ARIES MAN... wtf!!!

Ok, where to begin!!

First off, I am a Libra female, asking about an Aries male, I will try to make this as concise as possible, lol. here goes!!

We met about two years ago, and developed a really close friendship. NEVER did i ever feel so closely bonded with any other human being, man or woman, in my life. He was a rock, made me feel safe, and he knew everything about me, and I him, or for the most part. i trusted him with my LIFE. After some time of being inseparable as best friends, he told me he had an "attraction to me" which in return i told him that i didnt see him in that way, and we continued the friendship.

FF a few months later, i started to have feelings for him, too. I buried them for a month until one night after some drinks i confessed to him through text how i felt. Ever since then, we were together.

Now for the relationshippy part:

SO- despite all the obstacles we faced, which was MANY, we remained together for about 1 year and 3 months. He has a 3 year old baby with another woman, which i fully accepted and LOVE this baby as if she were my own, and i always did. Anywho, the mother of his daughter was never aware that he was with someone, for this whole time. He was afraid that she would "take the baby away" from him if she knew he was with someone else. Now, mind you, i am amazing with children, i am going to be a teacher, and have great family values, just the type of woman you would want around a child.

Anyways, going on, in a nutshell, i was a secret to every important person in his life. the mother (of the baby) never knew. He never admitted to his family that we were together, although they had a hunch since our friendship. I was never introduced as the "girlfriend" Now, i know Aries men like to be sure, but common! His sister, well she didnt like me after we started dating, and she would pick on me a lot, which he wouldnt stick for me. His excuse was that she wanted the attention and he wasnt going to give into it.
According to him, we were serious. He never told a girl "i love you" and never did things for his ex girlfriends, like "be emotional" or take them out to fancy places, etc. After about 8 months, we would talk about getting married, and he would talk about the ring hed get me and everything.

Now, to explain the current situation:

(see post below!)

Come December 2011, something changed. His family was out of town, and we were spending a lot of time together, almost every day nearly. In my mind, i thought of it as a "test run?? for a living situation or married situation. Well, him being a 24 year old male, all he wanted to do was Party. The friends were ALWAYS over, and after some time I found myself fighting for his attention.
Then, in February, I found out that 7 months into our relationship, he kissed his EX. She was staying over the house as a guest of his sisters, (for weeks! Wtf) anyway- I found facebook messages in his account, in which they were making plans for sex. He swore to me up and down that he went down to her room, and was outta there in 5 minutes, because he couldn't go through with it. (his exact words were that he couldn't even get it up. Lol) He said that after that, ALL he could think of was me, and blab la bla. Who knows if this is really true, as I didn't know what to believe really.
Now comes to the current situation.
I was DEVASTATED. I never thought he was capable of such a thing. He said its because he was —depressed?? at the time. And also that since I —didn't trust him?? he may as well have just done whatever it was. But common- what girl would be OK with an ex staying at his house for 3 weeks? Just because it made me uneasy doesn't mean I didn't trust him! A few days later, I broke up with him. But after a while, I got kind of over it, or managed to clear my head. So I went back to him, and I told him something along the lines of this:
I want to be with you, and I want to forgive you. But things need to change. I need to see that youre serious about me, none of this secrecy bullshit. If we are going to do it, we are going to do it right. He said he needed time to think. And now, he says he does not want to be with me. Because he can't handle the responsibility of —dealing with my emotions?? (that he caused) all he keeps saying is that —maybe in the future we can try again. But he wants to stay friends??
He says I haven't given him peace of mind since this whole thing. But when I don't contact him, he contacts me, then when I get emo, he turns it on me again. Hes the master flipper.
All of these things made me really insecure overtime, I always questioned how serious he ever was about me. And his point of view is that I always fought with him for no reason. I don't really think he sees any fault in his self. (in true aries styl

Now, this guy is the MOST stubborn Aries I think to ever roam the earth. He is like a closed book a lot of the time, except he cried when I found out. Other than that, I feel like hes SO DAMN GOOD at hiding his emotions. Are they there?? I don't know what to do. Will he ever come back?? Why do I even want someone LIKE this back?? He doesn't seem to care, but then when I say he doesn't he says stuff like —ok lets hang out so u stop talking sh*t saying I don't care?? (like hes doing me a favor??_)

SORRRRRY its so long...!!

HMM whats his moon sign?

I dated an Aries guy once, never again. He was mean, cheated on me and was super selfish. But we do hide our emotions except ANGER. But anything else would make us feel weak.

Posted by LibraGal
Now, this guy is the MOST stubborn Aries I think to ever roam the earth. He is like a closed book a lot of the time, except he cried when I found out. Other than that, I feel like hes SO DAMN GOOD at hiding his emotions. Are they there?? I don't know what to do. Will he ever come back?? Why do I even want someone LIKE this back?? He doesn't seem to care, but then when I say he doesn't he says stuff like —ok lets hang out so u stop talking sh*t saying I don't care?? (like hes doing me a favor??_)

SORRRRRY its so long...!!

Oh goodness...tell him to kiss your ass and keep it moving.

Posted by Love366

Posted by LibraGal
Now, this guy is the MOST stubborn Aries I think to ever roam the earth. He is like a closed book a lot of the time, except he cried when I found out. Other than that, I feel like hes SO DAMN GOOD at hiding his emotions. Are they there?? I don't know what to do. Will he ever come back?? Why do I even want someone LIKE this back?? He doesn't seem to care, but then when I say he doesn't he says stuff like —ok lets hang out so u stop talking sh*t saying I don't care?? (like hes doing me a favor??_)

SORRRRRY its so long...!!

Oh goodness...tell him to kiss your ass and keep it moving.

click to expand

+1!

I would NOT be cool with a guy not introducing me to family/friends if we've been together for 6 months- let alone a year! AND he kissed his ex? You deserve better lady. You really do.

Here is the moon sign and other significants:

MINE:
Sun Libra 0.52 Ascendant Cancer 24.36
Moon Gemini 9.56 II Leo 14.18
Mercury Libra 15.11 III Virgo 7.48
Venus Scorpio 12.49 IV Libra 7.37
Mars Capricorn 22.31 V Scorpio 14.12
Jupiter Pisces 16.08 R VI Sagittarius 21.59
Saturn Sagittarius 4.52 VII Capricorn 24.36
Uranus Sagittarius 18.41 VIII Aquarius 14.18
Neptune Capricorn 3.04 IX Pisces 7.48
Pluto Scorpio 5.53 Midheaven Aries 7.37
Lilith Gemini 23.21 XI Taurus 14.12
Asc node Aries 20.48 XII Gemini 21.59


HIS:

Sun Aries 11.14 Ascendant Cancer 17.27
Moon Taurus 17.18 II Leo 18.34
Mercury Pisces 14.10 III Virgo 21.43
Venus Pisces 4.34 IV Libra 24.21
Mars Taurus 27.11 V Scorpio 23.57
Jupiter Aries 7.10 VI Sagittarius 20.55
Saturn Sagittarius 21.10 R VII Capricorn 17.27
Uranus Sagittarius 26.44 R VIII Aquarius 18.34
Neptune Capricorn 7.59 IX Pisces 21.43
Pluto Scorpio 9.20 R Midheaven Aries 24.21
Lilith Cancer 14.26 XI Taurus 23.57
Asc node Aries 11.35 XII Gemini 20.55



Ladies, THANK YOU for reminding me that i deserve better. At times i feel as if IM crazy!!! lol. i feel like the obsessing might be a part of the process.

Last night we actually saw eachother for the first time in weeks. He told me that he is feeling quite bad, and just because he doesnt "get emotional or cry" like i do, doesn't mean that he doesnt feel the same way i do. Hes just got a different way of handling things. Which i get. He said things like "he should of done things different" I feel like that convo gave me a lot of clarity. Im wondering though, if this is is way of trying to reconcile. But i wont push the issue regardless. By the end of the night we kissed. but agreed that its wrong. and today there has been no contact. the connection we have is CRAZY though, like, ya cant even act like it doesnt exist. because its there and you feel it. even if you dont want to, then the reality kicks in. lol

but hey, i guess only time will tell, either ill move on, or fate will bring us back together one day. (thinking this way brings me peace of mind, somehow.) For now, im focusing on ME. phew.

Oh boy, an Aries man is quite a handful even under normal circumstances, but your story sounds anything but normal. The one quality I will always recognize in Aries men is that they're un-bloody-believable when it comes to sex. BUT they'll have no issues about using that to manipulate you. That's one of the reasons why you think there's a crazy connection between you two. The fact is, the only thing that's CRAZY is him treating you like being with you is some sort of favour he's offering. Again, something I've struggled with myself with the Aries man who was shortly in my bed (I wouldn't venture to say he was shortly in my life, though - he never made it to that status).
The other thing with Aries people - both men and women - is that they need their freedom like air, can't breathe without it, and are apt to run away if they feel that freedom is endangered. And this is particularly true with young people. However, that does not excuse his behaviour. He's certainly willing to sleep with you, but it doesn't look like he's offering much else. And unless you're happy with JUST sex, I suggest you cut him off completely, at least for a while, until he gets his act together. IF he ever does...

Oh boy, an Aries man is quite a handful even under normal circumstances, but your story sounds anything but normal. The one quality I will always recognize in Aries men is that they're un-bloody-believable when it comes to sex. BUT they'll have no issues about using that to manipulate you. That's one of the reasons why you think there's a crazy connection between you two. The fact is, the only thing that's CRAZY is him treating you like being with you is some sort of favour he's offering. Again, something I've struggled with myself with the Aries man who was shortly in my bed (I wouldn't venture to say he was shortly in my life, though - he never made it to that status).
The other thing with Aries people - both men and women - is that they need their freedom like air, can't breathe without it, and are apt to run away if they feel that freedom is endangered. And this is particularly true with young people. However, that does not excuse his behaviour. He's certainly willing to sleep with you, but it doesn't look like he's offering much else. And unless you're happy with JUST sex, I suggest you cut him off completely, at least for a while, until he gets his act together. IF he ever does...

Oh boy, and another one bites the dust. Girl you are walking in my shoes in a straight line. I'm going through the EXACT same issue with my Aries. Problems communicating his feelings and showing emotion, or problems with communication altogether. The only time he shows his emotions or any sign of feeling is when he thinks im about to stop talking to him. Then he turns into the sweetest most attentive person I've ever met. However at least your Aries gave you two a shot at a committed relationship, my Aries refuses to risk it not working out with me and we end up hating each other, or me hating him rather??_. He and I have been around one another since childhood and have always had huge crushes on one another. Our families are close so I don't really have to meet his. They already know about me and vice versa. He says that would really hurt him more than ever if we tried and I ended up hating him because it didn't work. And since he knows in his heart that he doesn't have the tools he feels a man needs to commit than he doesn't want to take me down that rode. Says when he's ready im the one, the ONLY one he would want to try with. I would suggest taking @Rebecca83's advice.

I know I am shoot. I would also suggest toning down the emotional talk and talk on being together. I'm going to take my own advice. I think my Aries secretly takes our relationship a lot more serious than I think which is why he wont chance it falling apart because we rushed a relationship. I have no choice but to wait and see, and as hard as it has been over the past 9 months I will have to get a better grip on my emotions. It's just so damn hard. Those Aries/Libra sparks will certainly spark your Libra heart with a fury not even the hugest water fall can put out. His birthday is tomorrow and I'm supposed to see him to give his gift. Wish me luck. My goal is to be carefree, light, sexy and independent. Even though I really want to hug kiss kiss kiss and more kiss and spend the whole day with him. Lol. ~Sigh~

9 months you say!? you must be at the edge of insanity LOL..

Yeah, his birthday is on April 1, and its ALREADY driving me insane that we cant spend it together like a normal couple. He invited me out though, but i dont know if im going to go. It might be way too hard for me. Im secretly hoping that it will hit him then, when hes without me on his birthday,.. but it could be wishful thinking lol.

It has been ridiculously hard, my life just doesnt feel the same without him in it.. i still cry all the time, although its toned down compared to how it used to be. At least i dont cry in front of him anymore lol.

I have my hands full, theres SOOO much more to his story too. (we are in a biracial relationship, my family wouldn't accept it,hes an international student, planning to leave soon, etc, in a nutshell) BUT- from his perspective, I am the one that is too much to handle, because i wanted more, and i get emotional about it. To me, it is all normal stuff, part of a relationship. like meeting his parents. he took it to mean that we are getting married if he just introduces me.

Whenever i say that he "never loved me" or "doesnt care" he seems to get really upset though, and got even more upset about the fact that my family knows whats going on between us. He thinks they "hate him" and got really bent outta shape over it..

my instincts tell me to let some more time pass, and keep acting carefree like @Alibra is trying to do. (i feel your pain, girl) ... i think the connection is real between both of us, he says hes never felt a connection like this before either, but it doesnt seem to make him be in a rush to work it out. thats what i dont get, they SAY aries people always rush, but mine took and continues to take nothing but his sweet ass time.

The HOPE of "what if" drives me insane. I just wish that i never met him. Ive been through breakups before but this entailed losing my best friend, and the love of my life. its terrible. i keep thinking that time will tell everything, and whats meant to be will be. two very cliche things to say, but i guess it provides me with SOME peace of mind.... sigh...

Yes. 9 LOoooong Months and that's nothing if you include our childhood. You are absolutely right I am on edge. His birthday is today and if he leaves me out completely im throwing my hands up. I know it will be extreamly hard, because I find it hard not to respond even when he just sends a simple text like "hi, wat u doin" I just have to respond. But that's about to change.

Its even worse because the whole family and even friends of his (ones that will probably never settle down) even say he's trippin and crazy for not commiting to me. They say im the full package. But its okay. I'm going to suck it up. I love him, but im not dumb over him and its about time he see's that. Im hoping this draw back on my part will make him see what life is like without me completely. If it doesn't bother him then I know for sure we are simply not meant, and it will hurt but time heals all pain. I only wish I didn't have to see him at family functions and stuff, plus it doesn't help that we share a favorite cousin. UGH.

And don't worry about crying. Cry until your face wont create anymore. Talk about as much as you need to so you will become okay with how things went down. Try to become one with the fact that you may always love him, but you cannot wait for him. An Aries wont respect a woman that does anyway. That's why I've already started dating others (no sex, just hanging out having fun with others.) However, I wont be sharing that little detail with my Aries I'll just let him wonder like he does me. Hope this works.

So...here's an update.. Months after this terrible breakup, aries man and I are attempting a "friendship".

So, after a vacation, and not speaking for weeks, I saw him last week... there was UNDOUBTABLY love there. We felt it. It was undeniable... Bla bla bla.... One thing led to another any, well, you know.. Things happened..

All he kept saying was "I wish it didn't have to be this way" and talked a lot about how he's moving in a month (far far awayyyy, Africa if you will....funny I know.) and pretty much said that it will never work if he's there and we should try to salvage a friendship... And if that wasn't the case, I would not even try.. But we did begin as friends, after all. Now if it were up to me, I would spend as much time as I can with him before he goes... I know we love each other, but it's become such a game.. It isn't even about this past stuff.. I don't even know what it's about anymore.. I know the love is there and we've both admitted it about a week ago.. So.. I don't know what do do, but try and be friends, and see what happens...

While I want to be friends and have him in my life, I can't help but to think, "what if?" and to be honest, I know deep down I would jump at the chance to be with him, although he must think I'm over it.. As soon as I mentioned this other guy, he jumped at a chance to see me or make time for me (here and there, nothing crazy)

I've been doing a GREAT job of acting like I don't care about him in that way anymore.. I told him I'm seeing a few new guys, etc.. (he DID tell me to move on, so there he has it) anyway.. He was like "oh maybe I should try dating too..." etc.. I don't know if he was trying to make me jealous but I didnt show it. I actually told him He should do it.. (I'm confident he'll see there's no one better than me out there, lol) . Right now, it's become a different type of power struggle, the game of who can show less emotion.. I don't know, that's what I feel like... I really do love the man...and I tried doing anythingmpossiblemto get over him, including flying across the country on a days notice to gain some sanity and perspective... And while it helped. A LOT, I still love him and want him back.. Although I am done saying this to him..

So for all the Aries out there, I know they say Aries can be selfish and bla bla bla... But how can I know what he really feels?? There has to be a real reason he doesn't wanna try. I don't think it's someone else.. But what?? What DO I DO