Ex Aquarius Girlfriend, the silent treatment and deciding to move on.

Hello,

As people here have been really helpful in me understanding my situation with my ex, I have decided to post here again and ask you lovely Aquas for advice.

My ex and I broke up 6 months ago due to her family not accepting me. I have now realised that I was being pushy with her which has resulted in me being blocked on everything and she has been giving me the silent treatment on and off for the past 3 or so months.

She hasn't really done anything that says we can reconcile, but I get the odd occasional look and then when I look back she turns away.

I agree that I pushed her, and also understand that she may be confused and has a hard time dealing with her emotions (she has a cancer moon).

I sent her an email a few weeks ago, apologising for my mistakes and also told her that I would like to reconcile things, however if she feels I am not the one for her, I told her I wanted her to be happy and wished her the best.

She has not responded to this email and its been a few weeks. I am getting complete silence from her - no responses at all. Its almost like I don't exist.

Now I have read on DXP that this means one of two things,

1) Get the hint mate we are over.

2.) To give her time to come to me as she still may be feeling confused.

I have moved on and have been chatting to other women and have the chance with one where I can progress it to a relationship.

So im here for advice. Do I forget about my ex and move on with this new opportunity I have? I work with my ex so no doubt at some point she will find out. Will this give the indication that the door is now closed with me forever?

Will me moving on make her talk to me, or will it cause her to be even more distant?

Despite what has happened between us I do still care for my ex and don't want to hurt her, but at the same time, she hasn't given me single indication that she wants to talk to even be civil at work.

My date with this girl is next week and I know she will want an answer from me. It may not be official straight away but that's where it will lead.

Any advice from Aqua's or people who have suffered the silent treatment from Aqua's is helpful.

Thanks in advance.

Do I forget about my ex and move on with this new opportunity I have?

Yes move on with your life. Even if you were trying to get her back, you'd still need to forget her and move on.

Will this give the indication that the door is now closed with me forever?

She already shut the door. There's nothing you could do to shut it any more than she has already.

Will me moving on make her talk to me, or will it cause her to be even more distant?

You said that you moved on already. Your concern is no longer what she does. She may talk to you, she may not. It's of no consequence either way if you've truly moved on already.

Despite what has happened between us I do still care for my ex and don't want to hurt her, but at the same time, she hasn't given me single indication that she wants to talk to even be civil at work.

If she's not concerned about your feelings, you don't need to be concerned about hers. You moving on with your life should have no impact on her.

My date with this girl is next week and I know she will want an answer from me. It may not be official straight away but that's where it will lead.

Go on the date. Also don't focus on getting into a relationship. Your job is to set dates and have fun. Give this woman the time to decide if SHE wants to be in a relationship with you. Do not rush it.

Cheers Chuckem you are a legend!!!!

@happy_aqua: Being a Leo I find it hard to let go of things I have a very personal connection to. In this case its my emotions towards my ex.

Yes up until recently I was very confused. I wanted my ex, and I wanted to work things out, but it takes 2 people to communicate for that to happen. My ex would talk to me all the time but no she acts like I don't exist. She just wont talk - not even a get lost and leave me alone lol.

Normally I am a very sure person. I am finding hard to let go because to this day my ex has not explained fully what happened when we broke up and has gone into her shell. I now need to accept it for what it is and close the door.

A reasonable amount of time has passed and if I don't get answers then I am now prepared to look forward. I am at the last stage of getting over her now, and yes I do not want to mess this other girl around.

If I am in something I am in it fully otherwise I am not. My date will tell me what I need to know about where I am in my personal growth, the reason why I posted here was to get advice from people who can perhaps give me an understanding of certain things. I am trying to take a 360 approach.

@Happy_aqua " I hope you will succeed in your 360 approach, don't do it fully though, or you will be back at the same point where you started at! " - Lol this made my day - good point. There is nothing worse for personal growth to end up where you started.

I think if she acts like you don't exist she probably just finds it hard to tell you straight to your face to get lost and leave her alone.... Maybe she's afraid of your reaction, or afraid you will end up in some fight. - I have already told her that we can talk, and I don't want it to escalate to a drama or an argument. This girl went from telling me almost everything (the only things she kept to herself were things that really affected her emotionally) to nothing at all. Saying that though I guess this situation is emotional as well so it may be the reason why is she is so distant.

Yes I agree I don't know the whole story - When I asked her what her parents said she kept saying "the age difference" then proceeded to tell me that "I don't know what she has been though" but when I ask she doesn't tell me. I am starting to understand the retreat action, but in some way would it be better to just say what she needs to and be done with it?

I understand the position she was in, the girl did tell me that she wanted to marry me and would always talk about the future.

"Yep the Leo shines through" - Please elaborate lol.

I dunno I'm the best at the silent treatment and blocking everyone! My friends call me the blocker. Usually when I do this it's because I'm angry very angry and can't be bothered with that person and would like to hurt them physically so before my temper flies off I block for your safety! But since she's not given you anyway I or responded to you I would say no there's not a chance for you two you've really annoyed her

Seems like it - Bubbles. Not even work related stuff, I don't even get addressed by name. Ive tried my best to sort things out. I think it best I leave it alone now.

Carry on dating ONLY the woman who makes you forget about your ex. It doesn't seem that you have found her yet. This woman who is expecting an answer from you seems to be a rebound. Otherwise I believe that you would know what to do.

I'm pinning over my ex sometimes too, so I went social dancing at his usual venue. There, I've seen another guy and the connection/chemistry I felt was out of charts. With the added bonus that unlike my ex, he hasn't disappointed me (yet?).

Look for someone who fills you with excitement and happiness. Unlike your ex!

@undine - good advice

@Capmercury87 - Yes I can be stubborn in that sense at times. By the time I normally quit there is no coming back.

@Happy_Aqua - Everything you have said is spot on. I cant argue or disagree with it. Yes Leo's and Aquas have 2 different ways to communicate. And I am a lets get it out. My ex on the other hand has kept it all in and gave me the "this is how I deal with stuff" line. It does look as if its time to move on, I just wish at minimum I can ease some of the pain she is experiencing. It mustn't be nice being in her situation. Anyways thank you for your help - I do appreciate it.

To me someone ignoring you is worse than death. It is time for you to put her in the back of your mind and start dating others. She is not the first or last woman you will ever love. You have to do what is best for you because obviously she is doing what is best for her. If at any time your mind drifts back to the memory of her ask yourself this question. "Is she missing any sleep over me?" The truth is no she is not. Now don't miss any over her.

@Happy_Aqua - Yes I totally understand where you are coming from. I sent you a PM yesterday of what I said to her. Now I am going to give her space and focus on me. I think it is still painful for her. She may be over me she may be not, but all I wanted to do was say to myself I have done all I could. Another Leo trait lol. I will learn to let it go. When I see her I will be polite and keep it professional. If she doesn't want to talk to me I will leave her alone.

@DiamondAce - Yes there is more to it. I continued to push after we broke up and although she engaged in conversation she didn't really open up. Then I did a silly thing and sent a mate to snoop and find out information. She let onto my mate that she is back with her ex (which came as shock because their situation is quite similar to mine where his family did not approve of her). This happened within 4 weeks for her telling me she hopes she doesn't regret her decision to leave me and it hit me like a truck. I was angry and ignore her for a month or so and then she went from ignoring me to looking at me and being in my zone etc. A few weeks passed and I emailed her and said Ive been told she is back with her ex and if anything happened or if they were talking while we were together. I think that's the thing that did it. She blocked me off everything when my mate did some digging for me.

I just want to figure out if she is being distant because she is still healing or she completely hates me now. I wont act on it, I just need to know. Its sort of like a closure.

@everyounce - good advice mate. Thank you. I guess my road to recovery will be a long one.

@Happy_Aqua - I don't think she is back with her ex, it was a response to me being an idoit and snooping

@Bumboklatt - Yes I agree.

Everyone here has shown me that I need to move on and forget about her. Time for me to heal and do my thing