some clarification and advise on a Aqua man please

A little bit of background-It's a LDR we have met each other a few times and it's been 3 years. A few months ago I did a favor for him and he promised me that he will come meet me in a couple of months>
So today I had sort of an argument with my guy 😢
It's Friday and thought I just drop him a hi and how are u? Well one thing lead to another and because it's LDR I should have bit my tongue but I went on to say u promised me that u will come see me. His reply it wasnt my fault that some member in his family passed away and he's moving to a different city because of work, and I know u hate me! I say -I've never hated anyone in my life, no I don't hate u. After that maybe because I didnt direct it towards him first, and said "never hated anyone" his goes on says maybe we should just delete each other on fb and Skype and never talk again! I was taken aback and didnt know what to say, I did say sorry and that he must of been busy and that I'm not gonna have a good day today. After some time I get a message saying -u brought this on yourself, and to relax, it's all good. I asked if we can talk on the phone ...his reply I'm going out with my sister and we will talk later. I don't know what to make of this I'm confused. Right after I loaded a picture of my niece and me on Facebook and he Licked it (he's NEVER liked or commented on anything on my Facebook but would inbox me that he liked my picture. Can someone clarify this for me and give me some advise on what to do next?

Posted by Metoo
Alot of changes in his life with moving and death in the family.
That was a warning I think not to push it right now.
But liking your pic on fb was a way to say he is still there.
Even so, lay low for a bit. Keep things light and let him initiate everything right now.

Thanks Metoo, I leave him alone for a bit and then for some odd reason I will text him or something, I guess just to know he's still there for me.
This morning I did apologize and he said just dont worry so much that it's all fine. I'll try to do it the way your saying.

Posted by feby16aqua
Just relax and don't make any moves.
"I'm going out with my sister we will talk later" means "everything is ok, just give me some space and I'll get back to you when I feel more settled."

Thank you Feby16aqua

I really appreciate all the information I can get!
There is a couple of other questions about Aquarious
end of last year we had some conflicts and he came out with just being friends,
I didnt want to argue more with him and agreed with it, he started calling me with my
name whenever we talked. I did him a big favor in January (I can't still understand why he didnt
ask his family /friends or ex gfs ..(.he still keeps in contact with his exgfs) after that he has started
calling me with sweet names ....babe/baby/my love unless he's a bit mad with me he will call me by my name.
Again I will appreciate all your advise ....thank you

I guess he wanted to show me we are only "friends" and that's it at that time, he would just my name everytime I think just to wind me up so I'd get mad.
Well in jan I did him this favor with a small amount of money ....I still don't understand why he didnt ask his friends/family/ or his ex gfs....was this a test for me?
After that he has been calling me with sweet names, and he'll only say my name if he's mad at me.
He is actually slowly opening up to me about his personal life, I still try to hold back with mine as to being mysterious.

Lol ok thanks feby16aqua .....well I really didnt want to do the favor and didnt think it was a test but I'm still learning about aquarious so I thought maybe, but he we have been talking more than before

*Those exgf pictures on his fb were from so many years*

Thank you, I'm a virgo, so I'm used to for other person to come out with their love for me, he on the other hand loves to play mind games with me.
It started out perfect love - than he disappeared - came back saying he loved me - disappeared - came back we are talking and he looks onto my eyes and says I see love for me in your eyes,
I say, is that a bad thing? He says we have to know more of each other and spend more time with each other and lets be friends. We were hardly talking when he asked me for the favor.
So my next move is lay low? And wait for him to contact me?

@Keesha, you sound like a really nice lady. Back off from him. He is in a bad space right now and whatever relationship you try to have with him will not work in the long run. Send him some good vibes and get to steppin'. 🙂

Posted by firewaterearthpiscesvenus
@Keesha, you sound like a really nice lady. Back off from him. He is in a bad space right now and whatever relationship you try to have with him will not work in the long run. Send him some good vibes and get to steppin'. 🙂

Thank you for the advise ....I really appreciate it!
Yes I have backed off alot ....alot than before!
I'm trying really hard to keep it low contact but yes being a virgo I still get the urgency to contact him at times.
Believe it or not it did start off with him saying he loves me- than some months after him disappearing on me - than coming back saying he needed space and he loves me- than disappearing again -coming back with love and some time after saying we have to work on our relationship slowly and to be friends. I didnt want to be friends but I didnt want to argue with him on this and have him disappear again, so I agreed. Nothing has really changed in fact I see even a wider smile on his face when I do talk to him once a week.

About him coming to meet me and canceling out ...I knew he won't come, but he insisted No i really do have to see u!!!!! I was thinking of just saying its ok don't repay me back it's a small amount but I didnt say it to see what he will do.
A couple of months ago he said he's coming here with his friends in the summer (I know about it) a couple of them are single, and if I have any single friends? And I say ME ME! He says No your mine.
A couple of weeks ago he put up a picture on fb with his cousins, I say to him ...your cousin is cute is he single? He right away says ...well he is my cousin, and I'm yours, and he probably had a gf because he gets texts from her.
He's moved a couple of times through work to the same city and than back again to his home. So it's not like this is his first time.
I don't want to lose him, so every positive advise I would appreciate!
Thanks again! Keesha

How can I bring him to just be himself? Just be the guy that I first met?
I kinda don't wana play these mind games anymore. 😢

What does it mean when a aquarious says "just relax a bit, that's about it?" ( don't jump to conclusions? )
I apologized to him yesterday ....and this is what he said.

Posted by feby16aqua

Posted by Keesha
What does it mean when a aquarious says "just relax a bit, that's about it?" ( don't jump to conclusions? )
I apologized to him yesterday ....and this is what he said.

What did you apologize for?

click to expand

I apologized for Friday and I should have known he had a lot on his mind, ....(I was really saying it in a kidding way, and he took it that I was complaining .....I really have to watch what I say around him)

About 6-7 months back I said I miss him, do u miss me? His reply No I don't miss u, I care about u.
A 2 weeks ago he says to me "I miss u" and I just said ok whatever, and a few days back he says to me "I know u love me"
I try not to show any signs of love to him, any other positive suggestions? And yes I'm going to lay low for awhile.

Yes we see each other but lately he has too much going on, he will be here in the summer for a week.

I see you've got this taken care of feb lol ^.^

Thank you all of u!!

Hmmmm.....I'm a cap so my opinion will be a little different from the aquas. Keep that in mind, okay?

First of all, I don't get the point of long distance relationships unless you have a long history together. Three years—? And you are still at the "friends" point? I'd question that. Why aren't you two becoming closer and making plans to move more in proximity of each other?

There is nothing wrong with bringing up "you promised to come see me". Nothing wrong with asking about those plans. It seems he got a little perturbed at the question. That isn't cool unless you were nagging him and pressuring him. Why is it he only told you about the death in the family when you asked about seeing him? Something is off with that. If this was a real relationship, he would have told you as soon as that happened. Therefore, it appears to me that you are placing more importance on this relationship than he is. Just a vibe I'm getting. I am sorry, but I just don't think he is as into this as you are. I hope I'm wrong, but from what you said, this is my opinion.

What I'm reading is that you are the one who contacts him. ?? How often does he initiate the conversation? After he went out with his sister, did he call you back?

From a cap perspective, beware of anyone who wants to borrow money, especially someone you're in a relationship with. Why IS he asking you instead of his family? You need to find out. Have they cut him off? Does he not know how to manage his money? Does he have gambling debts? Etc., etc.

I suggest, opening your options to some men who are more local to you. Start seeing other people so you can step back and see if this relationship in a different light and decide if this is really what you want.

Posted by truecap
Hmmmm.....I'm a cap so my opinion will be a little different from the aquas. Keep that in mind, okay?

First of all, I don't get the point of long distance relationships unless you have a long history together. Three years—? And you are still at the "friends" point? I'd question that. Why aren't you two becoming closer and making plans to move more in proximity of each other?

There is nothing wrong with bringing up "you promised to come see me". Nothing wrong with asking about those plans. It seems he got a little perturbed at the question. That isn't cool unless you were nagging him and pressuring him. Why is it he only told you about the death in the family when you asked about seeing him? Something is off with that. If this was a real relationship, he would have told you as soon as that happened. Therefore, it appears to me that you are placing more importance on this relationship than he is. Just a vibe I'm getting. I am sorry, but I just don't think he is as into this as you are. I hope I'm wrong, but from what you said, this is my opinion.

What I'm reading is that you are the one who contacts him. ?? How often does he initiate the conversation? After he went out with his sister, did he call you back?

From a cap perspective, beware of anyone who wants to borrow money, especially someone you're in a relationship with. Why IS he asking you instead of his family? You need to find out. Have they cut him off? Does he not know how to manage his money? Does he have gambling debts? Etc., etc.

I suggest, opening your options to some men who are more local to you. Start seeing other people so you can step back and see if this relationship in a different light and decide if this is really what you want.

Thanks truecap ......when I fell in love with him I didnt know what sign he was until later when I started reading about it.
Lol u can say aquarious are unique, u should start reading about their traits.

Well, I'm quite versed on aqua. My boyfriend of over one year is aqua and I dated two others before that. I also have some really good friends who are aquas.

Aqua or not, those are some red flags I threw out there for you to consider. Please don't think I'm not being supportive. I am trying to offer a different perspective.

Posted by truecap
Well, I'm quite versed on aqua. My boyfriend of over one year is aqua and I dated two others before that. I also have some really good friends who are aquas.

Aqua or not, those are some red flags I threw out there for you to consider. Please don't think I'm not being supportive. I am trying to offer a different perspective.

Wow u have lots of experience with aquarious .....sorry I didnt mean it that way, it's been a busy morning.
And your right in some ways for sure! I am definitely going to go LC with him, I shouldn't say he doesn't contact me, he does but takes his time. (He's one of those aquas that needs his own time and space)
Doing him a favor it wasnt a big deal it was a small amount, when he asked me we were not talking on a regular basis so I thought what the F***!!! Why me? Believe me ....I tried to make excuses but he would have an answer to my excuses. And as for LD he hasn't asked me to move there, so I don't know what he really thinks about me. He hasn't said those 3 loving words! Lol
He's confusing and it's definitely challenging, that's why I wanted a more insight to aquarious traits.
I have read alot about aquarious online.

Yes, they are confusing and frustrating. They are not for the weak hearted. I agree with you on that.

Don't let his being an aqua be an excuse for him taking his time contacting you. Being an aqua does not give him a free ride to be rude. If he's into you, he will be contacting you every day and wanting to see you as often as he can. And, remember not every aqua disappears. Time and space should come in short spurts like hours (6, 12, 48 max), not days or weeks or months. But then again, it could depend on their other placements (earthy ones will be reliable and dependable, watery ones will show emotions, airy ones are flighty and firey ones can be like a hurricane).

Remember this. Aquas like independent, direct, bold women with their own opinions and who are comfortable with themselves, as well as capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation. Mostly, Aquas are honest. Believe what they say good and bad. They won't be pushed into anything, but they do need to realize you have your own life and if they drag their feet too long, you're very likely going to be distracted by someone else.

Three years is a long time to only be this far in a relationship, ya know.

Thank you so much truecap!
It's like mood swings lol that he has, but yes when we do talk (on a regular basis now) he has a big smile on his face and alot of compliments for me.
I do realize he has lots on his mind at the moment
But yes I'm going LC and see how that goes

I have a question about Aquarious men, why do Aquarious men say and are sure maybe even a promise to go out on a date with u, just meet u ......and your left hanging sending him text(s) but he won't reply or even let u know .....I have to cancel?

And how would you handle that with him? (When or if decides to come back around)

Well, I would assume we're not going out. I am the type that would go out anyway just to prove a point. Grab a girl friend and go.

If you're still interested when he comes back around, just be friendly and happy to hear from him, just don't fall back into the trap. Let him make all the contact from now on. Don't initiate anything!!!

Bottom line is you will have to decide if he is right for you and if you're willing to tolerate this type of behavior. Look at it from that objective and you'll be happier.

Posted by truecap
Well, I would assume we're not going out. I am the type that would go out anyway just to prove a point. Grab a girl friend and go.

If you're still interested when he comes back around, just be friendly and happy to hear from him, just don't fall back into the trap. Let him make all the contact from now on. Don't initiate anything!!!

Bottom line is you will have to decide if he is right for you and if you're willing to tolerate this type of behavior. Look at it from that objective and you'll be happier.

Thanks for replying! Well this isn't the first time he's done this last few times I'd get mad even throw some mean words his way, but would feel aweful after. Last night I cleared it with him, are we still on for tomorrow? Yes we are for sure! Well I text him saying very calmly u must be busy....it fine, and next time all u have to simply tell me is that "u cannot make it" I will be fine with that.
I am going to leave him alone from now, I've really had enough! I am usually not the one to chase after guys .....this time I don't know what happened to me. 😢

Well I get a text saying "baby I was out busy ....lets go out tomorrow" so I just said its ok .....no worries with a smiley icon. (I'm surprised I got a text usually he doesn't)
So any suggestions advise? .....if he doesn't show up tomorrow?

It appears you just turned him down? Or I'm confused.

He said: Yes we are still on.
You said: You must be busy ....it fine, and next time all u have to simply tell me is that "u cannot make it" I will be fine with that.
He said: "baby I was out busy ....lets go out tomorrow
You said: its ok .....no worries

That's all pretty confusing whether you still want to go or not. If he doesn't show up, he'll think you're saying it's okay like nevermind.

—

Posted by truecap
It appears you just turned him down? Or I'm confused.

He said: Yes we are still on.
You said: You must be busy ....it fine, and next time all u have to simply tell me is that "u cannot make it" I will be fine with that.
He said: "baby I was out busy ....lets go out tomorrow
You said: its ok .....no worries

That's all pretty confusing whether you still want to go or not. If he doesn't show up, he'll think you're saying it's okay like nevermind.

—

Sorry ......I'm a bit confusing with all this. Well yesterday I confirmed with him last night if we were still on for today? And he text me back saying "yes for sure" so today I'm waiting and finally text him saying ...if your busy ....it's ok, and to next time just simply to let me know. And that I understand. (I'm done with throwing rude remarks his way, it always gets us fighting)
So a couple of hours later I get a text saying He said: "baby I was out busy ....lets go out tomorrow. And I said "it's ok ....no worries" if your not busy now?

I havnt got any text back for my text( "if your not busy now?") I understand that anyone can be busy, but just let me know!
So tomorrow if he stands me up? Any suggestions? Advise? Should I even text him asking him if he's busy?

Just see what happens. Don't text him. Let him take the lead for now.

Well I think I had enough! What's so hard about letting the other person know u have to cancel? I Really do understand stuff comes up!
But REALLY! I had a feeling it was going to be the same as yesterday and just sent a text sarcastically ..... "aww u can't make it .....next time"
There's no point in being rude, it will become even a bigger problem for me and I don't want to ruin my day just for the idiot!
That's it I'm don't with contacting him!!!!!!!!!!!

Did he tell you he couldn't make it or are you assuming because he hasn't contacted you about it?

Maybe he's to busy wants space or not interested, but why commit to a time/date and not show up without letting me know that he has to cancel.
I'm not contacting him anymore, but not updating the Facebook .....would that make him curious to what's going on with me?

He's done this before but that's when I wasnt aware how aquarious nature is, so if got frustrated and mad and throw rude remarks his way.
He didnt tell me that he can't make it same yesterday but text me a couple of hours that he was busy. And today nothing.

I wouldn't waste my time with him anymore. It's not an aqua thing, it's a rudeness thing. Honestly, I'm guessing he's just not that into you. Sorry.

U are probably very right! But it's also a LDR .....and that makes it more frustrating and challenging.
If he's not into me, I wish he would just tell me, yes his work means everything to him, he's Usually very busy with work.... It's like his passion.
When it does look like he's not into me, he turns around and makes it look like I'm the only one....it's all anout MEE!
And YES he can be rude! There's no question about that.

He's not telling you because he doesn't want to burn the bridge.

See, I just don't understand LDR's. They are too difficult and a lot of times, it's out of sight, out of mind. I don't see how they can be taken seriously for any length of time. You either stay in limbo or eventually you have to move closer to be together like a real couple.

I think you need to find some other options and start becoming interested in other men. You can see him still, just see other people too. One day you might start to think the more local guys are better prospects.

Just my opinion.

Thank you truecap! His first love is his passion for work and his family!
As for burning the bridges your probably right, and that's fine but don't give hope either.
He will do things that are just meant for me, and when hes rude and I think omg is this the same man.
Anyways I'm gona leave him alone.

Stay strong! I do hope it works out well in the end! 🙂