Does he love me

He has been sleeping with me on and off since we finished our relationship for 2 1/2 years. When hes drunk he tells me he loves me and its always been me. When sober its like hes a different person. Please help. I still love him and I know he loves me but is so complicated.

Posted by Shell14
He has been sleeping with me on and off since we finished our relationship for 2 1/2 years. When hes drunk he tells me he loves me and its always been me. When sober its like hes a different person. Please help. I still love him and I know he loves me but is so complicated.

Sorry, but no I dont think he does loves you. If he did he would want to be in a relationship with you...not just sleep with you. Love is more than sex.

Sorry! I hope this helps!

Posted by aquaninja44

Posted by Shell14
He has been sleeping with me on and off since we finished our relationship for 2 1/2 years. When hes drunk he tells me he loves me and its always been me. When sober its like hes a different person. Please help. I still love him and I know he loves me but is so complicated.

Sorry, but no I dont think he does loves you. If he did he would want to be in a relationship with you...not just sleep with you. Love is more than sex.

Sorry! I hope this helps!

click to expand

yep- I love people when I am drunk too... other times not so much!

What should I do then?

Could he realise he loves like I have done this weekend?

Stop having sex with him. He might have feelings for you but I don't think it's love. I think it's because he's horny and you're familiar. Not trying to be mean, but if he's different when he's sober you have your answer. You KNOW this as well or you wouldn't be questioning it here. Leave him alone and get someone who shares your feelings and will treat you as you deserve. :-)

I drink too. I don't think having fun and drinking is bad. Its the time frame 2 1/2 years. I cant see how its just sex. He said last night he misses me. He is so stubborn and a commitment phobic and has serious issues with his feelings.

Shell it's time to detox and you will never be able to do that if you continue sleeping with him.

You've made a grave error in judgement by continuing to give him your body when he chose to be through with you on a relationship level.

So now you have to cut him off so you can heal and really break up with him. If you do not do this and continue sleeping with him it's going to be very hard on you mentally, emotionally and physically when you finally realize he's done with you but still continued to have sex with you.

No he does not love you but he does love you loving him and he does take advantage of you loving him by continuing on sexually with you, dangling his carrot in your face knowing he will never be with you like he was with you 2 1/2 years ago.

He's wrong for not letting you go, taking advantage of sex with no strings with you but you're wrong for lowering your standards and remaining in a sexual relationship with him. You opted for less when you realized he would not be in a real relationship with you anymore, that's your fault.

Posted by Shell14
I drink too. I don't think having fun and drinking is bad. Its the time frame 2 1/2 years. I cant see how its just sex. He said last night he misses me. He is so stubborn and a commitment phobic and has serious issues with his feelings.

A commitmentphobic man will say anything to keep the sex flowing freely. He is not saying what you need and want to hear and that's the most important part of your situation with him.

A man that has serious issues with his feelings will manipulate, he will say what you wanna hear to get whatever it is he wants to get out of it without committing.

You're playing yourself if you continue on this situation. If you waste your life on hoping he'll turn it around you're being naive.

a. stop sleeping with him
b. stop hanging out with him
c. stop talking to him

when its over you have to let go. its hard, and we all backslide sometimes and think that they'll come back etc... but honestly, it is always better to cut and run.

I asked him if he loved me last night and he goes all quiet. When I asked him did he love the girl he just split up with he said no. He tells me he loves me. I don't understand it. Why not leave me alone?

Posted by GemStar05
Stop having sex with him. He might have feelings for you but I don't think it's love. I think it's because he's horny and you're familiar. Not trying to be mean, but if he's different when he's sober you have your answer. You KNOW this as well or you wouldn't be questioning it here. Leave him alone and get someone who shares your feelings and will treat you as you deserve. :-)

Also.....aquas can have sex with people we just consider friends, its not always connected to love. so even though hes having sex with you doesnt mean he loves you. 😢

So what do I do next time I hear from him ?

I feel so upset all day

Because you sleep with him whenever he feels like it and he's taking you for granted. Stop answering his calls/texts, hang out in different places than him and find the courage to fight this.

I know it's difficult. You may love him or maybe you got used to him. You deserve someone better but if you keep insisting then there is a good chance that if something better comes along, you won't be able to see it

Im sorry, I know you do, we all go through these type of situations. Its life, we learn and move on.

You'll be ok, I promise!! 🙂

Focus on something you love, like art, music, etc. "A creative outlet" or a constructive outlet, whatever works for you.

Next time he contacts you tell him, sorry, but you wont be able to continue your relationship, its not fair to you, and you deserve better!!! 🙂

You dont need to give him excuses. Be blunt and to the point!

You go girl 😄

Why dont you talk to him? Tell him exactly how you feel. In my opinion, you have nothing to lose. If he won't open up to you or says he doesn't feel the same, then cut him out of your life so that you dont continue to get hurt and can move on.

Posted by Shell14
I asked him if he loved me last night and he goes all quiet. When I asked him did he love the girl he just split up with he said no. He tells me he loves me. I don't understand it. Why not leave me alone?

Because he's getting what he wants--sex. Love? He doesn't know or care about the meaning of the word. If he did, he wouldn't torture you this way. Gemstar is right. Dump him. Stop with the support you give him, the sex. He'll disappear in no time.

Oxytocin = attachment in women, so the first thing to do is to stop sleeping with him- otherwise you have a chemical reaction muddying the waters- a smart woman's arch nemesis!

You also need a little distance to see how you actually feel about him, and regroup/ reassess. You can't do that if he's constantly around and pulling strings.

If he manages to hang around without sex, and without communication from you- then you might have something to build on, but at the moment its all just smoke and mirrors...

Good luck!

Stop thinking like a woman and start thinking like a man. Your confusion will go away immediately.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Stop thinking like a woman and start thinking like a man. Your confusion will go away immediately.

+1 !

Posted by LilliLou
Oxytocin = attachment in women, so the first thing to do is to stop sleeping with him- otherwise you have a chemical reaction muddying the waters- a smart woman's arch nemesis!

You also need a little distance to see how you actually feel about him, and regroup/ reassess. You can't do that if he's constantly around and pulling strings.

If he manages to hang around without sex, and without communication from you- then you might have something to build on, but at the moment its all just smoke and mirrors...

Good luck!

+100 they say that when you fall in love, you get really dumb, very dumb.


sigh. ah well.

well i really have nothing to contribute, but hope you get this guy. He sounds like a dreamboat.

*crosses fingers for you!!✨

Why not leave me alone?

You love him, a man loves being loved by a woman but that does not mean he will reciprocate that love and commit to you.

Loving you while he's drunk and on top of you does not estimate into being in love with you.

He loves having sex with you and he'll say anything to not get cut off.

Cut his ass off and if he still loves you, demonstrates he's in love with you then maybe there is a possibility for a relationship, a real relationship to develop.

you're crazy

No. He's using you for sex, he loves that.

Remove the sex and the love is gone.

It sounds like he is using you as a placeholder until something better comes along. Channel the love your have for him into something else such as personal enrichment, volunteer work, and/or travel. Become so busy that you do not have time to even ponder him. Do this for 90 days and you will see a difference.