cold sex

The aqua dude I'm seeing never kisses me, cuddles or sleeps in the same bed as me yet we have sex, he checks in on me numerous times every day, always cooks for me, buys me things, wants to help with things like my car... Our relationship is a year old. Very slow moving which is great. But I've never experienced sex without kisses or cuddles. He just acts very "normal" until out of nowhere he does something like pull my leggings down! Exciting but odd. Should I try to cuddle with him? :/ I've kisses him during sex before but it just didn't feel passionate it was one sided. This was last year.

I should also say it's not "cold sex" it's cold AFTER sex.

I don't know why every time I post it posts two times, nobody comment on this one! 😢

Aqua... guys... he wants to be to much of a man. He helps you with everything manly but... kissing and cuddling is girl stuff to him... It takes time for them to drop that front. Honestly takes quite some time... My Cuz is an Aqua and seems a little like this... They want to please and will be your friend even after a relationship but if he does not eventually open up you may want to kick him to the curb. Would you honestly marry or be with someone like that forever?

PM

Yeah, I think that's why he acts so serious around me. He loosens up when there's other people around but
Otherwise he's serious and manly. I really love watching his personality slowly unfold. And no I need soft, warm intimacy in my life. I wouldn't rush it but I just wonder if this is typical. Every thing else he has done for the past year is textbook aquarius guy stuff. Crazy how spot on and how much help astrology had been!

Posted by piscesmoon2
Aqua... guys... he wants to be to much of a man. He helps you with everything manly but... kissing and cuddling is girl stuff to him... It takes time for them to drop that front. Honestly takes quite some time... My Cuz is an Aqua and seems a little like this... They want to please and will be your friend even after a relationship but if he does not eventually open up you may want to kick him to the curb. Would you honestly marry or be with someone like that forever?

PM

Omg starlover, yes. Same. I figure he's just doing the aqua thing and protecting himself.. But it is strange!

Did he ever give in?

Posted by snickerdoodle
Omg starlover, yes. Same. I figure he's just doing the aqua thing and protecting himself.. But it is strange!

Yep...

PM

Detail: he grew up with his parents sleeping in separate rooms!

Posted by snickerdoodle
Detail: he grew up with his parents sleeping in separate rooms!

That's strange to read about the coldness the aqua I knew would stare into my eyes lol and kiss my forehead my cheeks lips etc lol

Posted by AquaMermaid

Posted by Tinxy

Posted by snickerdoodle
Detail: he grew up with his parents sleeping in separate rooms!

That's strange to read about the coldness the aqua I knew would stare into my eyes lol and kiss my forehead my cheeks lips etc lol

Ikr? Lol!

click to expand

Whts ikr ? Lol sorry not up to speed with lingo in here

Posted by AquaMermaid

Posted by Tinxy

Posted by AquaMermaid

Posted by Tinxy

Posted by snickerdoodle
Detail: he grew up with his parents sleeping in separate rooms!

That's strange to read about the coldness the aqua I knew would stare into my eyes lol and kiss my forehead my cheeks lips etc lol

Ikr? Lol!

Whts ikr ? Lol sorry not up to speed with lingo in here

You're adorb! Lol ikr = I know right

click to expand

Hahaha learn something new everyday _—

Hey aquamermaid can you do something please if it's ok could you go look at my topic on the relationships board it's titled "letter of apology " I'd love your thoughts on it
If you have time
Thank you _??_

^^I know right!? Seriously the shit people are willing to settle for in this day and age....

I can kinda understand wanting to sleep in separate beds I get nightmares if someone is hugging me and I'll wake up screaming thinking someone is trying to kill me.

I do love to snuggle though I prefer to be the spooner not the spoonee.


honestly sweetheart why has it been a year and you are still having mediocre sex with this aqua?.....you either need to school him on love or he knows that this intimacy is something you are heavily reliant on and hes holding it from you on purpose to see you squirm, if he knew that there was no pressure on him to give you what you really need perhaps he wouldn't be so reluctant.....

I don't mind being lovey dovey in a relationship but if I'm the lovey dovey then the other poerson has to be the opposite, we can't be both lovey dovey because thats just fucking stupid lol even I know thats embarassing

Neither him nor I are settling and I think if you really like a person it's ok to move slow and let things happen without being demanding. Everyones different and has their unique personal situations 🙂 don't be so judgey.

sorry if I come across as critical its a part of my charm.

Taking things slow is awesome but honestly I think he has a woman that hes sleeping in bed with.

Posted by AquaMermaid
Because when a man is truly in love especially an Aquarius man,giving you multiple orgasms and pleasure is what gives him happiness.I am same with my SO.I love pleasuring him to the fullest.

Amen, sister!!!

I know a girl who was with a much younger Aqua guy (maybe with Little experience IDK).
She was always complaining that he was not affectionate. Also it looked like he wanted to hide the thingy they had. Also she was always insecure if he is liking other younger more beautiful girls.

I think what makes her to stay with him (just a little bit longer) was her Cancer and Scorpio placemetns. When you are too obsessed to give up.

They eventually broke up. But currently she is living at his place from where she is seeking a new place. Perfect realisation of friends with benefits.

If I like/love someone I will not give the cold treatment. I'm ALL IN, love, hugs, affection, not over done but just enough to let my partner know he's the one for me. No holding back.

If I like certain aspects of a persons personality but not necessarily like them enough, as in not connecting on a mental level I'd naturally shift into being semi-cold to keep a certain amount of comfortable distance and yet still interact if the person has some decent good qualities.

He's just another guy that is disinterested in any form of intimacy so he compensates for the lack of interest in intimacy by bribing you to stay with his nice guy act and it typically works but eventually it won't be enough to sustain the relationship, you'll tire of it when you eventually realize you're being emotionally intimately being passively starved by his cold behavior.

You're settling whether you know it or not. If you were not settling you would not be here on DXP complaining under the guise of asking about this behavior.

When you get REAL about your situation your answers will naturally come to you without anyone else's opinion.

Women know they are settling when they NORMALIZE behavior they don't particularly care for. Women who settle don't always want to admit they wasted so much time and energy on the wrong guy so they are reluctant to be true to themselves because that would mean the possibility of loss.

You are at a stage in this relationship where it's okay to tell the man you love what you want and need and if you can't do that then something is critically OFF about your situation.

Snickerdoo...great name
Ok I'm rowing in because I disagree somewhat..

1 x said —chemistry is missing??. Thats illogical. Yours is v attentive (not expressive).
starlovers aqua said guy was trying to —not get deep?? (Aquas desire Deep)
piscesmoon2 says he thinks Kissing is —girl stuff?? - that is nonsense lol

I think (unless he's unfaithful/fantasising):

He's devoted to you - and you sense that.
Theres an emotional blockage. This will get far worse, if not explored.

Looking in your eyes for Aqua/Men is —allowing you to see all of his self??
Its not he doesnt want to connect 'with You' - he that he doesnt want you to see 'all of Him'.
Why not? Is there something to hide? Is it real or imagined. Past or Present?

Roughing up sometimes/surprising/shocking moves is typical aqua lol
Discuss his/your fantasies.

He may associate sex with infidelity.
Who does/did his —child-self?? blame for parents distance. Mama or Papa?
Therein lies your answer. Its crucial.

There may be parent rejection issues.
Or disowning his —right?? to Love. No Self-love.
His [subconscious self] may believe he's 'unloveable'.

If parents are significant - you did mention it - consider his subconscious:

Mother rejected Father [becomes] >> All women —wish to?? reject intimacy
Father (role model) rejected Mother [becomes] >> All men —should?? reject intimacy

He may have adopted both elements: Nurturing + Rejecting.

All this may be wrong - But asking questions is logical.
eg:
WHY did the parents 'separate'? Infidelity?
How did he feel?
Who did he blame?
Is there a tendency to —fix things?? before they break?
Is there heightened sensitivity to others Feelings - or their Thoughts (Ego)?
Does he
Fantasise about Saint/Wh0re archetypes?
Endure more discomfort/pain in life/work/home than he should?
(sexually) seek to please You - or vice versa?
Fascinate over your body/clothing?

There are many questions.
And given different childhoods + placements - 100??s of Aqua types

You sound like you love this man.
Make no mistake, no [—whole??] man hates kissing/cuddling/spooning
And No Man likes to look away from his lover in sex
Maybe its time to nudge him gently towards finding the missing 40% of him.
People do that. When they Need The Person.
If you do, go to work.

aquapiscesmoon, hi

It's funny you mention the eyes. I was thinking about how Aquas feel about eye contact. Scorpios are all about connection through the eyes, but Aquarius doesn't have much information on the eyes (from my research) but my aqua is all about making love and eye contact.

But here's the thing, and please, any Aqua opinion would be welcome, when he tells me he loves me, he closes his eyes. What do you think this is? Shouldn't his eyes be wide open?