Topic Title:

Hung out with a Aries guy tonight
In Providence, RI
I chain smoked cloves - and he, Newports
Went to a bar, true city bred
I drank a couple drafts of Atomic Dog - and he, white ale
Still don't know how that's an actual —thing??
Went to iHop, tipsy
Left iHop, tipsy
Can't find my cloves
He spoke Spanish, as it is his native tongue
I spoke Logic, as it is my native tongue
He tried to make moves and suggest
I spoke Logic
He stole awkward goodbye kisses, twice
My heart told me that I was uncomfortable
My mind told me that if you are attracted to an individual, numbers are ignored
They tend to never agree
I spoke Logic


This is when I realized how much the Aquarian guy I??ve been seeing, cuddling with, hanging out with, sleeping with, and kissing without counting on a regular basis.

Driving home, I called him (my Aqua crush) who I'm not exclusive with and talked to him about it
He picked up at 3am, from a dead sleep
We talked about 10 minutes
He, as always, understood the situation of what happened earlier in the evening.




I??d like to tell him that I'm not involved with other people right now yet still am okay with being whatever we are right now. Just to let him know where I'm at in my head??_

Aw, I used to live in Newport. I love little Rhody!

Saw that somebody had replied... checked..

disappointed that it wasn't anything about the actual subject at hand 😢 😛

edit for grammatical purposes [ is my INTP showing? 😉 ]:


correcting: This is when I realized how much the Aquarian guy I??ve been seeing, cuddling with, hanging out with, sleeping with, and kissing without counting on a regular basis.

to..

revised:
This is when I realized how much I like the Aquarian guy I??ve been seeing, cuddling with, hanging out with, sleeping with, and kissing without counting on a regular basis.

How did he react when you told him? I'm tunnel aqua, I don't usually get jealous but who am I kidding if I really fancy someone I'd certainly be fuming!

Him and I spoke a couple weeks ago about our situation together. We're not a couple and logically wouldn't have true reason to be upset if dating/physical with others.

And to put it more bluntly, the Aries FRIEND I hung out with? Told the Aries before going out that nothing would happen between us. Repeatedly when out, too. He was forcing himself on me and attempting to manipulate me. No consent.

I called Aqua, actually quite upset and disgusted... and almost in tears trying to understand why a 'friend' would treat me like that.

He listened and said that most guys are like that if they even pay for just a coffee after the bar - there's always a 'hope' in their mind for something; anything.

I think you have quite a solid aqua there. He sounds like he's been through a few things but that's just from my observation that he's neither attached nor completely aloof and rather supportive to say the least.

What can I say? What do you feel? how much is much? 😛 as much as I don't want to say it but we do have our expiration dates. Do you really want to keep things the way they are or take the leap of faith? 😉

^to add to that

He also sounds like he genuinely cares for you. Take it from me that's the greatest kind of affection an Aqua can show you.

🙂 🙂

And oh gosh, what do I feel?!
I'm a doctor not a physicist!

I'll try to explain using a probability format...


Let's see. Pretend 7 nights of the week I'm looking to go out and do something (typically the case).

Odds I'd like to see him.. 4:3 while keeping in mind that I don't want to see him too much and have him do his own thing, while keeping time for friends and alone/relax time.. oh and he works for a bit some nights 🙂

Well can't fault you there I'm also a logic thinker. I'll assume he is too and he's quite comfortable with everything right now. But I guess my set of logic follow a set of different rules because I do factor in my heart as well.

For a moment let's imagine we live in a simple world. What does your heart say? Do you wish for this to be monogamous? Do you now want more after realising he's on your mind while out with someone else? Or is this just an acknowledgement of where you guys are?

That's what my heart says if I factor it all in. Maybe as a ratio vs probablility. This is what I want in life but then factor in these feelings after weighing them against how it affects me and them and then I come to conclusion.

Well..

My heart says that I feel a lot more for him than I thought I would. I hold my heart within a labyrinth, underneath the ocean. And I'm a little uneasy about it. I'm always uneasy in matters of the heart.

I don't want to rush into anything but hell, I'm feeling high anxiety about the thought of the connection that we have may just disappear or be 'taken away'.

As for the monogamous part.. I mean.. I don't want to necessarily 'tie him down'. As of right now, I am not interested in another. I probably won't be, and don't see myself hooking up with others or dating others in the near future. This is my choice and in the now - short term future. I guess my ideal would be that he makes his own choice, and is able to be honest with me about it and if it may change as time goes on.

I've never been of the traditional relationship type - not in the very least, despite my previous engagement.

As long as the seriousness and acknowledgment of whatever we are at a given time is maintained between us with honesty through and through, I believe that will settle any excess nervousness I have whenever I need it.

I think its best to keep the slow pace without any labels and without black and white customary courting practices.. I think going faster would cause me to drown; I'm scared of my own emotions and letting them fuck me over. I'm ALREADY scared, too. :/

Would you feel hurt if he started dating someone else? Would it feel like a betrayal of some kind or more of an "oh well, there are other fish in the sea" moment?

Posted by Huntress

I think its best to keep the slow pace without any labels and without black and white customary courting practices.. I think going faster would cause me to drown; I'm scared of my own emotions and letting them fuck me over. I'm ALREADY scared, too. :/

I'm an aqua that holds similar beliefs. Not sure whether I'm actually afraid or just can't fully trust another person given I've had quite a long relationship like you before. Are you thinking your logic is failing sometimes? 😛

Meh all I can say is *hug* because well... because.

Posted by firewaterearthpiscesvenus
Would you feel hurt if he started dating someone else? Would it feel like a betrayal of some kind or more of an "oh well, there are other fish in the sea" moment?

I would feel like somebody ripped out my heart.

Thing is.. I really don't think he would; we're one in the same.

Posted by aquasnoz

I'm an aqua that holds similar beliefs. Not sure whether I'm actually afraid or just can't fully trust another person given I've had quite a long relationship like you before. Are you thinking your logic is failing sometimes? 😛

Meh all I can say is *hug* because well... because.

click to expand

Completely hit the nail on the head. and -hug-

Your questions helped me formulate my thoughts tonight. I went to see him after he was off work. He helped me dress the wound on my thumb; I had an unfortunate accident while grooming my dog today and by pure luck avoided the need for stitches. But being without bilateral opposable thumbs renders you as useful as a porpoise 😢

Anyway.. I noticed myself detaching while being physically affectionate and started to box myself up into my 'personal bubble', couldn't look him in the eye, etc. He just kept being affectionate, without pushing it in a very comforting way, and reminded me that I don't need to open up about anything that I'm not comfortable with opening up about.

Finally I said that he made me nervous because I am really into him and my attraction to him is incredibly unnerving and frightening. That I was scared about just.. fizzling out again with our connection or other circumstances occurring.

He reminded me that we came back to each other and that there's an unmistakable spark between us. And that he's equally attracted to me, and has waited for this for a long time. I know he's not sleeping/dating others.

We've both matured a lot over the years of not speaking and while dating others. And I noticed tonight that he has a hard time beginning to open up about something.

Before I left, I decided to share something else with him. I usually abhor kissing - for whatever reason. And I explained how I loved to kiss him, and how I usually don't like it.

His eyes were just so warm and genuinely.. so touched with receiving that truth - and so unexpected 😉

Aquasnoz.. 🙂 🙂 You are amazing. I'm so glad that y

* con't that you're you. I hope someday your wall comes down a smidge - there's a whole world out there and they're just dying to meet you 😉

Seriously.. I have so much gratitude for you. Thank you x 89833188.

I'll be taking more baby steps soon enough 🙂

mmmm cloves...

Posted by Metoo
Love cloves too.
Feel very much like your flippant comments u are making are trying to convince yourSELF.
I think in reality when you say I want to take it slow u mean "Make it exclusive come ON"
and when you say "I dont need the label" you mean "Tell me I am the one and that you want me as your GIRL"
I can go on, but you get it.
Reading your thread, every part of me feels you are trying to downplay feelings, convince yourself your ok keeping it cool and casual, and that your not needy (not suggesting you are).

Basically your gonna have to own up and decide to be honest with yourself first, then him...get his reaction, then decide how you will proceed and if you will continue the chase. The gray is starting to weigh on you, so I would address that right away so you can start the new year right, with honesty and direct intention. Am I with the boy or not?
But dont fool yourself into the Im cool playing the friend role and accepting crumbs of interest here and there and want him to live his life and have space blah blah.

Yes, your scared, but your not dumb. Your a Prize. Be with guys who are ready and willing to man up and claim you. Hope this comes across with the love and directness and positivity I meant it to.

Actually, in all complete honesty here.. you don't know what you're talking about at all. This is 100% me, without downplaying anything.

I DON'T want something traditional. NOTHING is wearing on me. And he's essentially CLAIMED me. So I'm not regarding anything you've said because, quite frankly my dear, you seem to not have even a mere hint as to how I'm feeling 🙂

Posted by Metoo
Im sorry Huntress, I was reading and answering posts way early and when I first woke up and while having my coffee so clearly I was way way off and thought I was catching a different vibe. I hope u read the way I ended my msg. and I wish u all the best with aqua, I work with many and one of my best friends of 13 years is a male aqua so I love to read aqau boards but in this case I see I really missed it. I often do. have a wonderful day, thanks for setting me straight.

I did see how you ended it. I really really appreciate your response and your honesty about it. 🙂 Thank you!

And I hope your weekend treats you extremely well 🙂

haha I think me being amazing is still yet to be proven! I think there's something broken inside of me but the irony of that is being broken lets you appreciate things and see things in a weird perspective. My views are still evolving but with a help of my special fish I seem to be making better sense of it all.

I think what most people don't understand is that when something is so real that goes beyond just simple lust, companionship, friendship or love it's indescribable. Just that raw connection and that feeling is so amazing. There's no need to push that further. It's neither depreciating oneself or asserting but real acceptance. I don't need to be a prize to be claimed nor is there need to claim. But at the same time that feeling is so 'special' even when you know that you have that person and that person has you there's this fear of losing it or for it to die out.

In which case I love the way your Aqua put it. Your paths have always met and it's that stage where I want to get to 🙂 which is as I tell you I'm trying to factor in my heart more to follow with my logic.

Posted by aquasnoz
haha I think me being amazing is still yet to be proven! I think there's something broken inside of me but the irony of that is being broken lets you appreciate things and see things in a weird perspective. My views are still evolving but with a help of my special fish I seem to be making better sense of it all.

I think what most people don't understand is that when something is so real that goes beyond just simple lust, companionship, friendship or love it's indescribable. Just that raw connection and that feeling is so amazing. There's no need to push that further. It's neither depreciating oneself or asserting but real acceptance. I don't need to be a prize to be claimed nor is there need to claim. But at the same time that feeling is so 'special' even when you know that you have that person and that person has you there's this fear of losing it or for it to die out.

In which case I love the way your Aqua put it. Your paths have always met and it's that stage where I want to get to 🙂 which is as I tell you I'm trying to factor in my heart more to follow with my logic.

Those little fishies are really special, huh? Seems they always drift back into one's life with unusually perfect timing. 🙂

I can very much identify with your words about sensing something 'broken' within.

I also see things a bit oddly, relate to others on (often) unexpectedly deep levels, verbalize things that others typically wouldn't; bizarre topics, and connect concepts and topics through a series of connections, at a very quick (almost instantaneous) pace.

This will sound odd, but do you have many inconjuncts, sesquiquadrates, or quintiles in your natal chart? Any involving inner planets, Mercury perhaps?

Haven't really looked much into it I'm afraid. I do know I have my Pluto and Neptune both quincunx chiron. I agree to some certain degree I crave to find the deepest level of meaning in everything, sense of belonging I guess. I tend to draw on really abstract thoughts, possibility of everything at once and nothing all at once. Maybe it's a bad combination? 😛

I also have a few semi squares that may cause it with those quincunx. Sun semisquare Venus, Moon semisquare mercury. But to sum it up in a nutshell I fight with myself inside my head... all the time... I'm INSANE!

But you know what they say, insane is another form of genius 😄