Security vs. Risk Taking

I'm having a conversation with a Leo friend right now about this.

We found out that a Taurus guy I've mentioned on this site is basically being treated like...well, sh.it by his wife (I have yet to find out her sign). Leo friend is fascinated by why he stays, and I told her,

"From what I've experienced of earth signs, Virgo/Taurus/Capricorn...we feel obligated to stay. These are the 3 signs I've seen stay in abusive relationships the most (keep in mind I'm not saying all people of this sign, I'm saying those I have known). My stepfather (Virgo) and mother (Taurus) are like prime examples for me--there's no love left between them from what they exhibit, and they've always spoken of leaving each other after me and my little brother grew up and well...we're grown, lol...and they're still living in the same house, but as roomates it seems...it's quite sad. I dare not ask them why they don't just go out there and find more suitable partners, that's just crossing a line as the child, but I do wonder...

My sister-in-law...well, she's not married to my brother yet, but I consider her that in my heart...is with my Leo older brother, who is physically, verbally, and mentally abusive towards her. Traits he inherited from our mother, unfortunately. I've witnessed him beating her up, and have even jumped in--risking my own hide, to save her. Yet, she remained with him to have 2 kids together, who also get yelled at (but not beaten, thank God). When she talks, I just sit back and try to listen, really seeking to gain understanding on why she stayed, and still stays. He doesn't work, today is his birthday--he's 37, she's 33. She's the breadwinner, and all he does is stay at home all day smoking weed, sleeping, and playing video games. She makes so many excuses for him, but it's weird--she'll complain about something he does, then make an excuse for his behavior, complain about something else, make an excuse for it...It's so sad, she's very intelligent and could make a worthy man a wonderful wife...I have just gathered she feels bound to him.

I know another Capricorn man (an ex) he stayed with his abusive ex wife even after he found out she was sleeping with another man in his bed. When I gently inquired why he put himself through that, he just shrugged and looked off into space.

I think this is why I am terrified of falling for someone hard. I can't imagine spending my life feeling tethered to someone (mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually, financially). I think that's why I work so hard to be financially independant, and don't place much emphasis on sex. I also think that's why I'm so defensive, and uppity--the fear of someone trying to control me. I don't know what I'd do if I were with a partner that was abusive in any way, and I brought kids into the world with them...would I fall into the trap the others above did? Feeling obligated?

That scares the hell out of me...to have come through so much in life, only to dig my own grave by promising myself to someone cruel who would basically be a miserable end to my life...

So, do you feel you could break away from abusive partners, even with children in the mix? Do you find yourself in loop with unappreciative or abusive partners? Do you feel this is true of Earth signs, and/or do you feel there are other signs to add to this theory?