do aries hate feelings?

i'm a capricorn and i'm pretty emotionally driven and i'm super annalytical over everything. i want to know whats happening, what your intentions are, how you feel and why, and so on. with the aries, i never know where i stand. every time i try to talk to him about feelings, he is very defensive and says that i am addressing him in an aggressive manner and that he doesn't want to deal with it. i can understand why he might feel that way because i am very doubtful and suspicious of him, but i'm not like, mean about it. i just ask him if his feelings have changed or say that things feel different or something like that. he makes a big ordeal about it every time like 'oh boy here we go again', when all i'm looking for is honesty and/or reassurance. is it an aries thing to hate dealing with feelings, or other people's feelings?


i've been talking to this guy off and on for 6 years. he lives states away and is in a pretty well known band, so needless to say, i have always been wary of what his true intentions are. the whole time, he has always said he liked me and acted as such and has invited me to stay with him. we will be fine for a few weeks or months and then stop talking for a few months and then pick up where we left off. everything is always on his terms. we recently started talking again, and this time he actually seems somewhat sincere. my big thing with him has always been that actions speak louder than words and if he cares, he needs to show me. this time, he has been texting me first, saying sweet things, actually brought up being in a relationship, and has made comments about things he likes/notices about me or ways that i've changed. all that kind of stopped for a few days and the "baby"s and "sweetie"s were replaced with "sis" and "mamacita" and we just didnt really talk and he didnt say sweet stuff so it made me feel like something was up and i told him things felt weird and he totally went off.

we hate you

Posted by nomorepajamas
i. i can understand why he might feel that way because i am very doubtful and suspicious of him, but i'm not like, mean about it. i just ask him if his feelings have changed or say that things feel different or something like that. he makes a big ordeal about it every time like 'oh boy here we go again', when all i'm looking for is honesty and/or reassurance. is it an aries thing to hate dealing with feelings, or other people's feelings?

This right here might be what pushes him away, speaking only from my own experience with a capricorn. I hate being nagged and i hate whiney insecure people. Don't misunderstand I do find some points of earth and specifically Capricorn very attractive. I like the realistic ambition, depth of sentiment and quiet romantic gestures. On the other hand the negative aspects outweigh the positive and that would be the nagging, never lets an issue go and stubbornness. If one wants to make anything work with an aries one has to be able to truly forgive and forget and never criticize. Stop analyzing and agonizing every little detail of what he did and didn't do. Aries are happy cheerful people who need that from their partners.

thanks for the feedback! we had a heart to heart after this and he explained some things to me and i can see better where he's coming from. it's just such a weird situation because we don't get to spend time together and we can only really get to know each other from texts, and thats not the best way to get to know someone. my best friend is an aries and he is super emotional and we get along really well so i was kind of confused.

Posted by luxe

Posted by nomorepajamas
i. i can understand why he might feel that way because i am very doubtful and suspicious of him, but i'm not like, mean about it. i just ask him if his feelings have changed or say that things feel different or something like that. he makes a big ordeal about it every time like 'oh boy here we go again', when all i'm looking for is honesty and/or reassurance. is it an aries thing to hate dealing with feelings, or other people's feelings?

This right here might be what pushes him away, speaking only from my own experience with a capricorn. I hate being nagged and i hate whiney insecure people. Don't misunderstand I do find some points of earth and specifically Capricorn very attractive. I like the realistic ambition, depth of sentiment and quiet romantic gestures. On the other hand the negative aspects outweigh the positive and that would be the nagging, never lets an issue go and stubbornness. If one wants to make anything work with an aries one has to be able to truly forgive and forget and never criticize. Stop analyzing and agonizing every little detail of what he did and didn't do. Aries are happy cheerful people who need that from their partners.

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it's not so much that i nag him or whine, i just ask him what's up periodically or he'll do something shady and i'll call him out on it. i am generally a very outgoing and happy person, though i do have occasional very dark moods or just get in a funk but i snap out of it after a few hours or a day. if i understand something, i can let it go easily. but if i don't, i want to get to the bottom of it. i am quite stubborn sometimes, as is he, but i can be swayed. every aries i know is very charasmatic and outgoing and might put on the front that they're happy, but they are broody and dark deep down.

haha, well i have limited experience with aries, just the ones i know are like that. like my guy, i know he has been hurt in relationships before by things he says in passing that i pick up on, but he won't talk about it. being a musician, he does have to be outgoing to network and connect with fans and whatnot and he is very charming. i'm pretty good at reading people and i can just tell there's more beneath the surface.....which is partially why i'm drawn to him i guess.

my best friend is an aries and he is always looking for love and is very emotionally driven. when going out, he can talk to anyone and be really cool and down to earth, but he has very dark parts of him too, though you probably wouldnt know unless you knew him well. he is very jealous, controlling, insecure, and kind of emo in relationships. he often goes for the crazy girls or the girls he can't have and it has made him bitter. he goes into angry rants about girls and love at the drop of the hat and is stubborn and won't listen to friends when we try to tell him that the girl is bad news.

"i told him things felt weird and he totally went off."

Diverting is never a good sign. If that's what you meant..

i saw him a few days ago. we had some alone time when i first got there, it was cool. i'm usually really quiet and shy, especially around dudes i like, but i wasnt too bad around him. we hung out back stage at the venue he was playing with some other bands, and i was gonna wait and see if he introduced me to people and if he was PDA-y because i didnt want to be clingy or anything because i was essentially at his place of work. he started the pda with putting his hand on my leg, so i thought it was ok to be affectionate sometimes. he did introduce me to a bunch of people and he was sweet sometimes. after the show, we went out to eat with some people. when the check came, he started passing it to me but i ignored it (i just drove 4 hours to see him and paid for the hotel room, along with other shit. he can buy me some friggin french toast) then he stopped and thought for a second and paid for my meal. he had to after that. the next day, he was like "you're really into pda" and i was like "uhhh i wasnt planning on doing anything like that because i was at your job, but you started it which made me feel like it was ok. i'm an affectionate person, what can i say. if it was an issue, you could have said something" and then he said that it was ok and i wasnt that annoying (aries have soooooooo much tact) later on, i thanked him for the good time and that i appreciate all that he's done for me because he has kind of helped me a lot in regards to how i view things/relationships. he replies that i'm such a sweet girl and he was glad i had fun. i told him i was just being honest and no one really challenges me like he does and that he makes me feel content in the now without always having to sort things out or control them and that he makes me smile and i'm content with just that. then he says "i only hope that you dont ever feel worthless or hated because of me" and i ask why and he goes 'just sayin' and wouldnt elaborate. i told him if i feel bad over him, its usually because i made myself feel that way and that my issue with him has always been he says things and i never know if he means them or not, but that i feel like i know him better and i'll trust thta he means what he says until he tells me otherwise and he says "i mean it. i really like you and you make me feel so special".

the other day i was talking to him about henry rollins and why i like his work and how people's dark parts fascinate me and he talks about how much hate

and rage he carries inside, but again, won't elaborate. so now it's been 4 days since i've seen him and he hasn't talked that much, and hasn't texted me at all today. i know aries like their independence and need space, so i am trying to not read into it. it's just a weird situation for me because he is the complete opposite of me in a lot of ways and i feel like i know him better and i can almost trust what he says, but then i think if you like someone, you'd go out of your way to show it or make time for them.

Posted by nomorepajamas
but then i think if you like someone, you'd go out of your way to show it or make time for them.

This is exactly right, and if he continues to not communicate with you then it means he's not making you a priority

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by nomorepajamas
but then i think if you like someone, you'd go out of your way to show it or make time for them.

This is exactly right, and if he continues to not communicate with you then it means he's not making you a priority

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he texted me today and asked how my day was. i do think he likes me, at least somewhat, because this time around he texts me first and asks how i am and has brought up being in a potential future relationship and he's never really done any of that before. i think the issue is that i'm too nice and not much of a chase, so i'm not too much fun for an aries. i don't like playing hard to get....i want to be got =]

^^^^^^then that's what ya need to tell him.

Posted by Love366
^^^^^^then that's what ya need to tell him.

he knows i care about him and that i'm good to him.

Posted by nomorepajamas

Posted by Love366
^^^^^^then that's what ya need to tell him.

he knows i care about him and that i'm good to him.

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I hope he is good to you too, because if not then ya better learn some of that Aries selfish "me first" like some of the people talk about on the Aries boards, lol.

Hmm. I'm madly in love with an Aries and I'm a Libra. We are hot like fire then we are light as a feather the next. I understand EXACTLY how you feel when you say you are unsure of where you stand sometimes, I have this same issue sometimes with my Aries. However when I do have those feelings I'm careful of how I bring it up so as not to come off insecure to him, which is a huge turnoff to Aries. They like strong, independent, SMART and sexy girly girls. However they know what they are doing and they know what they are supposed to do too, the problem or question is do they —want?? to or do they —care enough?? to do it. If they aren't doing it, chances are they don't have the time or something else is much more important to them at the moment, and that doesn't necessarily mean a person, it can be something they are trying to accomplish or do.

When I ask my Aries how he's feeling about me, I start off by telling him how I feel about him and us and the progress we've made. I first let him know what I appreciate about him and how I understand him. THEN I let him have it. I start telling him, —however?? you sometimes make me feel like this??_or I'm not sure what to do or what to think when you do that??_ When we have these talks, he seems genuine about wanting me to understand him so he's very understanding and careful with my feelings when we have these convos. We have them every once blue moon. However the last time we had it, was when we were alone. And he tried to say, —We already talked about this, why do you want to continue talking about it?? And I told his azz —Because it's not like I see you every day, heck I can go a week or a couple days without hearing from you and I don't trip, but when we are alone, YES I need to know where I stand so far, I'm human with human feelings and its my job to make sure they don't get crushed.?? He shut his trap. Lol. Be strong and be fearless with your Aries. Don't be afraid of losing him. When a man really loves you are care about you, you may make him walk off, but he will be back they never go far its up to you

Oh and another thing, the reason things are always on his terms is because you are always available to him. If you start making your schedule just as busy and learn the art of telling him —no?? sometimes, he will fight harder and may even chase. Aries like to chase, especially if they feel you are worth it. And you are??_aren't you??

Posted by glassblowing
Another way of looking at it....I know we get this "chase" rep but there is a 20 year old aries guy here on our forum in a marriage....
Your guy has been hurt and I think the men of our sign carry their hurt longer and may sulk in it longer than us women......yet the men won't admit to this. Lol
Your guy is gunshy and didn't go "all in" like he may have previously done....preferring distance and to maintain his independence/freedom to a high degree. Caps don't like to be alone and aries like being alone, too.... but I would definitely express that you want this taken up a notch and want to be claimed/gotten

i think he definitely has a lot of hurt and anger in him, though i dont know from what. he's never really talked to me about his relationships, but i think the last one or two really hurt him and i know he quit drinking for one of his girlfriends and still doesnt drink, so that kind of tells me he is capable of taking other peoples feelings into consideration. he is only mushy sometimes, and its only a sentence or two via text. he is sweet in person; opens doors, compliments me, is generous, affectionate, but we only get to see each other like once a year so i dont know what it'd be life if i went to visit. i tend to expand on my feelings, whereas he is very vague. i try to treat people how i want to be treated, so i think sometimes i say too much because i think people deserve to know how you feel about them and how special they are. it's not so much that i want a realtionship from him. he lives on the other side of the country, theres not really much point. i think i just want him to think of me in a serious way or that i'd be a contender for a relationship. and also probably because he's a bad boy/i can't have him. if we lived closer, maybe i could see us being together and i've thought about it before, but i try not to get caught up in that. he's brought up a relationship with me in passing twice now, and before if he ever talked about us being together, it was how we can't be together. i guess part of me wants him to mean it.

Posted by champranger

Posted by glassblowing
Another way of looking at it....I know we get this "chase" rep but there is a 20 year old aries guy here on our forum in a marriage....
Your guy has been hurt and I think the men of our sign carry their hurt longer and may sulk in it longer than us women......yet the men won't admit to this. Lol
Your guy is gunshy and didn't go "all in" like he may have previously done....preferring distance and to maintain his independence/freedom to a high degree. Caps don't like to be alone and aries like being alone, too.... but I would definitely express that you want this taken up a notch and want to be claimed/gotten

Actually Caps love to be alone to sort out things out in their lives and their mind ... they completely disappear from time to time.

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i don't really like to be alone, but sometimes i like it. i do always have a lot going on in my head that needs to be sorted out and compartmentalized. if i disappear, it's usually directed towards a particular person who has done something to hurt me or make me think less of them. then it's like they don't exist to me at all. i'm just shut off.