HELP me try and understand him, Im so confused!

I've known an aqual male from work for the past 3 years. We worked in a different department for the first 2. He was naturally drawn to me only even though I or he was too busy to speak. He did everything he could to make me laugh in a weird, dorky way. Then his dept changed buildings so I didn't see him as much. After about 6 months my dept moved to the same building as he was. It picked back up where we left off. Hed pass by all the time to either pick on me, pester me, kick me playfully, give me a comforting yet subtle touch. Or he'd drop everything to help me with whatever he was doing. Sometimes he'd like to just stand there and watch me work. He always initiated though. He'd even sometimes randomly call or email me for a weird reason because he just wanted to talk, he wouldn't admit it though. He's also very kind an supportive.

I've always considered him a good work friend. Then I ended up being transferred to his dept and things changed from day 1. Even tho our office was 2 feet from each other, he stopped speaking to me. He always socialized with everyone else in our dept and in other departments but rarely with me. I felt lonely so instead of smothering him cause I knew aquas hate that, I would focus on work and helping the new employee in another dept (male). The aqua never admitted it at first but I suspect he was jealous because he kept interrupting us whenever I helped the new male coworker. He'd interrupt "jokingly" saying things like "hey hey hey don't bug her". Or "hey hey hey she works with me now". I guess it bothered him so much he told ppl at a meeting to stop bugging me. I even saw he wrote down somewhere that we are supposed to be in our own dept 90% of the time. Yet he was always off getting distracted with other ppl in other depts.

he gave weird BS reasons why he couldn't just talk to me about it. He said something about how he just thought bof it. (Yeahright).

Anyway then for the next 6 months all we did argue about either how he's neglecting me or how he's upset cause I ignored him all day. But despite all this, everything has been going great the past few months. We are starting to socialize like the old days and neither one has gotten upset with each other.

However, one thing still bothers me that I still don't understand. Id like to be a work friend with him like he is with everyone else. He still doesn't talk to me as much as everyone else. Is it something I'm doing?

Also to add since there is a word limit on here. Although we get along great he still talks to everyone else a lot and wayyyyy more than me. We do get along and do socialize now but its infrequent and random. I don't give him grief about it. But I don't know what it is. Also he seems to want me to be with him at the randomest times or in certain stiuations like he won't go to lunch with me alone unless he has an alibi I think like he has others to join or there's a quick presentation he has to go to or something.but he always uses that as an exuse so he can have lunch with me otherwise he won't include me.

He randomly asked me to go to lunch with him and one of his work buddies last week (we hadn't gone to lunch in eons) and we socialized great til his work buddy showed up and it was like I didn't exist and the whole time they talked football while I sat there playing with my water. What's the point in me going if he was gonna do that and he seems to always do that to me. Talk to the other person only even if the other person was someone he dislikes, he still talks to them and ignores me.

What's his deal?

Is your company strict about staff in the same department dating? It seems very awkward now that you two are working together. Maybe that's partly why he has to visit you more randomly so others don't suspect that something is going on? It can be pretty messy if things don't work out, especially with all the office gossip and opinions. It's best to keep low profile if you want to take this further. Another reason is that he probably finds it very easy to look for you now that you two are in the same place so there is no need to make alot of effort. It's also a good time for him to relax and let it happen naturally.
You might be biased too about his attention span on you because the time he took to see you at the other department seemed like alot but it was because you two didn't see each other every day like now.I think it's best if you focus on your work and stop getting distracted by someone who is not sure about you and get entangled in all this colleague dating thing. Let it happen naturally. By the way, maybe it's time you make some new friends in the new department instead of focusing your attention on one person? I know Scorpio can be stubborn and obsessed about why things happened that way and why it wasn't the same but there were many reasons things happened that way. Instead of pushing yourself on a situation you can't CONTROL, just go with the flow. Things will work out when you look away.

I agree with you that it may seem like a big difference in attention becuase i'm so accessible now but that doesn't discount the fact that everyone in our department he talks to/socializes with regularly and I'm like the only one he doesn't talk to and when he does talk to me its so random and/or it's only about work most of the time. I do focus on work mostly and i let things happen naturally but it seems to be making it worse.

I do socialize with others but he seems to have an issue with that also (seems like its only with the males). I don't get why he randomly invites me to lunch or whatever if he's going to invite someone else and talk about football all hour long.

I've tried asking about him in the past long time ago and he acts like he doesn't get what i'm talking about so what's with the random invites but yet won't talk to me. I remember one time a bunch of us were going to happy hour at a bar and he asked if I was going. I said i wasn't going to, he asked why and kept bugging me to go only to go and him not acknowledge me once.

Is it cause he just likes my presence or is he thinking because I don't talk to him. I'm confused.

I do like him as a friend and if he did ask me out i'd say yes but being friends also wsorks for me becuase i am independent.

How do I handle him. Cause its annoying!