Virgo men & divorced women (advise please)

lilo ... I want to share something with you, just so you have a good comprehension, and awareness into yourself ...


When I first got with my Virgo, I had convinced myself that he had eyes for me, that stare was crushing (in a good way) ... at the time, I was pretty stupid for believing this was because of me.

Through the years, I often hear from friends, relatives, his co-workers, people on the bowling league .. everywhere, such things as ..

"Wow, he has compelling eyes. The way he looks at me .. it's like he can see through me."

Certainly .. you are crushing on him and I don't meant to burst any bubbles, yet ... you need to know .. the reason why these stares from this Virgo of yours has changed and are now making you go ga-ga isn't because his looks have changed ... rather, YOUR feelings have changed for him and you now percieve these same stares for hope that he feels for you the way you want him to.

And maybe he does ... I'm just trying to point out that he likely looks at everybody with those eyes .... but, because you like him, you now percieve the same look differently.

"extremely expressive eyes so I know he's getting the message, and I'm surprised that he continued considering my marital status"

I wouldn't say that Virgo's normally "get" non-verbal cues in the fashion that the other person "thinks" they are giving them. For instance .. what you are saying here is that .. since you are a married woman, you're surprised that he's getting the message of you projecting through your eyes that you are attracted to him.

He's a Virgo .. he's not going to pick up on those clues in the way in which you think you are sending them ... what he's going to pick up on is .. are those eyes for ME, or are they re-bound eyes?

He's a Virgo .. first you must understand from WHERE they come.


"he's a 44 year old bachelor, what are the chances he'd welcome a women into his life (for more than sex) at this stage. I can tell he is very set in his ways."

Indubitably ... which is the Virgo way. They have a certain "set" of standards and values. I wonder, though, if you realize that you are set in a way, also? You are believing that because you're married, that somehow this must have a taboo definition when it comes to attraction.

lilo ..... here's your answer point-blank about this Virgo and you being married (divorced filed) ... he most definitely IS apprehensive about your "eyes" for him BECAUSE you are married ... but, not for the commitment in itself, rather, the failure of it which has now brought your eyes upon him.

Seeing that he's a bachelor after all these years .. it would be prudent to try to understand what I'm conveying to you, for him never being married means that he's extremely cautious about intentions/motivations/sincereity, etc.

From his perspective .... he most likely smells re-bound.

What you should do is ... back off from feeling too overwhelmed about him, for if you let your feelings continue as they are, you will likely do something you'll regret, like send him a love letter.

If you tell him that you're filing for divorce and then give him eager eyes, as though you are ready to be taken by him ..... you've lost him, for his suspicion will have been confirmed.

The way to a Virgo is through truth ... truth to the self.

Ask yourself ... if you were happy in your marriage, would you have eyes for another man?

Yes ... yes .. yes .. he IS concerned that you are married, but, not in the traditional sense .. rather, is your attraction to him being true to yourself?

If you aren't being true to yourself, then you aren't being true to him ... this is how a Virgo will process.


Re-bound is NOT true feelings ... this is his concern.

I agree, Rox, that she has to get him outside of the office in order for them to get to know each other on a personal level .. I'm just concerned about how eager she presents herself to him, since he's apparantly very discerning = 44 year old bachelor.

This would send all kinds of signals to me that this man isn't the ordinary guy who will respond with the normal tatics of female seductions ... beit bold or subtle, ladylike or slutty. If he's gone this long without ever being married, then my instincts would tell me that extra care has to be taken when trying to secure a relationship because any kind of manipulation, even with good intentions, will likely send him packing if it's suspected.

Think about it ... if this man is this good-looking, this sweet, this respected, this good of a catch .... why is he a 44 year old bachelor?

He's either gay, or very discriminating ... if he's straight, then he is far from easy to catch, and will scrutinize every tiny aspect of a potential mate. More than he would just being a Virgo, lol

Perhaps, what should happen in for an outing in a group setting ... maybe go out for pints after work one night. A place that has a dance floor, so there's a chance to get close, without it being forward. Get a co-worker to ask him specific questions, so it will appear innocent. Get this same person to ask you leading questions also, so this Virgo can learn stuff about you that doesn't seem so obvious. Maybe questions about the failed marriage, so he can see that you've been unhappy for a very long time, so then maybe he will discount the rebound factor.

You're welcome, lilo 🙂

It's obvious that you care a great deal about him ... and after being unhappy for so long in a marriage, you certainly deserve to feel alive with love. And apparantly, he is missing this also, since he's a bachelor. He's probably feeling like after all this time, that he's deserving of a good partner, also.

I know it's hard for you since you're a Sag because by nature, you will want to push forward, you will want to embrace what your heart tells you straight away .... but, to be with a Virgo requires tons, and tons and tons of patience. They move at a very slow pace when it comes to their hearts.

Try to get him out of the office somehow ... in a casual setting. Get a couple beers down his throat, so he'll relax and open up. 😛

Dang Roxi! Did you have to say tickle?? I'd LOVE to tickle him into submission and then some. Some day I hope I hope I hope.

"As I type this I realize I am in love"


Awe .. 🙂🙂🙂

Coming from a Virgo woman - Virgos notice EVERYTHING!

So if you want him to know you're getting divorced without telling him, next time he wanders into your work area, leave an "email" up on your computer screen about your divorce being filed or something like that. Or you could kind of leave the papers out on your desk or a book about "Surviving Divorce." :p

He'll see it even if he pretends he didn't. 😉

After that, I don't know.
Never dated a Virgo guy.

Good luck. 🙂

leo/virgo75- that's sooo true. I use several different computer programs/systems at work and he's our computer guy so when glitches occur (as they often do -lucky for me) he ends up sitting at my desk. He often asks me questions about things based on info he's gleaned from my desktop (papers, stickers, pumpkins, business card holders you name it). I've also noticed him looking at my wedding ring finger on a few occasions, but he has never asked me anything. I wish he's be nosey about that one!

I'm guessing if you leave out a book or leave an email/paper showing about your divorce he might ask.

A book might be easier to ask about, "Aww, who's going through a divorce?" 😛

I know I'd ask.. 😉

Word travels pretty fast in my office so I'll see how it goes. Since the divorce should have happened at least a year ago, a book is not necessary and would be a fake prop. I'm doing quite well and have shed all the tears and expressed all the anger. I just wish I had done it sooner. I turn 40 on Dec 8 and I'm sure someone will mention something over cake (like, "wow a lot of big changes in your life...") I work with some chatty folks, I just hope someone comes through for me on this -on their own- (the person who does gets a special prize to be announced later) since I have not mentioned my feelings to anyone at work - and won't, unless anything ever happens between us and he was ok with it. I'm good with privacy; respect it immensely. I may be outgoing Sag, but I love a good secret and some mystery. >🙂

I hope it's the best phase cause the first 40 years have been bumpy, to say the least. I dont know if this is true for all Sags but I tend to learn most things the hard way. Trial and Error.