I feel like a robot

I feel more like a robot than I do a human. I feel feelings of course but I'm always the awkward one when it comes to trying to connect with others.

I stay single most of the time because when I get in a relationship and it starts to get serious I feel trapped and create obstacles. Which results in a break up.

When I am in a relationship I can be very loving but I can never express anything in words. Whenever words are involved I get annoyed. Yet, physically I have no problem expressing myself.

I'm just so exhausted with these conflicting emotions or lack of emotions. I find it so completely hard to just truly love someone to actually be able to feel it. And at the same time be able to keep it without getting scared and running.

How the hell is an Aqua suppose to deal with all of this?

Ah lammal have a hug!

You worded it pretty well there. Do you want a relationship? Can you deal with he respnsibilities of it? If not then your doing the right thing staying single don't sweat it!

lammal,

I just think there's generic prescription of love that is generally accepted and you're worried as lots of people diagnose weirdness level based off these generally accepted forms.

Air signs operate logically so they need to ride out emotions somehow but it is not a natural process so appears different...it is not, it's their way. You're wanting to operate in someone else's way, it won't work.

As fixed air, adjustment will not be easy so it seems more pronounced with you - when you find someone who can give you the space to sort out emotions, like antibling says, it's no stress and you meet halfway.

I honestly think some other signs scare some other signs with their definition of love - GOOD LORD ! I find the water signs way more complex ! 😕

IMO, actions speak louder than words --- plus I think Aquas like to be thought as different/unique anyway 😛

zoolander - Aww thanks for the hug. And I do sort of want a relationship. I want the companionship and someone to share good times with. It's just that I don't want to feel held back and limited and thats what a relationship makes me feel like.

antibling - I agree that it has to click in your head/heart but I'm always wondering which is more important. To love with your heart or love with your mind. It just seems like when too many emotions are involved then things get chaotic. But when you go about a relationship too professionally then it seems so empty and like a business arrangement. Yet, it doesn't get chaotic.

phono - What you just described hit it on the nail for me. I can get along with anyone and usually do great in group settings but once I'm alone with someone I feel so awkward. So out of place. Especially if they want to form some sort of a relationship with me. It just gets so frustrating because I honestly hate feeling that way.

zenalchemy - I think your right about people classifying love based on whats generally accepted. But how do you go about loving someone logically? I guess it just doesn't make sense to me. Maybe because love was always described to me as a feeling/emotion. Something that speaks from the heart and not the mind? Yet, I can't seem to feel it that way.

And yes.. water signs scare the crap out of me. But thats probably because they can see and feel things a little differently than me. Kind of reminds me of my weaknesses of what I don't have.

Wow! You aquas are so complex! Well I dated my first aqua and now i'm sort of gettin it by reading this! Its like you want a relationship but on your own terms! Your time your watch! You need someone who's in the mean time! Yeah so i'm a cancer and that is a lot to deal with when your looking for a relationship and companionship...

wow thx lammal23 now i can understand why aquas act cold

OFA -- That's a lot how I feel most of the time. I need so much space in a relationship yet, I'm always attracted to really emotional people. I think that is because I love having the fantasy fairytale moments and with really emotional people they can express themselves so well.

Except, it gets to be way too much for me to handle over time. They become extremely needy and constantly want "us,us, us" time and I'm like... "hello, there's a world out there! ya know?" It just makes me feel so sick to be so wrapped around one another.

I want the love, the moments, and the tingly feeling but I usually end up feeling claustrophobic because those darn water signs are way too intense!!! Is there a such thing as a happy balance?

Fallengiirrl - Yes, I've been in love before, but I'd consider it an unhealthy kind of love. I use to be an emotional wreck, but I think a lot of that had to do with the depo shot that I was on for so long. As soon as I got off of it, I wasn't an emotional wreck. So, back then I felt love for a guy who I was with for about three years. I was very jelious, possessive, needy, and clingy. Everything opposite of the real me.

Now, I love the feeling of having someone to share my life with and having those special moments. I've just never been able to express myself to the same extent as others. I feel very uncomfortable and always have. Most times previous partners would take me the wrong way thinking that I wasn't into the relationship as much as them. They were always expecting me to tell them how I felt when instead I was more into showing it. I enjoyed doing things for them even if it was something little. I enjoyed spending time and exploring something new together. I've always felt that actions speak louder than words. The problem was that many people need words as a simple reminder and reassurance. And usually, I wasn't the first to even say "I love you" and I usually wouldn't realize it until they would mention it. It's not that there is no feeling there. It's just that we have different ways of expressing it...

Also, I've always needed a lot of space for myself. That would also add problems because significant others would feel unwanted. Now, don't get me wrong.. I love spending time with the person I am with and I even enjoy including them into some of the things I am into.. but if its too much.. I begin to feel like I've lost a sense of myself. Sometimes when I think of love I think of it as the perfect drug. It starts off as the most wonderful feeling in the world. You begin to want more and more of it and eventually you find that it consumes you. That is where it feels like I am not me anymore because I revolve my life around my next "fix." It sounds crazy... I know. Yet, this is why I tend to be so distant. Because I try my best to balance my feelings and I end up using more logic than emotion.

phono - I get the same reaction out of people I've dated. They wonder why I'm so quiet or why I'm not being as loving towards them. It's like my moods switch on and off. Where one moment I have to be all close, cuddly, and affectionate. Then after a while I need to retreat to my batcave for "me time" otherwise I feel like my identity is defined as "us" instead of "me." And it's not saying that it is bad to be that close to someone, it's just that I don't want to lose touch with who I really am. It's hard to explain the feeling but I'm sure there are others out there that can completely relate. 😉

^^^ you're hanging out with incompatible people.

We sometimes strive to get along regardless of the obvious compatibility issues - it will take the life out of you !

There's a need to be fully aware of yourself, then your environment, then express...If you ignore the cues, it will backfire...

The air signs don't really understand humanity, humanity is highly subjective to experiences, perception, emotions not objective. Air objectively tries to fix the humane part as it is unpredictable and illogical.

If you talk to everyone with objectivity, they will feel you're trying to remove their core (emotions) and lash out the only way they can - through emotions, hence touching your emotions and hurting you personally, when you were not being personal to begin with, just idealistic - do you follow? 😢

We can't fully understand but we can live with each other. Not to force it or overanalyse - life's too short.

Each sign has good and bad - you cannot be someone else, neither can you REALLY get people to see things in your point of view in the long haul - only you can.

All signs have their good and not so great - like water signs being told they are too emotional, air being told they are too cold, etc...

There are people I have to mentally adjust my natural ways for more effective communication. However, I do it for a project, work, etc...the people I would spend my leisure time with, I HAVE to be myself. Otherwise, the depressive state comes in.

It is very very easy for air and fire signs to get suffocated by water and earth. Very different outlook on life and they are emotionally seasoned while fire and air can easily get the life wiped out of them via emotions as they live idealistic life style s.

I don't think you have a problem - we're what we are.

It's is not a problem for people not to get alone - imagine if we all did ! YIKES !

*get along

I'm sorry to hear that. I go through those kind of stages as well when someone has tried to dismiss my ideas for adventure 🙂 in my younger days, it didn't take long to make me go indoors for days at a time.

There's a time for everything, according to my mom - I interpret that as...there's a time to be idealistic, funny, sad, etc...for air and fire, as long as we have huge amounts of idealistic chit-chats, we're great 😛

Like yesterday afternoon, was talking to a Cancer about an idea I had for a gadget for my house, she basically clamped everything I was saying down in attempts to dismiss my idea...I replied "it may or may not work but let me dream, you kill-joy ! " 🙂 But I know to keep those type of ideas away from her in future.

I'm finding actually telling the people I communicate with how different we are helps a lot. If I have to make adjustments to my nature, I think everyone involved in the situation has to as it leaves everyone feeling more balanced.

you equate need to be alone to recharge as depression?

ha I'm sure a straight jacket can be arranged at your convenience !

why do so many people rely on you? if you're not jesus, a doctor, etc then trust me others are taking care of their needs through you.others think it's depression... I say it's abnormal to want to be around people 24-7! it's draining and you're never really yourself. you become a reproduction of those around you. th then feel very very lost. again I don't think you have a problem. just some esteem issues to resolve. oh and make sure you're not helping people for the egJ sake

*ego sakes.

he he then scream!
don't really want to be right just offering a diff perspective.

zenalchemy - Oh how right you are!!! Sometimes we just have to realize that we are incompatible with others and not be so down on ourselves or anyone else. Although, it can be so hard sometimes trying to find a nice balance. Sometimes I wish I could be more expressive like water signs. At the same time, some water signs that I know are just ChAoTic!!! It would just be nice to be able to find a happy middleground and also feel comfortable with it.

Sometimes, I wonder if we exhibit extreme opposites so that we are able to learn from each other and try to find that balance ourselves. I guess there wouldn't be much meaning to life without growth, eh?

There is much that I must learn to understand the people and the world around me and time my actions right so that I'm not fighting against the currents, but moving with them. Yet, me being the strong Aqua that I am, I struggle with this.. being that I strive to be unique because the feeling gives me freedom. I guess I just need to learn to look at the bigger picture of things and realize that my surroundings will be at much more peace and balance if I try to work with others than assume they operate the same as I do.

theskys - I've often had periods in my life where I've been the social butterfly and periods where people are looking around wondering, "Where did she go?" It confuses people so much, because unlike most people, when I need a break from the social scene.. it isn't just a day or two. It can be a couple of weeks to even a couple of months. I don't know if that is from being an Aqua or just being downright weird. lol... But overall.. yes, some of those times did contribute to depression. But for the most part, I needed those times to get lost in my own thoughts. It's in those moments that I daydream, I invent, I ponder, and I learn... which makes me the worlds nerdiest romantic loner. If that makes sense? Then when I get out of that stage and want some actual company, I always wonder why people are so mad at me? Probably because I haven't returned any phone calls in over a month? haha

Fallengiirrl - The previous guy that I dated, I tried to explain a few things about myself. He was very emotionally needy. At first, I loved that about him because I need someone more on the emotional side. They help me loosen up a bit. They also let me see how to connect in ways other than mentally. The problem was that it felt like there was no mental contact if any. After a while that makes everything feel fake and almost like a fairytale. Almost like the Disney movie, "Enchanted" where the girl was all about falling in love and the guy thought of love as getting to know one another. Of course, in the movie it showed the extremes on both ends, but I think it can paint a clear picture on how we view each other. The Scorpio I dated... was much like a guy version of the girl in that movie... In the sense that all he wanted was to expressing feelings of love and it began to feel fake. It wasn't fulfilling to me.

I'm not sure if a lot of Aquarians are like me, but I do have a lot of Aquarius in my chart. In any relationship sense, for me to open up it has to be more on my terms. If I feel like someone is pushing and prodding for information, I run. On the other hand, if someone sits down to have a casual conversation and asks me questions, I will sit down and enjoy the conversation. It takes time to fully start to show my feelings. I usually express emotions better physically than I do with words. In relationships, I tend to have a bad habit of forgetting to say, "I love you" first or if at all. It's not that the love isn't there.. it's that.. saying it doesn't produce much of a feeling for me. Laying down next to one another in bed, staring into each others eyes, and talking about our day gives me that loving connection. Followed by a nice massage of course. 😉 That's this Aquarian in a nutshell.

theskys - I agree, we do tend to be hard on ourselves a lot of times. I think people often see us as the hard ones that can take a lot throw our way. A lot of my friends come to me when they are having problems, because being that I don't open up much... makes for a great listener lol. I never know how to give much emotional support, but I'm usually good at helping people rationalize a problem. Overall, this is where I feel like the people in my life see me as nothing more than an ear, because they think things don't phase me. But let me tell you... when something bothers me, it can replay in my mind forever. I just never let it show. We are emotional creatures. We just haven't gotten out of the closent. lol