A rant......

Sometimes I don't understand why things occur in life. I mean, when people come out of left fucking field, they fit into your life, and then it's like a fucking switch gets flipped, and that person is completely different, foreign, and completely out of line.

I get it...... people can be assholes. Whatever. I'm a person and I don't go out of my way and mistreat people. I don't. Never have and never will. I couldn't find an ounce of energy to invest being mean spirited!!!! But, when you do something wrong, you should fix it...... make it right. That is what I've always done. Yes, I'm unconventional in my ways, but I'm a sharp shooter and a straight arrow. There are so many burdens attached to being like this. People sense your strength so they hide in sheep's skin when they really are a wolf.

I don't have the time or the energy to deal with stupid bullshit..... so the door is closed. It's one thing to do something wrong. Apologize, explain, whatever...... be a human being about it. But why do people try and flip the script and then treat you like you've done something wrong—?? That is the part that makes me want to kill somebody..... it's the lack of taking responsability of your action, the ignorance of persoanl accountability that really, really, really gets my blood boiling!!!!!!!!!!!

I could kill right now......

i feel you sweety ad i love the new avatar. for some reason it makes me want to go and by some swiss chocolate 🙂

answer is...you're a woman. as dysfunctional as we can be, there's an aspect of our personality that demands fairness. it's not so much being right/wrong but lack of fairness/rationality/equality bug the hell out of me. i irks me to the core when someone is holding me to a standard they do not hold themselves.

with my aqua-ex, i made a boo-boo, a boo-boo i admitted to, owned up to and this bastard had the nerve to pull the, "i expected more from you" BS. keep in mind, he was one big turd! thing is, it didn't matter how horrible he was, it's that he expected me to be perfect. they expect us to be vacuum sealed and infallible.

so i, like you, struggle with playing the role and being real. i think we're supposed to play the role of Stepford Wife but uhm...naaaaaaaaaah 😉

You're right, I am a woman, but I am also a woman who is surrounded by men and can talk and walk alongside with them. I'm one of the guys. I am dysfunctional at my worst. But you hit the nail on the head by sying that when fairness/rationality/equality get blurred, it instills anger in me.

I take great pride in knowing that I'm not a shady person. Am I someone that comes out with her claws when shitty things happen, yes. I can't help myself. That's my inner bitch. But when you do wrong, you do wrong.

And you're right about the standard.... don't place me in a box. I'm not to be caged. I'm a free spirit. I accept that people make mistakes. I don't accept when ,istakes are made out of mean spiritedness. They say you should never judge a book by it's cover. I agree. You should judge a book by it;s blurb and who the author is. Intention and what others intentions are should be what is judged.

Sometimes it's hard to let go because you don't understand another person who you thought you could trust and who you thought you understood. It's so disheartening that no matter what lessons you learn in life and no matter who you begin to trust and value in life, people are who they are, and by nature, they are flawed and will disappoint you.

To this date, disappointment is the hardest emotion that I've hard to struggle. Anger is what I can control, because that is internal and I have learned how to temper my anger. But when someone disappoints me and treats me unfairly..... I don't know how to handle that at all. It makes me want to hurt......

is this all sparked by the virgo?

you said...

I don't have the time or the energy to deal with stupid bullshit..... so the door is closed. It's one thing to do something wrong. Apologize, explain, whatever...... be a human being about it. But why do people try and flip the script and then treat you like you've done something wrong—?? That is the part that makes me want to kill somebody..... it's the lack of taking responsability of your action, the ignorance of persoanl accountability that really, really, really gets my blood boiling!!!!!!!!!!!

if it is about the virgo, recall what i was saying on that forum about how they some of them are incapable of apologizing. i mean it's disgusting to witness. and yes, they could be 99.9% wrong and yet will spend a lifetime focusing on your .1% .

either way, virgo or not, you can only take responsibility for yourself, your thoughts and your actions. apologies aren't just for the person you're apologizing too. they're also for yourself because what if you apologize and it's not accepted? then what? do you spend the rest of your life trying to apologize in different ways? of course not. a heart felt apology is either accepted or it's not. but there's more to it than that...

once you apologize, even if the person forgives you, don't forget to forgive yourself. learn to let it go. vow to never do whatever it is again and don't do it. that doesn't mean that you may not have some work to do to regain trust or whatever (a person may forgive but never forget), it just means that you can stop punishing yourself for past actions/words. it means you give yourself permission to change and put the past in the past. eventually, people will notice the change and the apology becomes all the more real.

so who cares if he/she/they don't accept your apology. you stepped up like a woman, humbled yourself, admitted fault and now, it's time to DO better. don't allow someone to punish you for who you were. just show them who you are.

It's not just sparked from the Virgo.... it's people in general. I've been screwed over by some people that I have called very good friends. The person that I was in love with that cheated on me splintered my life into pieces when I found out all the lies that he had told. Everybody that I have gone toe-to-toe with have always tried to flip the script. They do purposely hurtful things to make me weak, and when I respond with strength and caliber, that's when they start to disappear.

Shit, once I'm at that point, I'm gonna chase you to confront you. Most people don't like that.......... they can't tolerate it!!!! But they always regret it. Always!!!! I have people come up to me years later to apologize to me for what they did.

I just hate it.... be real and be upfront. Why is this hard? It's more energy wastes when you plot against somebody..... living real means you can live simply. People should try it for a change, rather than get their panties shoved up their twat.....

Looks like the energy you spew caught up to you.


what did you expect? Nice things? You're a hateful bitch .. so you get what you give.


It's called karma, dumbass.

Posted by P-Angel
Looks like the energy you spew caught up to you.


what did you expect? Nice things? You're a hateful bitch .. so you get what you give.


It's called karma, dumbass.

I'm not hateful by any means..... I'm a good person. I give a lot to people. You act like you know me.... I may be gullible, but I am not mean spirited by any means. I've learned the importance to let go of things because of my anger..... next time come at me with facts, rather than ficticious things you make up in that crazy head of yours.....

Aqualeo.... thanks for your post. There is nothing more to say, because you are correct.

I have learned that trust is subjective, and the people that you trust are objective. There ar no guarentees..... people will do what is right by them when it comes to crunch time. I have learned that the hard way. The very, very hard way.....but what is life if you cannot expand yourself and learn?

I take my lessons, I just hate feeling disappointed when I'm let down by those I deem worthy.It takes a lot for me to trust people. I've been told that I have a thick wall..... I don't know how to live any way differently. It's out of protection that I do it. But I hate betrayals. I hate lies. I hate people not having personal accountability.

I could never treat a person with disregard. Ever. An argument or a disagreement is one thing. For me to draw blood means that I have been taken to a whole different plane.

Thanks again for your words...... it doesn't stop me for what it is that I'm doing in life. It just sucks, ya know.....

Come at you?


You think you are it, don't you?

You think people want to come at you, like you are worth something?



You are the one in here bitching about being a victim of circumstances .... are you so stupid that you know not that YOU make your circumstances?



:::: shakes head :::::


you probably are

really p-angle..... you are the one on the attack here. If you can actually prove your points with my own words, then I might be inclined to believe you.

And yes, I am all that because I am an honest person who acknowledges process-by-process how long of a journey life is, and how that shapes me into me. These are my experiences. You offer no worthy feedback. You spew hate towards people.

You do this often. It's how you post and conduct yourself. Me, I'm on here to discuss with people and offer advice based on my personal experiences. I can honestly say that I have learned some valuable lessons from people on here, just by being open and discussing. I can express myself here, and this has been a valuable outlet for me that has actually helped me.

So I might not be conventional in my approach at times, but through discussions and conversating back and forth with people, I have been able to go through that process of self-analyzing and gaining a greater sense of my circumstances, thus allows me to gain a greater understanding. That is why I am here.

Why are you here, and why do you post your nasty comments to people that are going through something that is important to them? You claim to be an enlightened individual...... what do you gain from being here— What do you gain from being nasty towards people on a message board?

Pathetic behavior, if you ask me.........

M.I.A - she's sorta right. i wish people would stop focusing on the delivery so much.

i'm not going to get into the previous posts she made but this statement..."YOU make your circumstances" is spot on.

i know, right now, you're not looking for advice per se. that's why you entitled the thread "a rant" and not, "a cry for help." you're venting, i get that.

i sense a strong woman in you and i think you're on the precipice of recognizing what that truly means. i think the hurt that virgo has inflicted will either cause you to grow or result in your being bitter and setting you back emotionally.

what p-angel said is about growth. you make your own circumstances...the only person you can control is you. if you don't like what you're getting, make a change within yourself...in your surroundings, in the people you choose to associate yourself with. there's no reason to be upset/angry/sad when you acknowledge that you have choices. she's saying, choose to be happy.

your posts come across as...exasperated...lost and disappointed. and at the same time, it's hard to deny your strength. you're not a weak woman and yet, right now, you're behaving weakly. as women, we all understand it...we've all been there. you have to weather it. we just want you to weather it faster...to stop hurting over someone who doesn't deserve you. understand?

i don't know if that's what p-angel was getting at but it's the reason why i keep responding. i know that it's just going to take you time to get there but i don't doubt that you get there. she just wants you "there" NOW!

*shrugs* ok, nite for real this time.

tubby.... when have I not said this myself— In the other thread that we are having a discussion in, I have even talked about my own personal responsability and how I place the blame on me for allowing this to happen. I am the epiphany of personal growth.......

and I am there..... I have no idea what you are talking about, because I have said home skillet is out of my life. I understand his situation, I understand him as a person..... why is that a bad things—?? I can still care about him. I know that his life isn't on the straight and arrow right now, and that is why I can't have him around because of his actions towards me.

P-angel is a hateful person towards a lot of people. Discussing is one thing, but she purposely goes out and attacks people. That is not right, especially when somebody is going through the motions of something. We are here to discuss..... sorry, can't agree with you on this one tubby!!!!

i don't know the history of your relationship with p-angel and i haven't been here long enough to read enough of her posts to know where she's coming from. i will say that the first post was rude. she seems smart enough to not resort to 4-5 letter words to get her point across.

you're also smart enough to recognize when you're being baited so you should've ignored the first post at least if it had nothing to do with you.

i honestly don't even know what the topic is anymore. i think the bigger point is that you're still frustrated...which is to be expected. i don't know you so all i can do is hope that frustration propels you forward rather than eats away at you. that's what i gathered from that line in p-angel's post. the other stuff she said, you have every right to be ticked but even people you don't like can offer a bit wisdom. separate the person from the message and if it's it's true take it in. if not, don't.