princessacancersagittaire
@princessacancersagittaire
10 Years
Comments: 3 · Posts: 191 · Topics: 21
Virgo ex wants me to hurt him? how to handle?
Posted by busyeyes88Hahaha I wish I could borrow your guts to say this on his face
@OP. Tell him to go 'do one'and grow the hell up and that life is too short for his bs!!! Then after that DO NOT RESPOND AT ALL to any messages of any kind. He will get bored when he realises he is not gaining your attention. But when you respond you are giving him what he wants..
Posted by SingASong41I did, you guys, I told him why I left, he said he's not buying it but accepted saying people have diff opinions. coming from another virgo too it should mean something, I think I'm gonna have to ignore him like you all say. it's just gonna be harder since I'll become a villain in his book any day thereafter but again maybe I already am 😐 c'est la vie gulp!
He sounds like drama. Don't give him the attention he so desperately seeks.
At the same time, maybe he needs closure. You could answer his question, and tell him to leave you alone. If he doesn't respect that, block him.
Virgo can be persistent. Ignoring doesn't really help, since they over think it and decide to try again. "Maybe my message didn't go through, maybe she was busy, etc.." so be blunt and tell him to fuck off.
He's trying to manipulate you.
Sometimes you have to be portrayed as the villian, especially to people who always play the role of the victim. It sounds like you'll be portrayed as the villian no matter what, unless you give in to his demands. As much as it sucks, sometimes we have to just let it go and be the "villian" to keep our sanity.
I disagree with all the posts in this topic.
First off you assume the statuses are about you and you say he hasn't been with anyone else since. You hint that there is no contact between the two of you since you broke up, except the him randomly popping up from time to time. How do you know the statuses are about you or he hasn't dated anyone else if you said you ignore him?
You say the breakup was your fault by your own admission since you dated someone you weren't attracted to, yet had no problem taking him for the ride. If you truly meant what you said about feeling at fault here, your attitude with him pestering you wouldn't be dismissive or so bothered. You would get that this is a person that needed closure and probably never spoke up about it. If someone is at fault for something, they would at least feel compassion and understanding. You have the opposite stance here, in how you paint the situation.
I think you left things vague when you broke up with him and didn't really bother to drill the message home so the pestering is what you get. There's hard to find a more obsessed Virgo than one who hasn't had closure.
Not excusing his pestering in any way. That part he should address with himself. But you not seeing this coming and the way you're handling it...you take a passive role to enjoy more drama. Pretty sure if someone would've dated you while not being attracted to you, you would've behaved even more erratically.
The situation = Virgo actions
Actions that prompted the situation to happen = OP actions.
lol@ anyone believing OP is innocent and jumping on the "he's manipulating you. ignore him" bandwagon. if she wanted to, she would've. but she doesn't because venting about this pest who gives attention to HER is much more productive.
First off you assume the statuses are about you and you say he hasn't been with anyone else since. You hint that there is no contact between the two of you since you broke up, except the him randomly popping up from time to time. How do you know the statuses are about you or he hasn't dated anyone else if you said you ignore him?
You say the breakup was your fault by your own admission since you dated someone you weren't attracted to, yet had no problem taking him for the ride. If you truly meant what you said about feeling at fault here, your attitude with him pestering you wouldn't be dismissive or so bothered. You would get that this is a person that needed closure and probably never spoke up about it. If someone is at fault for something, they would at least feel compassion and understanding. You have the opposite stance here, in how you paint the situation.
I think you left things vague when you broke up with him and didn't really bother to drill the message home so the pestering is what you get. There's hard to find a more obsessed Virgo than one who hasn't had closure.
Not excusing his pestering in any way. That part he should address with himself. But you not seeing this coming and the way you're handling it...you take a passive role to enjoy more drama. Pretty sure if someone would've dated you while not being attracted to you, you would've behaved even more erratically.
The situation = Virgo actions
Actions that prompted the situation to happen = OP actions.
lol@ anyone believing OP is innocent and jumping on the "he's manipulating you. ignore him" bandwagon. if she wanted to, she would've. but she doesn't because venting about this pest who gives attention to HER is much more productive.
@Damnata
long story short: he's on my fb, that's how i know when he posted pictures to flaunt his new girls and when they dumped him. now he posts just life quotes. in the whatsapp status too.
the first time we chatted on whatsapp after break up was about 6 months back (before that he used to call) he sent me his pics asking how it was and I sent him mine wearing coloured contacts. we chatted a couple minutes and when I saw the status UPDATED WITHIN FEW MINUTES to "you're a fake, something something ..." clearly in reference to what we were talking.
this is just one incident, he went on doing this for twice or thrice then I just shut him out then again after so long he's texting me day before yesterday and this drama! oh while he was bugging me that we meet the weekend, his status was, " I want to kill and burn somebody*smilies, guns, grenades*" again updated just a while ago, coincidence?
did you note I said I told him? I understand you wanna be non-biased but don't be judgemental either. I turn down his offer to meet up politely, I'm not texting him or never ever have initiated a text with him, why should I be accused of instigating a drama? I have a problem confronting people I know, I posted here to draw some conclusions as to how I should handle this without drama or ruining my reputation among our mutual friends and not for bragging about my fabulous love life in anonymity or proclaim my love for his passive-aggressive attention TYVM
long story short: he's on my fb, that's how i know when he posted pictures to flaunt his new girls and when they dumped him. now he posts just life quotes. in the whatsapp status too.
the first time we chatted on whatsapp after break up was about 6 months back (before that he used to call) he sent me his pics asking how it was and I sent him mine wearing coloured contacts. we chatted a couple minutes and when I saw the status UPDATED WITHIN FEW MINUTES to "you're a fake, something something ..." clearly in reference to what we were talking.
this is just one incident, he went on doing this for twice or thrice then I just shut him out then again after so long he's texting me day before yesterday and this drama! oh while he was bugging me that we meet the weekend, his status was, " I want to kill and burn somebody*smilies, guns, grenades*" again updated just a while ago, coincidence?
did you note I said I told him? I understand you wanna be non-biased but don't be judgemental either. I turn down his offer to meet up politely, I'm not texting him or never ever have initiated a text with him, why should I be accused of instigating a drama? I have a problem confronting people I know, I posted here to draw some conclusions as to how I should handle this without drama or ruining my reputation among our mutual friends and not for bragging about my fabulous love life in anonymity or proclaim my love for his passive-aggressive attention TYVM
I didn't say you instigated the drama by texting him or that his dramatic ways are your fault. They are his. And he sounds immature to boot.
But in the way you broke up with him, I'm sure you never confronted it head on. And you dated someone you weren't attracted to, then still didn't give closure. No Virgo would act like that if he had got closure but I think you avoided it. And it doing so, he spiralled into what he spiralled (again not exempting this dude of any guilt).
Someone who would feel at fault for how things went down would not react from a "this person is bothering me" stance. They'd feel bad for it and would find compassion. Yet your first OP in this topic doesn't talk about it. It's all about how much this pest annoys you. It's very easy to feel life should be breezy but sometimes there will be an aftermath to our actions. And I'm saying this because I also wronged someone once and felt shame when it was brought up to me. I wasn't offended or bothered by their actions, I felt shame all up until I cleared the air. You seem reluctant to show compassion and to have a real talk with him.
Dating someone you weren't attracted to was on you. And knowing it was on you, the aftermath should humble you and not annoy you.
I understand your last post, but the opening post came across as "I don't like when in the aftermath of being at fault , people will just keep being in my life and not slide into darkness to help me ignore the fact that I handled it wrongly". And this is what I was commenting on, all the other dramatic behavior is just details.
Don't take my words as gospel, I can't possibly know the dynamic between you. But as a Virgo, I am calling it like I am seeing it. He is wrong but you were wrong for dating him to begin with and not confronting him at the end or several times since then, whenever he talked to you looking for some clarity (the way he went about it was bad). Or you could go with the other replies that this man is clearly in the wrong here 100% and you had nothing to do with it.
Anyway, I digress. You asked for solutions. You mention you can't confront so take the easy path and ignore all the way.
But in the way you broke up with him, I'm sure you never confronted it head on. And you dated someone you weren't attracted to, then still didn't give closure. No Virgo would act like that if he had got closure but I think you avoided it. And it doing so, he spiralled into what he spiralled (again not exempting this dude of any guilt).
Someone who would feel at fault for how things went down would not react from a "this person is bothering me" stance. They'd feel bad for it and would find compassion. Yet your first OP in this topic doesn't talk about it. It's all about how much this pest annoys you. It's very easy to feel life should be breezy but sometimes there will be an aftermath to our actions. And I'm saying this because I also wronged someone once and felt shame when it was brought up to me. I wasn't offended or bothered by their actions, I felt shame all up until I cleared the air. You seem reluctant to show compassion and to have a real talk with him.
Dating someone you weren't attracted to was on you. And knowing it was on you, the aftermath should humble you and not annoy you.
I understand your last post, but the opening post came across as "I don't like when in the aftermath of being at fault , people will just keep being in my life and not slide into darkness to help me ignore the fact that I handled it wrongly". And this is what I was commenting on, all the other dramatic behavior is just details.
Don't take my words as gospel, I can't possibly know the dynamic between you. But as a Virgo, I am calling it like I am seeing it. He is wrong but you were wrong for dating him to begin with and not confronting him at the end or several times since then, whenever he talked to you looking for some clarity (the way he went about it was bad). Or you could go with the other replies that this man is clearly in the wrong here 100% and you had nothing to do with it.
Anyway, I digress. You asked for solutions. You mention you can't confront so take the easy path and ignore all the way.
Posted by princessacancersagittaire
.... I broke up with him when he was serious about me
From the way you talk in here, it sounds like you've never been serious about him, and just lead him on.
He's likely pissed about how carelessly you handled his feelings, since you KNEW you didn't want to be with him, and you KNEW that you would never be serious with him. At the time, he probably believed you when you were "faking" that you cared. Now, that he's had time to analyze what happened, it sounds like he realizes that you were playing him.
And then you come in here and mock him, and act like you are above him.
From the sounds of it, you've been acting like you are above him the whole time. I'd be willing to wager that during that time you were pretending to care, you took everything from him that you could possibly get.
I detest bitches. I hope you get your feelings hurt by someone you really care about ... you will deserve it.
You ARE a fake, and you've proven it in here in your own testimony.
Posted by P-Angelis that a coming from a 56 year old? real mature 😛 Pardon my french but it's got to be said, I can clearly you weren't here to give suggestions.Posted by princessacancersagittaire
.... I broke up with him when he was serious about me
From the way you talk in here, it sounds like you've never been serious about him, and just lead him on.
He's likely pissed about how carelessly you handled his feelings, since you KNEW you didn't want to be with him, and you KNEW that you would never be serious with him. At the time, he probably believed you when you were "faking" that you cared. Now, that he's had time to analyze what happened, it sounds like he realizes that you were playing him.
And then you come in here and mock him, and act like you are above him.
From the sounds of it, you've been acting like you are above him the whole time. I'd be willing to wager that during that time you were pretending to care, you took everything from him that you could possibly get.
I detest bitches. I hope you get your feelings hurt by someone you really care about ... you will deserve it.click to expand
don't vent out on dxp your loser life dude, maybe your spouse left you because of some other reason or maybe you never had one either way you only get what you deserve lol.
don't read below unless you wanna get hurt, but you'll also be missing out on your life's advice lol
Instead of yelling or cursing others online (yes I saw your other posts, if you don't like to talk like a human being then shut off and GTFO nobody gives a shit about what you think, calling people fools etc.) like a loser bitch, get a life. get out and meet real people maybe then you won't be so stupid and spiteful.
not everybody is cocksure when they get into a relationship, many people I know fell in love during the dating process and it's completely normal to go on dates with friends you like, to see if it works out.
Posted by DamnataThis is 100% accurate.
. No Virgo would act like that if he had got closure but I think you avoided it. .
This is a practical sign.
It doesn't make any sense to waste emotions on a door that was closed a long time ago...
Unless he felt things were left unsettled.
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every time I stop texting, he somehow find another day to bring it all up and bother me. one day I'm afraid I'm gonna lose my patience over him, it'll make me even more guilty.
the back story:
I wasn't attracted to him, he was my really good friend, the relationship was super fun but very non-sexual fun, he is talented and sweet and funny but he had no friends and has a way of bragging about himself and making every conversation about him which ended being very very boring and not just for me, for most of our friends. but I loved him for the sweet, sensitive person he was!
I thought we kinda need a break from all the overbearing emotions since were were just out of college and haven't even started working or figuring life out and also thought the relationship sorta weighed down our progress since we did nothing but hangout all day!
he was in tears the day I broke up and I understand it was very painful, for me too, but I just wanted to take a break for a year to grow up. now we're much better off than we did before, so my method did work. I asked him to wait but he dated another girl and she dumped him too and another, the same, I felt really sorry for him but I think he's still hasn't grown up. although sometimes I think we could've been together and done the same but he played victim too much.
when I asked him why he's acting like this he says he just says he wants to be friends but acts passive-agressive, mean and criticizing. what do you think I should do?
(sorry about the long post!)