HOW do you persuade an Aqua man?

(or any man for that matter)

I need relationship advice here folks, not dating advice. I already have the man, for almost a year now. He adores me and pretty much has placed me on a pedestal. But I've got a stubborn one. Idk how much of it has to do with him being an Aquarian or just being a man! He's driving me crazy. He agrees with everything I suggest but doesn't always deliver. Lately he never "gets the chance to do it yet but he will" its incredibly frustrating. I'm not a nag so I I see no point in repeating the same things over and over again. But I've repeated my requests to him several times now and I can't do it anymore. No results from him just excuses. Starting today I will be treating him like a friend and let's hope he notices my disappointment. But if he doesn't! Do I have options? They're pretty important things I want him to do and not about me, but him! He keeps reassuring me he'll get them done when he gets a chance but its been like a month now and its always something, usually related to work or how tired he is. I'm beginning to see a pattern here and I don't like it. It's either he doesn't want to really do them and he agrees with me to not upset me, or he's afraid.. he's not lazy. I need your insight please.

"They're pretty important things I want him to do and not about me, but him!"

You can't change a man even if you ask. It's really about accepting him for who he is.

If a man asked you to change would you? What if what he's asking you to do is not important to you. Would you still do?

Look at it another way. If he changes for you then he's' losing his Independence, individuality, identity through you which renders him incompetent as a human being.

In your case you are dealing with a rebel by spirit and by nature, tell him what to do and he will rebel against it just to prove to you he's in charge of himself.

He's not doing what you request because he doesn't want to do it. He doesn't have to say I don't want to, all he has to do is not do it and hope you get a life and leave his life alone.

Not being rude to you when I say get a life and leave his life alone, it's more about how we Aquas feel when being told to do something, we really don't take to being told what to do, least I don't and I'm an Aqua too.

For example if I don't want to do something I will wait and wait and wait till the very last second and do it, sometimes begrudgingly. If I do something I don't want to do I feel resentment towards the person even if I care about the person. It's an Aqua thing, I'm working on it but I work better at doing things at my own pace and time.

We Aqua's will not be bossed around, convinced, by the people we love. That saying I've heard "you're not the boss of me" fits an Aqua to a T.

All you can do is accept that he won't do it and drop it. What you may actually see is him getting to whatever it is after you relax.

Right now his behavior shows apathy, something we Aqua's are good at, plus if it's not mentally stimulating it's not that important (that's how we/some of us Aqua's think/feel) and with that being said, whatever it is can wait.

What may work is telling him it needs to be done by this date and time, put it on a sticky note and hope he follows through. Be specific, date/time/place and let him know it's important to you that it gets done, you don't want to feel disappointed. Could work.

Posted by tiki33
"They're pretty important things I want him to do and not about me, but him!"

You can't change a man even if you ask. It's really about accepting him for who he is.

If a man asked you to change would you? What if what he's asking you to do is not important to you. Would you still do?

Look at it another way. If he changes for you then he's' losing his Independence, individuality, identity through you which renders him incompetent as a human being.

In your case you are dealing with a rebel by spirit and by nature, tell him what to do and he will rebel against it just to prove to you he's in charge of himself.

He's not doing what you request because he doesn't want to do it. He doesn't have to say I don't want to, all he has to do is not do it and hope you get a life and leave his life alone.

Not being rude to you when I say get a life and leave his life alone, it's more about how we Aquas feel when being told to do something, we really don't take to being told what to do, least I don't and I'm an Aqua too.

For example if I don't want to do something I will wait and wait and wait till the very last second and do it, sometimes begrudgingly. If I do something I don't want to do I feel resentment towards the person even if I care about the person. It's an Aqua thing, I'm working on it but I work better at doing things at my own pace and time.

We Aqua's will not be bossed around, convinced, by the people we love. That saying I've heard "you're not the boss of me" fits an Aqua to a T.

All you can do is accept that he won't do it and drop it. What you may actually see is him getting to whatever it is after you relax.

Right now his behavior shows apathy, something we Aqua's are good at, plus if it's not mentally stimulating it's not that important (that's how we/some of us Aqua's think/feel) and with that being said, whatever it is can wait.

What may work is telling him it needs to be done by this date and time, put it on a sticky note and hope he follows through. Be specific, date/time/place and let him know it's important to you that it gets done, you don't want to feel disappointed. Could work.

BS. There's such a thing as COMPROMISE. If you're in a loving relationship, then it's different. However with other people I dont know, and who seem to believe or think they are trying to "Control" or fit or manipulate someone int

Ok, I don't know how I ended up sounding controlling but apparently I did. Let me clarify that I'm not, at least when it comes to my relationship. He is free as a bird and knows it. However we are two adults and we are in a relationship, and if I don't voice our requests how is anything supposed to get done? I'll repeat that he agrees with my suggestions and even offers to do something on his own but doesn't always follow through. I'll remind him because he's also forgetful but it feels like sometimes I'm talking to the wall. "ahuh. Yeah you're right, I will babe I will) and again, no action.
Also, let me be more specific so that you may understand that I'm not trying to change him. We have talked about him going back to school after 10 years. He was hesitant at first but after a while he seemed happy and excited bout HIS decision. The thing is he isn't really taking any steps yet and time is ticking. I know its a huge thing but I see no effort no baby steps. The biggest thing he's done so far is announce it to his family.... I'm the one researching the schools, reminding him to call financial aid office, this that and the other.. he has a full time job and other daily obligations but I feel that when a person decides to work on a goal a new endeavour he initiates SOMETHING asap.

He isn't ready to reach for that goal yet. If he wanted to, he would have. If he senses you are putting pressure on him he will do it even less because its HIS goal, not yours.

If I were you I would never mention it again.

Another example, we discussed his finances and after losing a second income and making a budget sheet he decided he needs to start saving up and cutting corners etc.. he was complaining to me about his incredibly high child support payment to his ex wife (i know its in fact too high because I did my research) and I reminded him that he can change it now that he no longer has the second income, and lower it to what it was before his ex wife petitioned to raise it when he got a second job. He said yes thats exactly what he'll do. Did he? No, he thought it might be best to talk to his ex about it first and explain his tough situation. Did she give a rats ass? No of course not and why should she. She basically said kiss my ass I don't care go to court if you wanna change it. Ok. So I have been reminding him, honey did you file the petition yet? So honey did you remember to do the petition today? Etc.. his response is always sure honey I will. Honestly if you still think I'm trying to control him now you are crazy. I'm trying to have a relationship and trying to see my man succeed.

Is that the only request?

I can understand wanting him to go back to school is a great thing and he's probably given it some thought and left it in the backburner. You mentioned he was hesitant did you ask him why? You also said he has a full time job and obligations too so it seems you understand WHY he's taking his time.

What he decides to do at this point is completely up to him, that is the fundamental part about an Aquarius, you can't persuade us. Now it might be his other placements kicking in to being so agreeable and that's something you need to sit him down and have a real chat and not let him get away with it just because he's agreed to it.

Also when did you guys dicuss it. I had a similar instance and I just wanted to deal with it in my own time. Knowing I'd miss out on most of the start dates for a few courses I literally decided to drop it and focus on other things until the time came up again. Other reason being part involved in my work that I couldn't just ditch them and having not set up a nice foundation.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
He isn't ready to reach for that goal yet. If he wanted to, he would have. If he senses you are putting pressure on him he will do it even less because its HIS goal, not yours.

I think you may be right. 😢

Posted by aquasnoz
Is that the only request?

I can understand wanting him to go back to school is a great thing and he's probably given it some thought and left it in the backburner. You mentioned he was hesitant did you ask him why? You also said he has a full time job and obligations too so it seems you understand WHY he's taking his time.

What he decides to do at this point is completely up to him, that is the fundamental part about an Aquarius, you can't persuade us. Now it might be his other placements kicking in to being so agreeable and that's something you need to sit him down and have a real chat and not let him get away with it just because he's agreed to it.

Also when did you guys dicuss it. I had a similar instance and I just wanted to deal with it in my own time. Knowing I'd miss out on most of the start dates for a few courses I literally decided to drop it and focus on other things until the time came up again. Other reason being part involved in my work that I couldn't just ditch them and having not set up a nice foundation.

There are other requests but these two are the most important ones at the time.
And I see what you're saying so ill just have to wait some more and see what he does. We actually first discussed the school thing beginning of summer.. its now September.

Just given the second example I can see why he is hesitant on going back to school. The man's gotta make money and going back to school would probably be the last on my list if he had a child to support. I can't really say seeing personally I'd go back to school, work shifts and get all that accomplished and did it because it's what I needed to do.

My opinion is it's really his own fault, it's understandable to wallow and whinge about situations but when you have a responsibility and you know you can make amends to lighten your load, you do it.

Thank you!! I want to communicate this to him without sounding like I'm nagging him, and at least hear some of his true thoughts about it. It just makes me so sad though that I can't do anything to influence him.

Apologies if I sound condescending. I think you're worrying about him because of his lack of initiative and that shows you care and it's admirable. I agree with the Aqua ladies in that you can't force or persuade an Aqua and the catch is sometimes (or at least me) can be stubborn as hell.

Getting me to move forward is as intricate as it is delicate, I almost want to reference inception as you'd probably need to get in my brain and implant the idea. Out of curiosity though what are his placements, my earthy influences drives me to have a plan and stability and act out accordingly even if I'm up in the clouds with Pisces stellium.

If it counts I don't think you're being a control freak but genuinely concerned as I would if I had a partner in a similar situation. I might've gone down the tough loving road already but I think you're on the right track, getting things sorted out and presenting them to him for him to make a choice then be BLATANTLY obvious you are disappointed so he can see he's not delivering his part in the relationship.

Posted by Gemsandsugar

Posted by aquapiscescusp
He isn't ready to reach for that goal yet. If he wanted to, he would have. If he senses you are putting pressure on him he will do it even less because its HIS goal, not yours.

I think you may be right. 😢

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You obviously love him very much and want him to reach his goals, too sweet btw, Aquarians do things when it feels right, by intuition and not logic. Step away from his to dos!

Posted by aquasnoz
Apologies if I sound condescending. I think you're worrying about him because of his lack of initiative and that shows you care and it's admirable. I agree with the Aqua ladies in that you can't force or persuade an Aqua and the catch is sometimes (or at least me) can be stubborn as hell.

Getting me to move forward is as intricate as it is delicate, I almost want to reference inception as you'd probably need to get in my brain and implant the idea. Out of curiosity though what are his placements, my earthy influences drives me to have a plan and stability and act out accordingly even if I'm up in the clouds with Pisces stellium.

If it counts I don't think you're being a control freak but genuinely concerned as I would if I had a partner in a similar situation. I might've gone down the tough loving road already but I think you're on the right track, getting things sorted out and presenting them to him for him to make a choice then be BLATANTLY obvious you are disappointed so he can see he's not delivering his part in the relationship.

Nice answer

It appears you're pushing him to do those things. From my experience, people do what THEY want to do and not because someone else wants us to. They have to want it for themselves. I have Mars in Aqua and I'll tell you if you were pushing me, I'd bust a gut not to do it (even though I wanted to) just to prove a point to you that I won't be pushed.

Relax. If he wants to, he will. If you back off, he might do it on his own.

You say time is ticking. Why? Does he have a GI Bill that's about to run out? Otherwise, stop pushing him. It takes a lot of time, effort, energy and mental preparedness to go to college. Perhaps he doesn't enjoy school and would rather keep his free time to himself.

As far as the child support - well, perhaps he WANTS his child to have that money so his child can maintain his/her life style . There are other factors in this besides just what you want.

Unless you're married to him, his decisions are his own and don't necessarily affect you. You'd be best to remember that.

Posted by Gemsandsugar
Another example, we discussed his finances and after losing a second income and making a budget sheet he decided he needs to start saving up and cutting corners etc.. he was complaining to me about his incredibly high child support payment to his ex wife (i know its in fact too high because I did my research) and I reminded him that he can change it now that he no longer has the second income, and lower it to what it was before his ex wife petitioned to raise it when he got a second job. He said yes thats exactly what he'll do. Did he? No, he thought it might be best to talk to his ex about it first and explain his tough situation. Did she give a rats ass? No of course not and why should she. She basically said kiss my ass I don't care go to court if you wanna change it. Ok. So I have been reminding him, honey did you file the petition yet? So honey did you remember to do the petition today? Etc.. his response is always sure honey I will. Honestly if you still think I'm trying to control him now you are crazy. I'm trying to have a relationship and trying to see my man succeed.

This is probably not something you could push for either. He has a child and he wants to take care of this child, he is succeeding in this respect. I might be off here but sounds like he has a lot on his plate. Is any of this affecting your life as a couple? If not, let him figure out his own things especially when it comes to the ex and child.

Posted by truecap
It appears you're pushing him to do those things. From my experience, people do what THEY want to do and not because someone else wants us to. They have to want it for themselves. I have Mars in Aqua and I'll tell you if you were pushing me, I'd bust a gut not to do it (even though I wanted to) just to prove a point to you that I won't be pushed.

Relax. If he wants to, he will. If you back off, he might do it on his own.

You say time is ticking. Why? Does he have a GI Bill that's about to run out? Otherwise, stop pushing him. It takes a lot of time, effort, energy and mental preparedness to go to college. Perhaps he doesn't enjoy school and would rather keep his free time to himself.

As far as the child support - well, perhaps he WANTS his child to have that money so his child can maintain his/her life style . There are other factors in this besides just what you want.

Unless you're married to him, his decisions are his own and don't necessarily affect you. You'd be best to remember that.

This unsweetened version is good too 🙂

All that said, I do understand your frustration. Just don't let it get to you or become an obstacle. Don't create a situation that causes yall to start resenting each other.

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by truecap
It appears you're pushing him to do those things. From my experience, people do what THEY want to do and not because someone else wants us to. They have to want it for themselves. I have Mars in Aqua and I'll tell you if you were pushing me, I'd bust a gut not to do it (even though I wanted to) just to prove a point to you that I won't be pushed.

Relax. If he wants to, he will. If you back off, he might do it on his own.

You say time is ticking. Why? Does he have a GI Bill that's about to run out? Otherwise, stop pushing him. It takes a lot of time, effort, energy and mental preparedness to go to college. Perhaps he doesn't enjoy school and would rather keep his free time to himself.

As far as the child support - well, perhaps he WANTS his child to have that money so his child can maintain his/her life style . There are other factors in this besides just what you want.

Unless you're married to him, his decisions are his own and don't necessarily affect you. You'd be best to remember that.

This unsweetened version is good too 🙂

click to expand

That came out a little harsher than I meant it. Damn capricorn mercury! 🙂

Ahhh you stubborn creatures. Guess that's exactly what I'll have to do and then wait and see.

Here are his planets:
Sun / Aqua
Moon / Sag
Mercury / Cap
Venus / Aqua
Mars / Cancer
Jupiter / Gemini
Saturn / Leo
Uranus / Scorpio
Pluto / Libra
Lilith / Cancer
Asc node / Libr

I havent learned to interpret most of these so any help would be appreciated.

Posted by Gemsandsugar
Ahhh you stubborn creatures. Guess that's exactly what I'll have to do and then wait and see.

Here are his planets:
Sun / Aqua
Moon / Sag
Mercury / Cap
Venus / Aqua
Mars / Cancer
Jupiter / Gemini
Saturn / Leo
Uranus / Scorpio
Pluto / Libra
Lilith / Cancer
Asc node / Libr

I havent learned to interpret most of these so any help would be appreciated.

Aquasnoz?

Posted by truecap
All that said, I do understand your frustration. Just don't let it get to you or become an obstacle. Don't create a situation that causes yall to start resenting each other.

To be honest with you, when I think about It I'm already starting to resent him about this. It's hard not to when you feel like another woman has your man's balls in her purse. Frankly that's how I'm feeling about it now.

Posted by truecap

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by truecap
It appears you're pushing him to do those things. From my experience, people do what THEY want to do and not because someone else wants us to. They have to want it for themselves. I have Mars in Aqua and I'll tell you if you were pushing me, I'd bust a gut not to do it (even though I wanted to) just to prove a point to you that I won't be pushed.

Relax. If he wants to, he will. If you back off, he might do it on his own.

You say time is ticking. Why? Does he have a GI Bill that's about to run out? Otherwise, stop pushing him. It takes a lot of time, effort, energy and mental preparedness to go to college. Perhaps he doesn't enjoy school and would rather keep his free time to himself.

As far as the child support - well, perhaps he WANTS his child to have that money so his child can maintain his/her life style . There are other factors in this besides just what you want.

Unless you're married to him, his decisions are his own and don't necessarily affect you. You'd be best to remember that.

This unsweetened version is good too 🙂

That came out a little harsher than I meant it. Damn capricorn mercury! 🙂

click to expand

It's good and to the point, nothing wrong with that!

Posted by Gemsandsugar

Posted by truecap
All that said, I do understand your frustration. Just don't let it get to you or become an obstacle. Don't create a situation that causes yall to start resenting each other.

To be honest with you, when I think about It I'm already starting to resent him about this. It's hard not to when you feel like another woman has your man's balls in her purse. Frankly that's how I'm feeling about it now.

click to expand

I can see why you feel that way, that's his child and she will always be there. There is no competition and if there were, you would probably lose. Learn to deal with it, he will respect you more.

Just the Asc Node caught my eye. Libra are known to be indecisive not because they aren't but in wanting to please others but in this case being in the Asc node perhaps it's his tendencies to rely on himself which is why he's not adhering to your requests.

I haven't had too many experiences with Cancer mars but I don't think any part of it is manifesting so maybe he's not being defensive about anything so far.

Sag moon, well, might partially explain why he's kept you out of the loop but not because he means it or he's forgotten about you or anything lol. It's basically his way of dealing with it all, from experience they do take offense when you mention certain things *shrugs*

But you can see he's got a cap merc, like me and Trucap. I think he's got a solid way of thinking he's just not opening up the details to you.

Let me explain something to you guys, because I wasn't prepared to hang up his dirty laundry online to make a point but it seems I need to. Please don't start lecturing me about parenting things..
He spoils his daughter ROTTEN. And I'm happy to see it because I hate when children go through a divorce. My point is , he uses his own money to make sure she has EVERYTHING SHE NEEDS AND MORE. Part of it is because he's a great dad and the other part is because he feels guilt. You see here's the tricky part. His ex wife is a Jehovah witness and he feels she's literally sucking their daughters childhood away. (if you're not familiar with what these people do. They are very weak minded strict people who take their children door to door to talk to strangers about their lord and savior... LOL. and they dont let children celebrate holidays including their own birthdays even in school. It's a very unfortunate situation I tell you)
So there you have it. I'm not trying to take a damn thing from his child because he makes sure she is set. The child support money however goes to her MOTHER who uses it to buy those watchtower books to hand out door to door... It's giving Me a headache just thinking about it.
So please no parenting lectures.

Posted by feby16aqua

Posted by Gemsandsugar

Posted by truecap
All that said, I do understand your frustration. Just don't let it get to you or become an obstacle. Don't create a situation that causes yall to start resenting each other.

To be honest with you, when I think about It I'm already starting to resent him about this. It's hard not to when you feel like another woman has your man's balls in her purse. Frankly that's how I'm feeling about it now.

Oh I understand this. Look at the big picture though, what is the alternative? You can be there for him and be his rock or fight him on it and it will get you nowhere but stressed and even apart...fighting sucks.

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Yeah it does suck and its sucking the life out of me right now. And o like how you put it because that's exactly what I've been striving for, to be his rock and his support system... Sigh

Posted by aquasnoz
But you can see he's got a cap merc, like me and Trucap. I think he's got a solid way of thinking he's just not opening up the details to you.

Now that you mention it, my son always complains that I don't let him in on my plans. They're all up in my head and I usually don't share until I'm sure that's the route I want to go and the plans are already in motion.

Posted by aquasnoz
Just the Asc Node caught my eye. Libra are known to be indecisive not because they aren't but in wanting to please others but in this case being in the Asc node perhaps it's his tendencies to rely on himself which is why he's not adhering to your requests.

I haven't had too many experiences with Cancer mars but I don't think any part of it is manifesting so maybe he's not being defensive about anything so far.

Sag moon, well, might partially explain why he's kept you out of the loop but not because he means it or he's forgotten about you or anything lol. It's basically his way of dealing with it all, from experience they do take offense when you mention certain things *shrugs*

But you can see he's got a cap merc, like me and Trucap. I think he's got a solid way of thinking he's just not opening up the details to you.

That does sound like him. He's used to relying on himself only. But I'd like to open him up to me and to a type of love he isn't used to. I want him to share his struggles with me also, not just say ok whatever you want honey and then not follow through and leave me scratching my head

Actually, I think it could be his mars in Cancer (passive-aggressive, avoiding confrontation, having to be sure and prepared before they make a move):
from alwaysastrology.com

MARS In CANCER:
Mars in Cancer can be passive-aggressive. They don't care for change or direct confrontations. They prefer to feel secure before they act on something. They would rather be well prepared. They are tenacious, and strong despite their appearance.

Indifference hurts them more than anything else. Mars in Cancer can be manipulative and argumentative. Emotional displays will occur if they feel threatened. They can be over-sensitive, but when they are confident, they are helpful, dependable and protective of those they love. They prefer peaceful solutions. They are not very assertive or demanding, and prefer to work on their own where they are in control. Cancer Mars may change direction or even their goals in order to pursue security. They are loyal and devoted.

Mars in Cancer is passionate and creative. They are in tune with their own wants and desires, and they are sensitive to the needs of those around them. They have a good memory, and they are dedicated enough to see things through to the end. They have a great imagination that serves them well when it is not imagining terrible scenarios that hurt their feelings of security.

They may be moody, but this is because their emotions are so intense. This intensity may affect their digestion or cause anger deep within them. They try to suppress it, only to suffer physically because of it. It can be difficult for Cancer Mars to be objective, and they tend to make decisions based on their mood at that moment, which they may regret later.

Mars in Cancer is very sensual. They want to find a partner they truly love. Sex and love must go hand in hand. They need a lot of romance and affection or they will feel neglected. They can be so overwhelmed with the emotions of the moment that they may actually cry??_ it is part of their release. They make every effort to please their partners, even though they are not very adventurous in this area. They are not very demanding lovers. Mars in Cancer is very traditional, although there are a few who need to sleep with many people in order to feel wanted and attractive.

The thought of conceiving a baby may be very attractive to Cancer Mars. They are not very vocal about their wants or needs, and expect their partner to figure out what they like. They are exceptionally

They are exceptionally loyal to their partner, and expect the same in return.




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Hmm it's none of your business though. It's his money. He chose her to have a child with, she can't be that bad or does he make bad choices in relationships?

Posted by truecap

Posted by aquasnoz
But you can see he's got a cap merc, like me and Trucap. I think he's got a solid way of thinking he's just not opening up the details to you.

Now that you mention it, my son always complains that I don't let him in on my plans. They're all up in my head and I usually don't share until I'm sure that's the route I want to go and the plans are already in motion.

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Oh boy. Right on the money. That's my aqua. I ask him hey why didn't u tell me about this before! He'll say oh honey I wanted to make sure I had all the details planned out first... Lol

Posted by Gemsandsugar

Posted by truecap

Posted by aquasnoz
But you can see he's got a cap merc, like me and Trucap. I think he's got a solid way of thinking he's just not opening up the details to you.

Now that you mention it, my son always complains that I don't let him in on my plans. They're all up in my head and I usually don't share until I'm sure that's the route I want to go and the plans are already in motion.

Oh boy. Right on the money. That's my aqua. I ask him hey why didn't u tell me about this before! He'll say oh honey I wanted to make sure I had all the details planned out first... Lol

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Yep. That's the cap side showing. 🙂

Yeah apologies 😛 mars isn't my strong suit lol I only know the basic characteristics.

But yeah when the details aren't ironed out, than it's NO PLAN AT ALL! lol.

*then

Posted by aquapiscescusp
Hmm it's none of your business though. It's his money. He chose her to have a child with, she can't be that bad or does he make bad choices in relationships?

But it is my business honey, because he's talking about marrying ME everyday. I don't know how most people understand marriage these days but if a man tells me hey let's get married soon, ill have to make sure he's got his finances straight.

Posted by Gemsandsugar

Posted by aquapiscescusp
Hmm it's none of your business though. It's his money. He chose her to have a child with, she can't be that bad or does he make bad choices in relationships?

But it is my business honey, because he's talking about marrying ME everyday. I don't know how most people understand marriage these days but if a man tells me hey let's get married soon, ill have to make sure he's got his finances straight.

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Sounds like you are trying to straighten out a lot of things for him... Good luck!

Oh and only one person refers to me as honey he :p

Hmmm thanks for posting this! It seems mostly correct.
I'm worried.

Posted by truecap
Actually, I think it could be his mars in Cancer (passive-aggressive, avoiding confrontation, having to be sure and prepared before they make a move):
from alwaysastrology.com

MARS In CANCER:
Mars in Cancer can be passive-aggressive. They don't care for change or direct confrontations. They prefer to feel secure before they act on something. They would rather be well prepared. They are tenacious, and strong despite their appearance.

Indifference hurts them more than anything else. Mars in Cancer can be manipulative and argumentative. Emotional displays will occur if they feel threatened. They can be over-sensitive, but when they are confident, they are helpful, dependable and protective of those they love. They prefer peaceful solutions. They are not very assertive or demanding, and prefer to work on their own where they are in control. Cancer Mars may change direction or even their goals in order to pursue security. They are loyal and devoted.

Mars in Cancer is passionate and creative. They are in tune with their own wants and desires, and they are sensitive to the needs of those around them. They have a good memory, and they are dedicated enough to see things through to the end. They have a great imagination that serves them well when it is not imagining terrible scenarios that hurt their feelings of security.

They may be moody, but this is because their emotions are so intense. This intensity may affect their digestion or cause anger deep within them. They try to suppress it, only to suffer physically because of it. It can be difficult for Cancer Mars to be objective, and they tend to make decisions based on their mood at that moment, which they may regret later.

Mars in Cancer is very sensual. They want to find a partner they truly love. Sex and love must go hand in hand. They need a lot of romance and affection or they will feel neglected. They can be so overwhelmed with the emotions of the moment that they may actually cry??_ it is part of their release. They make every effort to please their partners, even though they are not very adventurous in this area. They are not very demanding lovers. Mars in Cancer is very traditional, although there are a few who need to sleep with many people in order to feel wanted and attractive.

The thought of conceiving a baby may b

*here

Sorry if I offended you aquapiscescusp , honey is kind of my thing. I call everyone honey, unless I hate them 😄
Thanks for the luck. I'll need it!

Posted by Gemsandsugar
Sorry if I offended you aquapiscescusp , honey is kind of my thing. I call everyone honey, unless I hate them 😄
Thanks for the luck. I'll need it!

No worries cinnamon bun 🙂

Ok well now I'm hungry thanks to you. So ill go bake my worries away... Thanks for your help guys. *virtual hugs* for everyone \0/

Posted by Gemsandsugar
Sorry if I offended you aquapiscescusp , honey is kind of my thing. I call everyone honey, unless I hate them 😄
Thanks for the luck. I'll need it!

If I do say so, the way you're approaching this seems like the best way at least for me even if I don't have the same placements. I can recall countless times where people are either too confrontational that put me off. Suffice to say a discussion about it and remaining open minded and asking for inputs from his end will probably give you a better result.

Best example with the schooling example was when I was still with my Sag ex. She was looking into a lot of brochures and information online and never mentioned I should do it just basically mentioned how great it would be because she knew I loved design.

"BS. There's such a thing as COMPROMISE. If you're in a loving relationship, then it's different. However with other people I dont know, and who seem to believe or think they are trying to "Control" or fit or manipulate someone "

If it's something I don't want to do I won't compromise, I just won't do it which is one of the many reasons why he's not doing it.

She asked I answered. It's my own experience being an Aqua so I think I'm a bit qualified to give her some insight on how some of us Aqua's tick. We can be rebellious at heart. Don't ask and ask or we will rebel.

For example, my mom never had to ask me to do something twice unless I just wasn't going to do it then she'd roar at me like the Leo Queen Lioness she is and I'd pick up my pace but that was like pulling teeth, she soon learn just to leave me alone and let me go at it my own way.

Aqua's are fiercely Independent, no need to ask and ask.

Posted by Gemsandsugar
Ok, I don't know how I ended up sounding controlling but apparently I did. Let me clarify that I'm not, at least when it comes to my relationship. He is free as a bird and knows it. However we are two adults and we are in a relationship, and if I don't voice our requests how is anything supposed to get done? I'll repeat that he agrees with my suggestions and even offers to do something on his own but doesn't always follow through. I'll remind him because he's also forgetful but it feels like sometimes I'm talking to the wall. "ahuh. Yeah you're right, I will babe I will) and again, no action.
Also, let me be more specific so that you may understand that I'm not trying to change him. We have talked about him going back to school after 10 years. He was hesitant at first but after a while he seemed happy and excited bout HIS decision. The thing is he isn't really taking any steps yet and time is ticking. I know its a huge thing but I see no effort no baby steps. The biggest thing he's done so far is announce it to his family.... I'm the one researching the schools, reminding him to call financial aid office, this that and the other.. he has a full time job and other daily obligations but I feel that when a person decides to work on a goal a new endeavour he initiates SOMETHING asap.

If he's not doing it...He doesn't want to and he won't, least not until it's in his heart to do it, we can be that way sometimes.

I think it's more about him not wanting to disappoint you. Of course he shouldn't lead you believe he'll go back to school right away, he could be thinking of this endeavor more so down the line but not right now.

I cannot speak for every Aqua but I don't initiate anything until I'M READY to initiate, until then nothing will get done especially if it's about something that has something to do with my life and my future.

Posted by Gemsandsugar
Another example, we discussed his finances and after losing a second income and making a budget sheet he decided he needs to start saving up and cutting corners etc.. he was complaining to me about his incredibly high child support payment to his ex wife (i know its in fact too high because I did my research) and I reminded him that he can change it now that he no longer has the second income, and lower it to what it was before his ex wife petitioned to raise it when he got a second job. He said yes thats exactly what he'll do. Did he? No, he thought it might be best to talk to his ex about it first and explain his tough situation. Did she give a rats ass? No of course not and why should she. She basically said kiss my ass I don't care go to court if you wanna change it. Ok. So I have been reminding him, honey did you file the petition yet? So honey did you remember to do the petition today? Etc.. his response is always sure honey I will. Honestly if you still think I'm trying to control him now you are crazy. I'm trying to have a relationship and trying to see my man succeed.

Yeah I see what you're saying but his life his problem. I don't think he's ignoring you deliberately, it may be more about him taking your suggestions as just that an alternative suggestion but not something he literally have to do.

Try not to get too involved in his life like a wife would. Be his girlfriend not his wife. He's not in a rush nor hurry to get all that done or he'd have done it by now.

Posted by tiki33
"BS. There's such a thing as COMPROMISE. If you're in a loving relationship, then it's different. However with other people I dont know, and who seem to believe or think they are trying to "Control" or fit or manipulate someone "

If it's something I don't want to do I won't compromise, I just won't do it which is one of the many reasons why he's not doing it.

She asked I answered. It's my own experience being an Aqua so I think I'm a bit qualified to give her some insight on how some of us Aqua's tick. We can be rebellious at heart. Don't ask and ask or we will rebel.

For example, my mom never had to ask me to do something twice unless I just wasn't going to do it then she'd roar at me like the Leo Queen Lioness she is and I'd pick up my pace but that was like pulling teeth, she soon learn just to leave me alone and let me go at it my own way.

Aqua's are fiercely Independent, no need to ask and ask.

that's true. in that context, but maybe it depends. As for your mother, mother/daughter relationships are hard anyway, i got along better with my grandparents. I noticed this in MOST mother/daughter relationships no matter the signs/placements. Some of us are too quiet and keep alot of hurt feelings inside (for the more passive ones)

Posted by truecap
It appears you're pushing him to do those things. From my experience, people do what THEY want to do and not because someone else wants us to. They have to want it for themselves. I have Mars in Aqua and I'll tell you if you were pushing me, I'd bust a gut not to do it (even though I wanted to) just to prove a point to you that I won't be pushed.

Relax. If he wants to, he will. If you back off, he might do it on his own.

You say time is ticking. Why? Does he have a GI Bill that's about to run out? Otherwise, stop pushing him. It takes a lot of time, effort, energy and mental preparedness to go to college. Perhaps he doesn't enjoy school and would rather keep his free time to himself.

As far as the child support - well, perhaps he WANTS his child to have that money so his child can maintain his/her life style . There are other factors in this besides just what you want.

Unless you're married to him, his decisions are his own and don't necessarily affect you. You'd be best to remember that.

LMAO@ I have Mars in Aqua and I'll tell you if you were pushing me, I'd bust a gut not to do it (even though

OMG that is so me...I will not do it, not even an army of 300 will make me do it.

+1 to your whole answer TrueCap