Virgo disapeared after sex :(

I had met this Virgo out at a friends birthday party. He literally scoped me out of a crowd and followed me into the club and started asking me all kinds of questions to get to know me. We spent the whole night talking,dancing and making out and then later at the end of the night I was going home we were walking together and he asked to come to my house and I said no cuz i dont usually take guys home but he was so pushy so I did. That night we didnt have sex, just talked and the next day he got my number and text messaged me. We also talked on facebook for 2 weeks after that and planned to hang out again. When we finally hung out again.he took me to a movie with his friends. The whole time he was acting really nervous and I could tell he really liked me. After that we went to listen to some music and he asked me what I thought of him which I thought was a weird question to ask but whatever and when we were talking he told me he didn;t have a lot of time because he is studying, and plays in 2 bands and works. Then on the way home....we walked to where we had to catch the bus. he started making out with me again and it got really heavy so then he just said OK I gotta go and I asked him if he wanted to come to my house which I know was a bad move but we both had a couple beers in us...so then the whole ride home he kept saying, "we're not gonna have sex, right?" then when we got to my house i didnt really want to do anything cuz i was nervous too and like him a lot so then we are just staring at eachother deeply in the eyes for like 5 minutes and he begins to kiss me passionaltly and then gets on top of me and starts taking my clothes off.so then we ended up having sex...and at first he wouldnt take his shirt off (we are both 26 years old by the way) I had to ask him to take it off and then he came within 5 seconds and he was embarrsed I could tell. Then the next morning he took a shower at my place really early cuz he had to work....He twisted the shower knob all the way to the right and couldnt turn it off and my bathroom was flooded. I had to wake up my roommmates to try to help us and finally we fixed it. Then we spoke on the internet the next day.THen he had a concert the next week and I went with a friend because he told me about it a long time ahead of it...and when we talked he was acting weird.I was drunk and accidently grabbed his butt when I huggged him hehe then he said he would call me when when he goes out and he never called and nothing since

this was march 25th

I really really liked him!!! We had a great connection and then he disappeared! well i did send him a facebook message at the end of april asking him how things were since i hadnt heard from him and he told me he was good but very busy studying and playing and practicing in his bands and then he gave me some advice on some universities to study for my master even tho i hadnt asked him for advice....and then nothign still 😢 i just want to know if he will ever contact me again or if hes gone for good its driving me crazy i hate not having the upper hand

he probably seems shamed and insecure

what star sign are you?

maybe if you're a little goofy and show him a little worry he might soften up to you. but dont be actually worried, you got to have purpose in your actions and expression so he can change his perspective. then the situation will change to your advantage

HELP! what do you think? he ran off cuz he was scared cuz he liked me ? or he lost interest cuz of the sex?

probably both

give him the opportunity to feel dominant

dont let him feel premature ejaculation is failure - tell him its taking the edge off, warming up for the real thing. let him know that you enjoy that it happened - makes you feel good about yourself and you want to try again to see again. this way you can give him another go after he's popped his seal.

its like champagne, you open the bottle, some bubbles come out but there's the rest of the bottle left to enjoy

we havent spoken since the beginning of april....and when i sent him a message at the beginning of this month asking if he wanted to hang out he never replied....so i dont think i will be able to communicate that to him since i never know when and if i will see him again 😢

he could just be really busy. maybe approach him and ask for an honest answer - sorry we virgo can be blunt sometimes haha

if you want to be tactful, you can gather information from your friends or his friends since thats what you are lacking

or maybe he thinks i am easy and lost interest since we had sex on the first date but i could tell he really liked me 😢
if he doesnt want to see me again why wouldnt he tell me ? its just been so long...

i am a cancer. he told me at the beginning he was busy and in the last message he replied to me he said he was busy but there has been some updated photos of him and his friends out on facebook...so i know he cant be THAT busy...i dont want to ask him if hes still interested because i dont want to seem desperate ...and i have sent him 3 messages asking him to hang out since march so i dont feel comfortable sending anymore or asking him what the problem is...i guess i will have to wait as i hear virgos like a chase...but maybe he is too prideful and insecure abotu the sex to ever come back .

find out from other sources if you really want an answer or just approach him - you deserve an honest answer at least, its not fair to you if he holds the truth from you

Posted by Prince_Pisces
March 25th? and you still remember him? LOL

Lmao!

Peopled are supposed to have sexual flings .... you're not supposed to see him again and try to make a relationship out of it.


Just remember the fun you had, and move forward

Posted by cupcake123456

.. he replied to me he said he was busy but there has been some updated photos of him and his friends out on facebook...so i know he cant be THAT busy...i dont want to ask him if hes still interested because i dont want to seem desperate ...and i have sent him 3 messages asking him to hang out since march so i dont feel comfortable sending anymore or asking him what the problem is...

You are desperate ... so why would you be afraid to for him to see who you are?

Here you are thinking you know what he has time for in his life .... it was just a fling in the moment .. walk away with some dignity, rather than come in here telling us that you are monitoring him on fb


seriously ..... maybe he sense you were going to be this clingy and stepped away

Posted by P-Angel
Peopled are supposed to have sexual flings .... you're not supposed to see him again and try to make a relationship out of it.


Just remember the fun you had, and move forward

i thought someone of your wisdom would be more comforting of our generation, she wants to make a relationship with him or at least get some information

thanks for all the replies but this is not the guy to have flings...i know because of how inexperienced he was during sex and his friends told me he is really picky and never has a girl because hes too absorbed in his music

Posted by cupcake123456
thanks for all the replies but this is not the guy to have flings...i know because of how inexperienced he was during sex and his friends told me he is really picky and never has a girl because hes too absorbed in his music

focus on his music to appeal to him to give you some response and information

and also both times he did not want to have sex for whatever reason....the first time we didnt and the second we did...i felt like i kinda pressured him but he went along with it

Saying he doesn't want to have sex may be just reverse psychology to earn your trust...sorry. It's hard for some ppl to have flings, they want relationsips instead. They might be drunk and want a fling, but in the morning they realize that you aren't their type of relationship material since you gave it up so soon. I agree with p angel on this one. There's not really any point in comforting when it'll only hurt you worse in the long run. Your situation "is what it is" as far as i can tell...time to move forward.

ok thanks but i am just scared to try to talk to him after him not responding nor contacting me after the last message . im going to wait for him to approach me, dont u think thats the best?

ok thanks then nevermind im going to give up on it all together then

but ive just also read that its normal for a virgo to disappear when he gets too close ...and we had a really good connection so maybe he will be back? everything was just perfect that is why i am having such a difficult time letting it go..i know i should have by now but its just so hard for me

Posted by zeoblade

... she wants to make a relationship with him or at least get some information

No shit, Sherlock ... did you figure that out all by yourself ?

Posted by cupcake123456

but ive just also read that its normal for a virgo to disappear when he gets too close ...

everything was just perfect that is why i am having such a difficult time letting it go..

You're kidding, right? So, you read that about Virgos, have sex with him one time, and have yourself believing he has to do his soul-searching to see if you are Mrs. Right?

wtf?

No, that's not why you can't let him go .... the reason why you can't let him go is because you are desperate to have somebody want you, and will cling to anything that even resembles that someone looked at you.


It's been two months .... and you are clinging to the sight of his back as he stepped away to go live his life, which excludes you .... and then you are still clinging because you are sending him messages.


Seriously, dude ..... pry your claws off of him, he experienced whatever there was to share with you and walked away ..

he is just the first guy that i have liked a lot that also liked me back. i live in a foreign country and here a lot of guys look at me and try to date me because i look different than what they are use to but i have no interest in them because they are all pigs...this was the first normal guy i had come across in a long time, he showed interest and i had interest too so thats why its hard

ok thanks. i feel better now. 🙂 its just that im living outside my country and i am kinda lonely and so ive been dwelling

Geez, that night was just comedy of errors...

yeah candeh you would think he'd want a 2nd chance to redeem himself but no...
and thanks scorporella, as for things to do in my area...yes i am taking yoga classes and language classes along with working...it seems to be helping a bit but i just miss coming home to messages from him ...it will pass eventually, im just trying to keep busy. i always meet people when i go out but i am tired of the bar scene...and need to stay away from it but it seems to be the only place to meet guys

There's nothing more of a turn-off than a desperate woman.

im not desperate. im a cancer and im emotional especially when i really like somebody.

it just seems unfair you dont get an answer

you seem to be determined to get the outcome you desire. dont focus on the ideal goal - focus on the reality of the outcome

a person like that would throw me off because they arent honest and transparent, failing to meet that standard - could you imagine what he would be like in a relationship?

being desperate isnt an issue, you seem more desperate for an answer than the guy himself.

dont be passive about it - grab destiny by the horns and get the information you deserve. he seems like the kind of person that would get out of responsibility by evasion. you will need to invest in effort to go to him to achieve information. the guy is hiding something because he's untrustworthy

you're in a different country - dont measure your perceptions of people in a different country based on previous experience with people in your own country

Posted by zeoblade
it just seems unfair you dont get an answer

you seem to be determined to get the outcome you desire. dont focus on the ideal goal - focus on the reality of the outcome

a person like that would throw me off because they arent honest and transparent, failing to meet that standard - could you imagine what he would be like in a relationship?

being desperate isnt an issue, you seem more desperate for an answer than the guy himself.

dont be passive about it - grab destiny by the horns and get the information you deserve. he seems like the kind of person that would get out of responsibility by evasion. you will need to invest in effort to go to him to achieve information. the guy is hiding something because he's untrustworthy

you're in a different country - dont measure your perceptions of people in a different country based on previous experience with people in your own country

This may sound naiive on my part, but aren't ppl generally the same wherever you go, just different languages and customs? There's a $ $ holes and angels in every country.

Posted by Jcolli40

This may sound naiive on my part, but aren't ppl generally the same wherever you go, just different languages and customs? There's a $ $ holes and angels in every country.

yes but there's different kinds of arseholes and different kinds of angels depending on which country you are in

yes people are the same here as they are at home but yes with different cultures and customs...
i just feel like an idiot because i trusted him especialyl because he brough my out with his friends and introduced me to everyone so i thought maybe there was no other girl he had...what a moron i am. and then after he said he was busy but we would make the time...he should have just said im not interested anymore instead of strining me along...i am giving up on all men

Posted by cupcake123456
yes people are the same here as they are at home but yes with different cultures and customs...
i just feel like an idiot because i trusted him especialyl because he brough my out with his friends and introduced me to everyone so i thought maybe there was no other girl he had...what a moron i am. and then after he said he was busy but we would make the time...he should have just said im not interested anymore instead of strining me along...i am giving up on all men

focus on your profession, the more you get into a niche in life, the more suitable the people around you will be to you. you will narrow in on the person thats right for you because you will be highly specialised

yea i think i am going to move back to the usa. i feel too lonley here which is prob why i am acting out of the ordinary and not having success in relationships

Posted by cupcake123456

... i just feel like an idiot because i trusted him especialyl because ...

... and introduced me to everyone so i thought maybe there was no other girl he had...what a moron i am.

You're not an idiot because you trusted him ... you're an idiot because you are still hanging onto it to suffer it

You're not a moron because you thought there was no other girl ... you're a moron because he's dumped you and you're still deciding to wallow in the misery of it

Posted by cupcake123456

...he should have just said im not interested anymore instead of strining me along...i am giving up on all men

click to expand

I'm not sure what the fuck is the matter with you .. are you young and immature, or something?

He isn't stringing you along, YOU are stringing you along ... because he left you 2 months ago, which is a CLEAR indication that he doesn't want to have a relatinship with you. What do you need to get it through your head? do you need it flashing in neon lights?

He doesnt' want to have a relationship with you. Seriously, a five year old could get this, it's not that complicated ....... he doesnt' want you.

Adn then in your delusion, you say he's stringing you along? Are you really a moron?

And then you are so dramatic that you say you are giving up on all men, based on the fact that this man didn't do anything to you except decide he doesn't want you ..... when it was YOU all along who won't let go, once you're dumped?

Seriously dude ....... grow some pride and walk the fuck away.

Thanks for all your advice it all is really helping. I will also go for a diff sign next time
e. Virgos make me too nervous

Thanks for all your advice it all is really helping. I will also go for a diff sign next time
e. Virgos make me too nervous

^^^^Good idea! It goes both ways, you would probably make Virgos too nervous!

Posted by lildol
^^^^Good idea! It goes both ways, you would probably make Virgos too nervous!

i so agree, trying to please cancer to court them is quite a nervous experience. i feel like she's trying to adjust myself to me but i'm trying to adjust myself to her. if cancer can relax and let virgo drive, it would be so much easier.

but as friends instead of lovers, its better, just i can sense some intention behind the criticism of cancer. its different to virgo criticism. but i think i get along with a higher fraction of cancer than pisces but not as high as scorpio in terms of water element

this was the first virgo male i had ever met in my life too. i guess there aren't too many of them. i just felt like i was walking on eggshells when i was with him afraid to say an incorrect response to a question so this is not someone i would want to be with. ive been looking at the negatives and im slowly moving on

Posted by cupcake123456
this was the first virgo male i had ever met in my life too. i guess there aren't too many of them. i just felt like i was walking on eggshells when i was with him afraid to say an incorrect response to a question so this is not someone i would want to be with. ive been looking at the negatives and im slowly moving on

good to hear

let us know when you meet another guy

Wow, what is it about Cancers and Virgos making eachother so nervous. This is so true.

When it works, I think Cancers can be the best sign for Virgos.

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Wow, what is it about Cancers and Virgos making eachother so nervous. This is so true.

When it works, I think Cancers can be the best sign for Virgos.

this one cancer i know was nervous because she wasnt very skinny but i didnt mind. because she was nervous it was difficult for her to open up when you try to please her. she went for another guy, our friends told me that he's not very attractive (i cannot tell). it lead me to deduce that she less nervous around him - doesnt have to be super hot for him. i was a disappointed because i felt this was a little superficial - the guy is really smart, kind; so i think thats why she went for him but she would always complain about him haha. i made friends with him because i liked him regardless.

astrology has a high probability of explaining things to see the psychological/personality reasons behind people. my conclusion is cancer is worrier and self conscious. you have to tackle them at a particular angle - focus on their imagination to relax them. it makes life a lot easier when you try to please them

Posted by zeoblade

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Wow, what is it about Cancers and Virgos making eachother so nervous. This is so true.

When it works, I think Cancers can be the best sign for Virgos.

this one cancer i know was nervous because she wasnt very skinny but i didnt mind. because she was nervous it was difficult for her to open up when you try to please her. she went for another guy, our friends told me that he's not very attractive (i cannot tell). it lead me to deduce that she less nervous around him - doesnt have to be super hot for him. i was a disappointed because i felt this was a little superficial - the guy is really smart, kind; so i think thats why she went for him but she would always complain about him haha. i made friends with him because i liked him regardless.

astrology has a high probability of explaining things to see the psychological/personality reasons behind people. my conclusion is cancer is worrier and self conscious. you have to tackle them at a particular angle - focus on their imagination to relax them. it makes life a lot easier when you try to please them

click to expand

I know what you mean Zeo. They tend to scare off easily, and Virgos can be the same way. In a word: skittish.

It's sad that in your case she couldn't allow herself to be more open. How comfortable do you think you made her feel?

sorry screwed up the quote formatting previously ^

Posted by VirgoVixxxen


I know what you mean Zeo. They tend to scare off easily, and Virgos can be the same way. In a word: skittish.

It's sad that in your case she couldn't allow herself to be more open. How comfortable do you think you made her feel?

pretty comfy haha

the problem is she used her imagination too much. too much imagination --> too much assumption --> opportunity closed

if she just asked or i was given a chance to talk to her on a deeper level and show that i dont really care about her body shape (she had a nice face though) to prove to her i'm not superficial. she might have been less nervous. then you just use sugary tongue, sugary tongue to get back that cancer imagination --> all over red rover

its quite typical for water element. i've had pisces and scorpio partners (was going for the water set) and once the relationship gets deep and intimate they get really comfy. both became a little chubby haha

well im not insecure at all. but if i like someone then of course i am nervous around them but that has nothing to do with me not feeling adecuate within my own image. i think everyone is nervous around someone they like at first..thats usually suppose to be fun...u know butterflies and such ...although in this rare case it was different.

but i don't agree with cancers being self concious...i think it depends on the person as i know a lot of cancers like mylsef who are very confident ...i think cancers are more shy as in modest displays or reactions to others or about sharing things about themselves among those they do not know too well or don't care for on a friend level...self consious no...that would be the narrissist virgo 😉

Posted by cupcake123456
well im not insecure at all. but if i like someone then of course i am nervous around them but that has nothing to do with me not feeling adecuate within my own image. i think everyone is nervous around someone they like at first..thats usually suppose to be fun...u know butterflies and such ...although in this rare case it was different.

but i don't agree with cancers being self concious...i think it depends on the person as i know a lot of cancers like mylsef who are very confident ...i think cancers are more shy as in modest displays or reactions to others or about sharing things about themselves among those they do not know too well or don't care for on a friend level...self consious no...that would be the narrissist virgo 😉

i used to be nervous when i was young haha so stupid - now as a man i really know the process

my virgo abilities really help me to use every bit of information to know more about a person's situation. so i feel more confident how to progress because i can understand and know the current position of a person's emotional journey.

obvious not all cancers are the same but their tendencies are - just varying strengths. i really would have liked to have got with the cancer just to have a taste (dont think dirty) and see how the flavour differs to scorpio and pisces

its not we're narcissistic haha, we like to look in mirrors to keep ourselves in check. because of this habit, we virgo become mirrors to others to help them keep themselves in check. ok maybe a little vain haha

Posted by zeoblade
sorry screwed up the quote formatting previously ^

Posted by VirgoVixxxen


I know what you mean Zeo. They tend to scare off easily, and Virgos can be the same way. In a word: skittish.

It's sad that in your case she couldn't allow herself to be more open. How comfortable do you think you made her feel?

pretty comfy haha

the problem is she used her imagination too much. too much imagination --> too much assumption --> opportunity closed

if she just asked or i was given a chance to talk to her on a deeper level and show that i dont really care about her body shape (she had a nice face though) to prove to her i'm not superficial. she might have been less nervous. then you just use sugary tongue, sugary tongue to get back that cancer imagination --> all over red rover

its quite typical for water element. i've had pisces and scorpio partners (was going for the water set) and once the relationship gets deep and intimate they get really comfy. both became a little chubby haha

click to expand

Did you ever try and initiate conversation with her? Get to know her better? If so, how did she respond?