So..it is done..and I been crying

So..I confronted the Aqua I was with and worked with. I had been trying to by pass seeing him and even talking with him as much as possible. Him having control over my placement at work..maade it hard. For a week straight...I kept emailing him and other manager about this job. He would not respond..I would try again..him" YOU have to come into the office to see what is avaiable" now he KNOWS what is avaible so I dont know what was the need for me to come sit right in front of him. It was just to painful not seeing him for 3 months with now word on letting me go or anything. So I txt him again about the job..sent email..sent it to his personal phone..He goes Please do not text me I told you..you have to come into the office to see what is avaible. And it went on from there..I had to ask him why was he making it so hard for me to work? How painful it was and embarrasing for me to sit in front of him. We go back and fourth..I told him I was so hurt..I had all the emails and transactions from all the bougs things he did..and wanted to send them..his Responce? YOU DUMB A** your only hurting yourself..I can find another job..and not be out of work like you..Then I went in..He made it seem like I was trying to make him be with me..he was the one that told me he loved me..I said say it..say I was nothing but a piece of ass to you!! Say what we had was not real!!! Be a man for once..You used me to stroke your ego and a mule to do your dirty work..He said we aint been together that long to do that..I said come on 3 1/2 years off and on..he gose You have issues and need theropy..you keep txting me..I said because you wont be a man and mean what you say..I gave up so much...I was there for you..when you needed I was there..you told me you loved me but never showed it..And he said something to the effect I push men away..I said hold on now.sweet..trust I am not rejected at all he said I know you have more people..I said no..we go back and forth..I called him a jerk..It hurt me so bad..I told him how much it hurt me..I said you are talking around the fact that you hurt me..I said tell you dont love me..Tell me you never did..He gose Good night..I said..and I trusted my body and everything...he aid..why you got aids..would you say that..i said because you gave me a urinary track infection..ya I am saying it..He never responded..I been crying becaus I WAS a ass..like he called me and a fool..I cant even show back up to that office..I am so angry.

I want to send the stuff but you know what?? I cant..it is not worth it. I invested me..and I am so ashamed..I did not see through him. How can a man be like this? How can you treat me like I am not shit and then in the same breath make it seem like it was me. But NEVER admits to him not loving me..NEVER admits he was wrong in what he dose. I am ashamed to say I am the blame for how he treated me. I need a job but it hurts to much way to much..I been crying..part of me want to call and cuss him out..the other..just walk..I loved him from my heart..and he knew it..he knew it..but like I told him..I my love for him was not below the level his was for me..I had to take something just to go to sleep.

Cry you a river build you a bridge and get over it.

Posted by ThisAndThat
Cry you a river build you a bridge and get over it.

If only it was that easy...

Hey its not easy,but its a shitty part of life we all have to deal with,and you will come to that point when you realise he is shit and you deserve better.Its such a waste of time to waste feelings of love on someone who dosnt care.Just walk away dont call him or nothing and dont let him contact you,just ignore the asshole and you will come out stronger sooner or later.

Posted by ThisAndThat
Hey its not easy,but its a shitty part of life we all have to deal with,and you will come to that point when you realise he is shit and you deserve better.Its such a waste of time to waste feelings of love on someone who dosnt care.Just walk away dont call him or nothing and dont let him contact you,just ignore the asshole and you will come out stronger sooner or later.

True..the hard part..he is now one of my bosses..and I have to deal with him..or quit..I have been looking for other jobs..and if i want to work..I have to go to him to be places..to much for me right now..emotionally..

Dont guit,dont let him affect you at all.Make your nails,do your hair,put on some hot clothes and walk in there like NOTHING happend,and be nice to him but dont let the fucker change anything.

Posted by ThisAndThat
Dont guit,dont let him affect you at all.Make your nails,do your hair,put on some hot clothes and walk in there like NOTHING happend,and be nice to him but dont let the fucker change anything.

I do that now..that may be why he kept asking me to come in and not other folks..but now?? man I know there is some real bad blood..I dont even think he will treat me fair. Because not it is personal between us..and not in a good way..I know I am on borrowed time..and that is that is what has me*Job wise*. I am just hurt..I have not slept all night thinking how I messed up..think how he just would not say what I wanted him to say..and the things he DID say..really hurt me..and Held back saying what I wanted to say..smh.I am to damn soft..and I hate it..

Well just hang in there it will all pass,such as the night goes and the sun rises and there comes a new day.
Sometimes when fighting people can say all kinds of stuff that should not be taken too personally,and yes you should have spilled your guts out and told exactly what was on your mind,even though it might have made things worse but anyhow you had the chance to clear the air and get it all out.

Ofcourse you can still do it,but you might want to wait til you have a new job if youre planning on changing job.

And dont think that your soft,its fine being soft and sensitive but its not fine to give/show it to people who dosnt deserve it.

Posted by ThisAndThat
Well just hang in there it will all pass,such as the night goes and the sun rises and there comes a new day.
Sometimes when fighting people can say all kinds of stuff that should not be taken too personally,and yes you should have spilled your guts out and told exactly what was on your mind,even though it might have made things worse but anyhow you had the chance to clear the air and get it all out.

Ofcourse you can still do it,but you might want to wait til you have a new job if youre planning on changing job.

And dont think that your soft,its fine being soft and sensitive but its not fine to give/show it to people who dosnt deserve it.

I did not even sleep last night..I am up..dressed going to look for a new job....and pray I find one. I did not realize how deep this hurt me..until now..smh..but I will be ok..I just cant deal with him right now..or it will go bad..and I have to stop into the office..

So we txt back and forth. Mostly about work...he goes on to tell me he was trying to warn me because he care about this and that at work. But I think he was trying to feel me out to see if I was going to talk to the VP. He felt I was angry at him about the job. He goes I killed anything we had because of emotional outburst. I said I dont hear from you for like a month and a half then I address it is an out burst?He said I have to many issues he cant deal with..I dont understand that..then he goes I will txt you to night about it. And I may not like what he has to say. I been trying to get a hold of him...he will not return anything. I had to go to the office..he seen me..and just looked..I dont understand. but I am letting the job go. It hurts to much...I love him but he must not have loved me in the same way.

Im sorry Ma. Damn, he is a dick. Remember, that everything is never 100% someone elses fault. So accept the responsibility for allowing this motherfucker into your life and allowing him to stay, even after he showed you many times that he was a piece of shit. Doesnt make what he did okay - he will get his - but see your role in it. Learn from it, be better because of it. Its only a waste of time if you dont take anything from it. LEARN. and grow. I feel for you. Im sorry. Hugs —

PS..dont you DARE quit your job. You know how hard this job market is! Fuck that!

It would be awesome if you can find another job, walk in and slap a notice on his fucking desk. Start looking. Then tell him everything you wanted to say, as youre walking the fuck out.

Karma will come back to him.

Did with my aqua who also treated me like shit. Who I also lost my virginity too.

It's hard to see now but " This too shall pass "

Posted by Dreamer02
Im sorry Ma. Damn, he is a dick. Remember, that everything is never 100% someone elses fault. So accept the responsibility for allowing this motherfucker into your life and allowing him to stay, even after he showed you many times that he was a piece of shit. Doesnt make what he did okay - he will get his - but see your role in it. Learn from it, be better because of it. Its only a waste of time if you dont take anything from it. LEARN. and grow. I feel for you. Im sorry. Hugs —

PS..dont you DARE quit your job. You know how hard this job market is! Fuck that!

I do..and that may be why it hurt so much. Come to think of it..now that I think about it..he was suppose to go over the jobs with me..he have it to his buddy in HR and she was like you either take this job..this job or this..or I will term you..you have a night to think about it. He never came in and said a word. This went on and off 3 and a half years..I feel like a fool because I am sure I am the only one loosing sleep right now..I know it is hard to get jobs..I am a hair stylist a well..go a part time job.he even said..that the way I feel about him personally will destroy me work wise. He thinks I am so angery..he would not even look me to long in the face..I dont understand how you could say you love someone..walk away..call me a dumb ass over BS..then never said sorry about it?? SMH..I am going to write to the president befor the term my Wed. I have alot to say.