Need advice......

as my post before.. (will virguy get jealous)...something has bugging my mind, and i need advice

before we'r together, he actually has a relationship with a scorpion (he said to me he doesn't like her, can't talk with her,strange, etc.. he had tried to broke up with her, but since she like him so much, then she always says that she wanna wait till he like her...)we met before they broke up .. hanging out together.. then we both realize that we like each other.. (he has made up his mind to broke up with the scorpion with the same reason.that he doesn't like her..)

well, it was me first who tell him that i like him.. thou, i told him that he has girlfriend.. so i couldn't do more.. we talked and i think that i made him thinking "why should you be with someone you don't like?" (coz i feel it unusual with real life thou)...then he told me.. that he really like me too.. but he just don't know if it's love.. and I simply said to him that.. he has to be patient.. since love will not come easily, and fast..

(then we are together.. but before they broke up.. we already have our first kiss.. passionately) after they broke up..anyway..they are still friend..(he said he just want to be friend with her) she still doesn't know that he has a new girlfriend (since he said he didn't want to hurt her.. and he knows what he did was wrong...so he hasn't told her)

well, i still get jealous.. since this girl still keep calling him, if he didn't answer the phone.. she'll call more than i do.. (=.=)... there are once or twice that she called above 11PM (and he didn't answer it coz i was there)....

there was one time.. he got caught by me.. that this girl calling.. and he didn't answer coz he was riding his scooter with me.. and asked me to remind him to call her back... (well i reminded him to call her back..but he didn't call her back thou.. i don't know..)

the thing is.. when i said to him..he shouldn't say that it was just friend who called.. he can tell me that it was his ex, but his answer is... he won't tell me that his ex calling.. he'll just keep on "a friend calling".. coz he afraid if his ex calling, it will hurt me, etc.. he said again that maybe i(me)'ll not feel that way now, but later maybe... what he said.. was make sense..

but what bother me is HER... will he get back to her? since she keep his cat, and don't want to give him back the cat..what should i do? (he asked me to trust him, but what she does....) help me.. to clear out my mind

lol


You decided to be with a man, and pursue your feelings for him, eventhough you knew that he did NOT break up with his girlfriend.



So, lay in the bed you made.

what does it mean, P-angel?

It means that you agreed to be with him eventhough you knew he has a girlfriend ...... so, you have no right now to complain that this girlfriend is in his life, relating to him.



Your place is to be the woman on the side ..... remaining silent about his relatinship with her.


You have no right to speak on this subject, or subject him to your feelings about it.

Veyes, it appears to me as though you are trying to 'play' this situation, rather than actually putting forth mature effort in developing a relationship becuase you have used the word 'jealous' to question whether he would, and to state you are.



"(will virguy get jealous)..."

"well, i still get jealous.. "



With this jealousy game you are trying to manuever, and with your moving in on another woman's territory .... I would say that your interest is in being a Player, rather than actually having a desire to love this man.

It's quite obvious ..... he is taken, and you had no right to move in on another woman's territory.


Being a Scorpio, when she finds out about you ... she is going to destroy you.

And you will have deserved it.


My suggestion to you is to back off now ... leave him be to deal with this issue. If and when he is available, then you will have a right to move in.

If you don't back off and leave a taken man alone ..... then you have absolutely no rights in being jealous, or asking him questions about her, or telling him how you feel about him or her ... because he isn't yours, he is hers ..... this right belongs to HER.

Posted by P-Angel
Veyes, it appears to me as though you are trying to 'play' this situation, rather than actually putting forth mature effort in developing a relationship becuase you have used the word 'jealous' to question whether he would, and to state you are.



"(will virguy get jealous)..."

"well, i still get jealous.. "



With this jealousy game you are trying to manuever, and with your moving in on another woman's territory .... I would say that your interest is in being a Player, rather than actually having a desire to love this man.

It's quite obvious ..... he is taken, and you had no right to move in on another woman's territory.


Being a Scorpio, when she finds out about you ... she is going to destroy you.

And you will have deserved it.


My suggestion to you is to back off now ... leave him be to deal with this issue. If and when he is available, then you will have a right to move in.

Lol. I have to agree. You were fooling around with this man when you knew he was still in a relationship (a definite no no) and now you are jealous that she is still around b/c he cant let go of her (understandable b/c she's a HOT scorp, lol) and now you want to make him jealous. Not going to work. First off, if he were done with her and did not want anymore to do with her she would not be calling at all hours of night. He would have put an end to all that. I am guessing that there is something still there. Otherwise, he would not allow her to call him during what we all know to be booty call hours. Lol. By her calling all night long, she is testing the water to see how far he has moved on. Will he man up and tell her not to call any longer or do stuff like ask YOU to REMIND HIM TO CALL HER BACK. Wtf? That's crazy. She knows that he has not gone too far, because if he had he would have nipped that shit in the butt. She is also letting you or any other women who he might be dealing with know that she has not gone too far away and that he is allowing it.

Contd. . .

You started fooling around with him while he had girlfriend. That tells him that you are willing to be the side woman. I am not going to say that he DEFINITELY thinks this way. But you have given him the ammunition to do so. Never deal with a man who is in a relationship. That implies that you are willing to be priority #2. Furthermore, it implies that you are willing to disrespect his relationship along with yourself. Not good. And yes, IF the Scorp finds out about you...she will destroy you. Lol. Jk. Seriously, I am a Scorp and I have quite a few Scorp female fam and friends. We do not play when it comes to the people who we love, including our men. We will fight, kick, scream, cuss and fuss. Lol. Especially, if she finds out that he cheated on her with you. It will not be pretty. All of the Scorp females that I know place a large level of importance on respect, honesty and fidelity. I personally cannot stand liars, cheaters and home wreckers.

If I were you, for the time being, I would back off. As PA stated, I would let him iron out his issues with his ex. When and if he becomes available (Scorp is not calling at all hours of night any longer) then you two can work on a relationship that is not based on jealousy tactics. Besides why would you want a relationship that is built on infidelity, lying, jealousy and cohersion. Wouldn't you prefer a relationship built on honest, trust, fidelity and trust.

Best of luck to you sweetie.

first of all, thanks for all of the advices.. I really appreciates it

well, yes, i knew and i know what i did was wrong... and feel so stupid to accept what he asked to me to be his girlfriend.. when he kissed me, (i said.. no.. ) but well, our desire that time was so crazy.. we both saying... "gosh! you crazy, i'm crazy, we both are crazy to do this"... ~ we both Leo in Venus, Moon in cancer and virgo, Mars in Sagittarius and Leo.......

after the kissing, i said.. no, i think we couldn't be together, you need to broke up with her first, then try to get me.. but then.. he keep chasing me, hanging out, etc... but yes, we talked about the thing before he broke up.. that he is agree that we couldn't be together if they didn't break up.. we both felt really sorry for that girl.. and I was agree to him to make just be friend... anyway.. he said he don't want her to know about us yet.. even though it has been two or three months.. but he told his plans to not to told her that fast... (well now i know why.. thanks for both of you)...

yeah... he said, the scorpion get crazy very crazy if she get jealous.. and he just couldn't stand it.. since he is so extrovert, and has a lot of female friends around him.

well, of course, we are officially be together after he broke up.. we just had a several dating before.. so, i'm kinda like the third one.. but Gee! i did not asking him to broke up! I told him.. I like him, but I didn't want him broke up with the scorpion because of what i said.. I made that statement to him.. I just asked him to think.... since he asked for my advice about "what is like? what is Love" (I'm Leo...and i am a giver.. i just feel so much love in my heart)... and he asked my opinion about relationship without based on like, they were together because he was just single that time.. and this girl like him so much.... so what i said to him was to think if his relationship was worth with this girl...

we had a very long discussion that time... and he made up his mind two days after and it surprised me a lot. i still asked if he made his mind base on what he want to or because of my opinion... and he said clearly that based on what he want to, and he had had enough with this girl..

so, what could I say more?

I didn't and i don't want to be the third coz i've had one very bad experience before.. (i didn't know that i was the third till the girl pop up on MSN and told me that she is his - now my ex - girlfriend)... Gee! that was re

Gee! that was really bad!!! and I asked to broke up after i knew that right away..

I know i have no rights to asking him about his relationship with the scorpion.. so i will not ask, and give him space...
(thou sometimes he is afraid that i would be like the scorpion.. who was paranoid... looking for his password, etc...)

me, i have this simple mind and says things as what i think. so, why i asked him to call her and help to remind him to call her back.. it was just because i thought it maybe there was something important, etc so she was calling him that much.. etc.. well although i smell something going on there.. but... i just have no rights, but at least he still want to keep his relationship with me... i think that is enough for now.

what i've decided right now is that if it's finally he choose going back to her... then it's good.. I know i'll be hurt.. but i love him, he deserves the best and happiness, right?

and yes, natural 25..... me even in my life.. i put honest, trust, fidelity, respect and trust as my motto. and i'm learning to be patient and prefer to trust him as what he said to me..

well, thank God that She still don't know about me...

one thing that he said about her when there was one time i asked him if she still calling him that late or not.. he said.. "no, she maybe don't want to meet me anymore and there is possibility that she will not returning my cat... besides, she is not in the hometown..." (is it because the scorpion is doing her vengeance? - i don't know)

but anyway.. thanks again for all of you.. i decided to just let it flow.. and give him what i can give (i mean care, love, etc...)... and stay quiet about his ex...

for information.. he is 24, and i'm 25.... and his ex is 28.... and i said to him.. I will always stand by his side for whatever his decision is.. as long as it is to make him happy... coz me.. i don't have anything besides my motto and love, and care.... well, he has ever told me once that she is prettier than me, she is taller than me and she has good shape of body, but he choose me.. and he just don't know why... and i think i'm ready now.. since i'm not that prettier or taller or good shape.. to let him go if he wanted to....

do all of you believe in unconditional love? well i do... and i will share it to everyone near me... especially him...

so thanks everyone, to make me feel relieve.. ugh.. finally i don't have to feel infidelity anymore.. Really, thanks and i appreciate

Hey Veyes! My wife is an aries and her bff is a Leo. The fire bunch sure does show unconditional love! What is strange is that they are supposedly "drama queens" yet they seem to be way less dramatic in the topic of jealousy than other signs. It seems Aries or Leos aren't prone to getting jealous. Sometimes they do have short tantrums. They pout, go to the other side of the room, take a breather and then confront you about it. It's cute.

Virski78, well... strange, isn't it? and i agree..

i just don't know how this unconditional love come from.. sometimes it is making me crazy...
for example.. if i was a single.. then i still have this love.. and i will care, help and share it for those who needs without expecting any rewards.. in my mind is just if there is a reward.. then it is good.. if there is not.. it's ok, i'm glad to make those people happy.. and the thing is.. those people is not just enough for me to share my feeling...

so then, i see this virgo guy, and i can feel it that he needs it... i feel that i can understand him, since he didn't know what love is (as he asked me) what the different between like and love, etc... then i just told him.. love is what i share, what i give in without expecting any rewards... and i will always stand right beside someone i really love. (i told him this before we are together)... and after we are together, i asked him again.. whether he get the feeling of what love is? and fortunately he said yes.. and he also said that it makes him happy, and he glad that i'm happy to share it.. even he feel it strange that i can be happy to give his freedom... and without expecting anything....

yeah.. i know.. strange.. but that's it unconditional love that i believe (sounds like a sh**.. but i have it, i admit it, and i'm happy with it)

"to love is not to be possessive, to love is to let it go, it will be hurt sometimes, but yeah.. that's life, some craps happens, and we just have to remember to breath"

😛