Libhel
@Libhel
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 34 · Topics: 9
Winning him back?
Posted by Libhel
I feel like I've messed up BIG time. I feel like I betrayed him at his most vulnerable moment when he finally opened up to me and I regret it. I miss having him by my side, how he took care of me and how he defended me. I miss him.
How do I apologize? I strictly remember him saying he'll never look back once he had moved on and I haven't heard a single peep from him since we split few months ago.
We have an understanding, both our moons are in pisces. Feels like I know him inside out but for this very fact I'm scared and know how much the betrayal must've hurt him.
Do you aquarius believe in redemption?
Why do you give so much power to someone who doesn't want you by his side? That's all I have to say.
Pisces moon people are very compassionate and soft-hearted but can be vry sensitive, thus they can be hurt very easily and very deeply. From what I understand, they will separate themselves completely from a hurtful situation. You must have done something extremely hurtful to him.
Perhaps when he recharges and begins to heal, he will forgive you.
Perhaps when he recharges and begins to heal, he will forgive you.
Ive done some betryal to an Aqua...
TIME isi all you need to give them!
TIME isi all you need to give them!
I'm not giving him that power but that's how special he made me feel. I guess maybe if I explain it a bit you might understand why he's hurt right now.
The insecurities part from me is that he IS charming, he IS magnetic and I'm definitely not the first girl to be drawn to his qualities. It may be a classic case of jealousy rearing its ugly head but it's hard not to and I'm not sure if others can relate to this.
When he finally said he loves me I questioned that and I regret it. I may have flirted with a few guys just to get a reaction and yes you can all have a go at me for that but I just wanted to make sure.
The insecurities part from me is that he IS charming, he IS magnetic and I'm definitely not the first girl to be drawn to his qualities. It may be a classic case of jealousy rearing its ugly head but it's hard not to and I'm not sure if others can relate to this.
When he finally said he loves me I questioned that and I regret it. I may have flirted with a few guys just to get a reaction and yes you can all have a go at me for that but I just wanted to make sure.
Posted by Libhel
I strictly remember him saying he'll never look back once he had moved on and I haven't heard a single peep from him since we split few months ago.
Dude even gave you warning in advance, use it to help yourself out.
Posted by Libhel
Do you aquarius believe in redemption?
I do personally but what you described to me seems like a deal breaker! You're a lunar piscean too are you not, you even said you know why he'd hurt so isn't this all a bit of a moot discussion. Besides if it's only been a few months that's like nothing on the aqua clock.
E.g. Once upon a time I got hurt and I stopped talking to the girl for a whole year, others I don't even speak to. I relate this to my specialised Aqua moral code of conduct.
Look I understand you youself want some kinda understanding from this so I will say I've forgiven before. I've even set aside differences before when that one person was that special to me but I still needed time to get over myself for being hurt (funny how that works right?)
I do have a pisces venus/mars to pair up with that moon so I might just be a touch more forgiving than others but hey just work on forgiving yourself first.
^ Being real can be a real plus in an aqua's book to the point that sometimes even the most heinous of crimes can be forgiven 😛 I say that lightly because forgiving doesn't mean forgotten.
Anyway take a breather and move around the fishpond. Fish need to move around or they stagnate. Might want to try changing the water. If that doesn't work then adjust your scales (I'm assuming you're a Libra)
Anyway take a breather and move around the fishpond. Fish need to move around or they stagnate. Might want to try changing the water. If that doesn't work then adjust your scales (I'm assuming you're a Libra)
Posted by Libhel
When he finally said he loves me I questioned that and I regret it. I may have flirted with a few guys just to get a reaction and yes you can all have a go at me for that but I just wanted to make sure.
Oh honey. Hugs. From everything I've learned, if an aqua tells you they love you, you better dang well know they do! They don't throw those words around and very seldom use them. He gave you his heart and you doubted it. Then, tried to make him jealous. Aqua's don't play the jealous game. They won't react or respond like any other. They will simply walk away faster than you can say quick. Of course I can't speak for all of them, but this is my impression.
This situation will need to be handled delicately. I agree with what she said above. Go to him and spill out your soul. Don't hold back. Don't be emotional or dramatic, but tell him EVERYTHING you are thinking and feeling. Admit your confusion, your insecurity, the fact you were wrong. Then, leave him alone and give him time to process, then wait. That's all you can do.
Thankyou guys! I knew I wouldn't get pleasant responses and maybe I needed to hear the real ones. That's as much as what he said to me too when he tries to cheer me up when I'm hurt.
Aquanoz, he does have those as well and yes I'm a libra 🙂 You are right I probably need to collect myself first and so are the others. I'm sorry if I had to rant and for you guys to hear it all but I'll try my best.
It might be all freaky but he just called me.
Aquanoz, he does have those as well and yes I'm a libra 🙂 You are right I probably need to collect myself first and so are the others. I'm sorry if I had to rant and for you guys to hear it all but I'll try my best.
It might be all freaky but he just called me.
Thankyou Truecap *hug*
Hugs what happened after he called
Hope it all works out.
Posted by Libhel
Thankyou guys! I knew I wouldn't get pleasant responses and maybe I needed to hear the real ones. That's as much as what he said to me too when he tries to cheer me up when I'm hurt.
Aquanoz, he does have those as well and yes I'm a libra 🙂 You are right I probably need to collect myself first and so are the others. I'm sorry if I had to rant and for you guys to hear it all but I'll try my best.
It might be all freaky but he just called me.
why are all these posts about "oh help me get this guy back ect" then later "Oh guess what he called."
so obvious and so predictable. simply and honestly disgusting.
i'm sorry but it's like i see through the bs.
Posted by Impulsv
Only way is to go all in telling him ur insecure didn't believe him due feeling undeserving if love. That u behaved childish trying to make him jeleous because u could no believe he could love you. Tell him I. The future instead of olaying stupid games you will make itself vulnerable n tell him the fears n insecurity.
It may not work but ur not doing it to get him back but because ur actually sorry.
Good luck
+1
That's the respect you give him that he will consider. I know when someone has deeply hurt me I want nothing else to do with them. It will take almost an act of God for me to even give them the time of day to hear them out. I just won't give a damn.
Posted by lisabethur8
i'm sorry but it's like i see through the bs.
It's not bullshit. It's time over time, so this is not me talking. Aqua men can make you think you've really screwed up. Something happens, an argument or you've crossed the line, or they disappear (big complaint on DXP about them). They go aloof and you start feeling like you've screwed up. Truth is they need space and take it without saying anything. Then, when they do contact again, the women are confused and just trying to get a viewpoint on what it means, reassurance one way or the other, good or bad.
Lisa, I'm surprised you're flabbergasted after all these threads we read on here.
Posted by lisabethur8Posted by Libhel
I feel like I've messed up BIG time. I feel like I betrayed him at his most vulnerable moment when he finally opened up to me and I regret it. I miss having him by my side, how he took care of me and how he defended me. I miss him.
How do I apologize? I strictly remember him saying he'll never look back once he had moved on and I haven't heard a single peep from him since we split few months ago.
We have an understanding, both our moons are in pisces. Feels like I know him inside out but for this very fact I'm scared and know how much the betrayal must've hurt him.
Do you aquarius believe in redemption?
Why do you give so much power to someone who doesn't want you by his side? That's all I have to say.click to expand
+1
"HE DOESN'T WANT ME. HOW DO I GET HIM BAAACK??"
Wtf, why would you want someone who's rejected you and taken off like that?
Posted by pathfinderPosted by Impulsv
Only way is to go all in telling him ur insecure didn't believe him due feeling undeserving if love. That u behaved childish trying to make him jeleous because u could no believe he could love you. Tell him I. The future instead of olaying stupid games you will make itself vulnerable n tell him the fears n insecurity.
It may not work but ur not doing it to get him back but because ur actually sorry.
Good luck
+1
That's the respect you give him that he will consider. I know when someone has deeply hurt me I want nothing else to do with them. It will take almost an act of God for me to even give them the time of day to hear them out. I just won't give a damn.click to expand
that's what i feel too. I will forgive them, but it will never be the same ever again.
And its obvious to everyone here whats going on, but these women, especially the ones new here, don't know. Aqua men are not like average men of any other sign. Once you understand them, you realize its their pattern, but most of these gals don't know that.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by lisabethur8Posted by Libhel
I feel like I've messed up BIG time. I feel like I betrayed him at his most vulnerable moment when he finally opened up to me and I regret it. I miss having him by my side, how he took care of me and how he defended me. I miss him.
How do I apologize? I strictly remember him saying he'll never look back once he had moved on and I haven't heard a single peep from him since we split few months ago.
We have an understanding, both our moons are in pisces. Feels like I know him inside out but for this very fact I'm scared and know how much the betrayal must've hurt him.
Do you aquarius believe in redemption?
Why do you give so much power to someone who doesn't want you by his side? That's all I have to say.
+1
"HE DOESN'T WANT ME. HOW DO I GET HIM BAAACK??"
Wtf, why would you want someone who's rejected you and taken off like that?click to expand
And a lot of it is that the guy wasn't into them from the get go.
Posted by truecapPosted by lisabethur8
i'm sorry but it's like i see through the bs.
It's not bullshit. It's time over time, so this is not me talking. Aqua men can make you think you've really screwed up. Something happens, an argument or you've crossed the line, or they disappear (big complaint on DXP about them). They go aloof and you start feeling like you've screwed up. Truth is they need space and take it without saying anything. Then, when they do contact again, the women are confused and just trying to get a viewpoint on what it means, reassurance one way or the other, good or bad.
Lisa, I'm surprised you're flabbergasted after all these threads we read on here.click to expand
yeah i know but it's really no excuse. if i get "lost" in the illusion of it, and clouded, my perception will merge with everyone else. I have to see clarity and for what it is.
If it bothers me I just take a break.
I can't minimize the issues that women find themselves in. Hell that's how I got here in the first place. I was why he do that, why he say that too when I first became a member here. Give the girl a break.
As for leaving for good. No, if I say I love someone I'm in through thick and thin. I may need a break to gather my thoughts (absence makes the heart grow fonder) but my love doesn't waver.
He ain't going nowhere but it may take time for you both to get things back to where they were.
I can't minimize the issues that women find themselves in. Hell that's how I got here in the first place. I was why he do that, why he say that too when I first became a member here. Give the girl a break.
As for leaving for good. No, if I say I love someone I'm in through thick and thin. I may need a break to gather my thoughts (absence makes the heart grow fonder) but my love doesn't waver.
He ain't going nowhere but it may take time for you both to get things back to where they were.
Posted by lisabethur8Posted by truecapPosted by lisabethur8
i'm sorry but it's like i see through the bs.
It's not bullshit. It's time over time, so this is not me talking. Aqua men can make you think you've really screwed up. Something happens, an argument or you've crossed the line, or they disappear (big complaint on DXP about them). They go aloof and you start feeling like you've screwed up. Truth is they need space and take it without saying anything. Then, when they do contact again, the women are confused and just trying to get a viewpoint on what it means, reassurance one way or the other, good or bad.
Lisa, I'm surprised you're flabbergasted after all these threads we read on here.
yeah i know but it's really no excuse. if i get "lost" in the illusion of it, and clouded, my perception will merge with everyone else. I have to see clarity and for what it is.
click to expand
I understand. Just offering a viewpoint from the other side. 🙂
I just wanted to throw out they can make you feel like you've done something wrong or leave you to assume its over, when they just needed space and in their thinking things are hunky dorey. Meanwhile the girl is freaking out. But, then again, a lot of it is the guy is literally running away. lol!
Jeuss Tiz I was thinking the same thing.
I have no idea why you are being so hostile lisabethur8! He did call but it was actually to check up on me. I don't know why people think I'm giving him the power.
Part of me is so sorry to the point I feel like I'm paralysed and afraid he would just take off and I honestly have no idea where to start to apologize. Keep telling myself it should be simple but it never is, is it?
Thankyou again for all the takes on the situation. I think I'll organize an outing as speaking isn't my strong suit but I'll take the advice and let him have his thoughts first.
And yes! The fishpond 😢 I suppose what I'm going though emotionally would be similar to his?
Part of me is so sorry to the point I feel like I'm paralysed and afraid he would just take off and I honestly have no idea where to start to apologize. Keep telling myself it should be simple but it never is, is it?
Thankyou again for all the takes on the situation. I think I'll organize an outing as speaking isn't my strong suit but I'll take the advice and let him have his thoughts first.
And yes! The fishpond 😢 I suppose what I'm going though emotionally would be similar to his?
If you're not good expressing verbally, try writing it out. Don't wait too long, though!
Posted by Libhel
I have no idea why you are being so hostile lisabethur8! He did call but it was actually to check up on me. I don't know why people think I'm giving him the power.
Part of me is so sorry to the point I feel like I'm paralysed and afraid he would just take off and I honestly have no idea where to start to apologize. Keep telling myself it should be simple but it never is, is it?
Thankyou again for all the takes on the situation. I think I'll organize an outing as speaking isn't my strong suit but I'll take the advice and let him have his thoughts first.
And yes! The fishpond 😢 I suppose what I'm going though emotionally would be similar to his?
i just see so many of these posts that ask about said person and then people reply back to you that it's over and you should move on and then all of a sudden out of the blue, "oh hey he's called." like trying to make us all look stupid or somethng. Plus, you're clinging on to him like a vine. Desperation in a woman is gross. So it is the same for a man.
Posted by Libhel
I'm not giving him that power but that's how special he made me feel. I guess maybe if I explain it a bit you might understand why he's hurt right now.
The insecurities part from me is that he IS charming, he IS magnetic and I'm definitely not the first girl to be drawn to his qualities. It may be a classic case of jealousy rearing its ugly head but it's hard not to and I'm not sure if others can relate to this.
When he finally said he loves me I questioned that and I regret it. I may have flirted with a few guys just to get a reaction and yes you can all have a go at me for that but I just wanted to make sure.
you only want him because he IS charming and Magnetic. You dont give a hell of a damn about his feelings or him. You only want him to "capture", and you are the one flirting with other people.
And you flirted to get a "reaction" what are you? Playing games? You enjoy that huh? Game player.
If he goes back to you, that's his problem.
Posted by Libhel
How do I apologize? I strictly remember him saying he'll never look back once he had moved on and I haven't heard a single peep from him since we split few months ago.
We have an understanding, both our moons are in pisces. Feels like I know him inside out but for this very fact I'm scared and know how much the betrayal must've hurt him.
Do you aquarius believe in redemption?
Well it depends on what you did to us. When we attach & love, we do so with such intensity. Unfortunately, when we disconnect or detach, we do so with sudden intensity too.
Remember too that Aquarians are still human. We say things out of anger that we don't necessarily mean just like others. He probably has the courage to cut you off & never talk to you again in the moment & probably believes himself when he says he's done. The million dollar question is: Can Aquarians actually REMAIN that way over long periods of time?
Probably not. We give in & "break" just like others. It may take us a little bit LONGER than most others, but nonetheless we do still have souls & a need to forgive (not for you, but for us).
But again, it depends on what you did.
How should you apologize? Well just be short, sweet & to the point. But add any "BUT's" in your apology, nor make them think that they somehow owe you something (like them taking you back) all b/c you apologized
It takes a while for an apology to set in for us Aquarians b/c we analyze apologies too just like we do everything else. That's why it's SO important for your apology to be genuine!
You stand a greater chance of losing an Aquarian forever by either not ever apologizing at all OR by giving an un-genuine apology
If you messed up, say so. Admit that.
We don't need any long drawn out apology, by the way. Why? B/c long drawn out apologies usually make the person emotional & when another person gets overwhelming emotional, it's a turn off b/c it comes off like the other person is making things about THEM & THEIR feelings as opposed to us/ours, the ones who truly got hurt.
It's important to apologize w/o expectation. We don't want you to apologize only b/c you got caught or think doing so will get us back. We want you to apologize b/c you did something hurtful, whether the outcome is that you got us back or not.
The most annoying thing ever is when someone apologizes to me, then gets upset b/c they feel I didn't respond in the way THEY wanted me to. I hate when others try to tell me how I "should" grieve. I hate when others keep score/count of how many days it takes me to get over something.
Everyone is different & you always have to keep in mind that what you did to them could've been done to them 1,000 times before & might've been their last straw.
List out what you did wrong, don't justify why you hurt him. Just admit that you acknowledge that you did hurt him. And if he truly loves you AND is a forgiving person, he'll be back
He may not come back as fast as you want him to. He may not come back with such a loving intensity as was before when you hadn't hurt him yet. Things may never be the same
BUT in his defense, those are the risks you take when you hurt someone, either intentionally or not.
We don't need any long drawn out apology, by the way. Why? B/c long drawn out apologies usually make the person emotional & when another person gets overwhelming emotional, it's a turn off b/c it comes off like the other person is making things about THEM & THEIR feelings as opposed to us/ours, the ones who truly got hurt.
It's important to apologize w/o expectation. We don't want you to apologize only b/c you got caught or think doing so will get us back. We want you to apologize b/c you did something hurtful, whether the outcome is that you got us back or not.
The most annoying thing ever is when someone apologizes to me, then gets upset b/c they feel I didn't respond in the way THEY wanted me to. I hate when others try to tell me how I "should" grieve. I hate when others keep score/count of how many days it takes me to get over something.
Everyone is different & you always have to keep in mind that what you did to them could've been done to them 1,000 times before & might've been their last straw.
List out what you did wrong, don't justify why you hurt him. Just admit that you acknowledge that you did hurt him. And if he truly loves you AND is a forgiving person, he'll be back
He may not come back as fast as you want him to. He may not come back with such a loving intensity as was before when you hadn't hurt him yet. Things may never be the same
BUT in his defense, those are the risks you take when you hurt someone, either intentionally or not.
I will tell you this though Aquarians have to feel/know that you truly "get it" before they will come back to you. And the best way to show that you "get" that what you did was truly hurtful is to apologize
If you act like the victim, try to apologize and yet justify what you did at the same time OR if you apologize in a rude "Ugh let me just get this over with" way, we won't trust that the apology is genuine
And if we don't trust that the apology is genuine, we'll have every reason to believe that what you did to hurt them will just happen again.
And when an Aquarian feels that you haven't taken full responsibility or when they believe that it's likely to happen again, they probably won't ever come back to you. And if they do, they will never love/trust you with the same intensity or in the same way as before
If you act like the victim, try to apologize and yet justify what you did at the same time OR if you apologize in a rude "Ugh let me just get this over with" way, we won't trust that the apology is genuine
And if we don't trust that the apology is genuine, we'll have every reason to believe that what you did to hurt them will just happen again.
And when an Aquarian feels that you haven't taken full responsibility or when they believe that it's likely to happen again, they probably won't ever come back to you. And if they do, they will never love/trust you with the same intensity or in the same way as before
Posted by tiziani
He sounds like a bit of a drama queen to be honest. Don't get me wrong, if you flirt with other people to get something out of me then you're dead to me. But if you apologize and just explain in plain English why you did it then at least there's room for understanding and letting water under the bridge.
Disclaimer: I am not an Aquarius.
Oh Tiz! I am going to strongly disagree with you, but remember I still gots love for you.
What you said about him being a drama queen is precisely why I think libras should be in the water category and not air. You relate with her because libra is an insecure sign that throws its insecurities around in a relationship at every chance they get
. Insecurities cause drama, and in this given OP, she's the drama queen. Right now I don't even know what she did other than tried to make him jealous and play games to alienate him. If I were to take a lucky and educated guess, it would be that her insecurities got the best of her, and she behaved like an attention seeker. Nothing irks an aqua more than fake people or people who pretend to be something they are not. If she's going around flirting with men to make him jealous, he's thinking "drama queen, attention seeker, potentially a cheater, mentally unstable, too emotional and best of all, insecure as hell". These are all red flags to an aqua. He's cutting his loses while he can and moving on.
As for redemption, aquas are humans as well. Time is a great healer. After some time has passed, he will get over it and if you reach out at the right time, he will make amends with you, but aqua doesn't forget. So he may never want to be with you again, but he will forgive you and be on good terms with you after some time has passed.
Posted by tiziani
Anybody you stand a chance of "losing forever" never loved you enough to begin with. Don't sweat it. It's less stress to develop normal relationships where people recognize life is what happens regardless.
exactly.
don't sweat it.
it's not an "aqua" thing.
you can feel it if they dont like/love you. It's just there. nothing complicated about it.
wish people would just look at it simply like that.
Posted by tizianiPosted by aquarius09Posted by tiziani
He sounds like a bit of a drama queen to be honest. Don't get me wrong, if you flirt with other people to get something out of me then you're dead to me. But if you apologize and just explain in plain English why you did it then at least there's room for understanding and letting water under the bridge.
Disclaimer: I am not an Aquarius.
Oh Tiz! I am going to strongly disagree with you, but remember I still gots love for you.
What you said about him being a drama queen is precisely why I think libras should be in the water category and not air. You relate with her because libra is an insecure sign that throws its insecurities around in a relationship at every chance they get
. Insecurities cause drama, and in this given OP, she's the drama queen. Right now I don't even know what she did other than tried to make him jealous and play games to alienate him. If I were to take a lucky and educated guess, it would be that her insecurities got the best of her, and she behaved like an attention seeker. Nothing irks an aqua more than fake people or people who pretend to be something they are not. If she's going around flirting with men to make him jealous, he's thinking "drama queen, attention seeker, potentially a cheater, mentally unstable, too emotional and best of all, insecure as hell". These are all red flags to an aqua. He's cutting his loses while he can and moving on.
As for redemption, aquas are humans as well. Time is a great healer. After some time has passed, he will get over it and if you reach out at the right time, he will make amends with you, but aqua doesn't forget. So he may never want to be with you again, but he will forgive you and be on good terms with you after some time has passed.click to expand
I'm not quite sure where you got all that from what I said lol but for the record me thinking he sounds like a drama queen isn't saying I think she is excluded from that behaviour.
I just think anyone who says "I'll never look back once I've moved on" is overly dramatic for my taste. I can understand thinking that way but there's no reason to actually say it to another person. What purpose does it serve?
In fairness we only have the OP's word for what h
@Tiz
Well I got that from your words. You only called him a drama queen and not her. Secondly, I don't think he's a drama queen for saying that statement. It's a statement that I have personally made and I know where it emerges from. Aquas specialize in detaching themselves with quickness. So throwing someone away when they wrong us may be painful, but we do it. Aquas are very sensitive within that nobody sees. If you hurt their humongous ego that comes with God complex, that person has burnt bridges. That statement just translates to "you f'ed up and now your punishment is to be deprived of my company". This comment is said to people who screw up big time, not like petty lil things. So the purpose it serves is communication. We are just letting the other person know that 1) you hurt us bad; 2) you've lost us romantically or as friends forever. He will make peace with her or be on good terms but he's not going back to her or that person that wronged them. Aquas and libras differ on that. Libras like to leave their doors open to everyone, especially people from their past. Hence all those "libra man is still in touch with ex", "libra left me for an ex" posts on the libra board. Aquas, on the other hand, like to close doors on wrongdoers. The bigger the wrong, the tighter the door is shut.
Well I got that from your words. You only called him a drama queen and not her. Secondly, I don't think he's a drama queen for saying that statement. It's a statement that I have personally made and I know where it emerges from. Aquas specialize in detaching themselves with quickness. So throwing someone away when they wrong us may be painful, but we do it. Aquas are very sensitive within that nobody sees. If you hurt their humongous ego that comes with God complex, that person has burnt bridges. That statement just translates to "you f'ed up and now your punishment is to be deprived of my company". This comment is said to people who screw up big time, not like petty lil things. So the purpose it serves is communication. We are just letting the other person know that 1) you hurt us bad; 2) you've lost us romantically or as friends forever. He will make peace with her or be on good terms but he's not going back to her or that person that wronged them. Aquas and libras differ on that. Libras like to leave their doors open to everyone, especially people from their past. Hence all those "libra man is still in touch with ex", "libra left me for an ex" posts on the libra board. Aquas, on the other hand, like to close doors on wrongdoers. The bigger the wrong, the tighter the door is shut.
Posted by tizianiPosted by lisabethur8Posted by tiziani
Anybody you stand a chance of "losing forever" never loved you enough to begin with. Don't sweat it. It's less stress to develop normal relationships where people recognize life is what happens regardless.
exactly.
don't sweat it.
it's not an "aqua" thing.
you can feel it if they dont like/love you. It's just there. nothing complicated about it.
wish people would just look at it simply like that.
+1click to expand
🙂 let someone love you for who you are, Tiz. Don't change your nature. All your placements and everything.
Posted by feby16aquaPosted by krysrenee7
Well it depends on what you did to us. When we attach & love, we do so with such intensity. Unfortunately, when we disconnect or detach, we do so with sudden intensity too.
Remember too that Aquarians are still human. We say things out of anger that we don't necessarily mean just like others. He probably has the courage to cut you off & never talk to you again in the moment & probably believes himself when he says he's done. The million dollar question is: Can Aquarians actually REMAIN that way over long periods of time?
Probably not. We give in & "break" just like others. It may take us a little bit LONGER than most others, but nonetheless we do still have souls & a need to forgive (not for you, but for us).
But again, it depends on what you did.
How should you apologize? Well just be short, sweet & to the point. But add any "BUT's" in your apology, nor make them think that they somehow owe you something (like them taking you back) all b/c you apologized
It takes a while for an apology to set in for us Aquarians b/c we analyze apologies too just like we do everything else. That's why it's SO important for your apology to be genuine!
You stand a greater chance of losing an Aquarian forever by either not ever apologizing at all OR by giving an un-genuine apology
I don't know. I've never been able to detach suddenly but it really depends on how attached I am to the person. I usually have to go through the fade out.
I also mean what I say and say what I mean. And if I'm wrong I will try and admit it.click to expand
That sounds very capricornian. Perhaps your cap venus is taking over when this happens?
Posted by tizianiPosted by aquarius09
@Tiz
Well I got that from your words. You only called him a drama queen and not her. Secondly, I don't think he's a drama queen for saying that statement. It's a statement that I have personally made and I know where it emerges from. Aquas specialize in detaching themselves with quickness. So throwing someone away when they wrong us may be painful, but we do it. Aquas are very sensitive within that nobody sees. If you hurt their humongous ego that comes with God complex, that person has burnt bridges. That statement just translates to "you f'ed up and now your punishment is to be deprived of my company". This comment is said to people who screw up big time, not like petty lil things. So the purpose it serves is communication. We are just letting the other person know that 1) you hurt us bad; 2) you've lost us romantically or as friends forever. He will make peace with her or be on good terms but he's not going back to her or that person that wronged them. Aquas and libras differ on that. Libras like to leave their doors open to everyone, especially people from their past. Hence all those "libra man is still in touch with ex", "libra left me for an ex" posts on the libra board. Aquas, on the other hand, like to close doors on wrongdoers. The bigger the wrong, the tighter the door is shut.
Hmmm well I respect the differences you're spelling out. I understand the underlying hurt and of course it's often healthier to close doors if that's a quicker route to making peace and moving onto better things.
There's really no way anyone can hurt me worse than the ways I've let myself down in the past. And I'll make even bigger mistakes in the future. I think time and perspective just stops me from coming out with the movie script lines like YOU'LL LOSE ME FOREVER. I look back at some things I were convinced were someone else's fault, and enough time passes where I accept finally I know I can do better.
I'm not in touch with any of my exes. I don't have any reason to be. I do try and live my life in a way that shows I am a better person for having met them though. I think maybe that's just my way of making sense of it all.click to expand
You'll lose me forever line is quite movie like, but it's something that sums up an aqua opening up, which takes a lot for it to happ
happen. It's like a warning. Lol. Every time I'm getting to know a guy romantically, I say that to them as a warning to pay heed to. Like "I'm opening up to you and there are certain things I have zero tolerance for which will make you lose me forever. God help you if you try to chase me after for forgiveness." I'm not expressive or a smooth talker when I'm bein emotional. It sounds like I'm giving a line. They say that when an aqua becomes emotional and say sweet things or tries to communicate, it sounds like they are insincere or reading a line. Lol. I can see why you as a libra see no need to say lines like that. It's because you guys are emotional enough to communicate effectively and actually are smooth talkers. That trait doesn't run in the air family 😉
And Tiz, I have the same sentiments on not keeping exes around. There is no need for them. Exes just came in your life to teach you something and once that is done, they are gone. Well, you sound like an evolved/wise libra.
I'm about as smooth as a rusty nail 🙂
Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
I'm about as smooth as a rusty nail 🙂
Hahjahaha! Stop being aloof and join in on the fun!
Posted by tiziani
Haha, that's fair enough. I feel like I've learnt something new on how to read between the lines with an Aqua, today.
I'm glad you learned a thing or two about aquas. I know you dated a cancer. From what I gather, you haven't dated an aqua. So, habibi, I wish you a romantic experience with an Aqua.
Posted by aquarius09
@Tiz
Well I got that from your words. You only called him a drama queen and not her. Secondly, I don't think he's a drama queen for saying that statement. It's a statement that I have personally made and I know where it emerges from. Aquas specialize in detaching themselves with quickness. So throwing someone away when they wrong us may be painful, but we do it. Aquas are very sensitive within that nobody sees. If you hurt their humongous ego that comes with God complex, that person has burnt bridges. That statement just translates to "you f'ed up and now your punishment is to be deprived of my company". This comment is said to people who screw up big time, not like petty lil things. So the purpose it serves is communication. We are just letting the other person know that 1) you hurt us bad; 2) you've lost us romantically or as friends forever. He will make peace with her or be on good terms but he's not going back to her or that person that wronged them. Aquas and libras differ on that. Libras like to leave their doors open to everyone, especially people from their past. Hence all those "libra man is still in touch with ex", "libra left me for an ex" posts on the libra board. Aquas, on the other hand, like to close doors on wrongdoers. The bigger the wrong, the tighter the door is shut.
AGREE 100% !
This is exactly how I am
You can't criticize someone for cutting you off when you did something deal-breaking. It doesn't matter if you wouldn't consider it deal-breaking if done to you. It matters that THEY consider it deal-breaking. And deal-breaker literally means it's a DEAL BREAKER as in it's O-V-E-R
If you're gonna victimize someone by committing a deal breaker you can't turn into the victim just b/c that person won't take you back. When you choose the action, you choose the consequence. It may not be fair to get cut off by an Aquarian but how fair was it to the Aquarian that someone did something deal-breaking to them?
Aquarians are pretty fair. We're not petty people. BUT if we tell you that certain things are deal-breakers & there's no "just kidding" or "lol" behind it, then literally means that if you take the risk of doing that deal-breaker, also know that you're taking the risk of losing us forever. And if you take that risk & make that bed, you gotta be prepared to lay in it
There's a difference b/w "Oops I made a petty mistake" vs. "Oh damn, I just turned your whole world upside down! My bad."
Understand that Aquarians don't suddenly cut you off b/c it's our way of hurting you. We do know that silence is the best way to make someone squirm, but if something you did hurt us deeply, our intention isn't to make you squirm, but instead to go into a shell & try to endure the overwhelming bad emotions that your deal-breaking actions brought to our already complex being.
It's just as painful to an Aquarian to let you go as it is for the person being let go
But Aquarians are very good at doing what they've gotta do. And if it's more safe for us to detach & remove ourselves from the situation, then we will do that b/c our loyalty NOW lies with ourselves & not you anymore! And if you can't take that, don't commit a deal-breaker.
Easier said than done, I know, but sometimes it is just that simple.
Everyone handles betrayal differently. You have to respect that. Expect the "disconnect phase" from you to be even longer when you show that you can't respect that.
Understand that Aquarians don't suddenly cut you off b/c it's our way of hurting you. We do know that silence is the best way to make someone squirm, but if something you did hurt us deeply, our intention isn't to make you squirm, but instead to go into a shell & try to endure the overwhelming bad emotions that your deal-breaking actions brought to our already complex being.
It's just as painful to an Aquarian to let you go as it is for the person being let go
But Aquarians are very good at doing what they've gotta do. And if it's more safe for us to detach & remove ourselves from the situation, then we will do that b/c our loyalty NOW lies with ourselves & not you anymore! And if you can't take that, don't commit a deal-breaker.
Easier said than done, I know, but sometimes it is just that simple.
Everyone handles betrayal differently. You have to respect that. Expect the "disconnect phase" from you to be even longer when you show that you can't respect that.
Posted by tiziani
Thank you hayati! Time will tell. I hear it's a very good pairing.
I know you guys are pretty private about your love life, but please let me know if you ever hook up with an Aquarians woman. I would wanna know your perception on this pairing.
Posted by krysrenee7
There's a difference b/w "Oops I made a petty mistake" vs. "Oh damn, I just turned your whole world upside down! My bad."
Understand that Aquarians don't suddenly cut you off b/c it's our way of hurting you. We do know that silence is the best way to make someone squirm, but if something you did hurt us deeply, our intention isn't to make you squirm, but instead to go into a shell & try to endure the overwhelming bad emotions that your deal-breaking actions brought to our already complex being.
It's just as painful to an Aquarian to let you go as it is for the person being let go
But Aquarians are very good at doing what they've gotta do. And if it's more safe for us to detach & remove ourselves from the situation, then we will do that b/c our loyalty NOW lies with ourselves & not you anymore! And if you can't take that, don't commit a deal-breaker.
Easier said than done, I know, but sometimes it is just that simple.
Everyone handles betrayal differently. You have to respect that. Expect the "disconnect phase" from you to be even longer when you show that you can't respect that.
You got it, Krysrenee!!! Thank you for that further elaboration.
Posted by tiziani
You can rationalize it whichever way you choose but the simple truth is people who "love intensely" and then "break up intensely" are showing known patterns of social disorder and sociopathic behaviour. And that's with the greatest respect to everyone who may or may not do that in here.
That is so unfair!
So a person who disconnects from the person who hurts them so that they can get their head together is exhibiting sociopathic behavior? That's bull!
If someone made it a habit & their specific intention to go around giving the silent treatment to people, that would be different.
But I think it's extremely unfair & even ignorant to say that someone is being sociopathic all b/c they choose to remove themselves from a situation that is very painful!
If anything, the person who thinks they can continuously hurt you & yet feel entitled to your forgiveness & your time is the sociopath!
A deal breaker is a deal breaker!
Posted by tiziani
You can rationalize it whichever way you choose but the simple truth is people who "love intensely" and then "break up intensely" are showing known patterns of social disorder and sociopathic behaviour. And that's with the greatest respect to everyone who may or may not do that in here.
That is so unfair!
So a person who disconnects from the person who hurts them so that they can get their head together is exhibiting sociopathic behavior? That's bull!
If someone made it a habit & their specific intention to go around giving the silent treatment to people, that would be different.
But I think it's extremely unfair & even ignorant to say that someone is being sociopathic all b/c they choose to remove themselves from a situation that is very painful!
If anything, the person who thinks they can continuously hurt you & yet feel entitled to your forgiveness & your time is the sociopath!
A deal breaker is a deal breaker!
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Hi, I am an aqua girl. I met this guy 3 years ago at a 5-day event, and we had great connections. He tried to ask me
My best friend is an Aquarius and so is my current girlfriend and everytime they are going through a rough spot they don
Yep, how about an aqua-positive thread for a change! :) Don't know if yall know, but I recently sold my home and bou
So confusing! We broke things off 3 months ago. Actually he ended things, because he said: The feeling is not right. O
Well After being off and On I decided to call it quits on a calm not with my Aqua, as a Cancer its not very easy to just
My Aqua girlfriend told me to meet her at the movies at a time she designated. I get there early and wait. The designa
My sag friend pointed out to me that I'm incapable of showing sadness and grief or even expressing it verbally and she s
(or any man for that matter) I need relationship advice here folks, not dating advice. I already have the man, for al
I am married to this virgo for almost 2 years and already feel like the relationship is dying. I feel so bored with him.
I'm very sarcastic so don't get offended lol How to turn us on: 1. Use your intellect to stimulate us. We're aware t
I would like to alert everyone that not all Aqua's are bad. I'm sorry that the majority of aquarians make the rest of us
I'm a Cancer/Leo cusp. Things started out great... dining me, taking me out, treating me, showering me with love and aff
I think Virgo males match pretty well with Aqua girls and Aqua males match pretty well with Virgo girls. Do you guys see
Today was a great day with my Mr Aqua. Most know my story with Mr Aqua. This weekend I didn't do my usual things to comm
I am really curious what it is like when an aquarius fixates on someone. I witnessed the Leo fixation as an outsider loo
I really miss her. She passed away back in March and I am still grieving. She was only 27 years old and the cause of h
Aquarians are different & have some weird ways of showing interest/feelings BUT Just b/c someone is an Aquarian
So this Aquarius has been following me for years. After we first met four years ago at home @ a party, I was away i
What is it that I have to do to get past that grey area ... When it comes to my aqua girl I've been dating .... Yes I'm
Well, I have a sweet, quirky, but downright weird boyfriend that I love to pieces. I have made out his chart and I have
How do I apologize? I strictly remember him saying he'll never look back once he had moved on and I haven't heard a single peep from him since we split few months ago.
We have an understanding, both our moons are in pisces. Feels like I know him inside out but for this very fact I'm scared and know how much the betrayal must've hurt him.
Do you aquarius believe in redemption?