Need urgent advice

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/apologising-to-aqua-ex-4988269/
Posted here before about how i was startjng to reconnect with my aqua ex

We had been talking quite a lot, and we decided to meet. I wanted to bring up the past and apologise (see above topic) but i thought id wait to see if he brought it up at all

He kept bringing up the good times, saying he had just come out of a rel which was rly messed up and it brought out the worse in him and that i brought out the best

And he kept bringing up things that i thought he had completely forgotten about

After some time he kissed me and we had sex and he told me he realised recently how he made mistakes with me, and wasnt open enough which he knew made me insecure etc

So i then apologised to him for my mistakes and we got on great

So i obviously thought the connection was still there or he liked me still

The next day we went out drinking but then disaster struck
We got quite drunk and i became rly quiet because i felt like he was being more distant and not as affectionate as the day before

He asked what was wrong and told me to talk to him, so i became rly emotional and told him my feelings were resurfacing and asked him what he felt for me

Then i started asking questions about his recent ex, whether he felt the same for her that he used to for me

He always always always used to say what he was rly rare and special,, but he wasnt telling me it anymore. And i wanted to know if he found that with someone else cos i havent

He freaked out by my freak out.... Understandably, i was very emotional, saying crazy things... Crying....

Next day he told me he cant be normal with me after what happened and now is so cold with me

I dont understand. I told him i still had feelings why he so scared? He had sex with me the night before, and he cant handle me telling him i like him?

Things r are in an awful state, and just done a 180 in 24 hours. We were getting on incredibly, better than ever... And then this happened

How can i fix this? He said he wants to be left alone, but im scared ive just lost him forever now

we freak out emotional scenes[crying, yelling, throwing words around...etc]...imo, this is what scared him, not your feelings...

my advice? i think you should let him cool for several days and then message him [not in person. that would make him feel cornered] that you have realised that was overemotional of you, but you are human and it was too much for you to handle at that moment, that you understand his hesitation now, and that you'll give him the time and space he needs as you need some too to regain yor composure.

at least this is how i'd like to be handled in such a situation. i don't guarantee a coming back, but it would be the only language i'd understand and respect.

sounds a lot like my ex who is a cancer??_.

my ex was my first boyfriend ever and even though we are not together its like he is my boyfriend still because we still have sex whenever we see each other and act like best of friends??_??_.its only when he starts to beg for me to approve the label of our relationship as together its when things start going downhill. You cancerians need to understand peoples space and understand that time with the person you care about is more important that them grooming your insecurities by being all lovey dovey all the time??_??_especially us aquarians with scopio moons don't ever expect us to be lovey dovey with you ever again after a breakup??_.well we can be lovey dovey in the sense of sex but not emotional investment.

he does like you and sees you as family and an important person in his life, but the second you stars getting demanding its gonna be difficult for him to reciprocate because we remember everything.

you should just be humble and happy to have him in your life

I was really happy to have him back in my life, finally after 4 years... I have always hoped he would come back because I really think he is the one for me

And when we first saw eachother I was really relaxed and chilled. But after sex... and then after drinking, I got scared that this didn't mean anything to him, and I didn't want to lose him. So I freaked. Which has completely scared him off

Now I have gone back to losing him... I dont want to lose him... I've apologised for my freakout, I've told him I will give him space... but I'm scared he will never come back... The high I experienced when I first saw him when he was being so affectionate and telling me such wonderful things about us, was just incredible.. and for it to end like this.. I don't know how to cope. I feel like I have lost the love of my life. I feel like there will never be another chance...

Posted by mz
we freak out emotional scenes[crying, yelling, throwing words around...etc]...imo, this is what scared him, not your feelings...

my advice? i think you should let him cool for several days and then message him [not in person. that would make him feel cornered] that you have realised that was overemotional of you, but you are human and it was too much for you to handle at that moment, that you understand his hesitation now, and that you'll give him the time and space he needs as you need some too to regain yor composure.

at least this is how i'd like to be handled in such a situation. i don't guarantee a coming back, but it would be the only language i'd understand and respect.

^ this is good advice.
It sounds like he really likes you, but the emotional outburst scared him and he probably doesn't want to deal with that type of drama in his life. By giving him a few days, it lets him figure out where he stands with you. As Mz said he might not come back, but he also might be willing to look pass it as well.

Posted by Aquadeer

Posted by mz
we freak out emotional scenes[crying, yelling, throwing words around...etc]...imo, this is what scared him, not your feelings...

my advice? i think you should let him cool for several days and then message him [not in person. that would make him feel cornered] that you have realised that was overemotional of you, but you are human and it was too much for you to handle at that moment, that you understand his hesitation now, and that you'll give him the time and space he needs as you need some too to regain yor composure.

at least this is how i'd like to be handled in such a situation. i don't guarantee a coming back, but it would be the only language i'd understand and respect.

^ this is good advice.
It sounds like he really likes you, but the emotional outburst scared him and he probably doesn't want to deal with that type of drama in his life. By giving him a few days, it lets him figure out where he stands with you. As Mz said he might not come back, but he also might be willing to look pass it as well.

click to expand

Thanks, I know I scared him.. but I'm afraid that I have scared him off forever... Is this possible?

I just can't over what happened, how things could go from soo amazing to soo bad in 24 hours.... I don't even understand how it happened, I was drunk and just behaved in a way that I didn't recognise... I don't even know who I was that night, but it seems that my old feelings just made me react in that way. I don't want him to think thats who I am now, some crazy person who cannot control her emotions at all. Sounds so pathetic. He can't be attracted to that

Thanks, I know I scared him.. but I'm afraid that I have scared him off forever... Is this possible?


It's hard to say, it depends on how he feels about you. After he's cooled down, talk to him and explain why you had an emotional outburst. As an aqua I know we can be more understanding on how people react to certain situations. However, we may or may not care, depending on how we feel about that person.

Posted by Aquadeer
Thanks, I know I scared him.. but I'm afraid that I have scared him off forever... Is this possible?


It's hard to say, it depends on how he feels about you. After he's cooled down, talk to him and explain why you had an emotional outburst. As an aqua I know we can be more understanding on how people react to certain situations. However, we may or may not care, depending on how we feel about that person.

I messaged him after what happened and I apologised for being overemotional but I was just very confused and it all got too much for me. And I told him I would give him time and space.

Its been a week since we last saw eachother now, and I keep hoping he will contact. I know I should let him reach out to me first, but what if I have scared him off forever? If I don't hear from him over the next few weeks, maybe I will reach out once a month has passed? What should I say?

Its been 2 weeks now... I sent the message and no response. nothing... is this it now? I don't see him coming round 😢

Posted by cancerrose
Its been 2 weeks now... I sent the message and no response. nothing... is this it now? I don't see him coming round 😢

In all honesty if he has disappeared more than two weeks more than likely he hasn't gotten over it or he's moved on i tell u what u want deep advice about the situation go to this website www.psychicaccess.com u will get six min free to try out u should get ur answers there

Posted by cancerrose
Its been 2 weeks now... I sent the message and no response. nothing... is this it now? I don't see him coming round 😢

It's really hard to say. Everyone is different on how they respond to someone. Hopefully, one of the aqua guys on here will be able to give you more insight. :/

When I disappear on someone I care about it's because of they way they're acting towards me. If I reach out and I feel rejected, I'll walk away. I rather deal with the pain of missing someone, instead of losing someone.

Do you think there's a possibility of miscommunication be either one of you?

Miscommunication, I don't think is the problem... He freaked out by me being emotional and expressing my feelings... Maybe he thought he could kiss me and have sex with me without there being repurcussions or growing feelings, and then maybe he realised he did have feelings but that he couldn't be with me.. .and when I revealed my feelings it scared him?

I don't know.... but I don't know how he could go from being so amazing to so cold in less than 24 hours, because all I did was reveal my feelings for him.

I apologised for being emotional, yet he didn't emotional for being so cold and horrible. I've heard nothing and I don't think I will. He said he's really messed up at the moment and he can't be in a relationship, plus the fact I live so far he says its impossible and doens't even want to think about it.

But if you have feelings, if you have a connection, if you have chemistry, if you have attraction.... how can you walk away and be so cold to that person?

Don't be so hard on yourself though!! Keep your chin up and know in your heart that you've done the right thing (apologized) but now it's up to him. Look on the bright side, if he's not ready to get back into a relationship again, he's doing you a big favor by pulling away. I know it doesn't seem like it but he might be saving you from further grief.

Keep yourself busy!! Do something for you, pamper yourself.

Thanks! 🙂 I have pulled back now, and have no intention on contacting him now. The ball is in his court.
It's just very hard to forget about him, I miss him.. and I honestly feel like he's the one for me, even though right now is not good timing..

I want to use this space and time to work on myself, I want to learn to control my emotions and learn to give him space...I love him unconditionally, and it breaks my heart if we may never speak again. No matter how many years pass, no matter what we go through, no matter who else I meet... I will always feel the same way about him, I will always feel a connection with him

I don't know if he feels the same way, and if he does, I don't think he could admit it to himself... he would quite happily ignore his feelings because his mind tells him that I live too far away, even though I would move to be with him, and whatever other reason there is...