NEED HELP WITH A VIRGO GUY??

I had a talk with my Virgo man telling him how I felt about him touching other women at parties when he's drunk. We've been talking for almost half a year, and I think things have been going well between us. He always tell me that I should tell him whatever that I'm thinking about, and if there was anything wrong I should let him know. We've been dating exclusively but not yet in an actual relationship (we don't see each other that often. he lives in TX and I'm from CA). I thought i should let him know how I felt when I saw him the other night with his arms around another girl's waist at the party. (he did it twice and it made me feel uncomfortable both times i saw it) Since things are getting serious between us, I believe he shouldn't be flirting like that. I've asked my friends about it and they said the same things. I told him that I wasn't trying to be controlling or hurrying to be in a relationship since being a relationship requires commitment and I wasn't trying to imply that he was to be committed to not to talk to other girls. I just wanted him to respect me. As simple as that.

While on Skype, he looked like he was about tear up because his eyes got all red and watery. I felt bad because I thought that I had said something wrong but he said it wasn't what I said. He was very quiet for a while and later said he wanted to change topics. I was very straightforward and told him exactly what I wanted to say. I may have sounded very direct... perhaps I'm scared him or might have hurt his feelings??

Correction. I meant to say "scared him or may have hurt his feelings"

Also he tells me all the time to let him know how I feel... and yet he doesn't do the same when I ask him to let me know how he feels...

You've expressed your feelings and there is nothing wrong to that, if he's mature enough he would understand that. You being direct is a good thing. The red and teary eye thing might have been caused by realization that he did something not to your liking.
Don't worry much coz after you deliver your part he is still talking to you as you said it in Skype right? He will sort things out at his most comfortable time (alone time) and if he is really in to you, he will change his way.

My motto is this. If you have to express to a man that his behavior is inappropriate he's not that into you. A grown man KNOW what's appropriate behavior versus not appropriate behavior.

His touching other women will not end. What will possibly end is him doing it in your face. Since you're not in an exclusive committed relationship he's done nothing wrong. Maybe he doesn't do long distance very well.

If a woman have to TELL a man to respect her it's not going to go very far because a man that wants a woman would never do anything to lose her/make her feel disrespected and men know the quickest way to say to a woman "I'm not that into you" is to flirt and touch other women in her face and this typically where the woman/you would exit.

If there is no FORMAL rule/boundary/structure for him to abide by, no commitment etc well he does not have to respect you in that way because he's doing anything wrong technically. He owes you nothing until the relationship is formalized between the both of you.

I believe the problem you have is you put yourself in the friend zone and LOST a certain amount of power/leverage that comes with being in a commitment to influence him to want to commit to you beyond friendly dating.

This can be quite confusing for a man because the foundation is shaky, either you're in a committed monogamous relationship or your not and if you're not then there really isn't any rules he should be conforming to.

You believe he's dating you exclusively when his behavior points to him not dating you exclusively if he's flirting in your face with other women, touching other women because doing that leads into him potentially dating new women, if he's touching them and they are allowing themselves to be touched there is a MUTUAL interest be it sexual, mental.

Maybe consider reanalyzing what you're doing with him and how your relaxed boundaries ie being a friend with benefits will gave him the green light to do whatever it is he's doing. You truly lose when you accept less (less relationship/FWB) and turn around and place a red light on his behavior. This is usually when the break up gradually begins.

because he's not doing anything wrong technically.

Posted by putiputi
I had a talk with my Virgo man telling him how I felt about him touching other women at parties when he's drunk. We've been talking for almost half a year, and I think things have been going well between us. He always tell me that I should tell him whatever that I'm thinking about, and if there was anything wrong I should let him know. We've been dating exclusively but not yet in an actual relationship (we don't see each other that often. he lives in TX and I'm from CA). Since things are getting serious between us, I believe he shouldn't be flirting like that.

Here's what I have to say about ^^that.
1.) Unless you see each other at a minimum 3 times a month, this very long distance relationship will not work. When I say "see" I mean in the same room LIVE.

2.) There is no such thing as exclusively dating LONG DISTANCE. Either a committment is made or it is not. You even admit you are not in an exclusive relationship.

3.) Things are not getting serious, because you are not in a committed relationship.

Now since he's a Virgo he already knows this ^^ and is probably wondering why you are laying out rules for him? Move to Texas, get that committment and go from there. Anything short of that, you really don't have the right to dictate what he does. He sounds like he's not screwing around, but that in reality is just an assumption since you aren't there with him. See the point? You'll drive yourself nuts as time goes on.

I would like to be in a relationship with him but since we both live far apart and have only physically spent time together twice; he's not sure if we should be in a relationship yet. He told me he really likes me. He only has this touchy behavior when he's drunk and I've already told him about it but he says he can't remember that he did that.

He actually did told me not too long ago that he plans on moving to California. I guess he can't be in a relationship with me unless we spent more time together in person and not through Skype or texting.

sorry to interrupt on this thread, but here's another hopeless female with a terrible crush on a virgo. I did post in a thread about dating and ages, since I'm a 40 year old sag, and my virgo crush is 27... Please don't use the term cougar, since this is the first time EVER that i fall for a younger guy.

Well, same old same old.... I as a sag woman, rather open, sometimes blunt, don't know how to read those damn virgo signs of interest.

He's young, unexperienced. To make things complete I still am in a relationship, although one that is ending. He knows my partner, and he knows the relationship is about to end. So far the facts.

Here's the things that happen. We text a lot, at least daily. We mail quite a lot, at least daily as well. He'll ask for my advice on things for his job and stuff. And he usually follows my advice. We'll tease ease other with small things. We see each other at least one time a week, sometimes more often. He agreed on 2 occasions to go and have a drink with me. Nothing happened though. When we are together we seem to get all shy around each other, both of us that is. We like to smile/look/catch eyes. And when it's time to leave it seems as if we don't want to separate. But mind you, all this in a very subtle way, nothing too obvious. That's why I sometimes am afraid that most of it is just me wishful thinking. But as a sag we are not used to playing a subtle game, we are rather bold I would say. So this is all really new too me.

It seems like quite a lot of the signs of mutual interest are here, except the touch thing. You know, where people who like each other a lot seem to want to touch each other all the time.

I am swung back and forth between feelings of attraction and deep doubts with this virgo man; WIth doubts I mean doubts that the attraction is mutual.

oh hello starlover, you again :-). Well see, although as a Sag I'm supposed to be not that shy and stuff. But I am really really afraid to get my feelings out in the open to him. Because I am so in dubio about the signs he gives me.I don't think I can handle rejection well. Except that it would leave me heartbroken, which is kind of shite, but something I could handle. But don't know if I can handle the —shame?? it would make me feel and the akwardness between us in case he would reject. We have been out for drinks twice, but he is too shy to make a first move and I'm too shy to make a first move??_.ugh. I need to get my charts done again, I think I have a lot of Virgo myself??_ He already did admit that it takes him a long time to get into someone on a romantic level and that he needs to get to know people and stuff. But we know each other for 2 years now, although the tension —only?? started to build up since last September and got really up to speed for some reason since March??_
See I am totally not used to men not making the first move.