Virgo-Libra male..what is he doing?

So he's a virgo-Libra cusp with a virgo moon ...


So he's an earth/air and earth mix? Well, being a slight earth and air mix myself. It could be that there is so much going on in his life at this point, he doesn't want the good between you two to suffer on the account that he can't get things together in his life right now. So he prefers to be friends, because its easier to have a friend and go through difficult times than have a 'partner' and go thorught it all.


Notice, I said, 'difficult' times and not 'hard' times. A love relationship could be just what the doctor ordered when going though hard times but when you are going through difficult transitions, its hard enough keeping up with yourself let alone someone else.

For someone who doesn't care too much about the other person, they will just let things be. For someone who really cares about the other person, will do with he did more than likely.

I don't know the full story and you don't have to post it, but yeah it sounds like he is saving both you and him alot of grief.

But hey, I could be wrong but from what I've read thats what seems to be happneing.

Miss Priss

In regards to the Caps in your life from you saying they are so sweet but only come along when they need something..While everyone is different..I have known evil cappies so this could be your case..I don't know another view point is I can relate to say..I give people in my life plenty of space..I think this can be confused to some too who don't know me well, my door is always open for someone and I expect my friends to know that of me and they do, I will be there for them no matter the hour..but I do also exercise the same action back if I need them, I don't feel shy to knock on their door and ask for it. I don't find that rude im just assertive and communicate. I find some people aren't that assertive to ask for help sometimes when they need it, they don't want to impose often they say which is nice but they get nothing done or go through hell for it alone. I try to respect others but also think that if I overstepped my place in the system that they will say they feel something is out of balance. Alot of people don't though. I havent seen this but Im just looking at another perspective from your view knowing myself how it could be seen.

I found male and female caps a bit different in a sense in courting someone. I'm very picky but in a realistic way. I'm certainly not someone leads anyone on or flirts really unless its with my bf. I expect a lot out of someone but on realistic ideals. But overall most caps unless over 35 of the males can be less serious about committing. This is because they were late bloomers some, they are just learning what they need and want and mainly because they have spent their life working to not focus on personal relationships.

Thanks for the reply MP =)

And I'm an Aqau Venus actually..and I gave people ton of space! My old Virgo actually..he thought I wasn't into him because I did that, I found out later. Thing is like him..I just like my own time too, yet I kill it because I wasn't very outwardly emotional when I saw him, I was more reserved. I've learned now to try to be less aloof around Virgs now for that reason. Since my own cousin even did that to me and I just had to reassure him I was into going somewhere he wanted to go or else he would stay locked away is his own world thinking I didn't want to hang out with him.

He's afraid of getting hurt, and so parting himself from you because of it .. that's what he's doing. However, because he feels you, this parting of ways is going to be a struggle and may take awhile before it's complete.


Virgo's, though they think they are adaptbale because they are mutable .. are actually extremely unchangable when it comes to emotions.


Because their analyzing process is grueling .. once they make a decision on a partner, it's firmly concreted ... so, when break up occurs, it takes eons for them to change feelings to be able to be partnered with another ... this is why he struggles with how he feels about you, as these feelings are compared to how he once loved the other.

Those feelings of love, is his foundation for definition ... and it could take a life-time to adjust the meaning of love. Hopefully not, hopefully, only several years.


He cannot grasp what he feels for you, though he knows feelings are present ... because he has formed a definition of what it feels like to love, and since you are a new person, of course, different feelings are in him that he cannot identify ..... yet, he knows these feelings are present in him .... so, out of fear of not knowing how/what to do about it because Virgos are essentially handicapped in the emotion-adjusting areas of life ... he's afraid that these very feelings he has for you, in which he doesn't know what they mean, might come back to hurt him, and you ... so he bounces to protect his heart .. yet, he can't bear to do that, either.




What you are currently facing is common-place ........ Welcome to the World of Virgos 🙂🙂

One day he told me couldn't come over, said he had a lot on his mind. He had revealed the last time I saw him that he isn't good at staying in touch w/friends sometimes or staying interested in a job too long. He said to me he's afraid of committing to anything cuase he never knows where he'll be in next years ahead to commit.

That alone says a lot, he's an emotionally unavailable commitment phobic man, he doesn't want nor desire to be in a real relationship or he would have had one, he likes being the lone wolf, I know you wanna figure all this out but you will not be getting much from this guy, he's nervous that you will EXPECT and NEED him in some way so he opted out fairly quickly, he may have his problems, he may suffer from some kind of disorder but if he truly felt you were the one he would not allow you to get away from him but if he's in and he's out of your life you can forget about having much with this guy, if you have an unsure guy on your hands then all you will be left with is more questions and confusion. When you saw him and he suggested lunch dinner etc the first thing you should have said to yourself is why, why go out with a guy that doesn't want to commit to anything, the moment you allowed him back in you set yourself up to be this fallback girl, the girl he can fall back to anytime he chooses, you just enabled his in and out behavior, the best thing you can do for yourself is stop getting in deeper, this guy isn't ever going to be what you want

Your biggest mistake is mistaking the connection you have and chemistry you feel as him being capable of being in a real relationship, he's made it clear he doesn't want close, the fact that he's only had 2 relationships is a huge indication that this man most likely isn't interested in anything job nor relationship long term.

"What you are currently facing is common-place ........ Welcome to the World of Virgos" :p

P-Angel... do I get a T-shirt now? lol

Chemistry and connection can lead to love but many women allow it to disarm them and they instantly start to fall in love before really understanding the mans needs and they are way way ahead of the man in the emotion department

Women don't seem to understand that chemistry and connection means something different for men, men don't allow chemistry and connection to dictate if they should be in a relationship, they will try to see if it fits but they will also walk away no matter how strong the chemistry or at best stop attempting to be in the womans life, if the sex is fruitful and free he will stick around but he's most likely closed his heart off to anything else, whereas women will keep falling and falling and falling and they are stuck, like your stuck and he's only still around because you enable him to be around KNOWING that he's not going to give you what you deserve, you still let him in and if you want to ignore the fact that he's unavailable to you then he's going to ignore it as well...

If you know he doesn't feel secure with a close relationship and you allow him to be in your life knowing what you know about him and hoping for me then whatever hurt you get out of it is your fault not his, he's made it clear he can't do a relationship, he doesn't know were he's going to be at any given time, that is him saying although your a great person, your attractive and what man wouldn't feel connection with a attractive woman he's not feeling it deeply enough to be in your life the way you would like him too yet the thing about some men is that they don't want to lose good women out of his life so he will do just enough to keep the door open but he won't do anything beyond that to show you the woman he wants more, he will half ass you all the way if you let him, it's up to you to believe and know you deserve more than that, if you know you are over him and your okay with friendship then be his friend but if you want more from this man and he's unwilling for whatever reason then you will be waiting a very very very long time...

Yet this is were I have an issue with these men like your guy, he most likely knew he wasn't going to be able to give you more than 3 months, I'm sure he's done plenty of 3 months relationships with women so I'm sure he went into it knowing he couldn't do a relationship day 1, so there is a bit of misleading with this man and I'm sure there have been many connections between his relationships but just doesn't count 3 month relationships as real relationships, I know he wasn't sitting around playing with his thumbs for 2 years because I know military men, how they are and what they do, I used to be in the military and they play with as many women as they possibly can therefore I don't feel he's being completely honest with you, don't allow him to string you along, as long as you put your best interest first then you will be okay. Men like him have relationship patterns and I'm sure he's on to another short term 3 month long relationship...they don't change unless they have to, they just continue to do what works and a few doors from the past are open then they manage to keep in touch and for some they leave many broken hearts behind them.

All I can say is that women need to stop believing everything these emotionally unavailable men say, he's a stranger, you don't know him and he can paint all the picasso's of lone wolfism he wants, you don't really know him, you don't know what he does during his free time and he wasn't that shy nor lonely because he found you and didn't hesitate to get involved or to hook back up, unless you have done a full background check and spoke to his family and friends directly... I would ditch the pity for him and see him for what he is, unavailable....

Thanks to everyone who replied!!