Help! Not used to the Aqua disappearing act?

Hey guys so background story, Im a Pisces (22 years old) and my bf is an Aqua (22 years old). Dating for 3 years.

So basically what happened was me, my bf, and our friends went to a convert. After the concert we all went back to one of my friends house. After an hr I had to leave cause my mom wanted me home so my Aqua bf chose to stay with his friends rather than go sleepover at my place. The next day at 10am he calls me telling me he slept over at the friends house and asked if I wanted to hand out later that night. I said no cause I was kind of upset he didnt chose to be with me the night before plus I had to go somewhere with my mom the next day. Anyways later he finally calls me again at like 8pm and I got really upset with him cause he didnt even bother to TRY and ask me to see him during the day or night. He acts confused cause I said that I didnt want to see him that night and I said "well why didnt u try harder to see me?" I start crying on the phone and he just stays silent on the line cause our friends are standing next to him I guess. I ask when is he going home, he says in like an hr. Well its been over 10 hrs later and he hasnt called me and Ive been up all night worrying cause I know he didnt go home...he stayed at his friends house again.

I tried calling his friends phone (my bf's cell doesnt work cause he cant recieve incoming calls, he can only call out) and no one picks up. So I pretty much called once every hr or so and no one has picked up all night. I realllllly dont want to look like a needy gf but I dont know if its my Pisces nature or my period is coming but I just stayed up all night crying. He NEVER avoids me all night like this and now I just like a needy bitch of a gf trying to get in contact with him. It hurts me to know he chose his friends over me and didnt even bother to try and make me feel better. And just lied to me saying he was going to home when he was going to be with his friends all night again.

So basically Im upset over two different things. First I feel like he likes being with his friends more than me cause he chose to be with them 2 times in a row over me. And now Im freaking out about him avoiding me. I dont know what he's doing. Is he at a club? A bar? Is he cheating one me? Is he trying to break up with me by avoiding me? Or is he just avoiding me cause he's with his friends and he's trying to not talk to me cause he knows Im just going to be arguing with him on the phone and he doesnt want to do tha

front of them? Im just so scared and confused cause we always talk at least an hr a day and he's never done this before. I know I probably sound rediculous and needy cause its only been one day and one night since he hasnt talked to me but I just cant help but worry. And I know that if I was out with my friends all night and I didnt call him...he would be REALLLLY worried. He gets jealous whenever I even pick going to the gym with one of my friends over seeing him. I would really appreciate some advice on what to do. Im going to go with my mom away tomorrow for the night and coming back the day after and I think that Im just going to leave my cell behind. I am just wayy to worried and I dont want to ruin my time with my mom by checking my phone nonstop and worrying that he still hasnt called.

Oh and please let me know how long do u think its going to take for him to finally call back? Tomorrow during the day? Next night? The day after? Ive never gone more than 24 hrs w/o talking to him. Please I would appreciate any advice and Im sorry if this post sounded suppperrrr needy 😢

i think it's a good idea to leave your phone at home. remember, you're magnifying the situation to bigger than what it is. like you said....pms. it happens 🙂

aquas are not very emotional, as a general rule. don't let your fears put pressure on him. give him space. space is underrated (i have aqua venus, i would know). your reactions to what he's doing could have the opposite effect to what you want. you know, it's 'well she just won't leave me alone, she's blowing up my phone...meh. this is alot of effort for right now.' cue more ignoring.

never let 'em see you sweat...i've made this mistake before and my guy ran for his life. we're getting back together now, but only because he's seen how mature and confident i can be. not the neurotic mess i turned into when things were getting rough. right now, you don't sound like your intuition is telling you he's up to something...you're reacting to him ignoring you and blowing things out of proportion. it's natural...just put things into perspective.

you've never gone 24hrs without speaking to him...well this is something new, adapt.
he seems to be choosing his boys over you...discuss this when your emotions have calmed down.
he's avoiding you?...then do your thing. you're his gf. there's no logical reason for him to avoid you...apart from how you're acting. so, get on with your stuff, don't wait for him to contact you. before you know it, he will 😉

where's his venus?

Both of our venuses are in Capricorn.

And thank you for ur advice, I just cant help but think the worst when something like this happens. Especially when Im stuck in my house by myself cause all my friends are gone and I have to stay in anyways cause I have to go with my mom super early in the morning. Being by myself just makes me go crazy and start picturing the worst in my head. Its especially bad when u have no one to talk to and get u to calm down. I just hate how he knows exactly what to do in order to make me stop being angry at him and make me freak out and forget why I even got angry with him. Now I just want it to stop and go back to normal. I cant ever seem to get him to apologize or care. Although he's never done this before by going out all night and avoiding me, he does sometimes I just turn cold and quiet when I get upset and then I stop being angry cause I dont want him to be angry. Its not fair. I wish I could be the one to avoid him and have him freak out for once.

Whenever I get upset I just want to talk about the problem and resolve it, he just tries to avoid it as much as possible. I mean how can things possibly get resolved when u act like that? Do I just have to hold in my emotions and not ever tell him how I feel? I want to be able to be open with him and be comfortable around him enough to be myself and cry if Im upset. I mean Im an emotional person, probably a little more so now haha.... but I wish he could accept me being emotional once in a while rather than just avoiding it whenever it becomes to heavy. I mean u should accept the person ur with right? I accept that he wants space, and I always give him space when everything is fine. Im NEVER the one to first call him. So it hurts me that he would avoid me on the times that I really need him to be there for me. It just doesnt feel fair.

I mean what? The next time I tell him Im gonna go out with my friends I should just not call him the rest of the day and night? Whenever I do go out he just calls me every 30min-1h asking me when Im gonna be done. And me like a normal person picks up or texts back telling him when Im gonna be done. I just wanna give him a taste of his own medicine and no longer respond to his calls or texts with my friends. Its really not fair, I try and be a good gf and make sure he knows what Im up to if he's worried. But he doesnt ever seem to do the same for me...

Oh for firewaterearth, I really really just cant imagine breaking up with him. He's my first kiss, my first relationship, my first love and my first sex experience. So yeah I guess I have a lot riding on this relationship. It sucks. I wasnt his first anything so I dont think he really knows how I feel. 😢

Posted by pinkberry1122

I accept that he wants space, and I always give him space when everything is fine. Im NEVER the one to first call him. So it hurts me that he would avoid me on the times that I really need him to be there for me. It just doesnt feel fair.

this is where the problem is. when things are fine, he gets space when he needs it. things are not fine, you have problems giving him that space. also, when you need something from a person-how do they know what you need unless you tell them? espeeeecially guys, they can be so clueless.

you should speak your mind, though, when the two of you are back on track. because it sounds like you're frustrated with him...that's not going to go away overnight 😢

as for the calling when you're out, i wouldn't like that. leave me the hell alone, i'm trying to do my thang

Check your inbox for the message!!

Talk about emotional crackhead lol....Whew OMG just stop while you're ahead, the guy is probably scared shitless after seeing you allow him to control your feelings and turn you into a needy mess. Go do something constructive, get busy by focusing on yourself, go organize your closet or rearrange some furniture or help a friend with a project or create or finish a new project, go breathe without being tied to his hip, you do realize you are not tied and glued to the hip like siamese twins, he's an individual and so are you, give him some room to breathe, being tangled and tied to one another and talking an hour a day for 3 years well damn he needs a break! And you need a break too to remind yourself that you are SOMEBODY without him, you are developing a bad habit called co-dependency, start reminding yourself of who you were before this guy showed up, you appear to have lost your sense of self, lost who you are as an individual and that is not good and it literally kills all the attraction out of a relationship/man.

Posted by pinkberry1122
The next day at 10am he calls me telling me he slept over at the friends house and asked if I wanted to hand out later that night. I said no cause I was kind of upset he didnt chose to be with me the night before plus I had to go somewhere with my mom the next day. Anyways later he finally calls me again at like 8pm and I got really upset with him cause he didnt even bother to TRY and ask me to see him during the day or night. He acts confused cause I said that I didnt want to see him that night and I said "well why didnt u try harder to see me?" I start crying on the phone and he just stays silent on the line cause our friends are standing next to him I guess.

Did you say no AND explaing why you were upset? Or did you just say no and ASSUME he'd know you were upset? I'm guessing you said no and assumed he'd read your mind. Guys aren't mind readers. You have to say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't play the whole mind game thing where you say everything's all gravy when it's not, and then get pissed off at him for not decoding your thoughts. I'm sure he wasn't acting confused -- he WAS confused! Because you didn't explain why you were upset, acted like everything was fine, and then threw the psycho b!tch card.

The whole "Well why didn't you try harder to see me?". Really? You're expecting too much and expecting him to know what to do. You can't do that. Especially with an aqua. That's SO annoying and needy. I understand the phone situation, but calling all his friends and then him every hour? If I were him, I'd be embarassed. That's probably the reason why he was ignoring you. Aquas are the sign of friendship and our friends are our #1 thing. A lot of my exes used to get upset about me wanting to hang out with my friends all the time too. Some even tried to forbid me or even give me ultimatums! Like seriously? That's the quickest way to get dumped lol! My advice to keeping an aqua is to accept their friends and be cool with them yourself. Even if you don't really like them, ACT like you like them!

One of my friends is a Pisces and I think this is just a quality you guys have. You guys play mind games (whether inadvertently or not) and aren't really upfront with telling your man what you REALLY think. You guys are dreamers and wish your man could just know what to do like a fairy tale. It's not like that lol. Esp with aquas who are unpredictable, independent, and hard to pin down. But hopefully you found all this helpful and pls don't get offensive (like most people do lol). Constructive criticism. Hope it helped and hope everything works out for you...

Posted by tiki33
Talk about emotional crackhead lol....Whew OMG just stop while you're ahead, the guy is probably scared shitless after seeing you allow him to control your feelings and turn you into a needy mess. Go do something constructive, get busy by focusing on yourself, go organize your closet or rearrange some furniture or help a friend with a project or create or finish a new project, go breathe without being tied to his hip, you do realize you are not tied and glued to the hip like siamese twins, he's an individual and so are you, give him some room to breathe, being tangled and tied to one another and talking an hour a day for 3 years well damn he needs a break! And you need a break too to remind yourself that you are SOMEBODY without him, you are developing a bad habit called co-dependency, start reminding yourself of who you were before this guy showed up, you appear to have lost your sense of self, lost who you are as an individual and that is not good and it literally kills all the attraction out of a relationship/man.

LOL agree with everything she sed ^. Read this to yourself over.. and over.. and over 🙂

aquarius21: Although I do agree with u and I am ok with the fact that he hangs out with his friends, I sill think its ridiculous that u say Aquas like and want to be with their friends more than their significant others. If they do, then they should honestly marry their damn friends. Like what the fuck? What kind of girl wants to be treated second best to the guy's friends? And yeah that would be fine if both the parties agree to that but even he isnt ok when I chose to hang out with my friends over him. Like what the hell? I see him all the time and the moment I change plans with him to see my friends for TWO hrs he goes crazy psycho jealous on me. And he calls ME nonstop when I go out drinking with my friends cause he's jealous he's not with me when Im at a bar w/o him. But he can be with his friends for 48hrs drinking nonstop and completely ignore me? That's completely unfair and a one sided relationship. So yeah for now on I'm not going to let him manipulate me into canceling plans with my friends if hes not to not do the same for me.

I may be emotional, but thats the main reason he tells me he loves me so much. So what? He's only going to accept the good emotional part of me, but whenever I cry and get angry he's just going to avoid it? Wtvr

Posted by pinkberry1122
aquarius21: Although I do agree with u and I am ok with the fact that he hangs out with his friends, I sill think its ridiculous that u say Aquas like and want to be with their friends more than their significant others. If they do, then they should honestly marry their damn friends. Like what the fuck? What kind of girl wants to be treated second best to the guy's friends? And yeah that would be fine if both the parties agree to that but even he isnt ok when I chose to hang out with my friends over him. Like what the hell? I see him all the time and the moment I change plans with him to see my friends for TWO hrs he goes crazy psycho jealous on me. And he calls ME nonstop when I go out drinking with my friends cause he's jealous he's not with me when Im at a bar w/o him. But he can be with his friends for 48hrs drinking nonstop and completely ignore me? That's completely unfair and a one sided relationship. So yeah for now on I'm not going to let him manipulate me into canceling plans with my friends if hes not to not do the same for me.

I may be emotional, but thats the main reason he tells me he loves me so much. So what? He's only going to accept the good emotional part of me, but whenever I cry and get angry he's just going to avoid it? Wtvr

if it sounds ridiculous to u it's not like ur married to the guy. u can walk away from him and find someone who WILL put u before everyone else like u want. for u to want to be put before his friends is selfish and unfair. y does anyone have to be before anyone? u might as well ask to be put forth over his mom, family, etc lol. if ur mindframe is different than his n u just can't understand him -- that's ok. maybe ur not meant to be, u guys r incompatible, n u should just move onto someone else...

aquas treat everyone the same and no one is held at a higher regard than anyone else. i find that a lot of our significant others have a prob w/ that b/c they DO want to feel important, etc -- n i can understand that. idk about other aquas, but i personally don't like putting anyone high up on a pedastal. everyone gets same treatment. yeah i love my sig. other, but that doesn't mean a friend or family member has to get blown off for them. call it a flaw, but like i said: ur not married. so if u don't want to deal w/ a guy who thinks like that u can easily walk if you want to.

and u mention he goes psycho when ur out w/ ur friends too? sounds like u guys already r a bad dynamic. it's simple: talk it out and let him know ur underappreciated. suggest ways that would make u feel content. agree to not trip when u guys r out with ur friends. if nothing is fixed n ur still unsatisified, BREAK UP! ur's still young and there's plenty of other signs in the zodiac lol

@pinkberry1122: You're right about marrying their best friends. My Aqua husband and I are best friends and he spends every day talking with me unless he's in the lectures. It gets to the point I force him to make appoinments with his friends so we can see them together and once I got him into the habit of seeing his friends, I start to say that I want to have sometimes alone or to see my friends more often and he can understand it better, as I put it this way "let's be fair".Hs stillsulks abit now and then but I don't give into demands like that because I appreciate my friends. Deep down inside, I know that he actually likes that quality of mine. Never deserting my friends.
Definitely, construtive criticism is the key like others here advised you. You can't expect him to read your mind and know what it means when you burst into tears. I suppose you can say that your boyfriend is kind of a liar to say that he'd return in one hour but if you only call him to cry again or get emotional then it won't work. You need to prepare yourself like doing a presentation before talking to him. Think constructively.Only then you might get through his wall. I'm not sure your relationship can survive longer if you both keep ignoring the problems and act childishly to one another.

Tip: Don't call his friend every one an hour at night. That's kind of crazy! He'd get mad at you too and your Aqua would start to rethink the relationship. You know how important his friends to him then it's best not to get them involved in your relationship. Things can get really messy.