the thing is that hes spent 300 bucks on lingerie for me to wear to this party...without me knowing...he has already booked our hotel...its sort of like a vacation too but his friends are throwing a pool party at the hotel...all couples. I just didnt want to hurt his feelings because he is so good to me. Its like Im being pressured.
I can't honestly say that I've ever met a guy, nor anyone of my girlfriends bf's .. who just automatically ASSUMES that I'd do the "Freaky Thang" .. on the contrary, to express this side of them without prior insight as to how I might feel about it, would remain in the reserved part of his nature .. you know, you feel each other out to see how they feel about something (ESPECIALLY SEXUAL KINKS) so you're not left standing there looking and feeling like an ass.
"I just didnt want to hurt his feelings because he is so good to me. Its like Im being pressured."
I'm not entirely sure I understand what this means. If because you didn't want to hurt his feelings, so you didn't tell him how you truly feel about this topic, which would leave him to assume that you are ok with it .. then how exactly is he pressuring you into doing something you don't want to do .. since he was led to believe that you do want to participate because you were afraid of telling him the truth to spare his feelings?
Seriously .. perhaps an honest talk to him about where you really stand on this issue would be in order .. it would save you from being uncomfortable and he would probably appreciate the truth.
yes sweet thats what I was thinking...I can pretty much blend in whatever environment and still be myself. I think we all have a little freak in us but I am selfish when it comes to sex and it will have to be one on one... hopefully I wont drink too much and forget my morals...hee hee
"easy for your @ss to say freebird...but my friend has this freaky nature that i some like...but then sometimes i dont like it."
I simply replied to the question that you asked, "how do you tell your boyfriend you dont want to go to a swingers party?" ......you just tell him. Stand up for yourself and your beliefs.
yes, it easy for me to say how I feel in the moment. Helps to prevent communication problems that may arise later on.
Maybe at the moment is not easy for you because you are not sure of yourself?
I'm sure you will have a great time, heck sounds like a cool experience. Not for me though.
i didnt go to the party...i took your advice freebird...i felt very uncomfortable and just decided that it was not for me..he was kinda upset but he'll get over it
Actually, what you did was....YOU chose to HONOR yourself and your feelings. YES!
I may have nudged you but it was you who made the choice and good for you! Don't worry about him....he is allowed to feel any which way he wants, you are not in control or RESPONSIBLE for his feelings, only your own. Honestly, he will respect you more for being true to yourself and so will you 😉
thanks ladies..i feel really good about myself too...I really appreciate my dxpnet buddies. You know we really need some good honest communication for a change.