him. Virgos aren't shy to pursue an older woman. They usually have what they want. Intelligence, maturity (sexually and emotionally), usually stable etc.

Don't read into anything, but if he starts to do things that are very thoughtful and extra special, you now his feelings are growing.

ie: taking you home more often (they like to know you are safe, especially after being with them. they feel responsible for you and never want you in danger if they could have prevented it) spending money on you, wanting to talk to you more and do things with you outside of sex. Virgos like to be of service. So the more he does for you, the more he cares for you and wants to help.

Posted by CurlyAries
Just to be clear, you ONLY want him for sex right now? Or do you find yourself interested in him but you are unaware if you should pursue that kind of situation bc he is younger?

Now that you've told me the backstory, ok it is clear that he likes you. Virgo don't give their time to people that don't deserve it and if they're not interested in some sort of way... and you being an older woman, that's probably a plus for him. Virgos aren't shy to pursue an older woman. They usually have what they want. Intelligence, maturity (sexually and emotionally), usually stable etc.

Don't read into anything, but if he starts to do things that are very thoughtful and extra special, you now his feelings are growing.

ie: taking you home more often (they like to know you are safe, especially after being with them. they feel responsible for you and never want you in danger if they could have prevented it) spending money on you, wanting to talk to you more and do things with you outside of sex. Virgos like to be of service. So the more he does for you, the more he cares for you and wants to help.

Right now I'm not falling for him. Last time he kept telling me how girls try to get him to be there boyfriend and how he's not in for that. I said i understand and don't worry. I had already discussed this stuff with him before so not sure why he's brining it up again. I find him to be cold and cheap because I never see him spending money until the other day when he whispered in my year that the lady behind the counter has his card and to buy what i want. I ofcourse didn't but was surprised because he doesn't like to spend money on girls-I have seen him in action and on Saturday night I had couple of drinks and my friend and i were leaving and he asked me if I'm ok to get home and i shook my head and he looked at me and said yeah your ok. He doesn't call me or message me at all but when we hang out-most of our time is spent on chatting. Thank you for the advice. I will look for more indications. He's a big flirt so I've seen him flirt around with other girls-nothing agressive but I've seen it and this is what throws me off. Mind you I don't act like an arm candy either so he could me trying to get my attention,

Posted by HighwayChile

Posted by beautifulday
Hi guys, I told a virgo guy that all I want is physical stuff and he was ok with it. Few days ago when we got together we chatted for about an hour and were talking after (pillow talk). He told me that he always thought I was the type who's looking to find a husband. I said I am but with the right guy. He continued to tell me how he's not looking for serious stuff and I said i know and I've never really seen you as a person I can be serious with. You seem to be having too much fun which is fine but I'm looking for someone who's a bit older and more ready to commit.

He kept bringing up how girls try to get him to be serious and I kept reassuring him that i don't see him like that but what we are doing is fun for me now. Anyways, we had a great time and the night after we were at an event together that I was hosting (big event). He was there..once the dance floor opened I said hello to him and he put his arm behind me infront of his friends. I said hello to everyone and playfully walked away. Anyways, I was tired of dancing and I kept my distance from him on the dance floor but I could feel him watching me, I sat down and my back was to him and my friend told me that he keeps looking at me. Ugh..wth is going on? He didn't call me since than but I saw him again in public and he came and sat with me and my friend for a while until eventually I asked my friend if its ok if we leave and I was outta there.

I only see him as a very attractive player who i have a physical relationship with. Is he feeling or thinking more or am i reading too much into it? i told him to keep this private so I refuse to dance with him in public or be seen much with him besides my bedroom. Am i reading too much into it?

I don't think it's fun for him. You only see him as a player also. So, it is not such a beautiful day after all for him. Wise up, your the player here.

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I'm not a player. This is something that we both decided on and I was very honest with him from the very beginning. How does me wanting only sex from one guy a player? I care for him as a person and never make him feel like a piece of meat but he's too young to have a real relationship with and at the end of the day thats what i want. I want marriage and babies but with a right guy. You have to see him in action with other girls than you'll see why I think he;s a player.

Posted by HighwayChile
It's your wording of your comment from above.

"I only see him as a very attractive player who i have a physical relationship with."

Then you go on about he's young.

Maybe if you approached him in the right way he would not have that 'flailing women syndrome' with you.

So, you wonder why he's staring at you? BC, he's a piece of meat to you?

He sure is not staring at you for no reason. How hard is it figure out? Maybe he likes you!

@beautifulday

What are you trying to say by flailing women syndrome? If he likes me than why would he keep saying that he only wants a physical relationship? He is very attractive so he can find tons of other girls.

Posted by SensitiveBlues

Posted by HighwayChile

Posted by HighwayChile
So many females come to the virgo forum with your same problem. I truly believe that you women think some other woman is going to steal your man when it may never be the case..

TBH...the only females that is going to steal your guy is your female friends......keep him away from them

you don't know how to stay from a woman's friends? that's weird

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And he's not my man. He's single and free to date other girls and am I. I'm not worried about him dating other girls at all. And right who the hell makes a comment like your female friends will steal your man? WTH is wrong with you sweety..need therapy maybe?

Posted by beautifulday
I don;t wanna read too much into everything and ruin a good thing either because I have fun with him now.

Yeah but see, if it's just you having fun then this is selfish.

While I do agree that it's up to the other person to keep their feelings in check and if they fall, to walk away themselves....human consideration would imply for the party who doesn't have feelings to notice that and end the arrangement.

From everything you shared, I'd guess this isn't so fun for him anymore and is falling for you.

I've been there on your side and when I started seeing things that were outside of the realm of pure fwb I asked him straight up if he's falling for me. He said yes so I walked away because from that point on we were operating on completely different planes and it wasn't fair for him.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by beautifulday
I don;t wanna read too much into everything and ruin a good thing either because I have fun with him now.

Yeah but see, if it's just you having fun then this is selfish.

While I do agree that it's up to the other person to keep their feelings in check and if they fall, to walk away themselves....human consideration would imply for the party who doesn't have feelings to notice that and end the arrangement.

From everything you shared, I'd guess this isn't so fun for him anymore and is falling for you.

I've been there on your side and when I started seeing things that were outside of the realm of pure fwb I asked him straight up if he's falling for me. He said yes so I walked away because from that point on we were operating on completely different planes and it wasn't fair for him.

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Thank you for that. That totally makes sense. I would do that as well but last time he brought up the issue as I figured he's on the same page as me. This is what he said when talking about "us": you seem like the type who is searching for a husband. me: I was a bit taken a back but agreed that i am that person but I want the guy to be the right guy for me. him: ok because i'm not really looking for a serious relationship. me: I see that. I never thought that you were. him: ya i was in a 4/5 year relationship (he's 25) and now i want to just have fun. me: I understand and as you should. You are young and should enjoy life.
I would totally tell him that this is not going to happen again if he didn't talk about that. He sits and talks to me about stuff before and after and is very respectful to me and i have seen him be an ass to other girls. Like he was sleeping with someone but didn't wanna be seen in public with them but with me if i'm around he'll come sit next to me.

I guess I'm confused because of that last conversation hence me writing that I don't wanna read too much into everything and ruin a good thing either because i do have fun with him. What if i assume that he likes me but really he doesn't. I have never dated a virgo so i'm not sure what they are like.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Could it be as simple as I'm here and you're here? For the sake of argument he's not falling for you, that still doesn't mean he wants to watch you flirt and go home with someone else either. Not to say you would, but I'm saying maybe there's a bit of ego/jealousy involved.

I can handle the ego and jealousy part to a point. He hasn't shown jealousy yet. He flirts with other girls infront of me but I don't do that but I do talk to anyone male or female who comes to me. It doesn't bother me that he flirts with girls or even dances with them in front of me because I want him to be happy and with the right person and i understand what I want from him. I think I will take the advice of someone here and watch his actions over the next month and decide as to if I should shut it down. Month because he's away for the next 2 weeks.

He told me the last time we met up but I'm the one who originally wanted just casual stuff. He was surprised in the beginning so his actions are kind of conflicting what he said last time. Makes me wonder if he actually means what he's saying or just putting up a front.

When we hang out its mostly us talking..even in bed. Like last time he was about to leave my place and just sat on the bed all ready while i was ready to fall asleep to just talk to me for more than 30 mins. Just chit chatting about life and what he wants. We talk about career goals and life plans. This is why I wonder. I'm a leo so I'm open like this with everyone-just don't know how virgo men are and don't want to confuse him. It has happened to me so many times before where i think a guy and i are just friends and than turns nasty cause i find a new man even though i had mentioned straight up that we are just friends. This is physical so I want to be extra cautious. Hence, the questions.