Learning..... :)

Hello all! I'm glad I found this place. I am a little astrologially obsessed, and it's nice to see that now have an outlet for it.

I've been seeing an Aqua guy for a little while now... and everything I read on this board is pretty much spot on with regard to his character...

However... there is one question that I haven't stumbled upon an answer for, and I'm hoping you can enlighten me.

I'm a Freedom loving Sagittarius, who may be falling for a much younger aqua guy. (Having never fallen before, this is new to me...)
He's always in my thoughts, (But I never let him know it...)

There is a two hour distance between us, so we only see eachother on weekends... and we rarely speak during the week. We don't even really make plans on weekends, we just have mutual friends and always end up running into eachother, and when we do it's magnetic. He is so affectionate with me, with little regard for the other people around us, and even though we've never discussed our situation, it's no secret that we are an item.

When I travel the distance to see him, it seems he would much rather hold me hand and stare at me, then have sex...and given that I have had some experience in being used for sex.. I see this as a good sign.

I guess my question is this...

If they are so unable of emotional displays, and discussions of feelings and such, then what counts? What are the signs and signals that I should be picking up on without having to have the conversation? I don't want to scare him away, so I won't be asking him what's going on with us anytime soon, (If ever) but I also want to have some idea that this could last... A glimmer of hope that this wonderful situation isn't going to end.

Sorry if that's too long, but I'm excited to hear what you all have to say!

Thanks!

Sadge22

"There is a two hour distance between us, so we only see eachother on weekends... and we rarely speak during the week.

and even though we've never discussed our situation, it's no secret that we are an item.

it seems he would much rather hold me hand and stare at me, then have sex"



Based on these statements, I am going out on a limb to tell you that he's enjoying the non-committment, don't have to answer to anyone, do his own thing, kinda of friendship with you.

You've never discussed with him the situation, and until you do, both of you will continue to think the other is fine with what you have. He will continue to enjoy the "fling"; you will continue to get frustrated and confused over his actions.

I hope I'm wrong, but without talking to him, you will not truly know where you stand with him and he won't know where he stands with you.

Thank you to you both.

How interesting that I seem to have two completely different answers from you! 🙂

I posed the question becuase all I keep hearining about is their inability to convey their feelings in words...

So I guess I was hoping for signs that didn't require conversation....

Go with Prime's advice: this is not all about astrology. If it were, I wouldn't be in a relationship with a Libra (Libra and Taurus aren't supposed to get along as he and I do).

Communication is most important in any relationship, whether you are dating him, sleeping with him, or just being his buddy.

You say you keep hearing about Aquas inability to convey their feelings in words - sweety, that's ALL men...

Touche....

🙂

I do realize it's not all about astrology... I'm just trying to fill in the blanks with different angles...

I guess I'm just struggling with whether I am 'dating him, sleeping with him, or just being buddies.' lol

*sigh*

you're friends with benefits until you get a clearer definition...

...and I suppose if I don't bring it up, it will remain as such?

now you get it...

"Don't ask, don't tell"
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her"

make sense?

I will say it again:

Communication is most important in any relationship, whether you are dating him, sleeping with him, or just being his buddy.

You have fallen for him and you don't know how he feels; that's probably the biggest confusion you have in your mind. Men and women think differently obviously and you and him are not on the same page. Until he gets to where you are, you are going to continue to feel confused, frustrated, and maybe even hurt or used.

Thanks Prime.

In that case, I'm not worried.

🙂

Thanks to all...

I certainly don't want to coax it out of him, and I have the patience to wait this out.. I just wondered if there was some insight you had into things I might be seeing.

you'll be back, sadge

LOL... you guys are great.

Don't sugar coat anything for me... I'm tough.

🙂

lol...me sugar coat?

sadge22...i think what makes you so attractive to this aqua guy is the fact that you have put NO PRESSURE on him at all. you don't call him a lot, you don't feel the need to always be around him, and you don't need to put labels on your relationship with him. basically, you have a very laid back attitude with him...and he probably LOVES that!!! your relationship also seems to be very spontaneous and "it just is"...which i am sure he really enjoys.
SO, i think you are doing everything right with this aqua, whether you realize it or not!

"Until he gets to where you are, you are going to continue to feel confused, frustrated, and maybe even hurt or used"

-yes, HP...i think this is very common in relationships. which is probably why a lot of women date older men, hmmm. that's where i go wrong 😉

WOW!! Thank you Moonchild! 🙂 I feel really good about the situation, and I will keep being me, cause I am quite comfortable with the way it is. ...

HOWEVER...

What you have written above describes our situation to a tee... but it also echo's every other CASUAL SEX encounter I have ever had lol, and that is not what I'm after in this case... I'm quite sure that I'm falling for this guy...

So even though Aqua's like things the way you have described (As do I being a Freedom loving Sadge) Is it somewhat safe to say that I am not being used for sex...

Your insight means a lot!

🙂

"but it also echo's every other CASUAL SEX encounter I have ever had lol, and that is not what I'm after in this case... I'm quite sure that I'm falling for this guy..."

-you can talk to him eventually about how you feel about him, but don't put pressure on him. just take things slow... he probably isn't only in it for the sex.

My honey is younger than me by 6 months.... 😛

I get the impression he's not... He doesn't strike me as the type.

I should probably mention that he is a lot younger then me.

🙂

"My honey is younger than me by 6 months"

-yeah, mine too 😉...and i give him crap about it ALL the time!!!

"I should probably mention that he is a lot younger then me."

-what's a lot younger— if you don't mind me asking...

I won't be asking him... so no worries there... I'll just wonder all the time. lol

We don't go to dinner, or a movie... cause that's not something I like to do.. I am a very out doorsy kinda person... so I like adventure....

When I saw him last weekend.. we spent 6 hours on a blanket under the stars...it was amazing, then the following day he took me to a spot in this really cool forest where he has gone for many years....and told me stories and showed me things near and dear to him... it was awesome.... we just enjoy eachother, no matter where we are...

"We don't go to dinner, or a movie... cause that's not something I like to do.. I am a very out doorsy kinda person... so I like adventure...."

-of course, you are a sag after all!!!

laying under the stars, huh...sounds very romantic to me 🙂

It was indeed....but in a non-romantic kinda way.

LOL


Thanks Moonchild... you're awesome!

Hey there Sadge22,
I'm in much a similar situation to yourself.... I been dating my Mr.Aqua for a couple of months (wondering an thinking an falling in lurve, hahaha it's how i found this invaluable board!!!) then he had to move so he's now a 3 hr journey away. I'm aries/sag. Ok so from my point of view.... all the wondering and contemplating does he/don't he like me scenario. To begin with I was bang on it an into him.... tho he didn't reciprocate so in my uncompromising,stuborn forthfight manner.... I basically said Fcuk an totally backed off, which made him run full force in my direction- woo hoo happy happy!! since then we been playing 'the game' u know thw one u did when u were younger (or in my case n e ways!!!) treat em mean keep em keen, if he thinks I'm going out he'll call, if he thinks i'm staying in he won't!! Obviously i'm not so experienced in the Aqua arena but for me the play it cool, keep him at arms length (the hard bit!) never ditch your plans for his altered itinerary - if you don't he'll be sure to acomodate!! is working for me just fine.
All the advice from the aqua board is great, has helped me deal with my situation no end, had it not been for this board i would have dumped him like hot coal simply cos i didn't know how to handle him!.... even though i do genuinely think he's worth the patient waiting...... Good Luck Sadge22 x I know signs aren't everything and the person is the person but Aquas (male)are definatley a whole different ball game!

"my question...does he travel to see you? or do you always do the traveling? does he make any communication effort?"

He is on call in his job and can't go more then 50 miles from where he lives... so the effort made is on my part for that reason...

Any communication we have throughout the week is him... I force myself not to message him or email him based on all that I have read about Aqua's.

🙂

I don't think I ever stated that we were dating. In fact I'm here to get some insight into where this may or may not be headed.

I've been used for Sex in the past, yet I am confident that in this situation, such is not the case. Our weekends together manifest through other people.. but during the week, he'll message me to confirm that I'm coming up....

It's very casual, and I have no problem with this.

He doesn't own a cell phone...

HE doesn't text me.

He has a home phone.

I'm note sure where you got the notion that he was texting me.

Makes me wonder if you even read the dialogue written here.

I do however appreciate your take on this. Thanks.

🙂

Thanks Spachtel....

Not to worry, I'm taking in this information based on the source. 😉

I am well aware when someone is clearly looking for drama.