ArieHun
@ArieHun
13 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 45 · Topics: 3
Does Aries prefer challenges in love?
generally "playing hard to get" means pretending not to be interested in order to make the other person work harder for you. in that case, i don't like it because it's not sincere. you're just basically playing games and making the other person do most of the dirty work while you sit back and protect your ego and pride. if you really liked someone, you would risk getting your ego hurt to be with them. that's the way i am and i expect the same honest approach from others.
i don't want things to just fall into my lap cuz i wanna work for them but i still admire those people who are confident enough to send me obvious signals (not inappropriate signals).
don't beat around the bush or hide your feelings. i don't hide mine so why should you hide yours? lol
i don't want things to just fall into my lap cuz i wanna work for them but i still admire those people who are confident enough to send me obvious signals (not inappropriate signals).
don't beat around the bush or hide your feelings. i don't hide mine so why should you hide yours? lol
so yeah it all depends on the sincerity of the "challenge" they're presenting me with.
I'm guitly of this
I get rather annoyed at the "Challenge" and the "Chase." If I have feelings for someone, I want to explore those feelings, not play tag.
Of course, I am of the opinion that a real relationship is a full time "Challenge" anyway, so that part is covered. As for chasing, lots and lots of "chasing" can be done within a wonderful relationship.
Of course, I am of the opinion that a real relationship is a full time "Challenge" anyway, so that part is covered. As for chasing, lots and lots of "chasing" can be done within a wonderful relationship.
No, I'm afarid I do not enjoy the chase or the challenge.
When it comes to matters of the heart (love) I tend to like a certain amount of security and predictability. I don't like not knowing where I stand with someone. If a man is easy to get, I don't automatically equate that with fickleness. It could just mean that he is straightforward and does not like to complicate things. But of course it depends on HOW the man is approaching you. He should be classy and respectable yet easy to understand.
I don't mind men who are overly enthusiastic as long as they are not being sleazy or obnoxious.
Also as Jesse says, if someone is not willing to risk their ego to be with me, then I lose interest. I threw away my ego and pride to be with my current boyfriend even though I was scared to death. Love is sometimes about taking chances. I also know when a man is not interested in me. In which case, I stop pursuing altogether. As a general rule, I don't go where I'm not wanted.
When it comes to matters of the heart (love) I tend to like a certain amount of security and predictability. I don't like not knowing where I stand with someone. If a man is easy to get, I don't automatically equate that with fickleness. It could just mean that he is straightforward and does not like to complicate things. But of course it depends on HOW the man is approaching you. He should be classy and respectable yet easy to understand.
I don't mind men who are overly enthusiastic as long as they are not being sleazy or obnoxious.
Also as Jesse says, if someone is not willing to risk their ego to be with me, then I lose interest. I threw away my ego and pride to be with my current boyfriend even though I was scared to death. Love is sometimes about taking chances. I also know when a man is not interested in me. In which case, I stop pursuing altogether. As a general rule, I don't go where I'm not wanted.
Posted by Jesse91
generally "playing hard to get" means pretending not to be interested in order to make the other person work harder for you. in that case, i don't like it because it's not sincere.
Sincerity for me is something we can't tell with our eyes, but we can feel it after being with someone for a quite long time. Some said that i was kind of playing hard to get. But, actually i'm not. Does it mean playing hard to get when i am not ready to give the same response as someone tells me? It's not because of hating him, but it's because i think to say about liking or loving someone should come with 'responsible'. I don't want to be responsible for what i'm not ready for. In order to reach the love level, you must show something (and i not mean presents) which tells that you love me. When word like or love is simply said without any action, then it's just a word. I think no one wants to be trapped in a long term relationship with someone whom we don't know what is he/she going to do in order to proof his/her love (which always takes time).
I don't know, but that's how i think when there is a man kind of plays hard to get... So, i will chase (i want to show what i feels through action). Usually i never showed that i'm desperately in love with him which sounds needy.
Posted by dofacc
I get rather annoyed at the "Challenge" and the "Chase." If I have feelings for someone, I want to explore those feelings, not play tag.
My bad since i don't find any words exactly fix what am i trying to say. I agree with exploring those feelings... At same times, for me chase is kind of not playing tag, but i mean it refers to the one who makes the first move (which is louder)..
yeah i definitely agree that actions speak louder than words. in your case, if you're not ready to fully receive someone's affections just yet due to whatever reasons, all you have to do is just say no i'm not ready for this and they'll understand. but being vague about what you want and sending vague signals to sorta deflect the situation is kinda dishonest. if you're not interested in someone, you should just be upfront about it instead of being vague (i'm not saying that you're doing these things but i know a lot of people who do this and that's what i usually associate with the phrase "playing hard to get" ; being vague and stringing people along) lol
Posted by Brittannie
Also as Jesse says, if someone is not willing to risk their ego to be with me, then I lose interest. I threw away my ego and pride to be with my current boyfriend even though I was scared to death. Love is sometimes about taking chances. I also know when a man is not interested in me. In which case, I stop pursuing altogether. As a general rule, I don't go where I'm not wanted.
Everyone is agreeing each others' point, but not mine... Well maybe i'm being influenced by someone experiences about this before. 🙂So, it's not aries thing..
But,there is another thing... isn't love a passion to aries? i will not 'chase' for someone who is not willing to risk their ego to be with me too. I mean, when you see there is a possibility of both of you being together (where he/she doesn't say about it yet), wouldn't you fight for it?
From experience, i always said no to someone who asked to be his girlfriend when i didn't have 'enough feelings' to be his. That's why i need all those actions to show or to be someone else...
This forum never lets me down. Everytime I come on this forum I think I learn more and more about my aries and how he MIGHT be thinking. I know signs only go so far, and different backgrounds and upbringing come into play as well. But im almost certain he thinks just like this to some degree.lol. However I think he does like the hard-to-get thing. But he doesn't like it to be obvious or done on purpose. When we first started talking I just simply wasn't "that" into it. I had so much going on. I didn't have a job so I was focused on finding work. I wanted a new car, and I knew I had to get registered for school. So I he knew I liked him, but my time was very limited. He never knew when or how long he was going to see me. I think he liked that. Now that I've moved so close to him, not on purpose (family issues) I think he feels he can see me whenever and honestly I feel he's subconsciously taking advantage. I say that because there was a time when he would freak out if he didn't see me for 2 days in a row, or didn't hear from me, now I feel he knows all he has to do is go over where I stay and he'd see me.. But that's okay. I know everyone thinks I should throw myself across the brim for my aries , and I honestly feel I have. I've taken his feelings towards the relationship and not being ready into full consideration, I've even learned to control my emotions for him and myself. Something most libra's have trouble with. I even told him I loved him, and didn't pressure him to say it back. Something has got to give. I know I'm taking a risk by backing off, he may just move on, but at least I'd know where I stand with him. He wants me to give it all, then he needs to show me something whether he's ready for a relationship or not. Now tell me Im wrong? Go head, be honest.
I think that part of what I am seeing when I compare ArieHun's thoughts with ALibra is the level that the relationship is at. So, it would be my opinion that we Aries types are either tap dancing on the edge, just sort of playing along, or we are all in. It seems to me that ArieHun is describing the tap dancing mode, while ALibra is describing the all in mode.
Really, two different Aries essentially.
Really, two different Aries essentially.
Posted by dofacc
I think that part of what I am seeing when I compare ArieHun's thoughts with ALibra is the level that the relationship is at. So, it would be my opinion that we Aries types are either tap dancing on the edge, just sort of playing along, or we are all in. It seems to me that ArieHun is describing the tap dancing mode, while ALibra is describing the all in mode.
Really, two different Aries essentially.
Im guilty of both
I am over the challenges I have had too many and I am finally ready for some stabilty. I actually hate chasing people, like why the hell should I chase any dude?
Posted by dofacc
I think that part of what I am seeing when I compare ArieHun's thoughts with ALibra is the level that the relationship is at. So, it would be my opinion that we Aries types are either tap dancing on the edge, just sort of playing along, or we are all in. It seems to me that ArieHun is describing the tap dancing mode, while ALibra is describing the all in mode.
Really, two different Aries essentially.
I think there is misunderstanding here because of incomplete story.. The approach that i mentioned above is referring me when i was into someone (who didn't know i was into him, and he didn't say about liking me too, but he showed of having interest about me which the situation still brought doubts to anyone). Then, i would choose him (to be close with and would do such actions to show that i was interested about him too) rather than other men who at the same times just get easily saying about liking me, especially when they were new to me. (The question is all about before me and that man didn't know we were both sort of liking each other. MAYBE.)
And,it's different when compared to ALibra situation. ALibra and her aries do really know how much they are into each other. And @ALibra, from your previous story (other that in this thread), i believe that the lucky aries man really wants you so hard and knows what is he doing for you...🙂 Trust me, aries is a loyal partner.
Back to the topic. I just want to know whether other aries would choose the same approach like mine when in such situation? I use to be enjoy in a "chaser" position.
But, things changed when i met this one guy... He approached to me so hard from the beginning. I felt awkward (because of being chased), but i know that i like him so much. Something bad happened... Then, i 'chased' him back (but a bit suffer for me because i used to approach other men i liked but not to him)... Now, i'm glad he is back...🙂 And with this guy, i never felt hesitation to tell and show how happy i am with him since he does the same things too...
Posted by bkbella86
I actually hate chasing people, like why the hell should I chase any dude?
I know that usually 'chasing' refers to a man role... 🙂 But,if in the situation i mentioned above, i still prefer to chase. It's actually because, a man who simply says about liking or loving me (when he is new to me) is sort of something smells fishy to me. You need to know me more before confessing about that.
Posted by ArieHunPosted by bkbella86
I actually hate chasing people, like why the hell should I chase any dude?
I know that usually 'chasing' refers to a man role... 🙂 But,if in the situation i mentioned above, i still prefer to chase. It's actually because, a man who simply says about liking or loving me (when he is new to me) is sort of something smells fishy to me. You need to know me more before confessing about that.click to expand
Oh believe me I understand, I am an Aries woman afterall. I have had my share of being the chaser but I am growing and learning, what I have discovered is that I don't want that anymore.
I don't want to be chased----> but being chased by the current guy for almost 8months. Nobody could continuously chase me for that long ... I love to be chased by him then..
Posted by bkbella86Posted by ArieHunPosted by bkbella86
....but I am growing and learning, what I have discovered is that I don't want that anymore.click to expand
🙂
@Ariehun, well I've never been one to chase much. I did once with a Cancer who acted in such a sideways manner (talking to my girlfriend about me and telling her to tell me instead of himself when we were both adults and not in school anymore) that I got turned off.
I actually love a guy who knows what he whats and if that's me, all the better! 😉 I never was suspicious about it except if I thought it was just physical and I wanted a real relationship. But still, I'd go out with him and see what would develop. To me, being so suspicious of a guy who is interested in you smacks of some kind of insecurity. Like, why don't you think you're desirable enough to have a guy hit on you? I get hit on a lot even though I'm married and I freaking LOVE it! LOL. OK, but really, the only thing I can think of is when I got hit on by someone I hadn't paid much attention to in the past so I didn't really know if I liked him or not. Yeah, I think we have to get that burning desire first to be really excited about going out with someone. But, not really knowing how you feel about him is ok, that's what dating is for, size him up a bit and just go out and see. Just because you didn't notice him before doesn't mean you couldn't hit it off.
On a side note, I wonder if being an Aries and always having to be first in things means we need to feel attraction first to get really hot about someone. Looking back with exes, I felt that before they came to me but the ones who came to me without that feeling just left me limp. A little later in life, things got a bit more subtle in the love game. My husband said it was love at first site with him but I just kind of liked him in the beginning. Luckily, I gave him a chance and he's the best thing that ever happened to me.
I actually love a guy who knows what he whats and if that's me, all the better! 😉 I never was suspicious about it except if I thought it was just physical and I wanted a real relationship. But still, I'd go out with him and see what would develop. To me, being so suspicious of a guy who is interested in you smacks of some kind of insecurity. Like, why don't you think you're desirable enough to have a guy hit on you? I get hit on a lot even though I'm married and I freaking LOVE it! LOL. OK, but really, the only thing I can think of is when I got hit on by someone I hadn't paid much attention to in the past so I didn't really know if I liked him or not. Yeah, I think we have to get that burning desire first to be really excited about going out with someone. But, not really knowing how you feel about him is ok, that's what dating is for, size him up a bit and just go out and see. Just because you didn't notice him before doesn't mean you couldn't hit it off.
On a side note, I wonder if being an Aries and always having to be first in things means we need to feel attraction first to get really hot about someone. Looking back with exes, I felt that before they came to me but the ones who came to me without that feeling just left me limp. A little later in life, things got a bit more subtle in the love game. My husband said it was love at first site with him but I just kind of liked him in the beginning. Luckily, I gave him a chance and he's the best thing that ever happened to me.
I will admit that I like a challenge. I don't respect anything that comes easily.... But I want it now, so that causes a lot of dysfunction on my end..lol The men who chased me I didn't want them, but I always wanted a man that challenged me! Ex husband (Taurus) was on me hard I was trying to dump him but when I found out that he had a long time girlfriend and I was the side chick I made it my priority to win him (I would say worst mistake ever but we created three beautiful and very smart children) And now my beloved Cappy with Aquarius Moon..lol He is something special he has me all over the place with love and hate emotions! So I know his game and I am playing it well; therefore it's exciting to us!
Posted by aries415
I will admit that I like a challenge. I don't respect anything that comes easily.... But I want it now, so that causes a lot of dysfunction on my end..lol The men who chased me I didn't want them, but I always wanted a man that challenged me! Ex husband (Taurus) was on me hard I was trying to dump him but when I found out that he had a long time girlfriend and I was the side chick I made it my priority to win him (I would say worst mistake ever but we created three beautiful and very smart children) And now my beloved Cappy with Aquarius Moon..lol He is something special he has me all over the place with love and hate emotions! So I know his game and I am playing it well; therefore it's exciting to us!
Uh oh I'm talking to a Taurus now, and he is on me hard! I like it though he is very sweet and seems sO sincere, only time will tell. Were actually about to hang out in like two hours, what can I expect with a taurus? What happened with you and yours if you don't mind sharing.
Posted by aries415Posted by bkbella86Posted by aries415
I will admit that I like a challenge. I don't respect anything that comes easily.... But I want it now, so that causes a lot of dysfunction on my end..lol The men who chased me I didn't want them, but I always wanted a man that challenged me! Ex husband (Taurus) was on me hard I was trying to dump him but when I found out that he had a long time girlfriend and I was the side chick I made it my priority to win him (I would say worst mistake ever but we created three beautiful and very smart children) And now my beloved Cappy with Aquarius Moon..lol He is something special he has me all over the place with love and hate emotions! So I know his game and I am playing it well; therefore it's exciting to us!
Uh oh I'm talking to a Taurus now, and he is on me hard! I like it though he is very sweet and seems sO sincere, only time will tell. Were actually about to hang out in like two hours, what can I expect with a taurus? What happened with you and yours if you don't mind sharing.
Divorce!..lol my Taurus was what you all call Aries/Taurus cusps so he was crazy like Hitler I guess..lol He was very giving and gave both my kids and I what we wanted but he was extremely possessive and jealous which led to him being verbally abusive to me, and I started to recent him and did not want to sleep with him so he cheated. Taurus men are attracted to Aries women and I get along with both male and female. I wouldn't date another April Taurus but perhaps a May Taurus. One thing I know if they love you they don't let go for a very long time. I think Taurus are pretty cool but pay attention if he is too possessive and jealous that means he is going to act crazy on you.click to expand
He is already pretty possessive , we speak all day everyday. He is a may Taurus though, I'm a little weary o his possessiveness. We have only been talking for a month and he wants to be my man.. I told him no
Posted by Jesse91
yeah i definitely agree that actions speak louder than words. in your case, if you're not ready to fully receive someone's affections just yet due to whatever reasons, all you have to do is just say no i'm not ready for this and they'll understand. but being vague about what you want and sending vague signals to sorta deflect the situation is kinda dishonest. if you're not interested in someone, you should just be upfront about it instead of being vague (i'm not saying that you're doing these things but i know a lot of people who do this and that's what i usually associate with the phrase "playing hard to get" ; being vague and stringing people along) lol
I really get what did you mean..
Posted by Mistery
@Ariehun, well I've never been one to chase much. I did once with a Cancer who acted in such a sideways manner (talking to my girlfriend about me and telling her to tell me instead of himself when we were both adults and not in school anymore) that I got turned off.
I had an experience with one Cancer too. Been friends almost 8years. He just got newly married about a month, but then always contacted and kind of flirted with me.. There was no lacking in his wife, but i thought he was just too greedy.. I stopped being friend of him even though he was actually a good friend. But, I don't want to ruin other womans marriage then.
Posted by Mistery
I actually love a guy who knows what he whats and if that's me, all the better! 😉
Now, i'm afraid i sort of have that feelings too...
Posted by Mistery
To me, being so suspicious of a guy who is interested in you smacks of some kind of insecurity. Like, why don't you think you're desirable enough to have a guy hit on you?click to expand
You maybe true at this... I don't know.. When a guy interested in me but i didn't, so kind of wasting time for me trying what i was not into. Because i think lots of men out there where you have possibilities to be attracted to each other at the same time.
Posted by Mistery
On a side note, I wonder if being an Aries and always having to be first in things means we need to feel attraction first to get really hot about someone. Looking back with exes, I felt that before they came to me but the ones who came to me without that feeling just left me limp. A little later in life, things got a bit more subtle in the love game. My husband said it was love at first site with him but I just kind of liked him in the beginning. Luckily, I gave him a chance and he's the best thing that ever happened to me.
I'm happy for you mistery! 🙂
Posted by aries415
I will admit that I like a challenge. I don't respect anything that comes easily.... But I want it now, so that causes a lot of dysfunction on my end..lol The men who chased me I didn't want them, but I always wanted a man that challenged me! Ex husband (Taurus) was on me hard I was trying to dump him but when I found out that he had a long time girlfriend and I was the side chick I made it my priority to win him (I would say worst mistake ever but we created three beautiful and very smart children) And now my beloved Cappy with Aquarius Moon..lol He is something special he has me all over the place with love and hate emotions! So I know his game and I am playing it well; therefore it's exciting to us!
Finally, i know that i'm not alone about this..😄
Posted by bkbella86
He is already pretty possessive , we speak all day everyday. He is a may Taurus though, I'm a little weary o his possessiveness. We have only been talking for a month and he wants to be my man.. I told him no
I had same situation like yours with my leo ex boyfriend 6years ago. But, I agreed to be his girlfriend. Then i just realized he was actually a 'King Control' freak.. That's the main reason why i'm afraid of being closed with a man who want to declare a relationship even though we still new. Well, i know not necessarily all men are same.. But, i learned a lot from almost 5years relationship with leo..
Posted by ArieHunPosted by bkbella86
He is already pretty possessive , we speak all day everyday. He is a may Taurus though, I'm a little weary o his possessiveness. We have only been talking for a month and he wants to be my man.. I told him no
I had same situation like yours with my leo ex boyfriend 6years ago. But, I agreed to be his girlfriend. Then i just realized he was actually a 'King Control' freak.. That's the main reason why i'm afraid of being closed with a man who want to declare a relationship even though we still new. Well, i know not necessarily all men are same.. But, i learned a lot from almost 5years relationship with leo..click to expand
How was that with the Leo? Must have been at least pretty good to last that long?
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