LeoAqua
@LeoAqua
17 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 682 · Topics: 23
Earning Aqua Respect!!!!
"As much as I love my man I'll be the first to say he's a bully - until he's challenged!!!!"
Ya know LA, what I am observing here is again "mirroring"..... You say he is a bully but clearly in your above post you seem to have been the "bully" in DEMANDING an apology.
to "demand" is not coming from a place of Love - it is coming from a place of Fear within yourself.
What are you afraid of?
Ya know LA, what I am observing here is again "mirroring"..... You say he is a bully but clearly in your above post you seem to have been the "bully" in DEMANDING an apology.
to "demand" is not coming from a place of Love - it is coming from a place of Fear within yourself.
What are you afraid of?
dont think bully is the right word but i get her meaning. u no mine broke up with me once for being TOO NICE FOR MY OWN GOOD
I reckon its cos i let him shove me around abit (not pyshically but ya now at i mean)
I reckon its cos i let him shove me around abit (not pyshically but ya now at i mean)
Erm, my Aqua ex put me down ALL the time, in front of his friends and his family. When I called him on it I got the same response......."I was only kidding sweetheart" sorry that's not on. There is a difference between teasing and being a complete arsehole. UC you gave me some advice a couple years ago about my now Aqua ex, and I'm sorry to say that I made excuses for him at the time - I was in love - but you're right. Aqua men seem to "test" more than most, I've been there several times over.
I'm not bashing these guys but I will say one thing, act like a doormat and they will treat you like one.............and I am not kidding, they seem to think relationships are about power, either you have it over them or they have it over you. I have yet to meet an Aqua who believes in equality and balance in a relationship. Either you wear the trousers and call the shots, or they do. The less you put up with their shit, the more they seem to respect you, although I imagine this is typical of most guys.......but it does seem to be more so with Aqua's. Stand up to them and they are putty in your hands most of the time, well if they truly love you that is. They do not appreciate a woman who is clingy, needy or a pushover. They like strong women who are not afraid to tell them what's what, and when they are out of order. The less you need them, the more they seem to need you.
I'm not bashing these guys but I will say one thing, act like a doormat and they will treat you like one.............and I am not kidding, they seem to think relationships are about power, either you have it over them or they have it over you. I have yet to meet an Aqua who believes in equality and balance in a relationship. Either you wear the trousers and call the shots, or they do. The less you put up with their shit, the more they seem to respect you, although I imagine this is typical of most guys.......but it does seem to be more so with Aqua's. Stand up to them and they are putty in your hands most of the time, well if they truly love you that is. They do not appreciate a woman who is clingy, needy or a pushover. They like strong women who are not afraid to tell them what's what, and when they are out of order. The less you need them, the more they seem to need you.
I'm not bashing these guys but I will say one thing, act like a doormat and they will treat you like one.............and I am not kidding, they seem to think relationships are about power, either you have it over them or they have it over you. I have yet to meet an Aqua who believes in equality and balance in a relationship. Either you wear the trousers and call the shots, or they do. The less you put up with their butter, the more they seem to respect you, although I imagine this is typical of most guys.......but it does seem to be more so with Aqua's. Stand up to them and they are putty in your hands most of the time, well if they truly love you that is. They do not appreciate a woman who is clingy, needy or a pushover. They like strong women who are not afraid to tell them what's what, and when they are out of order. The less you need them, the more they seem to need you.
We think a like. We had a mate over last night who mentioned jokingly that I keep Mr. Aqua on his toes....Mr. Aqua turned around and said hell I know better than to abuse the system with this one but I still love her.
The comment he made was not nasty, more of a 'bad humour' - he didn't expect me to take it up the way I did.
He brought it up last night however and commented about the mood I was in the previous night. I agreed that yes I was in a bit of a mood and he brought up the incident with me wanting an apology. Said that he realised he'd been a bit insulting but felt like a walk-over apologising straight away, hence his hesitation. It's a male ego thing....
And IMO - rather a "forced (strong word for this particular instance but nevertheless) apology" than no apology—? People don't take responsibility for their behaviour unless they're made to apologise - oh and his apology was very sincere.
We think a like. We had a mate over last night who mentioned jokingly that I keep Mr. Aqua on his toes....Mr. Aqua turned around and said hell I know better than to abuse the system with this one but I still love her.
The comment he made was not nasty, more of a 'bad humour' - he didn't expect me to take it up the way I did.
He brought it up last night however and commented about the mood I was in the previous night. I agreed that yes I was in a bit of a mood and he brought up the incident with me wanting an apology. Said that he realised he'd been a bit insulting but felt like a walk-over apologising straight away, hence his hesitation. It's a male ego thing....
And IMO - rather a "forced (strong word for this particular instance but nevertheless) apology" than no apology—? People don't take responsibility for their behaviour unless they're made to apologise - oh and his apology was very sincere.
That is so true of Aqua men testing the boundries and stuff. And I totally failed I was all thsoe things needy pushover etc...totally freaked him out he used try make me be tougher about things... In situations with him and other people.
But I felt protected by him so didn't see the need to defend myself...which in turn freaked him out!
It was weird!! He was willing me to be more independant and I didnt even realise...thats probably what ended us in the end he just lost respect for me probably...That sucks!
But oh well lesson learned.
But I felt protected by him so didn't see the need to defend myself...which in turn freaked him out!
It was weird!! He was willing me to be more independant and I didnt even realise...thats probably what ended us in the end he just lost respect for me probably...That sucks!
But oh well lesson learned.
LK I suppose when living in a Stepford World you could be right but unfortunately in the real world we all find ourselves in a situation where we have to say sorry from time to time. As humans we will screw up once in a while and we will need to apologise (that's if we have any concience).
My feelings are that you are never going to find the perfect partner, since none of us are perfect but by God you find the one who's faults you can tolerate. Since we're all unique I guess my toleration levels would be different to yours. Some teasing and the occassional glib comment are within my toleration levels (whilst publicly humiliating me, for instance, would not be), but this does not mean that these "acceptable" faults should go unnoticed either. You can't possibly tell me your partner has never ever said anything that you might've taken up the wrong way—
I know for a fact I've indirectly insulted my partner without even knowing it until he's pointed it out to me. This is what happened when I demanded my apology - at least now he knows never to joke on that particular subject again - and he won't. Guess he thought I'd see it in jest but I did not.
My feelings are that you are never going to find the perfect partner, since none of us are perfect but by God you find the one who's faults you can tolerate. Since we're all unique I guess my toleration levels would be different to yours. Some teasing and the occassional glib comment are within my toleration levels (whilst publicly humiliating me, for instance, would not be), but this does not mean that these "acceptable" faults should go unnoticed either. You can't possibly tell me your partner has never ever said anything that you might've taken up the wrong way—
I know for a fact I've indirectly insulted my partner without even knowing it until he's pointed it out to me. This is what happened when I demanded my apology - at least now he knows never to joke on that particular subject again - and he won't. Guess he thought I'd see it in jest but I did not.
With us, there is no particular one in control....it's balanced or at least dispersed into areas....
He takes control of certain things and me of others and so we allow each other.
I have my own little home, which I prefer to keep (for my own wierd reasons) but live with him 95% of the time. I really just go home once a week to get fresh clothes and have some alone time. So in the shared home I take charge of domestic decisions with regards the maid, food, decor, etc. He will then take charge of the garden, those sort of things. When it comes to entertaining, purchases etc. we discuss them and if one doesn't agree we can the idea and continue discussing it until we do agree. They say the Leo/Aqua relationship poses a problem in that both parties are stubborn - for some or other reason we agree on most things and when we don't we keep finding a compromise. Perhaps we're fortunate in that we seem to share our moods (both Leo moons) and tastes. There is a constant challenge (healthy) but no fight for control, it sort of flows back and forth between us naturally. I'm lucky.
The comment was glib LK - he meant it as a joke, I unfortunately am a little sensitive on the issue, he never knew and I wanted him to apologise, so he did. He will never make comments, even in jest about this again. I think you've stretched the issue again.
My aim of the thread was to demonstrate that when confronted an Aqua will back down, and will respect you for standing up for yourself - some of the woman on these boards allow them to get away with murder and then wonder a few months down the line why their men don't want them anymore— Perhaps if they had stood their ground they'd still be happy.
I got a call at 6am at the office this morning just to say that my man loves me and so do his dogs love their "mommy". We've been doing a lot of renovating and I've been complaining of a sore neck (painting ceilings) - he's booked me in for a "rock" (typical man he means hot stone!!) massage tomorrow. Plenty of woman dating Aquas on here who'd love to me in my position - so I've obviously done right thus far and would like to offer my advice based on my experiences with what is a very typical Aquarian and who did all the things the woman on here complain about in the beginning. There is light at the end of the tunnel - forgive me for sharing.
He takes control of certain things and me of others and so we allow each other.
I have my own little home, which I prefer to keep (for my own wierd reasons) but live with him 95% of the time. I really just go home once a week to get fresh clothes and have some alone time. So in the shared home I take charge of domestic decisions with regards the maid, food, decor, etc. He will then take charge of the garden, those sort of things. When it comes to entertaining, purchases etc. we discuss them and if one doesn't agree we can the idea and continue discussing it until we do agree. They say the Leo/Aqua relationship poses a problem in that both parties are stubborn - for some or other reason we agree on most things and when we don't we keep finding a compromise. Perhaps we're fortunate in that we seem to share our moods (both Leo moons) and tastes. There is a constant challenge (healthy) but no fight for control, it sort of flows back and forth between us naturally. I'm lucky.
The comment was glib LK - he meant it as a joke, I unfortunately am a little sensitive on the issue, he never knew and I wanted him to apologise, so he did. He will never make comments, even in jest about this again. I think you've stretched the issue again.
My aim of the thread was to demonstrate that when confronted an Aqua will back down, and will respect you for standing up for yourself - some of the woman on these boards allow them to get away with murder and then wonder a few months down the line why their men don't want them anymore— Perhaps if they had stood their ground they'd still be happy.
I got a call at 6am at the office this morning just to say that my man loves me and so do his dogs love their "mommy". We've been doing a lot of renovating and I've been complaining of a sore neck (painting ceilings) - he's booked me in for a "rock" (typical man he means hot stone!!) massage tomorrow. Plenty of woman dating Aquas on here who'd love to me in my position - so I've obviously done right thus far and would like to offer my advice based on my experiences with what is a very typical Aquarian and who did all the things the woman on here complain about in the beginning. There is light at the end of the tunnel - forgive me for sharing.
With us, there is no particular one in control....it's balanced or at least dispersed into areas....
He takes control of certain things and me of others and so we allow each other.
I have my own little home, which I prefer to keep (for my own wierd reasons) but live with him 95% of the time. I really just go home once a week to get fresh clothes and have some alone time. So in the shared home I take charge of domestic decisions with regards the maid, food, decor, etc. He will then take charge of the garden, those sort of things. When it comes to entertaining, purchases etc. we discuss them and if one doesn't agree we can the idea and continue discussing it until we do agree. They say the Leo/Aqua relationship poses a problem in that both parties are stubborn - for some or other reason we agree on most things and when we don't we keep finding a compromise. Perhaps we're fortunate in that we seem to share our moods (both Leo moons) and tastes. There is a constant challenge (healthy) but no fight for control, it sort of flows back and forth between us naturally. I'm lucky.
The comment was glib LK - he meant it as a joke, I unfortunately am a little sensitive on the issue, he never knew and I wanted him to apologise, so he did. He will never make comments, even in jest about this again. I think you've stretched the issue again.
My aim of the thread was to demonstrate that when confronted an Aqua will back down, and will respect you for standing up for yourself - some of the woman on these boards allow them to get away with murder and then wonder a few months down the line why their men don't want them anymore— Perhaps if they had stood their ground they'd still be happy.
I got a call at 6am at the office this morning just to say that my man loves me and so do his dogs love their "mommy". We've been doing a lot of renovating and I've been complaining of a sore neck (painting ceilings) - he's booked me in for a "rock" (typical man he means hot stone!!) massage tomorrow. Plenty of woman dating Aquas on here who'd love to me in my position - so I've obviously done right thus far and would like to offer my advice based on my experiences with what is a very typical Aquarian and who did all the things the woman on here complain about in the beginning. There is light at the end of the tunnel - forgive me for sharing.
He takes control of certain things and me of others and so we allow each other.
I have my own little home, which I prefer to keep (for my own wierd reasons) but live with him 95% of the time. I really just go home once a week to get fresh clothes and have some alone time. So in the shared home I take charge of domestic decisions with regards the maid, food, decor, etc. He will then take charge of the garden, those sort of things. When it comes to entertaining, purchases etc. we discuss them and if one doesn't agree we can the idea and continue discussing it until we do agree. They say the Leo/Aqua relationship poses a problem in that both parties are stubborn - for some or other reason we agree on most things and when we don't we keep finding a compromise. Perhaps we're fortunate in that we seem to share our moods (both Leo moons) and tastes. There is a constant challenge (healthy) but no fight for control, it sort of flows back and forth between us naturally. I'm lucky.
The comment was glib LK - he meant it as a joke, I unfortunately am a little sensitive on the issue, he never knew and I wanted him to apologise, so he did. He will never make comments, even in jest about this again. I think you've stretched the issue again.
My aim of the thread was to demonstrate that when confronted an Aqua will back down, and will respect you for standing up for yourself - some of the woman on these boards allow them to get away with murder and then wonder a few months down the line why their men don't want them anymore— Perhaps if they had stood their ground they'd still be happy.
I got a call at 6am at the office this morning just to say that my man loves me and so do his dogs love their "mommy". We've been doing a lot of renovating and I've been complaining of a sore neck (painting ceilings) - he's booked me in for a "rock" (typical man he means hot stone!!) massage tomorrow. Plenty of woman dating Aquas on here who'd love to me in my position - so I've obviously done right thus far and would like to offer my advice based on my experiences with what is a very typical Aquarian and who did all the things the woman on here complain about in the beginning. There is light at the end of the tunnel - forgive me for sharing.
LK in answer to your question...I sadly lost one of my dogs a few weeks ago (congestive heart failure) so the remaining one commutes with me. We have to keep them all seperated as his dogs are a lot bigger and may hurt mine, but we manage by keeping mine upstairs on the balcony and he then sleeps with us at night - his cannot get up the stairs. We're thinking about getting an animal behaviourist in to help introduce them, but we haven't got to that yet.
I do help with the renovations yes. His money - I've never contributed a cent. Why do I help - I love it, I get pleasure out of staying in a nice home, he appreciates it and why the hell not?? He's helped me with loads too....if it weren't for him and his support I'd have gone nuts when I lost my baby a few weeks back. He's quick to help when I need my washing machine connected or the garden table erected...
We have spoken about this however and he has told me that if and when he marries me he would insist I have my own money invested in a seperate property. He said that he would, as a man provide a roof over my head and all required to live in it comfortably but would need to know that I have my own investment as well. So we agreed that whilst his house would remain his and that I would live in it as my own (regardless of the fact that my name is not on the deed), that I would buy a smaller little coastal apartment to rent out during the year and to which we will go for holidays (this would then be my property - without his name on the deed). I will never earn what he does so can only afford an apartment.
At the moment I rent a little townhouse and just haven't gotten round to purchasing anything again (since my divorce), I was toying with the idea of buying a holiday apartment because the return on rentals is higher than a permanent tenant. You can rest assured he'd be more than happy to help renovate the holiday apartment too, regardless of who owns it.
I am not stupid LK, but if I'm going to live in the house surely I should contribute in some way - he won't take my money even if I offer, so doing what I enjoy and putting in some physical effort, IMHO doesn't spell problem?
I do help with the renovations yes. His money - I've never contributed a cent. Why do I help - I love it, I get pleasure out of staying in a nice home, he appreciates it and why the hell not?? He's helped me with loads too....if it weren't for him and his support I'd have gone nuts when I lost my baby a few weeks back. He's quick to help when I need my washing machine connected or the garden table erected...
We have spoken about this however and he has told me that if and when he marries me he would insist I have my own money invested in a seperate property. He said that he would, as a man provide a roof over my head and all required to live in it comfortably but would need to know that I have my own investment as well. So we agreed that whilst his house would remain his and that I would live in it as my own (regardless of the fact that my name is not on the deed), that I would buy a smaller little coastal apartment to rent out during the year and to which we will go for holidays (this would then be my property - without his name on the deed). I will never earn what he does so can only afford an apartment.
At the moment I rent a little townhouse and just haven't gotten round to purchasing anything again (since my divorce), I was toying with the idea of buying a holiday apartment because the return on rentals is higher than a permanent tenant. You can rest assured he'd be more than happy to help renovate the holiday apartment too, regardless of who owns it.
I am not stupid LK, but if I'm going to live in the house surely I should contribute in some way - he won't take my money even if I offer, so doing what I enjoy and putting in some physical effort, IMHO doesn't spell problem?
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Now I've noticed that on the two or three occassions he has done this and I've demanded an immediate apology he's backed down and given it to me.
Last night, in a joke he said something that came out a little off-beat. Now bearing in mind that I love a good two-way tease and can take quite a bit - but even I have limits.
So the minute it came out of his mouth, I looked at him and said that was uncalled for, you need to apologise. He stuttered for a bit, but I stood my ground and said, no I want an apology. You need to make right what you just said. Well, as was the case in the previous instances, he turned around looked me square in the face and said yes you're right it came out wrong I'm sorry. I said thank you and changed the subject to something lighter.
I in turn have also said things a little on the nasty side before and am very quick to apologise when he expresses his hurt - I guess what makes it ok for him to eat humble pie and apologise is the fact that I do practise what I preach.
Thinking back, he's never refused me an apology when I've demanded one - he's tried to get out of it, I've always stood my ground and he's given it to me eventually.
As much as I love my man I'll be the first to say he's a bully - until he's challenged!!!! I reckon this could be a little Aqua trait (particularly the men). Woman should be aware and remember that typical bully mentality and stand up to it - it earns you respect!