Question for an Aquarius woman

Hello,

I'm in need of some serious help. About six months ago me(virgo) and my wife who is an aquarius separated. We have been married for 2 years and together a little over 3. We are in the process of getting a divorce, but I'm totally against it and want to save the marriage. She has told me the problems and what she didn't like about me and I have been working fixing the things. Although I am fixing these things she is still telling me she wants the divorce. She told me that I was controlling and she couldn't be herself around me, as well as I didn't help out with our daughter enough. Like I said I have been trying to give her space and definitely have stepped up and started helping more with our daughter, but I don't know how to get her to change her mind and see that our family is worth fixing. Also we don't live together anymore. Any advice on how to get her back? Thank you for the help.

Bump

Posted by gonzo039
Hello,

I'm in need of some serious help. About six months ago me(virgo) and my wife who is an aquarius separated. We have been married for 2 years and together a little over 3. We are in the process of getting a divorce, but I'm totally against it and want to save the marriage. She has told me the problems and what she didn't like about me and I have been working fixing the things. Although I am fixing these things she is still telling me she wants the divorce. She told me that I was controlling and she couldn't be herself around me, as well as I didn't help out with our daughter enough. Like I said I have been trying to give her space and definitely have stepped up and started helping more with our daughter, but I don't know how to get her to change her mind and see that our family is worth fixing. Also we don't live together anymore. Any advice on how to get her back? Thank you for the help.

what are your placements?



and what are hers?



does she have any virgo or at least 6th house dominant in some way?

any strong trines?

I have read that Virgo is always single, even when they are NOT single, and it makes a lot of sense to me, that's why it's best if the other person has some strong Virgo energy or at least 6th house energy.

you will "get" eachother.

if you're controlling...

like in what way?

do you boss her around or something?

be more DETAILED. it's hard to just go on what little you give us.

I'm new to the sign thing, so I don't know the placements or anything like that. Sorry. As for controlling, she felt I was controlling because I didn't like her partying with her male friends without me and I would also look at her facebook/texts. She felt like she didn't have freedom in our relationship and smothered. I have trust issues which I'm working on and I have apologized and owned up to what I have done wrong in the relationship but the more I try to fix the marriage, the more she pulls away and cuts me off.

I have been very needy in the past and I have been also working on this. I realize that this had a big part to play in chasing her off and I figured giving her space and time would show that I have been making changes.

so you're saying that I have no chance of getting her back?

Posted by gonzo039
so you're saying that I have no chance of getting her back?

Not necessarily, but this won't be easy. Aqua's a fixed sign, meaning they can be stubborn in love. They are also not as emotional on the surface as other signs typically would be in this scenario. If she's pushing for a divorce, it's because she thought loooooong and hard about this. Aquarius doesn't love lightly, so you had to make a LOT of mistakes consistently for her to back away. When an Aqua chooses a mate, they do it for the long haul, so getting one to leave takes some considerable effort. Once an Aqua does make up their mind though, it can be practically impossible to change it (because they are a fixed sign). This is what you're dealing with right now.

Fortunately she's also a human being. She's a woman and her attraction for you will cut through ANYTHING, even her own astrological placements. So you'll need to start re-attracting her.

So what you need to do is first let her know, "Look, I love you and I don't want to get divorce. I want to work this out with you. I know I've made some mistakes and am willing to make the changes to work things out, but I'm not interested in getting a divorce. If you change your mind, let's get a marriage counselor and work through our issues. If breaking up our family is what you want, then I can't stop you." Now more than likely she'll still push forward for the separation since her mind is set.

The problem is you've been pushy. You've hurt her so much that she now has a fixed view regarding the relationship. Once you state your truth to her, you'll need to back away and start focusing on yourself. You need to create the space that she needs. Pushing her any further will not help you now.

If you don't mind me asking, what were her issues with the relationship?

Well all this started when I was deployed so that also didn't help the situation. I was trying to fix the marriage from half way across the world, but from the start of the relationship she gave me her passwords to her facebook and cell. Should I have been looking and checking her stuff. NO! I understand that, but she never told me she had an issue with it so it continued. Next she felt like I was smothering her and she couldn't be herself around me as she put it. She said she needed freedom. I don't think I was controlling in the traditional sense. I never told her not to do things, but I did make it known when I didn't like something that she was doing. Lastly I wasn't helping enough with our child as she would have liked. I have stepped up since I have returned and started helping out more and making changes to not be so pushy or controlling. I think the straw that broke the camels back though was while I was over there was that she asked me for space while I was over there and asked for a divorce. Instead of staying calm and giving her space to think things through I panicked and tried to fix it by constantly trying to talk it out and changing her mind. I never cheated on her or hit her so in my mind the problems that we have weren't so bad that they couldn't be fixed. I now know that trying to convince her of this was the wrong route to take and wish I just would of gave her the space she asked for.