Why would a Virgo start to love then pull away?

I met this Virgo man seven months ago and he would always pay a lot of attention to my children (and he still does even now). I thought that was strange because he would not show me any attention at all. It was like I wasn't even there. He said he just wanted to be friends, so I didn't pursue it any further. He always asked my children personal questions he wanted to know about me (like am I seeing anyone, have I ever been married or divorced, etc). His mother did the same thing, too. She questioned my children whenever they were over her house. I knew then that he cared, but he wouldn't show me any of that. If I tried to get close by asking touching him or asking for a hug, his response was "he didn't want to mess things up". We started having misunderstandings and arguments, but we would always find our way past that (or at least I thought so, btw I'm a Pisces woman). During one of our spats, he made a comment that if we were married, we would already be divorced. That shocked me since I didn't even know we were headed towards a relationship. Since then he has made more comments about marriage, but they were all negative. My children have grown attached to him and I care about him also, but I am afraid that since he doesn't show any signs of affection, sexual awareness, or physical touching, how can we even start to begin to see into the future. I feel that he is also dating other women, too. Can anyone give me some helpful advice?

HI tuf-2-luv - Alana here.
Before I get to the nuts and bolts of your story, let me first say that virgos adore children.....they almost see them a little adults that they love to tease, boss and play with so I am not surprised that your virgo guy and your kids have become attached. I've a virgo b.friend and when he's sees my son, I am almost forgotten...I am not in the picture!!!! so don't take that aspect too much to heart!!

Second thing.....I am with my Mister Virgo for a year and four months now.....he is the most frustrating, opinionated, black and white (no gray areas), argumentative, stubborn man I have ever known in my life - (if anyone else went on like him, I'd say they were a bit nutty) - but I am totally in love and addicted to him now - and that's on a good day!!!! Virgos are so so hard work sometimes.....

Now to you..........."doesn't want to mess things up"....that's a bit strange......so even a hug is gonna damage him or he may need counselling for it!!! Come on!!!!

I find honesty is the best way forward with virgos....if you ask them a straight question...they will answer honestly on the spot...they won't huff or puff..it will be from the heart.

So if you are up to it say, something along the lines of....Mr. Virgo - do you find me attractive? I've a funny feeling that he is going to tell you - yes you are. Then say - Mr. Virgo....do you find me sexy? Again he's gonna say yes. Mr. Virgo - would you like to go to bed with me? What man can resist a question like that?

if he says no, then's there's something amiss with him, not you......!!!!

As for him dating other women, maybe yes, maybe no - but that's not really the issue - well there's one sure way to get him interested.....if you become "slightly unavailable" to him yourself....next time he calls to come over...you say you are just heading out for a date with whoever.....or when he's there, get a friend to ring (pretendies) and you sweet-talk as if you are talking to an intimate guy....virgos hate to think that they are missing out on something with.
Also what you got to remember is that Virgos and so fussy, and critical and perfectionists.....they have a small circle of friends.......for him to have chosen you to be in his life at all!!!! says something.....you must be nearly dam perfect:-) They are so choosy with who they want to be with - you wouldn't be there in his if you he wasn't interested!!!!!

Just awaken that sexuality beast in him and get ready for the ride of your life!!!!!:-)

Good luck my pal.

Hi Alana,

Thanx for responding. This is the first time I have ever had to deal with a male Virgo and yes, I agree, they are truly stubborn, opinionated, fussy, extremely criticizing, and just plain weird.

I have played the "mind games" like having a friend on the phone and pretending she's a man. He went beserk, stormed out the door, told his mother that I was talking to a man and wouldn't get off the phone to be with him. That got me in trouble with mom. He is a spoiled brat. I've even gone so far as to not see him as often or not call him except one a week. I don't see any changes. He sounds excited to hear from me, but the conversation doesn't last long.

When we go out, it's a family thing. He brings his brother, uncle, and cousin along, so I bring my kids. It's never been one on one. He's even attempted to bring his friends (luckily they weren't available that day).

He told me he was hurt in his last relationship and I have given him more than enough room to breathe, but sometimes I feel likes he's a broken down car with only two gears...forward and reverse. One minute he's moving forward, then the next he's going in reverse. I am glad he's chosen to have me and my kids in his life because my children me the world to me and they really relate to him as though they have always known him.

I know he has some sexualness in him. Sometimes when we are alone, he will pull his shirt down over his pants as though he is hiding something and he doesn't want me to know he's gotten aroused. It's pretty obvious at that point. When I hug him around his neck, he calls the kids into the room and tells them to get me because I'm "squeezing" him. When I asked for a kiss, he said no, because it wasn't time and he respects me too much. I was a little upset after that one and he realized it and left (he leaves when I get mad). The next day, he had this huge grin on his face and laughing saying that I was really mad. (See...weird).

How long does it take before Virgo's open up completely. He has some deep seeded fears and I don't know what else to do to pry them off of him. How long did it take for you Virgo man to arrive? I'm open to more suggestions.

Cya

He might be some kind of pervert child moslester.

Are there any warning signs that a person is a pervert or child molester? Other than touching or looking at them funny?

My children don't show any signs of being afraid of him and they do know to tell me if somebody touches them the wrong way.

I really hope that isn't it, because he has a special place in our hearts.

check it out with your local police, there is a web site for child molesters with names and address in your area. I am not sayiong he is but best to check,

Hi tuf2luv....how you doin kid!!??
Well, I have to say the thought about the pervert did cross my mind on the first reading of your account of things but I dismissed it from my mind immediately (being aquarius I just want to think fluffy, happy thoughts!)......maybe I should have said it straight away to you.....but we have people like JT here who are on the ball and shoot straight from the hip.
However, for the moment, let's say, that's not the case at all - you will just have to delve a little deeper with your kids on that one and put your mind at rest.
But lets just say we are dealing with a classic virgo male for the moment -
Mammy seems to feature way too much for my liking in his life for starts!!!! So we gonna have to get rid of her from the equation somehow!!! Shoot her, throttle her, hire a gun-man!!! - I jest....but at the mention of Mommie, I'd cut him to the core and say, come on - you ain't a baby - get your act together without your mom!!! "get your act together" is a phrase that seems to work on virgos I've learnt!!They don't like it coz they think their "act" is perfect so they get a reality awakening when someone questions or challenges that area!

How long does it take a virgo to come round!!! Well my virgo is probably slighlty different than most - he's got a scorpio rising and falling which makes him SO SO passionate - others may not be like this at all.....butI talked with a girlfriend of mine at weekend and she was so upset with her virgo guy....after weeks of being apart...when they did meet up, he didn't even kiss her or talk to her, hold her hand etc. but he's supposed to love her!!!!

Another thing I have learnt is that virgos hate dramas and drama-queens.....they like to keep everything low-key and on an even keel, like themselves!!! BUT here lies the secret, they are also secretly blown away when there is a drama, they are intrigued and attracted by the explosion of emotions - it knocks them for six.....they go real quiet and distanced and reserved...but their minds are on overdrive trying to fathom how to handle the drama-queen - so if you can "manufacture" a drama with some love-bits thrown in - like saying that you have a heavy date but would prefer to spend it with Mr. Virgo....hufff and pufff, put him on the spot..ask him does he want you to go— Bang a few doors, throw your hands in the air, give him a shove or a push....could work wonders!!!!

As for him laughing at you getting mad over hugs and kiss and a big grin the next day.....typical!!!!! The more you get up to 90 - the more they love it....they love to pull your leg and have you believing all sorts....on one occasion my Mr. virgo told me that he had auditioned to be in a porn movie and had been accepted!!!......I laughted in the beginning....he persuaded me for over an hour....had me up to 90, I swore I was leaving him etc. etc. I actually ended up crying......he was grinning all the time......

I don't really know what else to advise.....this guy seems a hard nut to crack indeed - all I can advise is speak well (don't use bad language) and eloquently, dress classily (not sloppy or sexy) - they hate that look....and if all else fails...when he puts his shirt over his trousers to hide his (you know what) - pull it up jokingly and say - oh my God, what a big boy:-)!!!!
Good luck L
Ax

Hi Alana,

Well, I'm still trying to crack this "NUT" and I am down to the nubs. We had a discussion recently that blew me away. He let me know that he is seeing other women. That much I suspected. He had a scary situation where someone tried to take his car and when I told him I was worried about him, he interrupted me by saying there was this other girl that was also so worried about him, she worked for the police dept., and that she registered his car under her name as though he was her husband. Then added when he doesn't come home, he's over at her house. He was so convincing and if he hadn't moved when he did, he might have gotten slapped. I think he said that to get back at me because I am trying to join the police force and I didn't tell him...his cousin found out and told him. Devious, just plain devious.

When I asked did he like me, he told me he cared a lot about me and my kids and that we should already know that. I asked how would we know if he doesn't say anything and he instantly became the drama king saying "By all of the things I do...what am I supposed to do... write it down?" Yeah, why not?

He was sitting at the computer and I walked out of the room for 2 min. When I came back, I touched him lightly on his shoulder and I mean, that Virgo, jumped out of his skin and probably out of his sign. I couldn't help but laugh because he started sweating then he says he thought I left the room. Geez...what was on his mind?

He told me how much he is devoted to his family, especially his sister. He said if he had a girlfriend, she would have to understand how important his sister is and if she called him for anything, he would have leave at the drop of a hat and go to her. He still lives at home with his parents.

Now mom, on the other hand, spills the beans so we may want to keep her around just a little bit longer. She told me that he has had a LOT of girlfriends and out of all of them, she only liked ONE. That was the one she was encouraging him to marry. Supposedly that was going to happen, but something went wrong. She also told me how he likes to make people mad and push their buttons just so he can see their reactions. He's been pushing buttons I didn't even know I had. Also, mom added how he only stays with a woman for up to 6 months and then dumps them. He never goes past that time limit.

The same time she told me this she also added how much she liked me. He admitted how much his mom has been on him to get married. This would explain why he tries to stay away for hours on end, day to day, working from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., not having time for anything except his buddies.

The only time our conversation is intense is when he needs something for his car and he can't get it at the moment. He will call me at least 10 times a day until he reaches me and ask me to get it for him. Any other time, I barely hear from him, but yet he cares so much. Go figure.

My friend is telling me that he probably has problems being sensual, intimate, and showing any signs of love because of several reasons. He may have a small member and he's ashamed of it, or the women he dates...he knows he's only going to be with them a short time and he doesn't need to show them any emotions. She feels he's run into me, his mom likes me, he likes me, but he's scared and he's doing everything but the right thing to let me know. Well, I'm sure this roller coaster ride ain't completely over with just yet. So until the next loop....

Cya,
Tuffie

Well, my last roller coaster loop happened a lot sooner than I thought, so now I am suffering not only from a broken heart, but also whiplash. That egotistical male Virgo called me saying he needed a huge favor. He needed someone to drive 30 miles to pick up a tire. Not just any tire, but one of those special made tires. He said he had the money, but he couldn't go get it since his boss was out of town for the week and he was pulling double shifts.

I felt sorry for him since he sounded so sincere. I went and picked up the tire, but he was short $ 10.00. Yep, I added in the rest, got the tire and went home. He picked it up a few hours later, but what stunned me was when he said "I tried to get my girlfriend to go pick it up, but she was afraid of getting lost and since you knew where the tire place was, I figured you wouldn't mind going down there for me." (I knew where the tire place was because I had bought two tires for him already that cost me a total of $ 420.00 and I have not seen any of that money yet).

Words cannot even begin to describe how I felt. Emotions came and went so fast, I knew I was on a roller coaster for sure and it had just abruptly stopped. I asked when did he get a girlfriend and he blatantly said he had been thinking about getting back with his ex for some time now and he and her actually hooked back up several months ago. I asked why didn't he tell me and he said "I told you. Remember when I said if I don't come home, I'm with her." I reminded him that he was talking about the police woman then he decides to correct my hearing and say that he wasn't talking about that one.

He acted like that news should not have affected me in any way because he was smiling like it was thing to do. I didn't give him any kind of emotion what-so-ever because I was in complete shock. How can men play with your emotions the way they do? Lead you on, make you believe things are okay, and then pull the rug out from under you.

To top it off, he asks me "Oh, how much do I owe you for the tire?" He knew he didn't give me enough money, so I guess he wanted to see if he could make a sucker out of me again. And he did. Then he says he'll pay me $ 30 next week, which is for my gas and my time. Then tells my kids that he'll rent them some videos anytime they want.

I was truly vulnerable with this one. All the signs were probably there and I just couldn't see them in time. It has been a real experience and I hope it comes back to him 10x worse.

Tuffie

Oh my poor tuf2luv...so sorry to hear the escapades of police-women!!, ex-es, broken tires, owed money!!!, incesutous! devotion to sister, stuck at the hip to mommmy!!!! and you my sweety I know have been real hurt the way he has talked and treated you......but don't hang your head in shame or beat yourself up too much...virgos have a knack of asking the impossible of you and you just do it....anyone else and you would say hey get lost or whatever but when they ask you a favour with their sincere voice and eyes....you just do it, no matter how nutty it might seem.

However, now it's time to go into your "cookiemonster" zone for a while anyway, if you can....make yourself simply not available to him when he calls etc....don't answer the phone - just don't be there for him.....

To be honest I don't believe his police-woman story or his ex story....(they can make up fantastic stories, esp. about their conquests....) - can you imagine any police-woman in her right mind being with your Mr. Virgo as he is just now...but then agian maybe she is - stuff 'em both for the moment anyway......

As for your friend's theory that he's small and not great in bed....nah!! I know three and they are all lethal weapons in bed!!!! It's probably with his childish ways that no-one sticks around after the six-month mark!!! and could you blame them!!! Maybe he's impossibly good-looking!!! and that's what gets them hooked at the start and you likewise—

I'm not talking and refuse to ring my mr. Virgo at the moment - big bust-up on Sunday and he flat-lined (i.e. hung up!!) me yesterday when I rang .....so I will never go chasing after him again.....he can wait till the cow jumps over the moon, before I will ever ring him again......no-one and I mean NO-one treats this lady like that:-)
A x

Hi Alana,

I'm sorry to hear that you and your Mr. Virgo had a lover's spat. It sounds like both of you just need to take a little time to let things cool off before talking to each other again. Yes, you will talk to him again...and real soon.

He knows deep down inside that it wasn't right for him to flatline you and it's likely due to him being afraid that he was going to hear something he didn't want to hear or couldn't accept. I have learned that much from Virgos. If they are afraid and expect the slightest bit of bad news...they run very quickly to the nearest sand pile to do their "ostrich" thing and stick their heads in the dirt.

I can tell you are hurt by all of this, but look at how much time, love, and patience you have invested in this relationship...a year and four months. You yourself must be perfect in order to hold onto a Virgo for even that length of time...and he knows it,too. Time is the best healing medicine of all time, regardless of the situation. It erases hurt, pain, tension, stress, heartaches, arguements, you name it.

You know it takes a lot of patience and understanding to deal with a Virgo. I'm also having a hard time believing my Virgo and the story of the police woman. He said it just way too calmly and didn't look at me either. I let him have the satisfaction of thinking that he got that one across without any hitches.

As for the ex...that one might be possible. They broke up last year and as it turns out, they have a continuous history of make ups and break ups. Well, I got the likely surprise of meeting his ex at his sister's baby shower several months ago because he brought her and her kid (not his...at least that's what they say). I was even more surprised at how he looked. His goatee was even trimmed in some kind of design. Was this for show or was this to let me know that she was the woman in his life? He introduced her as "a real good friend", but later admitted that she was the ex and supposedly she had a boyfriend. He would say something like that to throw me off the trail.

She did her "ex-thing", eyeballing me when I wasn't supposed to be looking, but women know women, all too well. I already had a feeling who she was and what she wanted...again. I left minutes after they arrived because I felt uncomfortable. He was mad at me because I left and didn't say goodbye. I let him know I didn't appreciate him doing that to me and I didn't like her eyeballing me. He called her and asked did she do it and she said she didn't (of course she would say that). He called me back saying she was sorry, but she was trying to be as polite as she could and that she even told us goodbye. How the hell could she say goodbye when she didn't know we were leaving? Why invite me if he knew he was bringing her?

Since that event, me and Mr. Virgo have not been as close as we were. I still feel this strange connection to him and I really don't know why. But I am really scared to let him any closer, at least to me. My kids still enjoy his company.

I have been "unavailable" since last week and he has been doing strange things. I have been looking more "radiant" lately and he has questioned why, but I haven't given him an answer he wants to hear. When he looks at me, he frowns and I can see the "questions" running through his mind (is she seeing someone, why is she looking different, where is she going).

He called the house the other day thinking my children were at home. He left a voice message asking the kids to pick up the phone. Nobody was home. Later, he said he called because he wanted the kids to call him on his cell phone because he couldn't find it. Now how silly is that? Why couldn't he just call his cell phone himself? Simple...he wanted to question my kids on my recent change of behavior.

When he wants to know something, he asks the kids. He even took my kids for "a ride" just to ask them if I was seeing someone. The kid

Hey, T2luv, thanks for all the advice and soothing words on Mr. Virgo.....the spat had to do with him not ringing me on time for us to meet (or ringing too late in the evening)...he knows I have to organize a baby-sitter by a certain time but he chose to play billiards with his friends...anyway, when I rang him on Tuesday and he asked what he had done wrong and why I hadn't answered him all Sunday evening...I replied I don't fu.kin wait round for three hours for anybody to call me!!! He just said OK then, and hung-up!!!! No word at all from him since.....but as I say, I'll have to wait till hell freezes over before I will ring again and he knows this!!! I'll keep you posted!!! As for me being prefect to keep him, hey you are so right...I am perfection personified!!!:-) I jest, I jest, I jest...attractive on a good day I suppose so but certainly no super-model! nor do I want to be......I wil keep my chin up as you advice and just play the waiting game. As Freebird says, no contact from the female makes the male crazy:-)

So you seen your Mr. virgo's ex!!!! Well, on the scale of 10, what was she like?? Are you points ahead!!!?? Oh we are such vain creatures aren't we:-)!! Hey, you say you are looking more radiant than ever...that will sure get him thinking!!!! and keep being slightly unavailalbe.....hey for the hell of it, why not say you've a date with a policeman...see how he takes that one on the chin or the goatee!!! or whatever!!! By the way, how old is he and what does he look like?
A x

Mr. Virgo is a 29 year old, 5'9" tall gorgeous hunk of man with creamy butter complexion, chocolate glazed brown eyes, soothing, delicate, and delicious ruby red lips, with a firm, edible ass. That pretty much sums him up. Yes, his looks get him what he wants...anytime, anyplace, anywhere, and unfortunately anyone.

I thought my last ride was over..duh...I don't think so. The roller coaster had just made a brief and momentary pitstop, unlatched the other cars, (so there wouldn't be a loud crash on the way down) and gave me just enough time for a quick breather before we took the plunge...straight down into truthville.

The plunge...oh my god...I wasn't expecting this. Mr. Virgo has found someone who was willing to buy him a car. He had to brag about it and show it off. He admitted that he is a materialistic person and he has high maintenance needs. He wants to find a "perfect" woman who not only takes care of her kids (he doesn't want any kids) and who will take care of him as well. He says single women are the better targets because they long to have someone around...even if it is for 3-6 months, but if they want to keep a man around longer, they will give that man anything he wants.

He is not going to settle down because he is still young and then proceeds to tell me how many people there are in the world that are looking for love and when he runs into them, he is able to get the things he needs in life, even if it is for a brief time (that's obviously where the 6 months milestone ends).

We had our 6 months, but he found out that it was not going to be as easy as he thought it would be to take advantage of me, and get a car, or even a house, so he decided it was time to move on. He said he told me about all the women because he hoped I would get frustrated and leave so he wouldn't have to be the "bad" guy and tell me to take a hike.

He says he is looking for the next person now so he can get a house. They don't have to buy it, they can just put his name on the deed so he can be part owner.

The real shocker came when he confessed that he does have sexual relationships with women...and he also has sexual relationships with men, too. I truly wasn't expecting that one. He likes them (men and women) younger than him because it gives him more of a controlling position in the relationship. He manipulates them and they go along thinking he's sincere..and he does have the most perfect model smile that can melt your heart and your wallet.

He says he has also been known to go after the older ones, too, that are at least 20-30 years older than him. Those are the ones he considers "professional" because he only aims at high profiled figures in that age bracket.

He says since he looks so good, he gets a lot of women (young girls especially) that have some kind of income...he doesn't discriminate (race or income) and he gets as much as he can from as many as he can within a short amount of time. As for the men, he says there are a lot of men out there that are "in the closet", so since they don't want to be exposed, they too, give him what he wants.

I was blown away completely. I guess now I feel like I'm the lucky one, because I didn't give him as much as he can get from someone. I'm glad we didn't get to experience each other sexually, because it could have been my last time (he doesn't use protection...so therefore, he can be a carrier as well as a spreader for any kind of disease).

I'm all cried out, squeezed out, and look like a wrinkled prune. Oh, and on the jealousy woman's richter scale of 1 to 10, the "female" ex I saw, rates about an 8. I pray all is well for you and that you never have to experience anything like this. I think I am ready to give up on men altogether.

The only bright side to my day was when I went to Walmart earlier in the day. I had parked my car and was on the way into the store when this lady stops her car right by

We all get email by the dozens when we are at work, but this one in particular really hit home with me and I want to share it with everyone.


A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime.

When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are!

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real!

But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life.

Tuf2luv

Dearest Tuf2luv~

OMG>>>>>>> I was sitting on the edge of my chair reading your story, luv! What are you waiting for? WRITE IT. Why not? Your story is a very powerful one with a strong message to share.

Not all guys out there are what they seem to be. I know this all too well as I was in a situation almost the same as yours. Somehow, they with their charm, find a way into our heart and soul and we then...lower our walls to let them in, slowly and trustingly. Things begin to happen with this person that causes us to "wonder"...here is really a RED FLAG waving at us but, for some reason we choose not to see that red flag (for now anyway). What then happens is more RED FLAGS come our way and we are not sure because we really care for this person so we "justify" their actions to keep them in our lives as they have "touched" our inner being. We don't want to loose that feeling so we learn to tolerate their actions and we dishonor our own and ourselves. Here for me was the real pain...I dishonored ME, the most important person in the world (to myself) and allowed another person who didn't honor me to be a part of my life. That is where my hurt ultimately originates.

Luv, as I said above, I have been through almost the same experience...yes, painful, confusing, lost feeling, mis~trust, betrayal, lying, heck....let's just say a very wide field of emotions were felt. He was a controlling person and everything had to be his way...well, I am a very strong woman and I had a tendency to speak my mind and do my thing...this became a challenge to him and thus, a game had begun. I learned not to react to him (frustrated the dickens out of him), didn't take his calls (had him scattering all over to find me), kept my calm through his storms, (bewildered him), used my sarcastic wit when I needed to (threw him off track), acted like he was no big deal and I could take or leave him (ego/pride very bruised, (they haven't made a band~aid for that one yet), I've called him on his words not matching his actions but in a very nice way and then I disappear. I realized the more we focus on a person, event, attitude the more energy we give to that experience and it depletes our energy keeping us from living in the moment and moving on. This might be called using "emotional detachment"....this is what I learned from my Mr. who appeared to teach me a lesson and he learned about how to "feel" life from me when I appeared in his life. I look back and I am so glad that I trusted my instincts on so many things because I could have been hurt even more had I not. My inner guidence system sure is in top form and working at top speed, thank goodness!

During one of our discombobulated discussions, he said to me that he regreted he had never kissed or met me and wished it had never happened. (he obviously is deeply hurt) I had told him that I was very grateful for meeting him and experiencing this whole relationship as I learned so much about him, myself and life....I have no regrets at all. He replied with, well I guess you can look at it any way you want to. And, yes I can! So, my luv friend, we have taken our soul on a journey not knowing the outcome...had we known, we wouldn't have learned the lesson and to learn a lesson one must experience it. We really have so much to be grateful for don't we?

Thank you for sharing your story luv and the above post. So true, so true.

Freebird

ooops...that should say, that he regreted he had EVER kissed and met me. I'm sure you knew what I meant....

Poor tuf2love...I come in to work today expecting to read up on some maybe nice developments since last weekend for you and I read your "truthville story" and I am shocked and dismayed for you. Perhaps I am not "too shocked!!" (as I've my own skeletons in the cupboard about a certain man I was with who turned out to be gay but won't go into that now).

Prune-faced....I don't think so!!....all cried out....naturally.....I wonder even after he has told you all this, after a few days when your fire and hurt have cooled down...do you still have feelings for him?

Freebird has eloqunhtly expressed things as they are for you and her.

Write that book honey...it will be a best-seller!!! Wrap your arms round yourself and considered yourself hugged by all of us here.......

As for Mr. Virgo.......life will teach him a few lessons soon about using so many people for materialism, sex and basically pure unbridled selfishness........every dog has its day.....he's having his at the moment.....but every dog loses his juiciest bone too!!!........he's lost beautiful you for one thing...I think his dog days are numbered:-)

I am at a loss for words....for once!!! you look after yourself for now...make you the centre of your universe...indulge in everything that makes your heart sing:-) - and another beautiful lover will soon walk into your life....unannounced and you will wonder......what the hell did I see in Mr. Virgo.....(no, you will never forget him in all your life....but life will be sweeter without that loo-lah in it playing games with your heart....
Ax

Umm, you claim to be over him yet you spend 99% of your posts talking about him. Why is that?

Sometimes Getalifeman we need to vent our feelings and thougths to work through the process of letting go. I also think that sometimes we "think" we are through but we really are not....

Personally for me there are some relationships I can just let go of and move on with no thoughts of the other person (hmmmm now what does that say? that perhaps my lesson was achieved? they really didn't effect me much or letting go is easy for me) Then, there are other relationships that one is not ready to "let go" of because maybe the lesson is not finished yet or there is no need to let go because the two people can remain friends...this too has happened with me.

Who knows...the more I think I know the more I realize that I don't know...and then it amazes me how I know what I know when i know it.....Life has no set pattern. It just IS.

I don't mean to be mean, but I've been scoping this board (and I like it) for a while. To me this dude gives off this weird vibe, that he actually revels in pointing out his man's coldness and meaness to his "utter tenderness and sensitivity". He just comes here looking for a pity party. And it sorta irks me. To top it off, he passess it off as a "sign thing". Cheaters and a-holes come in every sign, BAD CHOICES are sign blind!

Hi everyone,

I'm back (so to say). Had to take a little breather and let the emotions run their natural course.

Freebird:
I agree with you completely that ALL men portray themselves as something they are not and once the smart women blow their covers, their revert to something extremely unthinkable, unimaginable, and just plain dumb. Yes, we lower our walls and eventually love and trust them and they know this. They absorb all of that energy only to use it against us at our weakest moments. The moment love has either crept in or it's on it's way in.

Those red flags are constantly waving so heavily and continually until we start seeing rainbows, but by then we're thinking, "well, maybe it's just me..." and by then it's already too late because time has crept up, slapped us in the butt with a wet rolled up towel and said "duh, wake up...you've gotten all of the signs and you still ignore what's right dead smack in your face."

We continue like soldiers even knowing we may fail, but we can't resist the temptation of..."what if?" Keep your head up because all of these "lessons in love" eventually pay off in the end and the real crown jewel is revealed.

Alana:
I too wish I could have given you a much more grander episode. I wasn't expecting that kind of "episode" to come at me blazing like a raging bull in heat.

Yes, I have had time to think (way too much time), cooled down, and let my emotions go where they may...and to answer your question...yes, I do still care about him. More than I truly care to admit. I know I shouldn't, but that "something" feeling that we can't ever explain is lingering inside of me and it's not leaving.

I have a friend who never seems to see the "bad" side of people and she continues to tell me how he could have been lying to save how he was really feeling about me. She says good things about him that I can't believe. She talks to him daily (they work in the same building) and he tells her a lot of things that he wouldn't necessarily tell me and the one good thing (which may and may not be good thing...you know, the friend drama...when your best friend winds up dating your man or ex and all hell breaks loose, fighting, threesomes, you name it) is that he doesn't know she's my best friend.

I thought this was over between us the minute he said all of that, but my friend told me how depressed he was one day (the day after the main event) and he told her that he had "kind of" broken up with somebody that he liked a lot and had hoped to one day marry. She asked him who was the girl and he said my name.

She says he has been talking about me all week and that he wants to stay with me but he's scared I will treat him like his last girlfriend and mess around with somebody else. She told him to give it another try and just be himself. I think he's taking her advice because my children told me that he saw them walking home from the store the other day, picked them up, and gave them a ride home. The kids said it was like he was trying to get "back in the habit" of being around them again.

Looks as though my roller coaster ride doesn't want to end. Actually...do I really want it to end? Normally, I don't have a problem dropping unwanted, lying, cheating, manipulating dead beats that have not even scratched the surface of my heart, but this man actually shot a heated smile at the ice casing surrounding what once was my loving heart and the ice cage has been melting ever since. Just seeing my children respond to him and his kindness created icy shavings down my shirt (no wonder I had a hard time staying warm).

Cancerbuddy:
Yes, I am completely confused and still hurt right now, because I can't understand what is holding this man to me and my children. I didn't ask Mr. Virgo to stay around, yet I am seeing him more and more around the neighoborhood. Fate has always played some weird and strange jokes on my and my

Hi Tuf2Luv....so glad to hear that you are still bobbing along!, despite all the drama that happened in your world because of Mr. Virgo and his "life experiences".....and I am not in the least bit surprised that although you were so hurt and all cried out and emotioanlly and physically drained after it, that yes....you still have feelings....for Mr. Virgo....stronger than you care to admit.

So now, you can choose to put on your rosy-colored glasses or your reality glasses....so which one are you going to choose— Perhaps what he said is a load of bull..sh.it......it sounds like something from a Walter Mitty Novel to me...Walter Mitty gone A.W.O.L.!!!!

What he said to the friend is interesting too.....isn't it? Are you 110% that she is telling you everything as he said it...I am not trying to be the devils advocate..but friends can sometimes say things to friends to try make them feel better about guys...I know I have done this now and again to my friends when they were real upset in the past....

But back to the glasses....well you know this guy warts and all and I get the feeling that you still want him somehow involved in your life......so why not put on those glasses again but only now with one eye rosy-colored and make sure the other eye glass is reality-tinted!!! I am not sure but I think you are piscean....pisceans are sensitive souls at tthe best of times....so put on your bullet-proof heart armour and "toughen up" a little in regards to Mister Virgo...next time you get talking.....I'd just say to him....you're full of f...kin bullsh.it.....who exactly do you think you are!!! Ok so, you may be attractive....but I certainly am too - they guys are lining up for me!!! I don't want to hear any more of your stupid stories........fite fire with fire...be a bit aggressive.......

The just who do you think you are!! line....ususally works with virgos - as they always think they look perfect and beautiful and that the whole world thinks this too....they get knocked off their perch when they hear these words....(anyway that's what I use to put my Mr. V. in his place when he becomes to big-headed and chickeny....(OK, so he may look like a greek adonis..but no way under the sun will I let him know that::::-)

Keep smiling and learning and loving Tuf.

Alana x

Criticizing or no, it stil dosn't change the fact that a-holes come in every sign, and bad choices are sign-blind.

Happy New Year. Well, I'm back. I know it's been awhile, a rather lengthy "timeout", but being the true to life Pisces that I am, I needed to "hide" my feelings for awhile and give them a break from Mr. Virgo.

My friend was telling me a lot of things about what Mr. Virgo was telling her at work. He couldn't understand why I was avoiding him. He felt that he hadn't done anything wrong since he never promised me "the world". We were friends on our way to what could have been...but there was a detour in the road. He feels that we should both be able to laugh about this and continue with our lives.

He still wants to be a part of my children's lives whenever he feels like it. My children don't mind that he isn't around as much as he used to be and they also don't seem to mind if he pops in every now and again, but I do. That's sending mixed messages again especially if he starts to come around me acting like he wants to be together, but then he's not sure. He even bought them Christmas presents...and what did I get for Christmas, you may be asking? He didn't give me a d*mn thing. Not even a Christmas card.

But payback is quite delicious when you are on the outside looking in. My sweet revenge came Thanksgiving Day. It seems the woman or man...(don't know which one just yet)he is now seeing must have given him pure devilish hell, because he was at my door pouting and whining about how he was on a desperate search to obtain certain "sad love songs" and he was even willing to pay me if I had them on CD somewhere.

I ran in the bathroom pretending to take a shower, while telling my kids to tell him I wasn't available. He insisted on coming in anyway. He's standing at the bathroom door sounding like such a sweet, adorable little a**hole begging to search through my CD collection, so he can hear these songs. I yelled out, "Not now, hon, I'm expecting company any minute. Maybe tomorrow." The kids said he was so HOT and he looked like he wanted to kick the door in, but he said, "Never mind", and left. Oh, how sweet that was.

He's been paying me back for that moment, too. He's been coming around daily or every other day with a lot of different girls. I know it's an attempt to make me jealous, but I won't give him the satisfaction. I'd rather see him get jealous, so what do I do when I hear he's around the corner or on his way? I grab one of the young fellas around the neighborhood that's much YOUNGER than he is and flirt with him. He'll come by and give me this UGLY stare that I swear could penetrate and bend metal (yeah exactly, that Superman stare). Once he's had an eyeful, he leaves and comes back later without his "escort".

It's now the new year. Do I still want to continue going on this way? After my long hiatus, I don't think so. If Mr. Virgo feels more secure with a lot of women, then I have to let him play his games without me. I haven't been involved in a real good relationship for awhile and when my feelings get involved...they run real deep. I'm praying for a decent one next time. So until the next episode.

Tuffie

Tuffy, Glad to see your so upbeat and so "past" that Virgo guy and hope you'll soon find the man of your dreams. See he's still playing his silly games......what a plonker:-)!!!

As for me, "I'm in a James Tate frame of mind"!!! as Billy Joel might sing...if he was in NY!!! i.e. fcuked off with life and the world and that fckin friggin virgo guy I was with for the last year and a half!!!.......it's funny how one day you can love someone, think they are the love of your life and the next.....everything good is gone....I won't go into it now (tell you later when I have more time).....my heart is low and bitter today....(I don't like the bitter bit but that's the way I feel at the moment.....He's not back from Greece yet (went away on holiday back home for the Christmas period) - will be home next week...he's coming home thinking everything is hunky dory with me and him but he hurt me so much before he went - there's no going back....I am going to get my revenge, I'm going to fcuk him left right and centre and walk away, head held high!!!

Sorry for all this negativity.....I'm not myself....today the day has me...hopefully tomorrow I will have the day.

Alana x

Alana I am strangly attracted to you I like people who have a killing in mind. I seek no revenge myself, The only wish I have is that the baby is not mine I do not want to spend the next twenty years dealing with her.

Oh Jamesy Jamesy...lets get together and fcuk our minds out till we go numb together......no hard feelings....no feelings at all....as Feargal Sharkey sings!!!!

Despite how we are feeling though - as for the babe.....lets wish her the very best that can possibly happen to her in this world.....she's an innocent, a beauty, a shiny happy little person...funny how I keep calling her a she..and we don't know yet what sex it will be ..... trust me, it's gonna be a girl.