No matter what I do, I just don't get him!?

So I've taken everyone's advice. I've been going with the flow and made sure I was the initiator and was the "example" for him to follow, but no matter what I do, he doesn't seem as enthusiastic or talkative as he usually is with mutual friends. He doesn't act like he's ignoring me because he's not. Whenever we do talk he's nice, friendly and he listens but he doesn't try to keep the conversation going either. Which only makes me not want to try less.

A part of me knows he acts like this because I don't treat him like I used to treat him or how I treat everyone else but that's only because of him not trying hard. If I asked him, he'd say it was because I'm not trying hard.

The other part of the problem is I'm not a talkative person, but I used to be always talkative with him because he always brought it out of me, but now that he seems to be unrreactive, it makes me unreactive too.

Can someone shed some light on this because its upsetting when I hear him ask people what they are doing on the weekend and he'll ask them right in front of me but never asks me. It makes me sad. I know he's not trying to be mean or make me into an outcast, but I guess he's a reactionary guy and reacts to how people approach him first?

Any tips to get an Aqua guy to be more social, because it seems like he changes his behavior based on how I am but doesn't change his behavior based on how other people act towards him?

I hate to answer your question with a question BUT... are you a fixed sign?

Posted by xdimplez

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
I hate to answer your question with a question BUT... are you a fixed sign?

astroprejudiced rawr

click to expand

Hey its a legit question!
I'm not prejudiced ^.^
Honest..

Well I guess its a job well done for people to be deflected from my assholeness! I consider it my selfless contribution to humanity.
I consider my face a job well done!
😉

Mystified it doesn't seem like you both are compatible. If it's not flowing naturally there really isn't anything you can say or do.

Don't be so bipolar, be consistent, be happy, be social, be open and he'll most likely mirror you but if you have to do all of that to get him to be more social then it's probably not going to work.

@IAmMystified
Yep fixed Sign as I thought... I must be a genius... I mean the zodiac says it is so ^.^
Anyways, I finally figured out your sign from your post history! No thanks to you!
😛

I'm sorry but you have unfortunately found one of the deadly attractions of the zodiac. Scorpio and Aquarius are very attracted to each other BUT have difficulties at understanding each other AND the worst part is that it is both of you guys fault for this haha!

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
@IAmMystified
Yep fixed Sign as I thought... I must be a genius... I mean the zodiac says it is so ^.^
Anyways, I finally figured out your sign from your post history! No thanks to you!
😛

I'm sorry but you have unfortunately found one of the deadly attractions of the zodiac. Scorpio and Aquarius are very attracted to each other BUT have difficulties at understanding each other AND the worst part is that it is both of you guys fault for this haha!

True! Oh very true... Lol

Possible scorpio and aquarius relationship I hear?

ABORT NOW!

This message has been brought you by an aquarius with TWO failed previous scorpio "relationships"

You have been warned.

Posted by Bsmurray
Possible scorpio and aquarius relationship I hear?

ABORT NOW!

This message has been brought you by an aquarius with TWO failed previous scorpio "relationships"

You have been warned.

It can work but, the Scorp is gonna have to be really mellow about the Aqua's quirkiness. In turn the Aqua is gonna have to show some consideration for the Scorp's clingy ways. Compromise is key or their love story is gonna end up on Investigative Discovery.

Thanks everyone who posted. I am very fixed, emotional, goofy and sensitive. He doesn't see those sides anymore ever since this whole issue started. He probably liked that about me cause we used to be extremely goofy and exuberant with each other.

But now, if we are around each other. I keep to myself or with certain mutual friends as a defense mechanism because I'm afraid of being disappointed by him. I do wish when we are with our group of friends he'd seek me out like he used to and randomly act silly. But he doesn't, he focuses on everyone else. He may bring me into a conversation he is in but only when he wants to make a point about something to someone else.

If you ask him why is he like this now he'd say it was me that I act like I don't want to be bothered by him or that I don't want him around or etc but that's not the case. I adore him completely but everytime I've tried to approach him (which is hard anyway because I'm a shy and passive person) and he doesn't react enthusiastically like he literally is with everyone else.

I know like he isn't trying to be hurtful or mean but it's like someone said that we both view situations differently and both are making it worse.

But I know there is a strong potential for this to be fixed because even he'll tell you that when things or good we click better than anyone he knows.

I know I can definitely work hard in being more attentive and showing I do appreciate his presence because like I said I try to do my own thing to not seem clingy but I guess it looks to him like I don't want him around. Any other tips?

Can i say as an Aquarian I absolutely it when I'm around people and they expect me to entertain them somehow??_..like I have a friend who lived up the mountain and he would always stay at my house for a couple of days because it was closer to town??_.and he would just not sit down??_.constantly walking all over the place wanting to do stuff while I'm just chilling out reading a book and he expects me to go places with him or talk about stuff??_.and I just can't give my time away to someone who is demanding of me??_.I want to have to need to do what I want to do??_.anyone who comes into my space and starts to make demands is going to really really piss me off??_..however when I visit my friends houses I'm a completely different person, I like to act crazy??_.so maybe give the kid some space and wait for him to come to you??_.your playing an impossible game of "friends" and its just silly really

I don't wanna say it can't work. Hell I think if you could get to an understanding it would possibly be one of the hottest matches in the zodiac par none.

First you are going to have to ask yourself...
DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS?

This relationship if it EVER gets off the ground running... will probably have the HIGHEST HIGHS of any you've ever experienced but also at the cost of having the lowest lows.
😢

I agree the idea is too compelling to pass up but here is the main problem outside just the fact that these two signs communicate differently. You think you can control him! You will NEVER control him! He may bend to your will from time to time but you will never EVER feel like your in control!

Scorpio is all about control and being able to have power over their environment. This control is what makes you feel comfortable. Aquarius is all about controlling nothing or anyone but they expect you not to try and control them in turn. Accepting an Aquarius as they are and engaging their mind is what makes them feel comfortable.

I'll say this though Sagittarius and Scorpio women are the women who could get an Aqua to bow down on one knee so fast its probably disturbing ^.^

Don't ignore him... Trying to be anything but forthright is going to get you nowhere. Thats not going to help. Just stop being so sensitive about how he reacts to you. But you won't be able to because that is just how you are. Your easily offended while Aquarius is not... but damn you think a Scorpio is vindictive, you should see an Aquarius react to someone being rude for the sake of being rude or someone being treated unfairly. LoL, I turn into your worst nightmare if you do that shit.

yeah...
the men are different from the women, definitely.

if you can't be yourself, then what's the point??

trying to "get" the person due to rules and regulations isn't gonna cut it.

Posted by xdimplez

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
@IAmMystified
Yep fixed Sign as I thought... I must be a genius... I mean the zodiac says it is so ^.^
Anyways, I finally figured out your sign from your post history! No thanks to you!
😛

I'm sorry but you have unfortunately found one of the deadly attractions of the zodiac. Scorpio and Aquarius are very attracted to each other BUT have difficulties at understanding each other AND the worst part is that it is both of you guys fault for this haha!

ermagahd...oooh youuuuuu. staaahhhpppp eeetttttt 😛 :lol:

click to expand

Yeah I guess Genius was a bit of a stretch ehh!

Posted by IAmMystified

But now, if we are around each other. I keep to myself or with certain mutual friends as a defense mechanism because I'm afraid of being disappointed by him. I do wish when we are with our group of friends he'd seek me out like he used to and randomly act silly. But he doesn't, he focuses on everyone else.

He does this because he thinks YOU are annoyed with being around him... He is most likely trying to prove that "Hey cool I'm happy and just fine without you"

^^^Aquarius men take pride in this.

You have your defense mechanisms we have ours.

AND THIS IS WHY I SAID THAT IT IS BOTH YOUR FAULT FOR THIS NOT WORKING.

Both of your fault and his fault*

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Both of your fault and his fault*

I dont know...

she needs to SPEAK UP.

she is not confrontational enough to tell him straight to his face what she feels that is bothering her.

she is side stepping the problem and therefore, here she is...when it's clear as day that all she has to do is tell him what she feels is problematic.

i dont know what her placements are, but OP is just ranting away what could easily be taken care of...


the man is NOT in a relationship with himself is he?? If he wants to be IN a relationship then be in one!!! not alone.

oh I thought they just wanted to be friends and not in a relationship??_.I doubt he would have any romantic feelings for her??_??_..if i liked someone they would definitely know it

Oaky true Lisaburth 🙂

But

Scorpio women are exceptionally good at making men uncomfortable though. Or at least making them feel that the scorpio is uncomfortable at being around them.

Either way miss mystified... you can't play mind games with this guy. Your emotional pull is strong but the one sign you will have the most difficulty getting reactions from is Aquarius.

Why would you want an emotionally distant man anyways?

Lmao @ both IS & NotYourAvgAquarius.

^_^

oh jesus. heehee.

Hey now I don't try to control anyone intrigued scorp!

I may if I'm interested in someone pursue them and if they react strangely to me... THEN I will do certain things to see how they respond. I'm not trying to control I am merely trying to get to the truth period.

I wouldn't think of that as control? Control would be prolonged indirect suggestion being utilized indefinitely.

I don't HAVE to feel 'in control' I just have to have positive reinforcement and feel appreciated.

I am mutable dominant though so...

You want to know peoples motivation

I want know there methods

^.^
I suppose there is some truth to this but I have a lot of water in me.

I will admit to trying to control a conversation to facilitate me getting my point across. I am guilty as charged in that department.
😄

Okay I do things MY WAY fine...

If making you accept that is 'control' then I guess I am controlling *shrug*

Whats funny is in my final management class for my second major of college (don't ask), I totally did not jump to be the leader of our groups business YET...

I don't trust any of them enough to run and make the decisions to compete competitively with the rest of the class. I mean 40% of my damn grade is dependent on how well we outdo everyone else. So, naturally I am the one making all the decisions.
😄

And until list decision set year... We were the only group in the class who still had an A. BUT some vindictive (I suspect a scorpio wink wink*) bid his product under cost in one area of the market just to guarantee he underbid me. Just to fuck us over I swear... He had it planned out so cleverly haha. With all the shoes he sold he barely did better BUT HE DID. Like the mentality had to be "If I'm going to get a C or a D then EVERYONE is getting a C or a D"! LoL!

I'm still contemplating how to get him back hahaha.
😛

I think scorps just likes to think aquas are playing mind games some times. Like seriously. Minding my own business as a kid and my mum would go nuts for no reason. Silly scorpios.

What are you guys conversing about in the first place? If its the same old shit about friends, family, food, movies, technology whatever then no wonder hes ignoring you. Try being a little more interesting. Ask his take about worldly events you read on the newspaper or watch on the news.

...Or he just wants you to get on with it and fuck him already hahaha but you takin too long and he gettin impatient.

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
I don't HAVE to feel 'in control' I just have to have positive reinforcement and feel appreciated.

I am mutable dominant though so...

As an Aqua I have to agree with this.

Control does not turn me on like say Scorps. Positive reinforcement turns me on, lick it up like kitty milk.

If a woman is up and down with an Aqua well we are FIXED so she has to be the one to get off the scenic ride of bipolar hell.

Positive reinforcement. If a person responds positively to bad behavior well an Aqua well continue on with that behavior good or bad b/c she's demonstrating by her reactions that it bothers her but at the same time she's continuing to go along with it.

Take a step back! Distance yourself and remain consistent with that, we'll eventually get the hint that our bullshit isn't so seductive anymore and he'll calm down.

Scorps engage to win, to control, to master a person in and out which is fine for an Aqua, we get bored and it provides mental stimulation, unfortunately Scorps don't know when to back up and stop providing that delicious mental stimulation which is not good for Scorps who want to own and possess (eventually).

We will not allow ourselves to be possessed, it's not in our nature to allow it.

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by IAmMystified

At one point i stepped into another room for a good chunk of time because I got an important phone call. When i came back a long time later, next to my stuff I saw a tiny xmas tree all decorated with gift cards and ornaments as decorations. It must have cost him at least $ 80- $ 100 + far more expensive than his $ 12 box of chocolates he gave everyone else. I was both happy at such a sweet gift but at the same time I was pissed off becuase of how he gave it to me. He yet again couldn't just give it to me like a normal friend, like how he gave it to other people.

It wasnt because he didn't want to make people jealous becuase they all saw him give it to me. So its not like he was trying to secretly give it to me. But it just pissed me off that he waited 5 hours and he didn't give it me to my face.

Tha'ts what i'm talking about. Making me feel bad all the time.

I found this info buried in all of the other stuff.

Are you blind??

smh and lol

click to expand

Found this in your first post about this guy...

Like I said you are not helping your situation.

Another thing too.. WHILE Aquarius is seemingly emotionally distant they are not unemotional. I mean I discussed this with phoenix on the Scorp board not long ago.

Aquarius in my opinion are very sensitive BUT they will never let you know. EVER lol

Like its a cardinal sin for them to do so.

This not to mean in a relationship they are not warm and emotional in a healthy relationship.
More like when there isn't a commitment or a relationship has not formed yet or when one is breaking away they will act like nothing phases them.

@IAmMystified don't think he doesn't miss talking to you or that he isn't hurt at the distance between you. If anything he could very well be more hurt by it than you are...

Think about it... Aquarius feels like no one gets them... Then you come along and they feel so engaged, SO accepted, SO understood. And to boot your some sexy Scorpio Momma who is actually intelligent too! I'm sure from his perspective he felt like he hit the jackpot haha! I know thats how I would feel.

Then you take it away...

OR you say the WAY HE IS NATURALLY hurts your feelings... To which this Aquarius would translate into you not accepting him for who he is... which is mutually hurtful to him.

It is a continuous cycle.

So wait , he gave Mystified a gift and she wanted to control how he gave her that gift? Happy and pissed ugh, Like I said, incompatible.

You're coming across as an ungrateful person. An Aqua won't waste too much time on that. Eventually an Aqua will lose interest. Don't like petty people.

No I think she just wants him to be more upfront about his feelings and not treating it like it's some closet relationship if it even is one. That was the whole point of the thread iirc.

Posted by aquasnoz
No I think she just wants him to be more upfront about his feelings and not treating it like it's some closet relationship if it even is one. That was the whole point of the thread iirc.

THIS.


sometimes, some people get way wrong messages. I don't see anything wrong with what she asked. She is just NON confrontational.

and he sounds very NOT in tune to her feelings. That's how it is.

NOT emotionally compatible because they can't even feel out anything. It's ridiculous.

Posted by tiki33

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
I don't HAVE to feel 'in control' I just have to have positive reinforcement and feel appreciated.
I am mutable dominant though so...

As an Aqua I have to agree with this.
Control does not turn me on like say Scorps. Positive reinforcement turns me on, lick it up like kitty milk.
If a woman is up and down with an Aqua well we are FIXED so she has to be the one to get off the scenic ride of bipolar hell.
Positive reinforcement. If a person responds positively to bad behavior well an Aqua well continue on with that behavior good or bad b/c she's demonstrating by her reactions that it bothers her but at the same time she's continuing to go along with it.
Take a step back! Distance yourself and remain consistent with that, we'll eventually get the hint that our bullshit isn't so seductive anymore and he'll calm down.
Scorps engage to win, to control, to master a person in and out which is fine for an Aqua, we get bored and it provides mental stimulation, unfortunately Scorps don't know when to back up and stop providing that delicious mental stimulation which is not good for Scorps who want to own and possess (eventually).
We will not allow ourselves to be possessed, it's not in our nature to allow it.

click to expand

Maybe NOT for you. But i am married to one and don't mind one bit at all. I would RATHER be possessed by my husband and it feels good.
stop trying to say "aquas" this and "aquas" that, cause in REAL LIFE i know of at least two couples of this pairing and one is long term too and for celebs quite a few too.

But it's NOT to say it's good for most of us. or SOME of us.

it's all about who you love and how you love it in a relationship.

Obviously some of you all want too much freedom. Allright already, stay single.

Haha Lisabethur, I am not single AND I'm dating a sign that likes to control.
😛

I think this matchup is more successful when the Aquarius is a Female though... Just my opinion.

Like I said I think it would be great but someone is going to have to compromise. And chances are that will never happen.

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Haha Lisabethur, I am not single AND I'm dating a sign that likes to control.
😛

I think this matchup is more successful when the Aquarius is a Female though... Just my opinion.

Like I said I think it would be great but someone is going to have to compromise. And chances are that will never happen.

Doesn't matter. Plenty of sun sign relationships FAIL and they're supposedly compatible. Nothing in life is a guarantee. Just live one day at a time and go with it.

Plus, when you talk about Scorpio woman, it's as if you're reminiscing about how hot it would be.
Like, Hot Scorpio Woman...this and that. "If only..."

Go to the Cappy board if you want to exclaim HOTNESS....in a "cool" way. 😛

that's who you should be loving, right?

Wow Burn

Well I do go there lisa.
I go most places actually.
This just happens to be the 'Aquarius' board.

And my cap is HAWT 😄

Don't need to crucify me to the cross!
I'm just trying to be honest and positive.

Posted by IAmMystified
So I've taken everyone's advice. I've been going with the flow and made sure I was the initiator and was the "example" for him to follow, but no matter what I do, he doesn't seem as enthusiastic or talkative as he usually is with mutual friends. He doesn't act like he's ignoring me because he's not. Whenever we do talk he's nice, friendly and he listens but he doesn't try to keep the conversation going either. Which only makes me not want to try less.

A part of me knows he acts like this because I don't treat him like I used to treat him or how I treat everyone else but that's only because of him not trying hard. If I asked him, he'd say it was because I'm not trying hard.

The other part of the problem is I'm not a talkative person, but I used to be always talkative with him because he always brought it out of me, but now that he seems to be unrreactive, it makes me unreactive too.

Can someone shed some light on this because its upsetting when I hear him ask people what they are doing on the weekend and he'll ask them right in front of me but never asks me. It makes me sad. I know he's not trying to be mean or make me into an outcast, but I guess he's a reactionary guy and reacts to how people approach him first?

Any tips to get an Aqua guy to be more social, because it seems like he changes his behavior based on how I am but doesn't change his behavior based on how other people act towards him?

Looks like this friendship has grown stale. Things won't come easy anymore because the natural flow of the friendship is lost.

You are asking us how to make him act in a way you would like to, when before you probably didn't even have to try because it was so natural. But the thing is, you can't make him do anything and there's nothing we can advise you to do about that. All you can do is to be yourself and hope for the best. Sooner than later you will know whether if this friendship is really worth it or maybe it's not and you can do better than that.

@aquanoz hit it on the head. I'm not trying to control how he behaves per say but how he is "now" makes me feel like I don't exist. It's gotten to the point where I don't know how to act anymore.

I'm pretty sure he feels the same way but I'm just dying here. All I need is a how are you, a compliment , a smile once in a while.

Someone remarked about the Xmas tree I wasn't trying to dictate how he gave it to me but it hurt when I knew he gave a Xmas present to everyone and there I was for hours with nothing. Then the moment he gives it to me, he leaves it with my stuff.

That's messed up. It hurt and it made me not even want it.

Why couldn't he just give it to me like the way he did with everyone.

I do want to add what NYAA said earlier. Things were great before. What I'm sure he liked was we were similar in our goofiness and I liked his weird self plus we clicked intellectually. He always pestered me, joked with me and was interested in knowing more about me and vice versa.

These days? Nothing. He doesn't ask me anything about anything. When we are with friends more than likely I'm the only one he doesn't talk to. It's awkward and I don't know why, he stopped talking to me as much first

I have talked to him about it and he says I stopped talking to him first. So I mustered up all the courage my shy self had and forced myself to be the initiator. He barely talked back, smiled or laugh?

Eventually it just accumulated in disappointment and I just became so afraid of trying I tried to not approach him much as a way of not getting hurt and it just got worse.

There are days where we will talk but it isn't the same. One day I was being nice and I saw that he was putting stuff a friend of ours was giving away in his trunk so I automatically helped without saying a word.

As a joke I said "There your crap is loaded" (he's heard it before - no big deal)

He said "Don't you mean OUR crap?"

And I said, "Er no yours."

Anyway I thought his statement was weird. Why he said it was both of ours.

Anyway saying weird stuff like that and acting like I don't matter is just driving me nuts.

"I'm not trying to control how he behaves per say but how he is "now" makes me feel like I don't exist."

Pay attention to how you feel. It doesn't matter what he's doing or not doing but what matters the most is how he makes you feel and how you feel when you're near him and/or around him.

Give it some space mentally, emotionally and physically so you can get some inner balance and then see what happens.

At this point nothing he's doing is making you feel good and it's bringing you down inside and that kind of emotional can only make matters worse.

You may not want to leave it along but that's your only option at this point. Keep beating a dead horse won't make it breathe again.

Who knows what happened, it doesn't matter, what matters is he's not doing any of the things he used to do, he's not available like he used to be and you don't feel good about any of it.

No more trying, just let it go and see if he'll come back your way.

"Maybe NOT for you. But i am married to one and don't mind one bit at all. I would RATHER be possessed by my husband and it feels good.
stop trying to say "aquas" this and "aquas" that, cause in REAL LIFE i know of at least two couples of this pairing and one is long term too and for celebs quite a few too."

Of course I can speak for all Aqua's. Why? Because I can lol

I myself am married and I choose to be possessed by my husband, it's a rational choice or I wouldn't be married.

Single Aqua's buck at conformity, if we want to be possessed we will allow ourselves to be possessed but it does not always come natural nor feel natural, it has to be something we deeply desire from that one certain individual.

Trying to possess an Aquarius male is challenging, he's not easy to tame and he'll only become domesticated if he chooses too, it has to be his choice and not necessarily about what she's doing or not doing.

Mysti can do nothing to change any of this as long as she's TRYING to change it.

@tiki33

I've even done that too. I've left him alone and did my own thing. What happened?

He either got upset with me cause he felt like I was purposely ignoring him therefore having "attitude" as he called it.

Or

He kept joining every conversation I was in and started talking to the person I was talking to, thinking only conversing with the other person was his way of talking to me too?

@tiki, no you can't speak for all because you're NOT me or the next person who is one born in jan/feb.
it's offensive. because while i do agree on few things you say, i disagree with alot of things you do say. although, i'll respectfully say that you do so with good intentions.

Posted by tiki33
"Maybe NOT for you. But i am married to one and don't mind one bit at all. I would RATHER be possessed by my husband and it feels good.
stop trying to say "aquas" this and "aquas" that, cause in REAL LIFE i know of at least two couples of this pairing and one is long term too and for celebs quite a few too."

Trying to possess an Aquarius male is challenging, he's not easy to tame and he'll only become domesticated if he chooses too, it has to be his choice and not necessarily about what she's doing or not doing.

Mysti can do nothing to change any of this as long as she's TRYING to change it.

I don't know...because i've seen some earth and water sun lasso in an aquarius man easily. It really all depends, though and the placements and upbringing/situation.

in this case, the OP i'm guessing chose a really clueless aqua man who doesn't know anything about women and their needs. OR he just doesn't like her, which i feel he should be confrontational about it, and not lead her on.

Posted by lisabethur8
@tiki, no you can't speak for all because you're NOT me or the next person who is one born in jan/feb.
it's offensive. because while i do agree on few things you say, i disagree with alot of things you do say. although, i'll respectfully say that you do so with good intentions.

LOL

Last I checked I'm grown, I can do what I want and say what I want.

I'm not here for you, I'm not seeking your approval and I don't need you to agree with any of it.

Lisa this isn't about you, I'm not sure why you're making this about you.

A simple you can't speak for me Tiki will suffice. We can agree to disagree and move on from it.