WHAT ARE YOUR DEAL BREAKERS AND DEAL MAKERS—

Hi there aries people. LOL. Just curious to know what are your deal breakers and deal makers?
Instant turn off'S/on's
Things that will make you think long term for a person, or make you be like Oh HELL NO! LOL
Things that will make you want to break up/or break it off?
Things that make you say I just have to have that person? Or at least get to know them?

^^^ What she said!
And:
Short and long term dealbreakers: lying, manipulating, patronizing, disrespecting! And judgemental people! Judgmental people are probably my pet hate!
Short and long term dealmaker: a big c@*k!!! Hahahahahha.... No seriously....

Long term: Understanding, open to life's possibilities, encouraging, supportive and strong and secure enough within himself to deal with what it means to be with me. I love my freedom, I hate boundaries. Don't try and change me into some quiet, timid, submissive girly girl who needs to ask you for your two cents worth every time I need to make a decision in my life or want to go to the toilet. I'm with you because I want to be with you not because I need to be with you. I'm quite capable of thinking for and looking after myself. I mostly want a companion... Someone to sit opposite me at the dinner table at night and banter with. Not some co-dependent emotional shitstorm where I fall into a stereotypical role where I'm cooking and cleaning for a male every night of my life.

Short term: I'm not looking for marriage and babies. I'm looking for light hearted fun with someone hot and cool. I'm all about the good vibes... As long as there are no expectation, obligations or labels... I'm down with it. What would probably lock it down a bit more is if the sex is great. I'm a sucker for great sex!

Oh... Another important must for long term is reliability!

Yay!!! Q and A 🙂

Well, I am the type of person who likes everyone (until you give me a reason not to) and I am attracted to people who are comfortable with who they are and accept themselves (flaws and all). A man that knows how to take care of himself (domestically speaking) and takes care of himself (physically/mentally/spiritually) Any man that can stimulate me mentally/intellectually FIRST will get a second look. And I don't care for drama kings/queens. Life is too darn short for that butter!

Buuuuuut if you want specifics.....

-learn how to be my friend first

-don't be afraid to be an individual

-learn how NOT to be so concerned with what OTHER people think of you or how you choose to live your life (for me, it's a turn off because it makes me think you don't value yourself or you are uncomfortable with who you are....then you come off as trying TOO hard and fake)

-think for yourself

-INDEPENDENT (but not SO much that you give off the "I don't want/need you vibe")

-be open minded and learn how to go with the flow

-be genuine (I can tell the difference between genuine and insincere)

-be open and honest/compassionate

-be spontanious/adventurous/creative

-be able to laugh at yourself (to me, that is one of the SEXIEST traits someone can have)

-like sex.....no...LOVE sex anytime, anyplace, anywhere....and you better be able to keep up 😉

-have a quiet confidence in yourself

-have a life/friends/hobbies outside of our relationship


Dealbreakers: pretty much the opposite of what is above

Know that I am with you because I WANT to be with you, not because I NEED to be with you.

Forgot that one...lol

Uh boy. You two have just answered my question about my aries situation im a libra, even if you are girls. If the girls think like this, im almost afraid of how the guys think. Im related to 4 aries, and they are all females. Im close with one in particular.. but then I guess I would be since she's my sister.lol. But we couldn't see relationships and men more different. She older though so she's a little more passionate then you two, but I know for a fact if a man couldn't satisfy her she'd ditch him and tell the world it was something else, but tell me an my mom he was awful in bed.lol. But If you read my other post, then you know my current situation with my aries guy. He told me upfront that he didn't want a relationship right now, that he wanted to go with the flow, but he really cares about me an told everyone in my fam that when he gets some things in order where he can be serious that it will definitely be whom he gets serious with. Our fams are close,and he and I have like each other since childhood. I made him wait before we crossed the line sexually, until I was sure I could handle what may or may not came behind it. Now that it's happened I don't regret it, but I surely don't want to carry on like that until he so calls "gets himself" together.

I figure for the sake of our friendship we better go back to just being cool. Considering we have this cool a** bond, I've never been able to completely be myself like I am with him. He always TRYS to understand.lol. But I basically told him last night in a text, that I couldn't do it. I told him admire his honesty, and I adore his ambition and drive to get himself on the right track but he cant have it both ways. He pops in and out, we don't go out because he works himself to death an owes a lot of money in places, and I hate to make him feel like im asking for too much so I told him someone will get hurt and that someone will be me, he says not but I feel I will. I mean after all someone always gets hurt when two people come together wanting different things right? The one that wants more ends up in tears right? I just hopes he will understand. Im only protecting my heart and our friendship. I don't want to start hating him in the long run. What do yall think? Thanks for all you guys help by the way.

@ALibra,

I can understand where you are coming from. (from an astrology POV, I have Libra in my 7th and several Libra friends) Relationships are important to me as well and over the years, I've learned that healthy relationships are the way to go! From what I've read, you were both up front with what the other wants and you BOTH recognize what could possibly happen if you were to enter a relationship right now. From my experiences with Libra females, some can come off as demanding, bossy, and will allow their insecurities to take over....so much to the point where they become obsessive (like going through a so-called friends phone 😉

I would say, just take it slow and enjoy what you two share now.....a friendship. Also, try not to read so much into the words on the screen...they are just words. The bigger picture becomes more clear when you see those traits/dealbreakers/makers in action and then everything will fall into place. 🙂

@Archeimedes.
I tried but you are right we libra's are full of emotion and they do tend to take over. So that's why I told him that I would much rather us go back to having just our cool bond, rather than us being sexual and trying to see where things end up because im not willing to put my feelings on the burner while he reeps all the benefits and I MIGHT end up with nothing but a couple of good nuts. (sorry to be so nasty, but that's the truth) I understand he doesn't want more, but in an effort to save what we DO share, I think its best if we stop this go with the flow thing. My feelings don't sit well with it. I need security something he's unwilling to provide right now. Im over what I saw in the phone. However it certainly opened my eyes. But I've never been too na??ve too where I thought he wasn't talking to other girls before I saw his phone. It sort of confirmed what I already knew ya know?

single
my buddy/gets my sense of humour
loves me for me
sexy/great in bed
loyal
appropriate job


* I wonder if this is too many - obviously if he wasn't sexy I wouldn't be dating him and if he wasn't single he shouldn't be dating me.

Haha... We've all basically said the same thing. Give and take a few other points.
Confidence and strength within themselves. Doesn't matter if you're quiet (in fact I prefer the quieter ones). Have an 'I CAN DO THIS CUZ I'M AWESOME AND I KNOW IT' attitude without being arrogant or needing to boast.
LOVE sex -- and not the kind where we're lying on our backs like a starfish all the time! (We're talking bout the kind where we're inventing new positions and testing people's sexual boundaries -- and often... Possibly several times a day!! The more the better and don't ever deny us sex as some form of punishment. You won't be happy with the outcome )
We want companions not crutches to lean on. We're not broken! We dont need you. We dont want to need you. It wont make us feel good about ourselves if we feel needy. We're very much in healthy working order. We want to experience everything life has to offer and it'd be cool if we had someone to share the awesome with and talk to about it afterwards. philosophically and sentimentally. I'll say it again: it would be cool, but we don't need it.
Be laid back, go with the flow, be open to life. Life is an adventure. We never know where we're gonna be next week let alone next month and we like it like that. We know everything is circumstantial, outside factors come into play that are not in our control and things can change so we generally won't commit to just anything that doesn't involve today and now (events or relationships). We're cardinal signs remember 😄

ALibra: As my Aries brother would tell me, "If he really wanted you, he'd claim you for his own". It wouldn't matter if he owed money or needed to lose 5lbs. or whatever. He would never let go what he really wanted. Live your life and forget him.

Instant turn off'S/on's: people who brag alot, fakers who pretend to be something they are not, someone with no sense of humour, anyone double faced, someone who likes to argue before listenting. I think we Aries are good at first impressions, we usually can see through someone right from the get go. Just keep in mind that you can be as nice as much as you wish to an Aries, but that doesn't necessarily mean we will reciprocate or that we will love you for it, if something seems off about you, then you can be as nice as you wish, but we would still sense that warning vibe around you and we will procceed with caution (I do that anyway).

Things that will make you think long term for a person, or make you be like Oh HELL NO! LOL

Thing that makes me think long term is when the other person makes me laugh, someone who is very smart yet humble, someone who isn't scared to say what they think and can stand up for themselves, someone loyal, genuine and fair, someone who have an organised life, knows what they want, ambitous, serious when need be but knows how to enjoy life to the fulliest. Things that will make me say HELL NO: Air signs, starting with Libra, most of their traits fit what I covered in the instant turn off's.

Things that will make you want to break up/or break it off?: when the other person keeps repeating the same offense over and over, despite me telling them that it is bothering me, I will be patient for a while but if they aren't listenting, they will come a time when *poof* and I am gone, they might wonder why I just left all of a sudden, but they don't realise that it was building up all this time because they didn't listen and fix it. (it would need to be a major issue though)

Things that make you say I just have to have that person? Or at least get to know them?
I usually let people do the get to know me bit, i am not interested in people who don't show interest in me. If they seemed bothered enough to know me then I will make the effort to know them (if they seems genuine and have interesting personality)

Deal breakers: Pretentiousness, fakeness, liars, Fronters, judgemental people, narrow mindedness, lack of compassion and selfishness, manipulation ( eve the attempt at it pisses me off), games.



I dislike people who try to out on airs, and I encounter that alot. I think I can come off like that and thays why I may attract those people at times. I don't put on airs though, I have a certain confidence and I think sometimes the friends I have when I intially meet thwm think that they need to impress me with certain stuff that I really don't give a shit about. like where you live work etc. I don't care if you work at Mcdonalds, that isn't a reflection of your character.

I am far more impressed with someone who has a strong mind and a big heart.

Things that impress or deal makers are: Kindness, patience, openess, someone who is curious about life, quiet strength, modesty, and high self- esteem. Also someone who doesnt take my kindness and openess for granted. I can be naive sometimes which can be good and bad, but if you don't take advantge of that, I really appreciate it.

And even though I can appear confident on the outside, sometimes I feel like shit on the inside but it important for me to look secure, if you can make me feel comfortable enough to put down that wall, that also a deal maker.

Posted by Mistery
ALibra: As my Aries brother would tell me, "If he really wanted you, he'd claim you for his own". It wouldn't matter if he owed money or needed to lose 5lbs. or whatever. He would never let go what he really wanted. Live your life and forget him.

Excellent work. I am going to get T shirts printed!


Raises the question: Should a girl let of of what she really wants?