I had my suspicions...

I had my suspicions...

I have been deemed UNAPPROACHABLE. This Friday at a gathering of sorts a question was asked about me to some person I just recently met....

The first thing that comes out of said persons mouth about me is, "She comes off unapproachable..." He doesnt say it once, but several times (It doesnt help that I dont really like said person...maybe thats why I came off unapproachable.)

Most of the people in the room...guys mostly agreed with him though. Apparently Im too walk around with a smile on my fice at all times to even look remotely friendly/approachable...thats just plain weird.

Your heart is closed, men feel it, your not available, its not being said to diss you, its to make you aware that your gaurded and unapproachable which means check how your feeling around men, do you feel at ease, uncomfortable, what ideas do you carry around about men, is your heart open or are you harboring old wounds, when your approachable it means your not THINKING, your in the moment, open, available, approachable, sending good vibes.

I dont want any of those men.

I am fine around men, most of my friends are men. I generally do better with men than women.

Its not about wanting them, thats not the point, if they feel this energy then I'm sure most men that you hang with feel it also. It's just feedback, letting you know something isn't balanced. You say your fine but obviously something is off and they are the sign post to show you that. As long as you feel its nothing, thats all that matters.

Apparently I look mean when Im not talking or I have my Ipod in. I like being busy so when Im going about my life I do it with a purpose...so maybe I dont give off the approachable vibe nor do I give anyone time to approach me.

Generally if I see someone who I could have an interest for I know how to work them. Sadly, there hasn't been anyone Ive been interested in in a while.

tiki: I understand the feedback and I have taken it into consideration.

lol, why does your breathing get labored?


Its not the first time I've heard the unapproachable/intimidating schlemiel. My thoughts are the weak need not apply.🙂

I find for ME, not being present makes me unapproachable, focusing on my books, focusing on my bills, focusing on my personal relationships, wondering about whatever is in my head at the time and giving that my full attention hinders me from connecting with people, I have since tweaked it, now I can honestly say I have had some really wonderful experiences with people, I have had people tell me things I wouldn't have imagined, from there battles with overcoming cancer to giving me a great tip or just looking out for me, helping me in a friendly way.

I decided to get out of my head and really make a point to be present, sometimes I will have to remind myself to stop thinking when I'm doing absolutely nothing to when I'm in an airport waiting for the next flight or communicating with people, I am not that open with myself, pretty stingy lol, as rebellious as I am I still crave to connect with people on a deeper more intimate level.

My thoughts are my playground, its were I feel comfortable but at the same time it keeps me from connecting to things outside of me and creating and developing new possibilities...

Just something to be mindful of, nothing to take so serious..

"I am not that open with myself, pretty stingy lol, as rebellious as I am I still crave to connect with people on a deeper more intimate level."

same here. I'm never the approacher, but I wouldnt mind being approached and have a random person start up a conversation. It happens sometimes....and I have some of the most interesting conversations with strangers. I LOVE talking to random people.

Where I come from you always have to be on your guard when moving about (put on the dont F' with me face) and since coming to this place where people are generally much friendlier than back home I did make an effort to stop looking so intimidating but meh I guess not enough.

pfffft, call it what you like. BUT I wont ever approach a man in that fashion.

I remember when this crazy, maybe homeless, war vet started randomly telling me his life story when I was waiting for a friend one day. It was....interesting.

who cares what they say? fuck 'em.

i meant that metaphorically, but i'm sure sexing em up a little wouldn't hurt either. 😛

I don't get approached that much,unless it's the tramps and crazies

Same here 😄 Those of the exact guys that like to come around talk to me -- the tramps and crazies LOL!!!!

I have been deemed UNAPPROACHABLE. This Friday at a gathering of sorts a question was asked about me to some person I just recently met....

Thats so freaking annoying! I detest those who believe they know 'who you are' on first meeting. Its like, "look, don't make assumptions, you don't even know me."

lol, so this guy just met you and that his conclusion huh? Hahahaha, nice -- whatever.

Maybe your attitude changes when you met someone you actually like, you know what I mean 😉

LOL, that's why I generally put up the face, but I may be scaring off the little old ladies and the nice gentlemen callers 😉

"Maybe your attitude changes when you met someone you actually like, you know what I mean "

It does. 🙂 I'm very friendly. And the guy when he actually started saying something of substance he said after wards that, "When you speak to her she is very nice and friendly." So its pretty much its the way I look, prior to speaking to me.


I find the guy kind of arrogant and a know it all and maybe I did look mean, but like I said its not just him who Ive heard it from before.

I find the guy kind of arrogant and a know it all and maybe I did look mean, but like I said its not just him who Ive heard it from before.

Well, you've stated that you have your reasons for putting up your front, right? However, if you catch yourself doing this all the time, then there may be a problem there.

I agree with tiki, I actually started doing that (being in the moment/sending off approachable vibes) a while back. As well as use the ipod less.

I will make a conscious effort to smile randomly more often...

why should you change yourself for others? (unless its for the good,the move is fatal for us waterbearers,we can be born assholes,but thats ok😛)

hahahaha, born assholes you are, the only other ones that can match that quality are us cappies 😉 😉 😉

LM, move to England if you're not there already !

The ladies there carry more chips than HP from head to toe not just on their shoulders -
-actually feel so sorry for the dudes ! oh well 😛

If you are in the US, I wouldn't pay much attention to it ! Everyone there's just so happy all-the-bleeding-time --- tell me --- wtf's there to be so happy/chirpy about 24/7 !

hahahaha OFA - not happy internally obviously, I wouldn't know - but they all seem very approachable and chatty...externally. Even when they deliver bad news - it's in this annoyingly cheerful voice, then call you 'mam' - phsss 😢

Yes. my eyes have a lot to do with it as well...sometimes intentional, often times not.