I think i did a dumb thing........IDK,

Okay, i failed........HELP!
Seen Aqua and he rocked my world again yesterday, yes they do aim to please in the sex dept.(OFA sound familiar?)
Ummmm, not trying to TMI, he confusing me to no end, yet not.
I may have messed up, I don't fit into the "dream box" he has, I am done w/kids and he wants kids, I am ready to work towards retirement and calm, he is ready to engage in the American dream so to speak, LOL, so, I don't "fit" into "his" idea of his future. This is the problem, I got it finally, I got that is his problem, he wants me, I fit, most of what he wants, and the connection and feelings are there, he literally has to "put me out" or "be less than admirable" to make himself continue to think of me in a way that he can deal with ignoring what he is feeling. Does that make sense to you guys?
Two freaking years of this, two years, months of me stating the same thing over and over and finally, I got that he wants me forever, thus his "forever friends" yet, he cant find that relationship that is topping his feelings, Me? maybe? IDK exactly how to describe it........HELP? Course his huge ego would never let him say these things. I sure put it in his face yesterday,laid my cards on the table, I hope i didn't mess up any of the hard work i have put in to either engaging into this further or leave me out of what he is doing and allow me to move on as i keep attempting to do......I am so freaking weak to this man, I HATE IT! I am in a really vulnerable position right now, very bad bad bad situation, and man did i fall for all my own reasons, makes me feel weak, even though, i am really not a weak person, and not as weak to he as he will say or thinks......did i make any sense?

Example, he calls, he plays push pull and yanks my chain, i am stupid....let him, i am exhausted, lots of terrible things going on right now in my life. I reply to his mouth of game he spits, I am not disregarded by anyone like i am you, he says "this young hot body w/good D*ck, you should be happy i want to f*ck you" as i stated to him, i dont settle for less than what you are.....so dont think you all that sir, you are easy on the eyes, but dont think for one minute i am gonna be "thankful" you want to f*ck me, oh hell no, he says "i didn't mean it like that" yeah, that is what i thought, this kind of thing is constant with him, ugh, i hate that he cant make his words match his actions or his! It drives me Fudge NUTS! He will say, "you cool people" omg he makes no sense mouth-game

cake and eat it too, come on, really, really, for two years ........please......(smug eyebrow raised with head bobbin) LOL!

Are you a lot older tan him?

alot, idk, i guess that is a matter of opinion, yes, 41 i am and he is 32. I so would not see him for the longest, but he pursued me until i gave in....much like now still......man o man

OFA ~ ROFLMAO!!!!!
Its not that serious, but thanks a million! 😉

That is what he says UC...........among other things......yet this is the same guy i have told i dont want what he is offering me......"just sex" and he wont stop callin or contacting me or wanting me.....DAYUM! This is just B>S> can you tell i am a little flustered? Pissed? Tired of this game i dont have time for right now and so many other important terrible things going on in my life, F*cker, ewwwwwwwwwwwwww, he caught me so down........ERGGGGGGGGGGG!

UC~ LOL, your confused, imagine my confusion, and that is the problem, words dont match actions with this guy, this Aqua, !!!!! I dont mind as many details as you need or want for a educated opinion, i just dont like to TMI if not necc cause that detailed story teller gem in me will do it!

...too old for this BS.

PGA again?

Ok let me at him 😛

after I'm done with him, you're next in line madam 😛
You shoulda let the 19-yr-old at him...

Sounds like he voodoo-ed you...I got stuff for that too...need to find my recipe book...

Hang on - when they mean age, it's not relationship-wise only - I'm sure in all your years, you have been able to apply critical judgement elsewhere - relationships should not be any different, should it?

Well, found one of your posts interesting a little while ago

Can you elaborate on this? I dont understand, careful about what? And what side, the intimate one that cares or the flat out sexual one that is "its on" ? Cause I seen both and I don't see where the Aqua was really "careful" then I did see a side he was hiding. Help me understand, this is supposedly the best sign for me to end up w/so u can see my interest into the insight! thanks

SO YOU HANGING ON BECAUSE HE IS AQUA AND SUPPOSEDLY THE BEST SIGN FOR YOU TO END UP WITH?

PS: your post made sense in the "OH I LOVE DRAMA" sort of way and no one will do this for you but you...least of all DXP !

Im not just talking about this one thread, seems like the whole thing has been unbalanced from jump street.

zen,
dont freak me out, last year another friend whom i am currently staying with this week said the same thing about voo-doo, scarey, i actually had a few right after last year ask that if he was in to that? idk, i dont think so, but geeze, weird so many seem to think that, yes, its a spell, for me a freaking love spell, i wish i didnt care, it would be easy then to walk and not look back, but quite frankly, that is just not the case, and as i move on and see others and attempt to have a relationship w/another, here he comes..........weird sense of it really.

No i am not hanging on because of his sign, no no no, just made the reference as this is a astrology board and so many seem to have similar characteristics and i need to understand, that is my nature, and i do love this crazy man, although, it gets easier to ignore the heart and listen to the head every time he opens his mouth and i fall weak and regret it and lose another interested male whom i really was enjoying and being treated much better and more even playing fields, so to speak.

I dont love drama, i have alot of it in my life right now, most of it is beyond my control, i just get to deal w/it, mostly due to my family, my kids, etc.....job, business i own, least of all my personal life which i have really had mostly on hold and slowed way down to null for many weeks prior to all the drama. I was doing well keeping him (aqua) at bay where i needed him to stay as i attempted to move on, i swear he knows too much all the time about me when i dont speak to him.....its like the "voo doo" spell i was told about where they can see through your eyes or something, too weird for me......and another where they "bind you"?..idk.....

Starfish, yes, the same, i am sorry i dint answer sooner, thought i had it wrapped answered in another post........

Lady M, unbalanced is probably a nice way of putting this crazy train i keep getting into. I really don't understand why i give in when i do, i can tell you, that its not a priority in my life right now and its more under control than it reads, i am sure that is hard to believe, but that should tell ya how much i actually have on my plate......and how much i actually have learned patience and non judgmental, maybe too much or something, gosh, idk, i am just learning too, really....sharing and moving on through life......


A~ purpose? what is the purpose of any relationship? to fill a spot i have open in my life with someone i usually enjoy.....in all forms of relations......he can be that, when he chooses to be and that is when i am really moving away and on, and he knows it.......does that answer? or is it te purpose of bothering w/me? i can understand if that is your or someone else's opinion, i usually say until someone has had enough and is done the rest seems useless, that is not the case here, i have been done and moved on, he worked to get to this point again and did make a lot of effort and noticeable positive moves to do so......they just seem now to have been a skilled move to get where he wanted to get, but why so much work put into someone you "dont want to have a relationship with?"

lol - first love, now voodoo - when will this end?!?!

Seems like you've been over-informed

first love? you leave me at a blank........i dont believe i am his first love....i have not really thought about it like that, i realize the love i have, dont matta, it aint healthy for me, and i fight to let it go......

first you say "and i do love this crazy man"...then voodoo - which was a joke btw 😢

Take care

You did what you felt you had to do at the time....why worry about it now?? If it's meant to be it'll be but if it isn't at least you werent' tolerating sh1t you didn't want. Right?

Reality check, yep, i did what i wanted, and i didnt allow the "crap" this time.

zen, VOODOO is a joke to me, sounds like some freaky stuff, i dont know how you read me, but, whatever, i dont believe in it, but being in Texas, i can say i have met more folks in the last few since "katrina" from LA that do, i have GOD w/me..........

So, reality, he gonna mess w/me like he does, if i fall, oh well, should not consider anymore or anyless......right, let it go.

GOT IT! 🙂

bij~ You are correct, which is why i feel so dumb for falling weak, i just had to vent, let it go and move on again, which is not so easy.
No, he is not what i want, i dont want what he has to offer me.
And yes, easy "norm" relationship is what i want, and i am not settling for less than what i have expressed in the other post, emotions over thoughts, and what seemed like a DXP crucifixion, LOL 😉

Thanks, and yes, my wants are far from his offers.......