Posted by LonLon
@NZAqua when you say messing with me what do you mean? Like stringing me along? Ya I was thinking the dumping things..lol..just cut off..Virgos will do that to..but I know he will chase..he use to do that when we use to work for the same office..but my cross road is this..if I do that..and if HE DOSE chase..do I want a person who just dont want to change? He told me a while back I need to accept people for who they are and not what I want them to be. I just dont understand somethings..he is kinda a control freak. I asked him if I was so much trouble..and this and that..why do you love me? Him..You havea beautiful heart. I just never met a man like him nor felt the connection we had with any man. But I dont know now if it is enough to keep ME intrested in him.
Posted by krysrenee7
I understand where you're coming from.
Only 1 question though...You say you are tired of him & that you guys aren't "dating." So um...what exactly are you guys doing—! You haven't been around for 3 years for nothing! You guys are way beyond the "friend" stage, not only b/c you two act as more than friends (verbally, physically & emotionally) but also b/c your expectations for eachother sound moreso like 2 people who are dating vs. just platonic friends.
He probably has a very deep love for you, but doesn't see you as someone he'd like to have as a companion. Him not making it official with you may not be b/c you've done anything wrong or turned him off. He may simply have intimacy issues. And if that's the case, he's acting exactly like a man (not just Aqua) who has committment issues. Men like this have alot of bark but no bite. They say alot of sweet things, but never really deliver, nor are they consistent.
I think it's safe to say that if you're still holding onto that 1% chance that you 2 will be together, you should probably just move on. 3 years is a long time to be in the "middle" with someone. If you're tired of this, what are you waiting for? If he's truly "just a friend" then you wouldn't feel any fear or worry that the friendship would end persay you left, moved on & found someone else.
There's something holding you back from walking away though. You've got 1 foot in the door & the other out. Sure, you may not be rushing/pressuring him at all, BUT you're still around & I get the feeling that if this guy told you he wanted to be with you, that you'd jump right on it. There's nothing wrong with that, BUT you've gotta be honest with yourself about what you want & why you're still sticking around.
Posted by NZAquaPosted by LonLon
@NZAqua when you say messing with me what do you mean? Like stringing me along? Ya I was thinking the dumping things..lol..just cut off..Virgos will do that to..but I know he will chase..he use to do that when we use to work for the same office..but my cross road is this..if I do that..and if HE DOSE chase..do I want a person who just dont want to change? He told me a while back I need to accept people for who they are and not what I want them to be. I just dont understand somethings..he is kinda a control freak. I asked him if I was so much trouble..and this and that..why do you love me? Him..You havea beautiful heart. I just never met a man like him nor felt the connection we had with any man. But I dont know now if it is enough to keep ME intrested in him.
Yep, i mean stringing you along.
If you dump him, and he does chase, tell him "I don't want the games, if you want me put both feet in because nobody likes a guy who hops from one to the other. Think about it and get back to me". See what happens.
Change the scenery, see where it gets you. Nothing changes...if nothing changes, right?
Aqua's can be control freaks - it's all about insecurity, as with anyone regardless of sign. Some are aggressive, some are passive-aggressive, some are just plain old scaredy cats. But we do LOVE people who have the guts to stand up and say "Hey, sort your shit out!".
People love security - you're entitled to that too 🙂click to expand
Posted by krysrenee7
@Lon: Well this is where your OWN self-loyalty comes in. You've been waiting around so long for him, almost as if you feared that if you left, you could've possibily missed out on something...as if he'd be all of the sudden "ready" the min. you were ready to walk away. That's NEVER how it really happens.
Stop worrying so much about him. What do YOU want? This is about you. You want committment. It's that simple & there's nothing wrong with that. That's what we're supposed to want & committment is what we're supposed to desire once we have feelings for someone. BUT if someone has shown AND told you that committment is a path/road they're NOT yet ready to take, then you must accept that.
Sounds like you haven't accepted that yet. Just b/c you're not technically verbally pressuring him to commit doesn't mean that he's still not getting the impression that committment is what you want from him. The mere fact that you're STILL around speaks more volumes to him than any verbal pressure/words you could ever say to him.
You're not being true to your own desires. You want committment but yet you're willing to settle for less all b/c you have feelings for him. This is the moment when they say, "What's love got to do with it?" You sticking around for 3 years hasn't changed him, so what makes you think that today or tomorrow or hell even 3+ years from now will change or do the trick? He is DEAD SERIOUS when he says that the idea of "US" is not where he wants to be right now. YOU just haven't accepted it yet.
You're trying to hold on to this superficial friendship with him b/c you'd rather have a piece of him vs. not having him at all. THAT'S why you're so confused. It's not b/c what he's saying is so complex, but moreso b/c you refuse to accept the loss & move on.
You know good & well that you can't be "just friends" with him b/c if you could, you wouldn't still be harping on the feelings you have for him. It's very difficult for people who have feelings for eachother to go back to being "just friends." Sure, it's possible, BUT in your case, this is the reason they say it usually doesn't work out.
Trust me, you'll actually feel LESS drained if you just walk away. Atleast for right now. Come back when you no longer have feelings for him, that way you can keep him in your life somehow w/o all the confusion/drain that comes with it. When you let go of your ex
Posted by aquagirl24Posted by LonLon
It is common for an Aqua man to string a woman along until they are ready to be in a relationship? Or is it just certain ones? I finally woke up to the Bull*** words spoken to me from this Aqua that I had been off and on with. I don't understand..I thought when an Aqua says they love you it is for real. But I think he was saying that to just keep me in his back pocket..
did u ask him to say so, or did he say it spontaneously? if he said it spontaneously, u can count on that. xxxclick to expand
Posted by dreamer23Posted by LonLon
Right@dreamer...I was thinking the samething about the private thing. I mean..He keeps coming at me with this vibe of him trying to trust me. I just dont get it..or undestand it. He is really big on perosnal space..but I think it is more fear. I am at the point I can be either with him or with out him*Space wise* I have learned to put my feelings and emotions up altogether. He kept stressing about me waiting for him? How he loves me and is thankful I am waiting? I am like waiting for—?And stressing he needs to me there for him. He said "I have not stepped out on you. I have no reason too. I am hear..I just dont like to be pushed"..When we did see each other he always quesitions me..What do you love about me? I know you dont understand me but just givre me time..I just dont understand. I guess I am bias because I feel after a certain age you need to know what you want. SMH..it is intresting.
^^^ This makes me think that he really does see this as a relationship, only his idea of a relationship and yours is totally different. He doesn't need the same level of commitment,comfort, and involvement in your life that you want/need from him. He loves you, wants you, but he is not ready to make you his all and all. When or if he ever will, who knows. And you have to ask yourself if you are willing to invest more time w/ this man.click to expand
Posted by aquagirl24Posted by LonLon
Also his medical issues I know of: He had prostate cancer but had to go through chemo for that, acid reflux,Diabetes and takes shots that I know of. So am not sure of anything eles.
wtf? this an aqua— we should be the healthiest lolz.click to expand
Posted by ThisAndThat
One would imagine that the person you love is the 1st person you let know when in hospital..
Why do you have to push for answers all the time? "what are we?Where are we going?"
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