Need help with Leo male, very heart broken Aries female

Hello there Ask a Leo. I am in quite some need for advice dealing with my Leo male.

I will condense this as much as possible. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. I'm pretty hurt right now, so please don't be harsh.

When we started dating, for the first 4 months of our relationship it was long distance. We are ten years different in age (he is younger). I was his first "real" gf. I was the first girl he had ever brought home to meet the parents. When I first met his family- it was amazing. I felt a part of a family for the first time in my life. But, when I came back (I was overseas and moved to where he was for him), it was a different story. (I'll get back to this).

The first few months of me being in his native country was a very difficult transition for me. I fell into a depression and fought with him a lot. I was not myself- and I couldn't control my temper I think because of the lack of control being in a new environment.

We have always talked about marriage and kids. We had a life plan together. I wouldn't move across the world for something small.

We went to stay with his family for the holidays- in their home. This was very difficult for me as they are old school traditional and religious. We obv couldn't sleep in the same room- but it was more than that. We couldn't sit on the couch together, we got ZERO alone time and his mom controlled everything he did, ate, and wore. I feel it was damaging to our relationship bc we were no longer connecting and he seemed to revert back into a kid and his families religious beliefs, although he had projected to me to not follow their beliefs.

Another contributing factor to this is that his family, who were once so warm and inviting, became to outcast me. They refused to speak English to me for the entire two months I was in their home. We had to sit down to family dinner every single night, and I would try to be a part of the convo- but they would not speak English. So I didn't know what was going on around me, I felt excluded and became depressed again. He and I fought every other day bc I was upset/sad that his family wouldn't even speak a word of English to me, and he wouldn't talk to them about it. Not even once. (and just FYI they speak English VERY well).

I tried my hardest to be accepted and made many attempts to have conversations but after so many failed attempts, I gave up and just stayed in my head.

One day his mom came and woke me up, and asked me to go for a ride with her. On this ride, in PERFECT English she begins to tell me I'm not a part of the plan she has for her son. That she doesn't want him to be with me, that she liked me as a person but "I needed the Lord in my heart", and that his dad dated someone before her and it didn't work because he was meant to meet a proper woman like herself. As you can understand this was very hurtful and offensive to me, but I remained respectful and just sat there and took it.

When we got back to the family house, I spoke to him about it. I didn't tell him everything she said, bc I knew the kinda influence she has on him. We spoke for awhile- about how he needed me to be less combative and I needed him to communicate with me etc, but we ended the conversation with us talking about our plans for the future/marriage/building a life together. It was good. I woke up the next day and he was gone on a ride with his mom...he came back and then asked me to go for a ride with him...haha at this point I thought I was on a hidden camera show. I couldn't believe how they were treating someone.

He and I go for a ride, and he begins to break up with me. Tells me "his tank is empty, he has nothing left to give, the relationship isn't working, and he needs to call it". Says he doesn't feel the same way for me anymore. I'm obv blindsided considering the conversation we had the night before and the fact that everything was fine between us (or at least I thought). I am crying and begging for him not to do this, considering I moved across the world for him, etc etc. Look I am quite embarrassed about doing this- begging for a man is not in my nature. I am an Aries and independent. I was just heart broken and very very confused.

After awhile he agrees to stay with me and try to work on things. We go back to the house and it's very uncomfortable for me as the entire family (including extended family, like 9 people) knew what had just transpired. No one spoke to me. I had no private room to cope, I hid in the bathroom and cried, pretending to take a shower. It was awful.

We drove back to our city a few days later. When we got back he acted like everything was normal, he went back to normal, he was affectionate again, our sex life came back etc.

After a few weeks things are still going great but I have a weird gut feeling. So I get drunk on tequila, and went through his phone. Yes I know I shouldn't have and I am not proud of it. Please do not judge- I just wanted the truth and I was messed up. So of course I find butter. I wake him up and confront him, he tries to lie, I make it known that I know the truth and all the butter he was hiding, he got cold/mean/and angry like I've never seen before. He said a lot of below the belt messed up things- completely brutal and he left.

He came to get his stuff from my house a few days later, and we talked for a bit. When I asked if his mom had anything to do with our breakup because it came out of nowhere, just the day after she speaks to me, and he says no and that it's treetrunked up that I think that. But it's kinda obv to me. He says that all the arguments that we ever got in ate at him. That he started our relationship so happy, but now he feels drained from my few bad months transition into his culture bc he was always trying to make me happy. He said he still loves me and cares about me, but does not want to be in a relationship anymore. He said it just went away for him, and he didn't know if he would be able to get it back.

He left and I didn't hear from him for a few days. I was supposed to leave this city on a Monday, and Sunday he texted asking if he could come say bye to me and get the rest of his stuff and said he wanted to see me before I left. My dog got very sick and I was not able to leave and had to cancel my flight. I told him this and he just kinda stopped responding and we never saw each other. A few days later he texts me and BLOWS UP on me because some of his mates saw me on Tinder and he sent a flicking off emoji. Said some messed up hurtful things. I responded and asked why it even mattered since he broke up with me, I wasn't doing anything wrong and am trying to move on/distract myself from the pain I am in. He responded "leave me alone". Ha, even though he is the one that texted me.

A few days later I tried to send some messages to see if we can be friends. You see I am very alone here and don't know anyone, and I truly miss him as my friend. He said maybe in a few months we could try a coffee but would prefer we not speak, said he could be here as a friend for me but nothing more and he was going to be distant from me because "I would want more than just friends" and then said he would come get the rest of his stuff.

It's been two weeks and I haven't heard from him.

I'm sorry this is so long. I just wanted to give a context/background. I am very heartbroken and confused. He was the most loving, gentle, sensitive, supportive guy- and he's a totally different person, it's crazy. Cold, distant, mean as treetrunk. He deleted all pics of me on his instagram and said he did it to try to move on. We have 2 mutual friends that says he hasn't said a word about it, and is pretending nothing happened and like I never existed. I was a very loyal gf. I took care of him, cooked every day for him, did his laundry, etc. But I guess during my hard transition into a new culture- I was too negative for him.

I moved to a new continent for him, and we had plans for marriage. For something like that, you would think someone could stand with their person during their hard times. He said he couldn't deal with it and that it made him feel weak. I texted and asked him if he was happier now without me, and he said "I'm trying to be yeah, but I'm hurting". He said he still loves me, and will always love me, and that he still cared about me and that he "gives more treetrunks than I would like to know".

When Leo's are hurt or go through a break up is this how they handle it? With distance and completely deletion?

Do Leo's ever come back or how long does it take for them to make communication again?

I almost read this...but i did read the last phrase lol

Let me tell you something...it's complety outside of astrology and independent from everything...anyone comes back if they realy like you.

Good Luck !

Posted by xoxflute
Sounds like his family convinced him that you two aren't fit for one another. 😐

Thank You Sakura !

Now that's team work ! 😄

Posted by xoxflute

Posted by IamTheRam

Posted by xoxflute
Sounds like his family convinced him that you two aren't fit for one another. 😐

Thank You Sakura !

Now that's team work ! 😄

By team work, you mean 90% me, 10% you? 😛 😛







Kidding. 😄

click to expand

I was kinda hoping on something among the lines of...95% , 5% ? Seems like a good deal hihi

I will let you and Bette Davis to figure this one out ^^

Posted by xoxflute

Posted by IamTheRam

Posted by xoxflute

Posted by IamTheRam

Posted by xoxflute
Sounds like his family convinced him that you two aren't fit for one another. 😐

Thank You Sakura !

Now that's team work ! 😄

By team work, you mean 90% me, 10% you? 😛 😛







Kidding. 😄

I was kinda hoping on something among the lines of...95% , 5% ? Seems like a good deal hihi

I will let you and Bette Davis to figure this one out ^^

Haha, my leo moon, that wants all the credit, says no dice mister. 😛

click to expand

You got a Leo Moon ?!...I wold never have guessed !

Sure...out of respect...we can settle for 94% - 6% then ^^

(btw i smoothly increased my work credit on it...Virgo moon...lolol ^^)

@ZellaMars,

I read it all and this is absolutely ridiculous! That you would tolerate soooo much humiliation, disrespect, and deceit. OMG woman! What is wrong with you? Geeeeez!

And you wanna know what? Should you have seconds? If you do, you will deserve it this time.

His family has made it clear they don’t approve of you. And he’s made it clear that he values his family over you.

Sucks that this happened to you. People can be disingenuous and hide their true selves.

Ugh, I feel for you girl. I went through something similar (although just moved to a different state) I married another Culture and everything was great until the father got involved and yeah, they were nasty as my husband and I lived at their place while we settled into our new environment. The father made it clear he wanted his son to himself and talked openly about starting a business together without me.

So, I guess my point is if you have this much heartache and uncertainty then let it go because it’s just not meant to be. I see that now, have closure and am so THANKFUL to not be in his life anymore. Look at this as a berometer for what you are willing to put up with next time. Please move forward and never look back at this guy again. You will be glad you did in a few years and realize you can find someone sooo much better with a supportive family 🤗

Posted by LadyNeptune
His family has made it clear they don’t approve of you. And he’s made it clear that he values his family over you.

Sucks that this happened to you. People can be disingenuous and hide their true selves.

This is so true! You now know the real him and how cruel he can be. You want to be with that?

Posted by LadyNeptune
His family has made it clear they don’t approve of you. And he’s made it clear that he values his family over you.

Sucks that this happened to you. People can be disingenuous and hide their true selves.

It's more than that as she alludes to but did not expound upon. This is a K.O.:



After a few weeks things are still going great but I have a weird gut feeling. So I get drunk on tequila, and went through his phone. Yes I know I shouldn't have and I am not proud of it. Please do not judge- I just wanted the truth and I was messed up. So of course I find butter. I wake him up and confront him, he tries to lie, I make it known that I know the truth and all the butter he was hiding, he got cold/mean/and angry like I've never seen before. He said a lot of below the belt messed up things- completely brutal and he left.

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by LadyNeptune
His family has made it clear they don’t approve of you. And he’s made it clear that he values his family over you.

Sucks that this happened to you. People can be disingenuous and hide their true selves.

It's more than that as she alludes to but did not expound upon. This is a K.O.:



After a few weeks things are still going great but I have a weird gut feeling. So I get drunk on tequila, and went through his phone. Yes I know I shouldn't have and I am not proud of it. Please do not judge- I just wanted the truth and I was messed up. So of course I find butter. I wake him up and confront him, he tries to lie, I make it known that I know the truth and all the butter he was hiding, he got cold/mean/and angry like I've never seen before. He said a lot of below the belt messed up things- completely brutal and he left.

click to expand

Yeah it’s all sorts of fucked up.

People forgive cheating all the time. And she seems ready to take him back. But she can forget marrying him. His family doesn’t approve and he’d sooner cut her out of his life than go against them.

It’s over.

Thanks to the people that gave some advice/support/actual responses.

First off- I have no allusions of marrying him still. Not the case whatsoever.

Esp after I saw the relationship between his mom and sister. I can't imagine how deep his mom would put her claws into a child we would have.

I mentioned the marriage stuff because I wanted to get the context across of how serious this relationship was. I wouldn't move across the world for something small.

Second off- I've never posted online or anything like this. I am extremely alone, confused and heartbroken. He just abandoned me here in Africa and I know no one, have no car, nothing. I guess I was just trying to reach out and see if anyone else has gone through something like this, or maybe just looking for a friend.

What I meant by the Leo coming back thing- I meant it more as a friend level. I miss him as my best friend, and I know he doesn't even deserve my friendship. I just can't wrap my mind around everything that has happened bc I was so blindsided and feel like I'm in the twilight zone. Just trying to make sense of it all.

I don't even understand why his family would be so so so welcoming and warm and amazing to me when I met them. And then when I come back BOOM they just switched. I love these people that parade around preaching about how great of Christians they are- when in reality they are the most judgmental, cold hearted, crappy people. Hypocrites.

I may not be a super traditional Christian like they claim to be- but I am a really good person and my moral compass is on point! I took care of him. I was good to him. I screwed my life up and I'm just in a lot of pain right now.

It’s ok, this is part of your journey and there is a plan for your life. You have learned valuable lessons and insights from this. Just take one day at a time and things will get better. There is a reason you are in Africa.