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castiron
@castiron
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 5 · Topics: 1
Any aquarius advice out there? Started dating an aquarius whose company I love! And yes, I fell in love with him. Not romantically or mushy, but as a person. For who he is. He'd kissed me goodbye and said that he loved me a few times, and I finally said it back. He didn't believe me. And then, after what I admit was a mistake after a bad day, I snapped at him for not talking to me. I apoligized when I had time to think and now he is ignoring me. I'm so frustrated. What the dickens is going on with this man? He said he loved me. And now I get the silent treatment because I had a bad day and snapped at him? And what do I do now? I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. My instinct is to give him a good old fashioned butt chewing. But that's hard to do when he won't talk to me. Seriously? Any insight into this insane behavior?
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
Yep you did what a lot of women do, they express there feelings, it all gets real and she gets scared, feels insecure and anxiety sets in when he's actively disconnecting from the woman to get his head straight. Most women panic when this happens, honestly you pulled away from him when you took your bad energy out on him and he's reacting to that by distancing himself, he's instinctively staying away from conflict, your emotions seems out of sorts, nothing he can do about that but leave you alone until you get yourself together.

Your behavior is equally insane, many women don't realize it's not okay to throw out all these scary emotions onto men, it makes a man feel your going to be hard to be with in a real relationship, once a man see you act out of control they start to associate you with the negative stuff men talk about when women aren't around and it's hard to get out of that box and that is why you feel your walking on eggshells, but you can only blame yourself, if you had the ability to control your fears you would not be going through this right now. You don't snap at people because you feel out of control and anxious, that's not being mature, no man wants to be around that kind of insane energy and most men don't want to always end up nurturing your feelings because you feel bad for whatever reason. This is one of many reasons why so many loving connections with women and men are lost in the beginning stages of relationships, someone gets scared and fucks it up. Now this guy is in doubt about you, your emotional outburst is a turn off, it kills the level of attraction and there really isn't anything you can do about it but wait it out to see if the love was strong enough to get beyond this.

You can tell him how you feel but that comes with a level of maturity, honesty and vulnerability.

If it were me I would say something positive FIRST, I would say how we shared a special moment together when we both expressed love for one another and I would say how it made me feel inside and with all those great feelings came the scary feelings as well, I wasn't prepared for those scary feelings, I didn't mean for those feelings to spilling over onto you and I sincerely apologize and will make a conscious effort to not allow that to happen again...I'm available to talk when your ready.

The level of softness may open him right up, he may take a few days to get back to you but DONT' panic, go find something else to do until he shows back up and he
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
Well one, just b/c an Aqua guy is in love with you or loves you doesn't mean that their list of petpeeves or "Don'ts" go away. He can love you all day long but if you do something that will turn him off, he'll treat the situation like he would with anyone. Aqua men stray from anybody that they feel cannot control their emotions; they could care less whether or not the person out of control is their friend, spouse, co-worker or family member. Their dislikes don't change just b/c they have feelings for someone. You admitted yourself that you made the mistake in letting your emotions get to you & hey, I'm not gonna sugar-coat things; when you did that, you messed up & ESPECIALLY if this was your 1st time doing so. It'd be diff. if this guy grew to really love you & knew that you sometimes took your emotions or "Bad days" out on him..if he was used to that from you, he wouldn't be ignoring you. The fact that he's ignoring you prob. means that do to him not being used to this, he's still gonna point you for anything you do that turns him off. When you snapped on him, you showed him your ugly side; the side that Aquas hate to show within themselves to others AND the side that they hate seeing coming out of others, especially when it's not their face. If there's 1 thing you oughta learn about Aquas is that, when we haven't done anything wrong, we won't feel bad for the person snapping at us or relishing anger on us for something we didn't do. We'll just simply label it as a temper tantrum, walk away & let the person feel like an idiot for trying to hurt our feelings/go off on us. If he really loves you alot & truly understands you, he'll be back. But understand that Aquas don't often let their judgment get clouded by emotions. Him ignoring you & walking away (even if just for a few days) is his way of proving to himself that no matter who it is, he won't put up with any signs of clinginess, jealousy, rage, possessivness or any fringe on his freedom or space. If I were you, I'd just wait it out & calm down. If he comes back & you relish your anger on him AGAIN all b/c he was man enough to give you your space & let you calm down, you'll just deliver another BLOW/strike against yourself
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
Sure, you can always tell him that you didn't appreciate him simply ignoring you b/c regardless of zodiac sign, ignoring someone is not the BEST form of communication when it comes to friendship/relationship disputes. BUT, don't just be a cannon that's about to explode either. When & if he decides to come back & face you again, don't be so quick to blow up; after all, it wouldn't make any sense to make the exact SAME mistake you made the 1st time which got you in this situation (if you do, you'll just turn him off AGAIN & the next time, he might NOT come back). When it comes down to Aquas, we don't chase after the other person if we were not in the wrong from the beginning. IN his mind, he prob. feels that YOU messed up & that YOU need to make things better. IF not, he'll just continue to ignore you. The WORST thing you can do at this point is go off on him again or let your emotions get the best of you when and if he finally comes back. Like I said, their turn-offs never change or go away just b/c they're in relationships. They don't like what they don't like & they mean it! Don't be so quick to look at his all of the sudden distance as an insult. Think about it; I'm sure he DOES love you but you are not his wife & he is not necessarily obligated to put his standards down for you. So him walking off is just him protecting himself from any further scorn. Part of the reason he's prob. cut off the communication with you is b/c he fears that you'll do just what you're thinking about doing: giving him a piece of your mind all over again. And if you showed any kind of non-trust or jealousy all b/c he didn't contact you, understand that he's not the only person that's gonna run like hell when he sees signs of jealousy, emotional instability, etc. He's prob. doing what most of us would do in order to protect ourselves from further disappointment. So, don't be so quick to take his distance as an insult. Put yourself in his shoes. You wouldn't necessarily kiss the A of the person that wrongly took their anger out on you either
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&2gedanow
@&2gedanow
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1236 · Topics: 58
Posted by tiki33
Yep you did what a lot of women do, they express there feelings, it all gets real and she gets scared, feels insecure and anxiety sets in when he's actively disconnecting from the woman to get his head straight. Most women panic when this happens, honestly you pulled away from him when you took your bad energy out on him and he's reacting to that by distancing himself, he's instinctively staying away from conflict, your emotions seems out of sorts, nothing he can do about that but leave you alone until you get yourself together.

Your behavior is equally insane, many women don't realize it's not okay to throw out all these scary emotions onto men, it makes a man feel your going to be hard to be with in a real relationship, once a man see you act out of control they start to associate you with the negative stuff men talk about when women aren't around and it's hard to get out of that box and that is why you feel your walking on eggshells, but you can only blame yourself, if you had the ability to control your fears you would not be going through this right now. You don't snap at people because you feel out of control and anxious, that's not being mature, no man wants to be around that kind of insane energy and most men don't want to always end up nurturing your feelings because you feel bad for whatever reason. This is one of many reasons why so many loving connections with women and men are lost in the beginning stages of relationships, someone gets scared and fucks it up. Now this guy is in doubt about you, your emotional outburst is a turn off, it kills the level of attraction and there really isn't anything you can do about it but wait it out to see if the love was strong enough to get beyond this.

You can tell him how you feel but that comes with a level of maturity, honesty and vulnerability.

If it were me I would say something positive FIRST, I would say how we shared a special moment together when we both expressed love for one another and I would say how it made me feel inside and with all those great feelings came the scary feelings as well, I wasn't prepared for those scary feelings, I didn't mean for those feelings to spilling over onto you and I sincerely apologize and will make a conscious effort to not allow that to happen again...I'm available to talk when your ready.

The level of softness may open him right up, he may take a few days to get ba
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&2gedanow
@&2gedanow
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1236 · Topics: 58
Posted by castiron
Any aquarius advice out there? Started dating an aquarius whose company I love! And yes, I fell in love with him. Not romantically or mushy, but as a person. For who he is. He'd kissed me goodbye and said that he loved me a few times, and I finally said it back. He didn't believe me. And then, after what I admit was a mistake after a bad day, I snapped at him for not talking to me. I apoligized when I had time to think and now he is ignoring me. I'm so frustrated. What the dickens is going on with this man? He said he loved me. And now I get the silent treatment because I had a bad day and snapped at him? And what do I do now? I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. My instinct is to give him a good old fashioned butt chewing. But that's hard to do when he won't talk to me. Seriously? Any insight into this insane behavior?



You'd better be fantastic in bed 🙂
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
You can have imperfections and flaws but your emotions are yours not his, if you flip out because you feel insecure any man will lose attraction for that kind of woman not just Aquarius men because it says you have low self esteem (EVEN IF YOU DON'T) your instantly considered drama/a huge pain in the ass because your not secure and can't seem to be okay when men pull away, pulling away is one way men separate emotionally mature women from emotionally immature women and be mindful that a woman that can be controlled is not attractive to most men, if you let men determine how you should react by how they behave then you allow men to control you and it sends an immediate effect of loss of attraction because truthfully his actions should not make you lose your cool, I mean think about it, would you feel closer to a man that flipped out every time you distanced yourself, what if you just need some room to breathe and he began losing it all over onto you and exposing all his fears and anger when you need some space to live your life and at the same time begin to balance things between love and life?? This isn't about being good in bed although that is a huge plus with Aqua men, it's really about you being unable to handle love and blaming him for it.

Once people declare love for one another everything shifts from not so serious to serious and some men really aren't prepared for that no matter how much they say I love you. The pressure that comes with not only saying those words and yet once reciprocated can make a man run for the hills.
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castiron
@castiron
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 5 · Topics: 1
Lol. I hear ya, I hear ya. In the time we've been together, I've been very patient and understanding about his schedule and job when they've come between our time together (often). I demand nothing from him and am just happy for the time we do have together. Our interaction today was very brief, but was there, which gives me hope. I do love him as he is and can't imagine being with anyone else. The distance thing is different for me but the time we spend together is well worth it. I promise...no more emotional moments of insecurity from bad days. It's a fairly easy promise, because I have one a year. I can list every single one over the past 8, not counting the year my grandmother struggled and lost to cancer.

If you love it, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be.

Thanks for the butt chewing! I kinda like you guys.
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&2gedanow
@&2gedanow
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1236 · Topics: 58
Posted by tiki33
You can have imperfections and flaws but your emotions are yours not his, if you flip out because you feel insecure any man will lose attraction for that kind of woman not just Aquarius men because it says you have low self esteem (EVEN IF YOU DON'T) your instantly considered drama/a huge pain in the ass because your not secure and can't seem to be okay when men pull away, pulling away is one way men separate emotionally mature women from emotionally immature women and be mindful that a woman that can be controlled is not attractive to most men, if you let men determine how you should react by how they behave then you allow men to control you and it sends an immediate effect of loss of attraction because truthfully his actions should not make you lose your cool, I mean think about it, would you feel closer to a man that flipped out every time you distanced yourself, what if you just need some room to breathe and he began losing it all over onto you and exposing all his fears and anger when you need some space to live your life and at the same time begin to balance things between love and life?? This isn't about being good in bed although that is a huge plus with Aqua men, it's really about you being unable to handle love and blaming him for it.

Once people declare love for one another everything shifts from not so serious to serious and some men really aren't prepared for that no matter how much they say I love you. The pressure that comes with not only saying those words and yet once reciprocated can make a man run for the hills.



You think like a man ... major turn on ...
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
Sweety no one is saying that you have to be perfect in order to date or be with an Aqua. What we ARE saying though is that it's no secret, men are entitled to have their "turn-off's" list & if you do/say anything that activates the "run like hell" button in them, then just woman up about it & take the possible loss. Women too, don't like to be penalized, judged or yelled at for something beyond their control. That's not just men, that's people in general. No one is saying that you have to be perfect in order to get AND keep this Aqua's attention, but it's no secret that 1 of the 1st reasons men will stray from women is b/c of open bouts of jealousy, possessiveness, clinginess, etc. That's not just Aqua men, that's alot of men in general. We may not like it & we can justify things all day long but all that matters is that when dealing with men, they are entitled to want to stray if they see something in a partner that they do not like. Sure, everyone has their bad days. And there's nothing wrong with openly venting your anger, BUT if you ever want to take this thing further with him, the 1st thing you've got to stop doing is taking it out on him or automatically assuming that he's doing something when really it's all in your head. Hell, most people are innocent until proven guilty. That's just the nature of dating/friendships/love, etc. You would've been better off taking some space away from him when you were angry, & telling him WHY, just for the purpose of making sure that he knows that you'll talk TO him and not AT him just b/c 1 little thing goes wrong or doesn't go your way. Aqua men are very strict about that. Communication is everything to them. The fact that he responded to you does mean that he's prob. not going to cut you off but don't make "taking it out on him" a habit either. Don't take him coming back to you for granted b/c Aquas, like anybody, will only tolerate so much. And depending on what he's been through in the past, all it might take is 1 little slip up for him to walk away from you. It is what it is.
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
He might love you all day but you two may not be at that level where he will easily let the "turn-offs" slide. It's like the difference between 2 people who are just in a relationship vs. 2 people who are married. When you're just in a relationship, sure you'll let things slide sometimes BUT when you're married, you'll let ALOT MORE slide. And that's mainly b/c what people tolerate/walk away from depends on how deep the level of communication is in the relationship. For example, if my boyfriend of 1 year cheats on me, I might walk away in a heartbeat & never look back. BUT if my husband & father of my 3 kids cheats on me once, I might handle the situation alot differently. So the point I'm making is that, yes it's okay to have flaws, BUT at the same time make sure that his main turn off doesn't happen to be 1 of your flaws. For some people, all they need is that 1 time to see a "red flag." And sometimes, when people see "signs" or "red flags," they wont' necessarily stick around to find out. One guy I was dating back in the day showed the signs of an "emotional abuser." Out of the blue one day he just blew up & started showing those good ole "signs." What'd I do? I ran like hell & never came back. Sure, him blowing up so fast could've just been a 1 time deal or something that he didn't mean to do, BUT at the same time, I didn't want to stick around to find out OR experience a 2nd round either. He got mad as hell & even questioned my loyalty BUT I didn't feel guilty either b/c everybody is entitled to run away the minute they see "signs." Like they say, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck & quacks like a duck, It probably IS a duck. Sure, some women that randomly get emotional or clingy with a man may not be that way as a person, BUT let's be honest, most people only shows hints of things b/c that's how they REALLy are. For all you know, this guy might've dated several girls who did the same thing you did, BUT turned out to be living nightmares, thus the moment he saw the same "signs" or actions in you, he might've felt he was better off walking away instead of reliving the past or experiencing the same future nightmares
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castiron
@castiron
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 5 · Topics: 1
Heard all of you and just wanted to tap in to say that we talked and everything is great. As far as calling him arrogant or anything of the like, I may talk big but in life, I'm a bigger person than that. That said, he admitted that he had some blame in not calling back when he said he would AND thanked me for apologizing for my snapping. That's the reason he trusts me and he knew that it was out of line in comparison to my previous behavior. He is a good man and I think we are going to get along just fine. I'm not irrational or crazy. I just had a bad moment in time. Thank goodness he can see me as a human.
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
Well thank goodness that he came back & forgave you. We're not saying that he's the devil & that if you mess up, he'll never come back. BUT just keep in mind for future reference that Aqua men & men in general don't particularly plan on getting used to taking the blaim for something they didn't do NOR do they ever feel content behind closed doors in being someone's punching bag. The next time you are frustrated with him, talk TO him, and not AT him. Explain as careful as you can how you feel. Communication is everything. When an Aqua can see that their partner can put their pride down & not let their emotions take over all the time, they'll grow to respect you so much more & this happens b/c they know all too well how hard it is to do such a thing, especially when you're hurt, confused, angry or irritated. The next time you have a really bad day, he still might pull the "distance" thing BUT hopefully the difference next time is that you'll atleast know that you didn't do anything personally wrong to him to make him walk away (even if just for a few seconds.) There is nothing in the world like a clean conscious. Good luck!