new page: did i sleep with him too soon...

for those who didn't follow my posting on "did i sleep with him too soon"

we slept together on our third date, which is way early for me, cuz i don't know him that well; when i told him that, he volunteered that he is not sleeping / dating anyone else. i asked if he were to date, can he tell me, he agreed.

we continued to have great sex. i'm falling for him. then i saw him at a party last tuesday, i was very drunk and basically "harrassed" him in his language. i called him a player who was picking up girls. he played it cool and left. he said he'd call me the next day and never did. i met a lot of guys that night and always, many much more attractive and successful, but i just want to be with him, and nobody else. he didn't even ask me to go home with him that night. i do feel bad about freaking out, i was going thru some hormonal stuff, but he doesn't know that.

he hasn't called since then, then i saw him out with another woman. looks like the one he descibed, by the way, i'm 10 years younger and much prettier. i was a model up till a couple of years ago. i also have an IQ of over 160 with a good job. i just can't figure out why he chooses her over me. i acted a little psycho and drove by his house a few times and realized she was there the whole weekend! i guess that could be a good reason to dump me.

i don't know if that was his girl and he was just using me for sex, or he just found someone new. haven't heard from him at all, nothing. i emailed him on friday about some work qeustion, he answered and promised to help me and flaked. i wonder these are all the signs he's telling me that he's no longer interested.

i don't know what to do. i miss him so much even to a point where i think i could settle myself just to have sex with him once in a while and let him be with his girl. i even think that over time, he'll eventually be done with her and have more feelings for me. i'm better than her in every way in magnitude. except for a few things, i'm sure she doesn't hassle him, she probably has more money cuz she's divorce and pays for stuff, according to him. also she let him know what he wants.

he told me about this woman was his "friend" he never slept with her cuz it's not a good fit for a relationship.

i want him, i don't know how to get him.

some friends say to leave him alone and move on. im dating other people anyhow but it's painful.

i almost want to just call him and see if he wants to hang out and put everything on the table and tell him that i know he's dating and i'm ok with it; i'll date other people too. at least that way, i'll ease off the distance and finally realize im not really in love w him.

some say, he'll come around and i should just wait and play cool when / if i see him again. i'm afraid he'll never call cuz i know when they become emotionally severed, they don't see a point of saving it. plus, he spends so much time with his girl, he doesn't really need to see me. so maybe i should initiated and give him a chance to ask me to see him.


don't know what to do?! i do feel like im in this predicament b/c i didn't just roll with it. because he lead me to believe he could give me more and i want more. if he was honest with me, i'd might be ok with it from the beginning. i just want to be with him at any capacity i know it sounds pathetic and i'm worry that he might sense that and lose interest anyhow.

thank you. it's so hard, day by day. i have the urge to call him.

im not all that, but objectively speaking, i know i'm more physically attractive than she but she's probably never harassed him or demand him of anything. i do get a lot of better guys after me, a lot, but always turned em down.

this guy is like kind of chubby but cute, not rich but comfortable. just everything together, i want him so bad. i think he didn't think he was gonna get me; now the table is turned. he knows i was falling for him hard. so he just dumped me. it's painful. cuz i had a very bad break up a couple of years ago and this is the first time, i'm really into someone and had sex; which is probably why it means so much more to me than him. i wish he could understand me.

oh well, ur like my other friends and told me to just let it go.

Oh dear... I will share with you my opinion from what I have read from your post and me thinks that he has possibly become aware of the lack of esteem that you may have of yourself.

This is what I am personally picking up from his actions towards you.

"don't know what to do?!" -----> aprial, I know that what you are going through doesn't feel too good at the moment with this guy however, I think it may be best for you to chalk this one up for experience and move on. Maybe take some time to reflect upon the choices you made - see what you may want to consider doing different next time.

Best wishes to you~

well, it is painful to be rejected especially when i like him so much. but on the other hand, it's not totally settling. i love the sex with him and i was just thinking that i could turn the table around by making him my bootycall while i date other people and just be honest wtih him if he asks.

he might lose respect for me and think i'm slutty but the truth is i want the relationship and the sex but if i can't get both, i don't mind getting one. call it low self-esteem if u like. i think now i'm over 30, i can distinguish the difference in need between love and sex. so he's not gonna love me, i'll find love elsewhere; meanwhile, we can have fun.

but if he's lost interest in me, he wouldn't even want to sleep me, that'd be pretty sad. i'm afraid to find out.

i read some other posts and they say that if an aqua man senses emotional weakness or attachemnt, they run. so do they come back?

how can you tell if it's over or they are just being distant?

do you call them and find out or just wait?

after this one, i'm not going to venture into this territory again. just can't handle it.

From an astrological POV you did the worst thing possible for an Aqua male, you went CLINGY on him. I doubt he will be back and even if he does it will probably just be because he knows you're available and will give him what he wants, i.e. sex. You'll simply be an "easy" option should he not have anyone else.

It's not a good situation, as SF says stop selling yourself short and find someone else. Allowing a man to use you for sex (especially if you have deeper feelings for him) is not healthy, and if you do already have low-self esteem this will only make you feel worse hon.

also, it's obviously that i'm kinda pathetic and willing to settle for less. it's also that at the beginning i thought i wanted a relationship with him. i was hurt to find out that he was lying and mislead me.

but over time, i thought the sex was good, so i could scale back on the expectation of the relationship and just get out what i like. of course, you are all right that, i could get more tangled emotionally. but i could also get more distant if i start dating other guys.

there are pros and cons in the situation. i'm not head over heels for him anymore. i think i just don't want to rejected out right and be out of his life completely. but the positives of that is that i can move on faster.