Whatever happened to my best female Aries friend?

I still find myself pondering over this.

I had a best Aries female friend from the time I was 10 years old and in 4th grade, to my 21st birthday. Everything was fine, in 6th grade we both together became good friends with a Libra. We were the three muskateers! Libra lost her parents early middle school and would visit us every year.

Well on my 21st birthday I asked Aries to come by to my party and see me, said it was Libra's last night in town and she should stop by and visit. She said she was coming home from work and was taking a friend home and didn't want to be bothered with stopping by. I gave her MILD shit for it and she says, "I don't have to do anything missy!" And since that, NOTHING!!

I haven't seen her since, barely talked to her since. My mom and her mom are still friends and I get some updates from her...apparently she has been pretty depressed lately and even failed all of her classes one semester (the girl that could maintain at least a B average taking 20 hours and working full-time and doing theater stuff). I last "talked" to her a few months ago when my mom said she found out from her mom, she was in the hospital. I asked if she was okay she says, "yeah, just drugged up." and literally NOTHING since!

I have tried casually every year to see how she was doing, if she wanted to grab lunch/coffee, and nothing 😢

I'm just still at a loss on how a best friend of 13 years could just vanish with no explanation with practically no reason.


Aries people (especially women), advice?? And is there any hope in getting her back....I think we have spoken a sentence in 3 years.

Also, it wasn't just me...she totally blew off Libra too and hasn't even said a sentence to her! Libra is the sweetest person ever and lost both of her parents in a year's time span, the girl has been through so much and was nothing but a good friend. I can be a pain sometimes, but I can't think of anything I could have done to upset her.

I think what it is is that Aries people tend to want to grow up and get frustrated if they feel they are stuck in the same old thing for too long. They are just restless people. Maybe she identifies you with a childhood she wants to leave behind and is depressed that she isn't where she imagined herself being at this point of her life. I have gone through a similar experience with a good Aries friend of mine.

It's just sad because I thought she would never leave...we were so close, and I KEEP friends.

I have kept the close Libra ever since, it's been 13 years for us now too as well as my good female Leo friend who was my former room mate. She is like my soul mate. Then there is my 9 year Cancer friend. My room mate is a Taurus, we've been good/totally platonic friends for 3 years and he's like a brother/life coach to me.

It feels like it's been way longer, but I guess it really has only been since March...But I became REALLY good friends with 2 Pisces females, and an Aquarius/Gemini male(who also happen to be their husband/fiance! hah)

You said that she was in the hospital for drug related reasons right? It sounds like she has her own demons that she's fighting. On the other hand the Pisces girls should be pretty easy friends to keep lol.
By the way is that Aquarius guy both of the Pisces girls fianc??

Well actually she was in the hospital for her appendex, she never messed with drugs but dealt with severe depression. It was my first Aries ex who was into drugs and died.


Well idk...Lol one Pisces female is super sensitive and touchy, I am very close friends with her but feel I can't open up 100% and have to censor some things. The other, is an Aries rising with Leo moon. I can say anything around her but she sure holds no punches, she is blunt and can be rude. But I am 100% open with her.

And no; the sensitive Pisces is getting married to her Gemini man (my best male friend, me if I was a guy) of 8 years, and my bold Pisces female has been with her Aquarius man for 11 years and they are happily married. sensitive pisces and gemini man had some really rough spots, but they are doing just fine now!

The Aquarius man I do have a bond with, he comments on a lot of my stuff on facebook. But he is a very big introvert and not that into people. he socializes in his own way. The Gemini is also like this, hates people...usually only talks when pokes. But he and I can talk about crap all day. We have conversations about shit a lot, yes shit...lol

So you would say that Gemini's are generally better with fire signs than water signs?

lol It takes two Gemini's to talk about shit all day! 🙂

Well I was with my Leo ex for 4 years but it stopped when he stopped trying. First ex was an Aries, that would never happen again. Tried going on a few dates with one and was horrified by his behavior.

I generally like water signs more because my Venus and Mars are in Cancer.

A lot of air signs don't work with me for relationships.

What was it about the Aries guys behavior that turned you off? Girls on here are always talking about how they don't like them...

One of my traits that a lot of other air and fire signs don't like, is that I can be rather clingy and emotional and fall for people quickly. This isn't always a very airy sign...I like my space, but I really want to spend time with that person. AT LEAST 3x a week. If a guy says "I need space" I take great offense and back off 100% , I'm an all or nothing person. More often or not, these guys come crawling back, but I have already moved on.

This is where water/earth signs come in...they are able to cater to that desire in me because they feel it too.

My ex WAS a Leo, but his moon was Taurus and he had Virgo Venus.

My Scorpio bf has a Leo moon and a Capricorn Venus and Scorpio Mars which go well with my Libra moon, and Cancer venus/mars.

Well with the first Aries guy...he was a sweet guy, I lost my v-card to him. But I think he was too muddled with drugs to have any real personality. Our fights were mostly about drugs.


Oh so the Aries guy I dated recently....Well he was VERY pretentious. He proclaimed to be very religious and would always talk about God. I believe in God, but I don't like it shoved in my face by any means. He was a well known photographer, he did good and made usually around $ 3700 a shoot. He made good money. But he didn't know how to save it...he made good money, but blew it all and had nothing to show. He had stopped drinking right before me because he had lots of issues with it...also smoking.

He had a temper. He would just talk about weird/not cool things. He would say things about other girls (now sometimes I want to know and will ask, as a checklist of what not and what to do, and I do the same?) but this was different...He would say things like, "Thanks, you rock my face" to a waitress that dropped off a check. He seemed to be God's gift to women.

I would show him my video of my friends doing their music and he would automatically blast them, say he could do better and cut down on them. They are MY friends...not cool.

We fooled around a little, but no sex. THROUGH his pants he measured his dick up to my foot and goes, "that's a pretty big dick, wouldn't you say?" I go, "I have really small feet" He goes, "Well in girl sizes" I go, "No, they are REALLY small...I wear like a 5.5"

Then he would say things like "You are so smitten with me" and my Gemini guy friend found that really weird and not romantic at all, said he should be saying he is smitten with ME.

Then he was working on a project and would act highly bothered if I tried to reach out to him. I would text him, and a "I'm busy!!" would be the response...yet he is posting on Facebook every 2 seconds. After I told him I needed more attention he goes, "seriously? I really like you...but you are pushing me away" I told him he had already pushed me away and see ya. Said have a nice life and told him how pretentious I thought he was. A few days later he tried calling me and wanted to ask me questions, when I asked what they were he went, "Oh nothing". So replied "Hmph...weird, okay." and that was the last I've heard! Good riddance =)

So do romantic relationships have more to do with the moon and venus and mars than with the sun sign and ascendant?

Posted by RomancingA
I've only ignored old friends because I felt that I was at a different place in life, that I had moved on....childhood friend or not. There are plenty of childhood friends that I didn't keep....and I also keep my friends. Sometimes "some" childhood friends are just stuck in the past and leave no room to create a new future.
I like the idea and concept of NEW.....evolving, rolling, diving, strumming along and learning every single day. Often times with old old friendships I feel like if I'm around them too often that I'm being pulled back, being taken back to hang with them.

Mind you I am half Aries and Taurus and am generally very loyal. I still have the same friends from K grade. However there are quite a few that I've dropped because I just feel like I could grow with them. Some just...kind of remain the same....they don't get better or reach for goals. It's depressing to have to be stuck to people I don't want to be around.....

ALSO-----pretty sure you demanding she show up, was the reason she found you annoying.

Give her time....

Time? How MUCH time? This incident happened on my 21st birthday, I just had my 24th...in that time since, I have had 2 sentences with her and it all happened a few months ago. Nothing before, nothing since. All attempts to reach out to her, ignored.

I want to say honestly romantic relationships have way more to do with your Moon/Venus/Mars than your sun or rising. These are important aspects, yes, but I do not think they are the most important.

How else do you explain the Gem and Scorp couple of 30 years I know...The Gemini-Pisces of 8, and the Pisces-Aquarius of 11? hmm.

And yes, there ARE things that my scorp does that annoy me and I point it out. Could be his Leo moon too or Sag Mercury, but he can just blurt things out...honestly, I think this may be most guys too. But he can come across as sounding careless and highly egotistical etc. I point it out usually every time at how much it annoys me and he stops or thanks me for correcting him. We all have our flaws, he knows it bugs me and other people have pointed it out and he wants to work on it.


Just like I can come across as self absorbed and insensitive when really I am a VERY caring person, I just have a hard way of showing it at times. I want other people to point it out so I can work on it. With no bickering or working on things, there are problems.

My ex and I NEVER fought. I was pretty much the one getting overly emotional/losing it, and him just calming me down. But in the end when I brought REAL concerns to him, he totally blew them off and I don't stay in relationships where there is no passion and everything is gone.

I feel like some Aries really just have no idea how to act lol. They are not gentlemen. That must be something the fire energy develops when it goes into Leo. It sounds like that guy was probably trying to be funny though.

A funny that TOTALLY rubs me the wrong way. My scorps jokes that come off as egotistical sometimes rub me the wrong way, but not like that. Only enough for me to casually mention something and move on. He doesn't infuriate me etc.

I feel like I still have so much to learn about him and maybe I can't fully understand yet, but there is something that keeps me going and wanting to learn more. He is constantly on my mind, I know that much even if I do seem annoyed or uninterested with him or act it...I am always thinking about him.

My Leo ex, I thought I had him all figured out but I think there really was a lot more to him than I thought...Our biggest issues was me wanting him to show me more affection, be more verbal with his compliments, want to take me out, be more intimate, live a little!

This scorp does ALL of those things for me and thensome.

As a writer, a poet, and a musician; words and feelings are very important to me, being able to express them. Ex would say, "You know how I feel, so I shouldn't have to say it." Well I am a Gemini, a woman, and very drawn to the written/verbal word...I want to HEAR it! I don't need it every day, but I want to be adored. Not somethered, but shown affection/attention, that's what I like.

A lot of people that read some of my poetry can think it's rather dark, deep, and morbid but it has nothing to do with the author I feel...It's just how I express myself.

My issue is that I can be hyper sensitive and read too much into the words of others or get easily defensive. Then I storm off and silently brood, and come back all apologetic.

Do you think thats why you are attracted to the Scorpio though? The combination of the fact that you are hypersensitive and read a lot into things plus him being mysterious equals you can't stop thinking about him? This is assuming that he is a mysterious Scorp type.

Eh, well he is an Aquarius rising with a Leo moon and Sag Mercury. I don't like the mysterious/try to figure me out scorpios. He got into a mood like that once and I FREAKED out.

I like how easy going and light hearted he is, yet at the same time he can be so tender and sweet...romantic on a regular basis. He says all the right things and knows how to compliment me, make me feel special.

Ironically, the same traits I sometimes am annoyed by immensely, I kind of like in a way...they are growing on me lol.

He also reassures me and can put up with my craziness when my emotions get the best of me.

I have Synesthesia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia)which has made me extra sensitive to others. I have dejavu frequently, my senses are conjoined, I feel strong emotions without fully understanding them, crying etc. Strong premonitions/dreams. Avoid situations where I have a REALLY bad feeling and things turning out much better, also my dreams have been a gateway to many revelations and my book ideas.

I'm just sooo sensitive!

Must be your Mars and Venus in Cancer...

That's what I'm thinking! I think that's why I get along better with water romantic then.

Plus my Pluto and Midheaven is in Scorpio. If I was born just an hour earlier, I would have been a rising Pisces.

Posted by Agentgem24
and I get some updates from her...apparently she has been pretty depressed lately and even failed all of her classes one semester (the girl that could maintain at least a B average taking 20 hours and working full-time and doing theater stuff). I last "talked" to her a few months ago when my mom said she found out from her mom, she was in the hospital. I asked if she was okay she says, "yeah, just drugged up." and literally NOTHING since!
.

She probably feels you really care more about gossip than about her. Also, you pretend to be her friend while being extremely judgemental about her life. The hospital incident..did you even think to check up with her afterwards? Or doing something more than "casually trying each year"? You really didn't try at all.

Funny how you think the incident that night had nothing with it. After all you gave her MILD shit according to your opinion, how come she could get offended by that? Most geminis speak before thinking and then they expect you not to have any problem with their blabbing. Some people will see through that.

Actually, (before you judge, actually read what I write) I did contact her. I asked if she was okay, if there was anything I could do, and if I could stop by and visit her. She replied she was ok and nothing else.

The steady contact I have tried to make is asking her how she is, what she's been up to, saying I miss her, and would love to get lunch/dinner to talk. I have never texted her one text updating her about my life, it is all to reach out to her and find out how SHE is doing.

I try to contact her at least once every few months, few times a year. What else can I do? I haven't seen or had a conversation with the girl since I was 21...I can't exactly say we are still friends but I would love to get the chance. I still talk with her mom, which is the only way I ever find out anything about her.

You are also forgetting one very important detail....she also outcasted our mutual libra friend. The girl that lost both her parents and is the most kind, thoughtful person in the world and who said nothing to her to upset and she has blown her off 100% too despite her trying to contact.

"Mild crap" was appropriate for a best friend saying she wouldn't see you on your bday and stop by to say good bye to a mutuel friend you wouldn't see for another year. She was very blunt and had a tough skin, she gave me shit constantly.

Libra found an old pic and sighed, "whatever happened to that one?" Her mom and my mom have no idea....

She even said (my mom) "well you maybe....but I figured she would cool off knowing her, but what the hell did libra do?"

All I see is constant gossip about her and her motives. You don't know what went down with the libra chick..maybe they had a conflict you don't know about.

And even if she suddenly went cold on everyone, it's her right and her life. You call her your best friend but you judge her constantly. In regards to your birthday..I've had friends who couldn't come see me or spend time with me and I was ok with it. People have a life outside of my own so I really didn't see the need to give them grief over it. You overreacted with that.

It's not her duty to reply to anyone if she doesn't want to, clearly you cannot empathize with that. If she's having a turbulent time in her life, maybe she felt the need to shut anyone out. If you already tried approaching her and it didn't work, it would be better to stop than keep on the gossip with her mother and mutual friends.

No. Just stop trying to bother her. She knows you're out there. If she wants to, she will reach out.

I said she WAS my best friend. We don't talk so I don't consider us friends but I DO miss her. The point of this status is stating the situation and happenings (it's not gossip because I'm explaining what happened and I don't gossip about her. Only to recall previous memories and mention I miss her every now and then)

There really isn't much more I CAN do. The point of this status is to kinda just figure out WHY it happened.

I guess maybe we just grew apart but for it to happen so abruptly is just kind of strange to me and I was asking input to try and make sense of it.

It's funny how people use the word "gossip" so loosely....talking about someone to recall events (not bad mouthing) and asking how she is to get updates is NOT gossip. Writing here to tell the story and get input is NOT gossip. Jesus.


I agree with the part that she knows where I am...I think I've done my part. If she wants me, she has my number.

I tend to disappear off the radar from time to time ... no matter how good of a friend they've been to me... if I'm feeling sad, or moody, or depressed I just disappear and then I feel as though it's "too late" to come back when I am ready to return because I'm afraid that my friend won't accept me back in their life after vanishing without a trace.

I dislike confrontation... I just let things happen... without thinking of the consequences... I pay heavily for it.

Posted by Aine
I tend to disappear off the radar from time to time ... no matter how good of a friend they've been to me... if I'm feeling sad, or moody, or depressed I just disappear and then I feel as though it's "too late" to come back when I am ready to return because I'm afraid that my friend won't accept me back in their life after vanishing without a trace.

I dislike confrontation... I just let things happen... without thinking of the consequences... I pay heavily for it.

I really relate to this.