PureGem23
@PureGem23
9 Years
Comments: 4 · Posts: 71 · Topics: 13
Aquarius Man said we are losing spark
That sucks but you got to do what you have to now. It's time for as long as you guys been together for that time line to actually know what's going on. Or what you want out of it.. plenty of time to get to know if that's the one for you anyways.
What do i do tho? Is this a losing battle? I mean should i do something and fight for it or should i let it go?
I remember you have posted about a guy before. I think my advice was same. Well to keep embers alive for at least 5- 7- years is spice it up and talk. Have you asked him why he felt that way—?
Man two years is along time though. Maybe someone with emotions can help. Sorry but once a guy says something like friends or not interested because they may like someone else. I just got to go, distance from them altogether or I'll be like most here and try to see the good memories and hold on to it, only later I regret it because I was the one who should leave but some don't until they really had enough.
He just said things werent as exciting as before. But he said he didnt want to break up. So I dont know. I am tempted to do a disappearing act. I cannot handle it now.... Im sad and broken 😢(
Yup sure but when that adrenaline rush is gone for a day of skydiving does it go back to normal. Not really. .
Yes I argee on working it out but it's been 2 years already with great success and not so great times. So it's up to her and Stand for her self.. if it has been one sided in a relationship they don't need each other for that type of stress. More so on woman since he's talking that Bullshit is why maybe another woman or simply it has ran it's course. Never give up just now your limits and standards.
What it means is that he has his own interests and you have your interests, but where is the SHARED interests? Take stock into what you both love to do and prioritize those, and he has to do the same.
One thing that stuck out on this to me is, if you want kids and he says he doesn't - that's a big deal and a big difference and something you need to really think about. I have yet to meet a man that meant this, change his mind on this. Just something to think about.
I think you should definitely leave now. It's only been 2 years leave now! ! Before it's been 6 years you're depressed because you're ready for children and he STILL doesn't want them(that should be enough right there. Can you imagine accidently getting pregnant and being stuck with a child he doesnt want so you have to do it on your own)He still doesn't take you out, pay for dates or anything, still doesn't initiate intimacy, and then possibly you find out he has "sparks" for some other women. Don't waste anymore of your time. Please. He has told you he is no longer interested. And some men can't even do that. They'll string you along for years. I would leave so fast!! It may have been good but there is better out there.
Posted by PureGem23You've been seeing him for 2.5 years and he hasn't finalized his divorce. This is a huge red flag to me.
I've been dating an Aquaman for 2.5 years now.
he has not finished his divorce process yet
i felt that he doesnt initiate making love
Why does the man always have to initiate? Serve him dinner one work day wearing nothing but an apron and heels. Guarantee you won't make it to dessert...
Yeah because people manipulative towards people and sometimes it would be a rebound to the guy who is supposed to be getting a divorce. Sloppy seconds isn't my force and@OP should leave. I forgot this situation and it happens to good people. Move on sweetie.
How far is he in the divorce process? Is he still living with his wife? Is she aware of this divorce?
Is he having an affair or is this just a matter of settling things out in court?
I've seen divorces take years when one person can't be located or the property/child issues are contested so that part is understandable BUT if he hasn't even started the process yet and is just making empty promises than I suggest you run fast and run far.
-- the situation is a bit tougher than normal. We are both foreigners in a country where the rules are a bit different. He had been separated for 3 years before we met so Technically, i did not cause the separation. If he gets the divorce, the wife can take the kid and he will never see him again. Apparently, thats how it goes in this country. I met other people in similar situation so even if i pushed for it before, i was pretty aware that it might be difficult until his kid is in the legal age to choose his guardian.
Is he having an affair or is this just a matter of settling things out in court?
I've seen divorces take years when one person can't be located or the property/child issues are contested so that part is understandable BUT if he hasn't even started the process yet and is just making empty promises than I suggest you run fast and run far.
-- the situation is a bit tougher than normal. We are both foreigners in a country where the rules are a bit different. He had been separated for 3 years before we met so Technically, i did not cause the separation. If he gets the divorce, the wife can take the kid and he will never see him again. Apparently, thats how it goes in this country. I met other people in similar situation so even if i pushed for it before, i was pretty aware that it might be difficult until his kid is in the legal age to choose his guardian.
@Arielle83 you can say that easily because you are not in my shoes right now. Easy to judge other people.
Posted by busyeyes88Like i mentioned, he had been separated for 3 years before I met him. I'm not a low life. I am just not in the ideal situation right now. Why hating on me so much?Posted by NevermoreExactly!!
For two and half year of having affairs that he still didn't file into divorce.. Yet he doesn't want to break up with you..
Girl, it's obvious that he's using you.
Why are people encouraging her to continue the affair with a married man?!! They should be slagging her off and telling her to dump him!!
He's right to use her!! He she has filled a gab for him while he fills a hole and now he wants to drill and fill a more exciting hole!!!
It's obvious that the OP would have a USED BY date and a SELL BY DATE... The the OP's time is up!!!! Her ass sold to the lowest bidder because a low life is what she is!!
Karma is a bitch!!!click to expand
Posted by SensitiveBluesI'm just exhausted already. Apart from dealing with this, I'm actually up for promotion at work in a span of 6 months being in my company. I'm just very exhausted......Posted by PureGem23you sound like a quitter and a loser
He just said things werent as exciting as before. But he said he didnt want to break up. So I dont know. I am tempted to do a disappearing act. I cannot handle it now.... Im sad and broken 😢(click to expand
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428I'm seriously considering. If this continues I dont know how to handle it anymore. There's so much going on in my life.... I just want a stable relationship so I can focus on other things. Tbh. It makes me sad because I am really focusing on my career now and with him suddenly saying things like this... It just distracts me. I dont want it. I want to go home to someone after a hard day's work and spend time together. I've been battling all day to stay on top and i just want to rest after a long hard day.... I cannot cope anymore....
Yeah because people manipulative towards people and sometimes it would be a rebound to the guy who is supposed to be getting a divorce. Sloppy seconds isn't my force and@OP should leave. I forgot this situation and it happens to good people. Move on sweetie.
Posted by gengbenghiskhanThats really harsh.
well of course not. no one puts a scoop of a side dish on their plate intending to only eat that forever.
no sympathy here. if you have even a bit of honour, you'll break up with him and suggest to him that he tell his wife what a wh.re he is so that she can go ahead and finalize the divorce for him. she probably deserves better than either of you, both plates of rotten leftovers.
Posted by tizianiI'm basically 11 years younger than him. He has reached the peak of his career and I was expecting him to be more understanding of me trying to reach mine. But instead he ended up saying we have lost our spark. I just wonder whether our relationship matured in time or it got worse. I am just very hurt because this is not the relationship I want anymore. I crave for stability ... Not just the divorce thing or the kids issue but also emotional stability. I thought by dating a guy who had been through a lot and is older than me, he can provide me that. But i guess i was wrong.Posted by PureGem23That's a very different issue then.Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428I'm seriously considering. If this continues I dont know how to handle it anymore. There's so much going on in my life.... I just want a stable relationship so I can focus on other things. Tbh. It makes me sad because I am really focusing on my career now and with him suddenly saying things like this... It just distracts me. I dont want it. I want to go home to someone after a hard day's work and spend time together. I've been battling all day to stay on top and i just want to rest after a long hard day.... I cannot cope anymore....
Yeah because people manipulative towards people and sometimes it would be a rebound to the guy who is supposed to be getting a divorce. Sloppy seconds isn't my force and@OP should leave. I forgot this situation and it happens to good people. Move on sweetie.
If your career is your number 1 priority then maybe your priorities are simply different.
Same thing with the wanting children which I agree with TaurusInTexas.click to expand
Posted by Arielle83I'm not being selfish. He used to have drinking problems and i stood by him. He went through mid life crisis and i was there. He quit his job and i was there. When he was feeling emotionally down and asked me to be with him, i stayed. I put up with so many things that you dont know about. I dont think its right to consider me selfish. I just thought its my time to be understood now. To be supported. To be loved. Because i need it at this stage in my life. And he ends up saying the spark is gone.Posted by PureGem23Deflect all you want, but the problem is you're only thinking of "in your shoes".
@Arielle83 you can say that easily because you are not in my shoes right now. Easy to judge other people.
I was addressing how he sees you in HIS shoes.
Look at his situation.
Going through divorce and financial bs and you're whining about planning a date?
You sound extremely self involved.
Think outside of yourself and realise why he's lost the spark.
You aren't supportive. It's all me me me.
He's got real problems and you just want attention.
Give to the man your support and make him feel like a man and you will be rewarded in kind.
A man feels love and respect from being wanted by their partner. You aren't wanting him. You want him to want you. He's probably stressed and you aren't validating him as a man.
He's going to revaluate his life in terms of stress and maybe you failed the support system and he's detached. Aqua's thinking big, and you're thinking about you.click to expand
Posted by tizianiIt's just the stage i'm at now. It's time for me to go after my dreams which translates to my job. I have always taken the back seat in most things. But just for once, now, i want to achieve the best that i could.... And yet i lost him in the process....Posted by PureGem23Fair play. At least you recognise what you need and that's three quarters of the battle in knowing what to do.Posted by tizianiI'm basically 11 years younger than him. He has reached the peak of his career and I was expecting him to be more understanding of me trying to reach mine. But instead he ended up saying we have lost our spark. I just wonder whether our relationship matured in time or it got worse. I am just very hurt because this is not the relationship I want anymore. I crave for stability ... Not just the divorce thing or the kids issue but also emotional stability. I thought by dating a guy who had been through a lot and is older than me, he can provide me that. But i guess i was wrong.Posted by PureGem23That's a very different issue then.Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428I'm seriously considering. If this continues I dont know how to handle it anymore. There's so much going on in my life.... I just want a stable relationship so I can focus on other things. Tbh. It makes me sad because I am really focusing on my career now and with him suddenly saying things like this... It just distracts me. I dont want it. I want to go home to someone after a hard day's work and spend time together. I've been battling all day to stay on top and i just want to rest after a long hard day.... I cannot cope anymore....
Yeah because people manipulative towards people and sometimes it would be a rebound to the guy who is supposed to be getting a divorce. Sloppy seconds isn't my force and@OP should leave. I forgot this situation and it happens to good people. Move on sweetie.
If your career is your number 1 priority then maybe your priorities are simply different.
Same thing with the wanting children which I agree with TaurusInTexas.click to expand
Posted by PureGem23I think you just said it right there, you feel you have been a good partner and you feel he is not - If you have brought these concerns to him and you feel that nothing will change, then in the famous words of our Scorpio friend @getmisted its time to "ignore and move on" If he can't give you what you need, then find someone that can, in the end you'll both probably be better off.Posted by Arielle83I'm not being selfish. He used to have drinking problems and i stood by him. He went through mid life crisis and i was there. He quit his job and i was there. When he was feeling emotionally down and asked me to be with him, i stayed. I put up with so many things that you dont know about. I dont think its right to consider me selfish. I just thought its my time to be understood now. To be supported. To be loved. Because i need it at this stage in my life. And he ends up saying the spark is gone.Posted by PureGem23Deflect all you want, but the problem is you're only thinking of "in your shoes".
@Arielle83 you can say that easily because you are not in my shoes right now. Easy to judge other people.
I was addressing how he sees you in HIS shoes.
Look at his situation.
Going through divorce and financial bs and you're whining about planning a date?
You sound extremely self involved.
Think outside of yourself and realise why he's lost the spark.
You aren't supportive. It's all me me me.
He's got real problems and you just want attention.
Give to the man your support and make him feel like a man and you will be rewarded in kind.
A man feels love and respect from being wanted by their partner. You aren't wanting him. You want him to want you. He's probably stressed and you aren't validating him as a man.
He's going to revaluate his life in terms of stress and maybe you failed the support system and he's detached. Aqua's thinking big, and you're thinking about you.click to expand
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