Only for the bored Aquarius who like to read...

and give advice. Kind of lengthy.

Just to give you some back story, I was chatting with this guy online, Aquarius - Pisces Venus - Moon Aries. (Me: Virgo, Venus Libra, Moon Leo) We chatted and texted a bit and then he asked me out. He would go I would say 2-3 days between texting and I didnt mind because at the time I wasnt thinking THAT seriously about him. Then he asked me out - it was the best date I had ever been on. After that he was still doing his pattern of a day or two between but kept telling me how great I was and awesome etc. He asked me out again, then he cancelled and I didnt take it so well. When he cancelled I just said: Ok he responded - I feel bad 😢. I responded - good. After that communication basically stopped full stop. Im not the type to keep chasing but I sporadically text him a few weeks after that but with no response from him so I just let him be. That was in May-June.

Time passes and a little after my birthday (Sept 2) I text him and he started texting me like CRAZY. Apologizing for the disappearing act and explaining himself. I didnt think too much would come from it but after that he would text me everyday and all night/day. Showing me things he had done and things he was into. We went out (his initiation) several times after that and in my mind things seemed to be progressing nicely. Then last week he made three plans and cancelled all three and after the third I kind of asked him why/called him out on it. After that his stopped initiating. He responds well to my texts and often they last all day but now Im confused with how to progress. He's even sent an intimate picture (kind of comical) picture of himself to me this week.

I know that Aquarius like to be left alone and that they like to take time so should I just let him be? He had been hinting that I should take him out and he even mentioned hanging out again (that he had a gift for me) etc but he hasnt said anything. I guess I got spoiled to him asking me out every Friday & Sunday and now that's stopped. So far this week I decided to text him and although he's responded I feel like there's a little hesitation on his side after me asking him about canceling those three times, or rather I asked that if he did if he would give me more time. Nothing worse than being ready and then suddenly he text - Ahhhh I cant make it.

We've gone out after that conversation (I asked him to go to the museum with me - after he took me to dinner) so how should I progress?

(CONT.) Perhaps Im over thinking it but I dont want to deter him from asking me out again (I noticed that since the cancel talk he has not asked to hang out...just mentioned it...) and I would like to continue with our friendship even if it doesnt turn romantic. I mean, he has cute friends lol. Anyway - any advice on how I should proceed? I was just going to stopped texting him full stop and wait awhile before checking in to restart the energy that we had before. Should I or...?

Any words of advice are welcome.

Do you really want to pursue a man that isn't that into you?

Posted by tiki33
Do you really want to pursue a man that isn't that into you?

I didnt think that? Hmm from that you think he's not? I guess looking at it from that perspective then perhaps hes not. However like I said - I got mixed feelings. The communication lags but then he takes me out again? I guess. Either way I've never been the type to chase chase unless I thought it was worth it. Perhaps if this week doesnt go well I may let it go.

Well for you it was the best date YOU'VE ever been on and yet if the feeling was mutual he'd have not only asked you out again but he would not have cancelled on you, it's not the first date that really counts, it's what men do AFTER the first date, if he stood you up without making it up to you then he's not that interested in you.

Listen, men that know they've found the one won't do anything to hurt his chances of getting another date, the mere fact that he asked you out, only to cancel on you means he most likely found a better date and has other things on his mind and thus didn't feel the need to follow up with you after cancelling on you, he said I feel bad and never came back around. Who does that? A guy whose not interested does that. You contacted him May-June and he DID NOT ANSWER YOU BACK. Who does that? A guy that's not interested does that. September roles around--he's hot again only to go cold again. Who does that? A guy whose not interested does that.

It seems now he's full stop not doing his part, you asked him out to the museum and afterwards NOTHING, he hasn't asked you out, he's done nothing. Well unless you like stringing yourself along I suggest you quit doing what you're doing or he's bound to peg you as being desperate and once that happens, he's out for good, men want to be challenged and once he puts you into the easy to get category he's done. So I suggest you get out there and get social and date other men, forget him for now, maybe he'll step up once he realize you are not going to chase him down for a date.

I would suggest you stop initiating contact, you've done enough reaching out, it's like a game of tennis, if he's not hitting the ball back to you then it's not a mutual game were you both are winning. Maybe you like chasing men I dunno but this guy isn't that into you.

LOL wow. I guess perhaps being happy in the moment made me not look at this way. I just figured you had to give Aquarius guys patience but your advice seems pretty strong in the opposite of doing that. Ive already said to myself that Ive initiated enough. As you pointed out. Last week he didnt initially contact me at all which was a first so either you're right - he's seeing someone else or may be too busy. Regardless I guess Ill give him his space. I reached out and did my part so I guess its up to fate now whatever happens. Ive actually not been talking to other guys because I wasnt interested so for the time being Im just going to hang out with friends and probably go back to living in the gym lol. But thanks for your advise once again!

I'm not saying don't ever date him again, but you want things to feel BALANCED and be balanced or you'll begin to feel edgy and anxious and once you lose your edge you just end up looking desperate even when your not desperate at all, just happy and ready but some men perceive that kind of energy as something to stay away from, the nudging him into it type of energy could push you to chase him which is not a good look. Give him space, don't focus too hard on someone whose not focused on you at all.

Focusing too much on ONE guy makes a woman appear needy and desperate because she's completely focused in with her full energy and it's not even a real relationship yet, this can turn a man off real fast. 2 things could be going on and the only way to find out is to let him initiate--do his part, 1)He's attempting to not appear too interested which can turn women off, men know if they appear too eager it's a wrap, a woman's sex drive and level of interest dwindles. 2)He's just not that into you and the only way to know is to let him initiate.

If he's interested he'll come to you and you'll feel a lot less stressed about what to do because he'll be doing a lot of the leg work if he's interested. Be patient, it'll happen if it's supposed to happen, good luck!

Im not looking into making accusations but stop feeding the girl crazy feminist ideas, im doing the things that dude did to you to a girl I REALY LIKEng any chance of , and you know why? Just beacuse i found out recently my sister got cancer and even if I like this gal alot, everytime I plan to do something about it, something comes up. On the other hand i cant tell this girl the situation i am in you know why? Cuz she means more then a mercy hump for me. When the time is right ill just come clean with her and if she is ready to accept it its fine by me if not thats fine too, just beacuse life is not fair and not everything turns out to be as you planed it would. Sometimes life is a bit more complicated. One thing is for sure I dont know how to tell her to let me alone for the time being without completely loosibeing with her, so I choose to ignore and explain later. And yes, im an aquarius, im a dude, I know of my problems and i choose to solve them by myself and accept the consequences, ignoring does not always mean not liking someone, just means i need to be left alone for now.



PS
Pardon my english im not a native english speaker

@ecseedah

I can't even imagine the amount of pain you and your family are going through. I'm sorry and I understand that you may want to ignore what I, a stranger, want to say about this.

I think you and me are quite alike. I'm an Aquarius as well but I think I'm this way mainly because of my Capricorn placements. My loved ones mean a lot to me and I don't like burdening them with my issues. Sometimes I choose not to say anything because this way they don't get worried. And I know I can solve those problems on my own. However there are times when life lets us know our limitations. We are mere human beings, not freaking Atlas! Sometimes we have to rely on people because there are things we can't do by ourselves. Also when our burden becomes too much for us to handle... people start getting really worried. And if we don't say anything, things start getting worse and worse. Some will decide to move one and leave us alone, but some will stay to suffer because of our selfishness.

So what to do then? I see two ways of dealing with this:

- If we REALLY need those people and we trust them, then we should rely on them. They are most likely suffering and they want to know what's happening. If they mean that much to you, then they deserve to know about your pain. Not only you will feel better, but they may also come up with a solution you haven't thought of.

- If they don't mean that much to you or you don't trust them, then make them a favor and cut them loose. It's just very unfair and selfish to keep them in a limbo. They will probably hate you and call you names for it, but you know it'll be for the best. You don't want to involve them in your life so maybe it's better they think you are an asshole than they knowing you are in pain (and becoming in pain as well in the process).

Maybe it's time to rely on someone to help you. When the pain is too much we become too focused on the things that hurt the most and we are unable to see the big picture.

I hope everything goes well for you and your family.

😄

Hmm...as an Aqua girl, pisces venus. I do the disappearing crap too...and it's always with someone I have doubts about or I'm just not that into. But just because I'm not into them doesn't mean I don't respect them...the disappearing act is more of a way to let the person off easy so I don't have to hurt their feelings. Kind of sucks, I know. Usually this stems from just feeling too suffocated for no reason. And sometimes I may think back like, WOW I really messed that up, and then hunt that person down to start something up again, only to realize I should've trusted my judgement in the first place and let it be. (I blame that on Pisces in venus and the urge to be loved and comforted)

Sorry 😢

I dont know. Reading what you wrote OP....is he communicating like normal? If he asked or inquired whether or not to hang out again then...I take that as a good sign. Yeah since it seems like Aquarius dont "like" to have that talk regarding commitment/canceling/touchy subjects perhaps that wasnt the best move but then again we dont know how the conversation went verbatim. Have you noticed anything changed with communication outside of him slightly disappearing? Have you asked him to hang out again?

Im a long time lurker - first time responder but Im kind of going through something similar...not exact but similar.

Posted by ecseedah
Im not looking into making accusations but stop feeding the girl crazy feminist ideas, im doing the things that dude did to you to a girl I REALY LIKEng any chance of , and you know why? Just beacuse i found out recently my sister got cancer and even if I like this gal alot, everytime I plan to do something about it, something comes up. On the other hand i cant tell this girl the situation i am in you know why? Cuz she means more then a mercy hump for me. When the time is right ill just come clean with her and if she is ready to accept it its fine by me if not thats fine too, just beacuse life is not fair and not everything turns out to be as you planed it would. Sometimes life is a bit more complicated. One thing is for sure I dont know how to tell her to let me alone for the time being without completely loosibeing with her, so I choose to ignore and explain later. And yes, im an aquarius, im a dude, I know of my problems and i choose to solve them by myself and accept the consequences, ignoring does not always mean not liking someone, just means i need to be left alone for now.



PS
Pardon my english im not a native english speaker

Im also sorry to hear about your situation. Truly I am. But if you really like this girl and she's responsive to you...I would tell her. Why not? If it doesnt go well then you would just end up in the same situation as before where you werent communicating with her.

Initially when my Aqua gent and I began conversing again he explained to me that he went incognito with everyone. His family - his friends. He said that he would definitely make it up to me. Now what his definition of "making it up" to me and mine may be two different things. For one I love texting. I'd indulge all day if I could but I know thats not realistic to ask of anyone. However he had/has put for much effort to communicate a lot.

I personally also have never been one to attach easily like usually when I start talking to someone if I get bored or feel Im being mistreated Im quick to just "snap" and cut off all communication. Just for whatever reason with this one....I cant! Not sure why.

Posted by trashedbliss
I dont know. Reading what you wrote OP....is he communicating like normal? If he asked or inquired whether or not to hang out again then...I take that as a good sign. Yeah since it seems like Aquarius dont "like" to have that talk regarding commitment/canceling/touchy subjects perhaps that wasnt the best move but then again we dont know how the conversation went verbatim. Have you noticed anything changed with communication outside of him slightly disappearing? Have you asked him to hang out again?

Im a long time lurker - first time responder but Im kind of going through something similar...not exact but similar.

No I have not tried to hang out with him since the museum and him taking me to dinner no. I dont know if I should switch gear to platonic or romantic...I dont know! lol!!!! I feel like an Aquarius myself...I have an asc in Aqua if that means anything. I go through phases where I dont want to see or be near anyone either but...with him I think...no Im pretty sure I like him like him...like Helga likes Arnold...but I dont want to put it all out there because Im not 100% sure so it would be kinda easy to let him go since he's not being as verbal but once again I sorta like him so....

Posted by TigerGoddess

Posted by trashedbliss
I dont know. Reading what you wrote OP....is he communicating like normal? If he asked or inquired whether or not to hang out again then...I take that as a good sign. Yeah since it seems like Aquarius dont "like" to have that talk regarding commitment/canceling/touchy subjects perhaps that wasnt the best move but then again we dont know how the conversation went verbatim. Have you noticed anything changed with communication outside of him slightly disappearing? Have you asked him to hang out again?

Im a long time lurker - first time responder but Im kind of going through something similar...not exact but similar.

No I have not tried to hang out with him since the museum and him taking me to dinner no. I dont know if I should switch gear to platonic or romantic...I dont know! lol!!!! I feel like an Aquarius myself...I have an asc in Aqua if that means anything. I go through phases where I dont want to see or be near anyone either but...with him I think...no Im pretty sure I like him like him...like Helga likes Arnold...but I dont want to put it all out there because Im not 100% sure so it would be kinda easy to let him go since he's not being as verbal but once again I sorta like him so....

click to expand

Hmmm well I have a few Aquarius male friends who say that after they take a girl out awhile then they kind of expect a little payback and I dont mean sexually like they like to have their giving nature reciprocated? Perhaps there are some males on here that can confirm or deny that. Not sure. However like I said Im a long time lurker and in one of the posts I read from awhile back - with kryseene7 or whatever her tag is - she even mentions that for Aqua guys you have to do a little chasing. Now Im not saying to like get super super desperate and just call or text everyday like a moron but I would perhaps reach out again and ASKED him to somewhere cool and pay for you and he. Wait a little bit and see if he initiates contact again or follows the pattern that you had previously.

Based off what you say - I dont think he's not interested but I think you may have pushed him to a place where he was not ready yet to accept how he feels about you. Remember Aquarius signs like being friends first which technically is how it should be. So I would reign in the ro

sorry I would reign in the romantic side and go with the flow and see what happens. Im sending good vibes to you!! If its meant to be regardless of sun sign, birth sign, race, height, favorite color LOL it will happen...

@Trashed - thanks for the advice. Like I said Im kind of on the fence its just so weird because Im usually able to just let guys go like *snap* ok, Im over it... we'll see. I will keep you posted. If I still feel this way in a week lol then I will definitely reach out but I will slowly try to get over it :/

LOL@Feminist ideas...okay, I'm an Aquarius female & that's Mrs.Feminist to you.

Ignore and explain later, pretty much lines up with what I was saying. Don't revolve herself around a man that's so full of himself that he feels he can come back when it's convenient for him and explain later and I'm sure that explanation won't be forthcoming. What's that saying, don't make someone a priority when your only an option.

Yes life happens to all of us but how hard is it to say, I'm interested, I really am but due to certain circumstances I can't right now, timing is wrong but let's keep in contact from time to time. Yep, that's really just too hard to do.

Posted by tiki33
LOL@Feminist ideas...okay, I'm an Aquarius female & that's Mrs.Feminist to you.

Ignore and explain later, pretty much lines up with what I was saying. Don't revolve herself around a man that's so full of himself that he feels he can come back when it's convenient for him and explain later and I'm sure that explanation won't be forthcoming. What's that saying, don't make someone a priority when your only an option.

Yes life happens to all of us but how hard is it to say, I'm interested, I really am but due to certain circumstances I can't right now, timing is wrong but let's keep in contact from time to time. Yep, that's really just too hard to do.

This isnt the first time that Im hearing that potentially the issue may be that he's going through something. Just curious...should I reach out and ask whats wrong? I havent heard from him in a few days and I was just idling time not really looking to or thinking Id hear from him honestly. However I am curious to see/know whats going on...should I be bold and just ask outright like...wtf?

My suggestion probably won't be the suggestion you wan to hear but please stop chasing him, doing the chasing be it every other day or every month the behavior reeks of desperation so you see you're not helping your situation, you're literally nudging him to remember you exist. Tiger do you have other guy friends you can date and hang out with? Are you actively having a fun social life doing the things that make you feel whole and secure? I'm asking you this because you come across needy and a tad desperate to communicate, I'm so not being mean okay, my objective is to help you see how he could be seeing the situation as well.

I suggest you move on, leave the door open for him to come around, no matter a man's sign, he doesn't forget the woman he wants to be with, so while he's hibernating pay attention to your own life, forget him for now and whomever said women have to chase Aqua men well it's simply not true, commitment shy men don't want to be chased, they want to be understood, which means he want you to understand that chasing him won't make him want to be with you more so be patient, don't wait around for him and get back into dating--keeping your options open so you can shift away from fixating on this one guy whose not around.

Posted by tiki33
My suggestion probably won't be the suggestion you wan to hear but please stop chasing him, doing the chasing be it every other day or every month the behavior reeks of desperation so you see you're not helping your situation, you're literally nudging him to remember you exist. Tiger do you have other guy friends you can date and hang out with? Are you actively having a fun social life doing the things that make you feel whole and secure? I'm asking you this because you come across needy and a tad desperate to communicate, I'm so not being mean okay, my objective is to help you see how he could be seeing the situation as well.

Meh you're coming off as a bit mean yes but I dont really mind/care.

Perhaps you didnt read my earlier responses but I was on the fence regardless. Its just when I started getting advice from others etc is when it became more confusing. Yes I am/have been chatting up other guys but Im not interested in them either. Im on the fence with Aqua but for some reason cant just let it go. Yes I hang out with my friends and have a very interesting social life filled with oddly enough - lesbians. Dont ask.

When you like someone you cant just flip and it turns off...well you seem like you can but I cannot. I am not chasing him nor have I initiated any contact with him. I was just asking for your opinion and you've given it. Desperate I am not, just a bit curious. Thanks for your advice anyway.

You're chasing him in your head and doing that makes it very hard to let it go, there are different forms of chasing we women do and doing that makes it confusing for us. Listen many moons ago I been in your shoes so I'm not going to front like I haven't been in your position. I won't keep kicking the dead horse by suggesting you move on and let him do his part and at the moment his part is doing nothing. I do wish you the best of luck, although I'm harsh I'm sincere, what's important is your happiness.

Posted by tiki33
You're chasing him in your head and doing that makes it very hard to let it go, there are different forms of chasing we women do and doing that makes it confusing for us. Listen many moons ago I been in your shoes so I'm not going to front like I haven't been in your position. I won't keep kicking the dead horse by suggesting you move on and let him do his part and at the moment his part is doing nothing. I do wish you the best of luck, although I'm harsh I'm sincere, what's important is your happiness.

LOL you're very tough but I like you. If you were closer I'd even attempt a meet and greet. Your dogged perseverance in "opening eyes" intrigues me.

LOL That dogged perseverance most likely has to do with my Taurus rising, we just don't give up too easily. Hey keep us updated with your Aquarius okay.