Aries Silence

Profile picture of AQ0206
AQ0206
@AQ0206
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 104 · Topics: 3
What might this indicate?

An Aries ex of mine was recently gifted (by me, voluntarily, about $ 1,000 dollars in an effort to repay tax debt). I haven't received a "Thank you" or--really any acknowledgement what-so-ever for my kindness. This is a person with whom I was in a relationship for 8 years... Nothing in response to this.

Yet, he calls, texts, asks favors, wants to meet-up randomly in the meantime.

What's the deal, here?
Profile picture of ariessungoddess
ariessungoddess
@ariessungoddess
9 YearsAries

Comments: 26 · Posts: 451 · Topics: 37
we are a bunch of proud people and we'd like to do others favours (although not money, that's like the last help you might receive from an aries honestly) so to take your help would kinda hurt his pride and maybe he shrugs off to feel he owes you all the time and trivializes it. but not thanking you for it is really impolite and improper manners. you deserve better than that to have paid for him and stuff. maybe he's just a bad aries ripping you off of what you have. next time you have a spare $ 1000 just think about donating where necessary.
Profile picture of AQ0206
AQ0206
@AQ0206
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 104 · Topics: 3
Posted by AriesLove
It was "voluntarily" meaning he didn't ask for the money you just gave it?

Why are you paying a grown mans tax debts "voluntarily"

He probably isn't thinking anything of it. Since you "voluntarily" gave it. You must have it to give and it's not a big deal. Maybe he doesn't want to feel like he owes you anything in the future so he's acting like it's meaningless.

Then he continues on with his normal routine of taking advantage of you.
Well, we were married and both of our names were on it. I just thought, hey, you know.. this is a nice thing to do. I had the money (he likely did, too), but.. I guess I was expecting (at the very least), a thank you.

He knows it means something to me, because on of my primary goals over the past few years has been to set aside funds. I'm thinking you're on to something with regards to treating it as meaningless.

I wanted to hear whether you (guys in general) thought this was a situation where he was just using me to benefit himself and really has no regard for me underneath it all, or not.
Profile picture of AQ0206
AQ0206
@AQ0206
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 104 · Topics: 3
Posted by Explicit
Crazy women these days...

Giving a thousand dollars to their ex-bf's.

LOL girl what were you thinking? I feel like you should cut him off and move on. You guys were together for 8 years and it ended. It had to end for a reason. There is always a reason. Free yourself from the string that connects you two so you can finally move on once and for all. There is no need to keep in contact with him. And he seems to be using you.
The tricky part is that we were married, so technically his name was on it, too. I just thought it would be the nice thing to do. I have the money, so it was whatever, really. Ultimately, I do still care about what happens to him as a person. I don't feel resentment toward the end of the marriage or anything like that... I guess I'm just surprised at the lack of decency. No, thank you? Like.. really, though?

I'm trying to discern how much of his desire to keep in touch with me is for selfish purposes.

Maybe this situation existed in the first place just to make that clear to me. Up until this point, we've relied on one another in times of need and gotten together, been friendly, but.. the lack of appreciation is leading me to second guess a lot of what I imagined reality to be.

Profile picture of AQ0206
AQ0206
@AQ0206
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 104 · Topics: 3
Posted by ariessungoddess
we are a bunch of proud people and we'd like to do others favours (although not money, that's like the last help you might receive from an aries honestly) so to take your help would kinda hurt his pride and maybe he shrugs off to feel he owes you all the time and trivializes it. but not thanking you for it is really impolite and improper manners. you deserve better than that to have paid for him and stuff. maybe he's just a bad aries ripping you off of what you have. next time you have a spare $ 1000 just think about donating where necessary.
Thank you for your guidance. I kind of needed for someone to reinforce my personal belief that a "Thank you" would be warranted in this situation. I understand that I did volunteer to do him a favor, so I can't really be mad, but courteous behavior is always appropriate. I deserved to hear a little acknowledgement, being that we were married, and if I hadn't paid it... the IRS would have been on him for the remaining portion. This is a man who doesn't like to let go of money (he's not that great at saving his), so perhaps that was it. Maybe he's trying to preserve his ego.

Profile picture of AQ0206
AQ0206
@AQ0206
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 104 · Topics: 3
Posted by champranger
Posted by AQ0206
Posted by AriesLove
It was "voluntarily" meaning he didn't ask for the money you just gave it?

Why are you paying a grown mans tax debts "voluntarily"

He probably isn't thinking anything of it. Since you "voluntarily" gave it. You must have it to give and it's not a big deal. Maybe he doesn't want to feel like he owes you anything in the future so he's acting like it's meaningless.

Then he continues on with his normal routine of taking advantage of you.
Well, we were married and both of our names were on it. I just thought, hey, you know.. this is a nice thing to do. I had the money (he likely did, too), but.. I guess I was expecting (at the very least), a thank you.

He knows it means something to me, because on of my primary goals over the past few years has been to set aside funds. I'm thinking you're on to something with regards to treating it as meaningless.

I wanted to hear whether you (guys in general) thought this was a situation where he was just using me to benefit himself and really has no regard for me underneath it all, or not.
He also knows that he can get money from you, without having to pay it back, imo.

click to expand

That's so selfish though, is it not? I hope that one day he realizes that that kind of behavior is detrimental to relationships of all kinds. At the end of the day, who's going to continue to stand by that kind of behavior? I am a very forgiving person, but there has to be a line. I don't care about the money. It's not the money. It's about his behavior. Yeesh..

Thanks for your input.
Profile picture of AQ0206
AQ0206
@AQ0206
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 104 · Topics: 3
Posted by champranger
Posted by AQ0206
Posted by champranger
Posted by AQ0206
Posted by AriesLove
It was "voluntarily" meaning he didn't ask for the money you just gave it?

Why are you paying a grown mans tax debts "voluntarily"

He probably isn't thinking anything of it. Since you "voluntarily" gave it. You must have it to give and it's not a big deal. Maybe he doesn't want to feel like he owes you anything in the future so he's acting like it's meaningless.

Then he continues on with his normal routine of taking advantage of you.
Well, we were married and both of our names were on it. I just thought, hey, you know.. this is a nice thing to do. I had the money (he likely did, too), but.. I guess I was expecting (at the very least), a thank you.

He knows it means something to me, because on of my primary goals over the past few years has been to set aside funds. I'm thinking you're on to something with regards to treating it as meaningless.

I wanted to hear whether you (guys in general) thought this was a situation where he was just using me to benefit himself and really has no regard for me underneath it all, or not.
He also knows that he can get money from you, without having to pay it back, imo.


That's so selfish though, is it not? I hope that one day he realizes that that kind of behavior is detrimental to relationships of all kinds. At the end of the day, who's going to continue to stand by that kind of behavior? I am a very forgiving person, but there has to be a line. I don't care about the money. It's not the money. It's about his behavior. Yeesh..

Thanks for your input.


It is selfish. But you're letting him getting away with it. So he'll probably be back asking you for money again. He'll respect a lot more to the person who stand against this kind of behaviour.

IMO 🙂
click to expand

Yeah, I agree with you. Though, I don't want to fight him. IMO, he doesn't deserve that kind of face-to-face with me over this issue. I think what I ultimately needed is for other people to reinforce that my thoughts aren't out of line in terms of thinking he could probably be doing better. If I start an argument with him, the relationship will perpetuate and he could use it as ammo to gas-light me and call me crazy or whatever. I hate to lose the friendship with this person because he's been in my life for a long, long time and I care about him from the very depths of my heart.

I guess I have some reflecting to do. Maybe it's time to just let this one fall by the wayside. My Aqua energy doesn't really vibe with that, but.
Profile picture of AQ0206
AQ0206
@AQ0206
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 104 · Topics: 3
Posted by champranger
Posted by AQ0206
Yeah, I agree with you. Though, I don't want to fight him. IMO, he doesn't deserve that kind of face-to-face with me over this issue. I think what I ultimately needed is for other people to reinforce that my thoughts aren't out of line in terms of thinking he could probably be doing better. If I start an argument with him, the relationship will perpetuate and he could use it as ammo to gas-light me and call me crazy or whatever. I hate to lose the friendship with this person because he's been in my life for a long, long time and I care about him from the very depths of my heart.

I guess I have some reflecting to do. Maybe it's time to just let this one fall by the wayside. My Aqua energy doesn't really vibe with that, but.

I understand, it sux. 😢 You might not have to cut ties entirely but just show him that you would not take that kind of behaviour from him. He's either gonna disappear on you (sadly 😢) or he'll do better. 🙂

IMO 🙂
click to expand

I believe that is my best option. Thank you so much for your help. I feel better, at least, being able to set an intention for myself over the matter. I almost started rage texting last night, LOL. I'm glad I came here instead.