@SagHaert2
10 Years
Aqua man getting distant....
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That's a lot of face time in a short period of time. Aquas need SPACE, sometimes a lot of it.
He may be feeling that you guys are moving a little too fast. Pull back and see what happens.
Yes, we went out 5 times in a little over a week. I thought it was a lot too (but I loved it!!) .... not to mention the hours and hours of phone conversations and texting. It was all initiated by him, until the last few days..... after I initiated a couple of texts and suggested we go out for his birthday, he started getting distant.
I guess I'll give him some space and see what happens.
I dated an Aqua a few months ago, but I didn't pay much attention to him. He was verbally abusive and I was trying to cut things off (he had some of my stuff that I was trying to get back)..... but my lack of interest drove him crazy. He pursued me like crazy. Is that what Aqua guys are like? They don't want to be pursued, but will pursue the girl if the girl acts like she isn't interested? The abusive guy that I dated didn't seem to need any space....he wanted to spend every minute of every day with me. He wanted to marry me. He got really angry when I wouldn't spend time with him and when I acted like I wasn't interested...... but then again, he probably wasn't a "normal" aqua..... he was a little obsessive. I must have broken up with him 6 or 7 times..... I finally got my computers and other stuff back, and then didn't talk to him again.
The similarities I see with both guys is that they were both very affectionate right away.....and both wanted to spend a lot of time with me. They also both have a large dog companion that they are very attached to, lol. I don't know what that means.... 😉
The Leo guy I dated last year avoided spending a lot of one on one time with me (despite the crazy hot chemistry between us), so these Aqua guys were a nice surprise.... just not the part where he lost interest 😢
I don't see anything in what you described as him losing interest. I think your other dude had control issues. Aquas (at least the ones I've known) seem generally to like having their own lives and then having relationships parallel to that. Not 2 lives, but each of you having your own lives and then you blend together at times but not constantly. Maybe some (especially ones uaed to being in relationships) have to sort of learn to adapt to "conventional" relationships and are more comfortable with merging completely. I do think that older guys are going to have more baggage (like all of us) that will affect how they view and act in relationships so that's something to consider. Especially with the abusive one--Aquas *can* get pretty nasty if they don't get what they want using their charm, but usually they just walk away, never to be heard from again.
I've only been with Aquas seriously, no other signs, and admittedly been with the same Aqua for over 20 years, but he is quite typically Aqua if you read the online descriptions. And I think people looking from the outside would wonder about our relationship; it's most definitely not a "joined at the hip" kind of thing. And mine resisted a relationship for YEARS, even though we were technically in one. He just didn't want to be tied down. When I decided to let it droo, he became much more comfortable. When I decided to end it, we took some time off and he decided to get serious. Yes, they do tend to like it when the person of interest doesn't show oto much enthusiasm. Until *they're* ready, at which time you need to lay it on thick so as to reassure them that you're really interested.
Confusing creatures they are. 🙂
Try not to let it bother you. yeah it's hard, I know. But realize it's not about you most likely. Maybe he needed time to do his laundry, talk on the phone with his kids, etc. Aquas need time to recharge. If you give them space to recharge, then they come back strong.
Stay confident and maintain your independence - aqua men like these traits. He needs to maintain his independence as well. Remember, aquas need someone who doesn't let their idiosyncrasies bother them. They know they have them so for them finding someone that can deal with them is a big deal.
Just try not to think too much into it and be happy to hear from him when he contacts you. Don't go overboard, but use your tone of voice to let him feel good about contacting you.
Just read through every thread on the Aquarius boards. You'll get a lot of different insight on a lot of different situations. I did that when I first got with my aqua guy (almost 4 years ago) and it really helped me understand the aqua mindset through the problems other women had as well as by the answers the aquas gave (though when you're new, it's hard to know who the aquas are).
You'll see the aloofness and the reason behind it.
The need for distance and the various reasons.
Notice a trend on how aquas "train" their lovers.
Notice the trend of disappearance/reappearance.
Notice the aqua uniqueness and genuinity and nonconformity.
Notice the signs of aquas in like/love and everything in between.
Get a full feel of the aqua energy.
Like I said, it helped me understand my guy a lot better.
Posted by sultrykitty
That's a lot of face time in a short period of time. Aquas need SPACE, sometimes a lot of it.He may be feeling that you guys are moving a little too fast. Pull back and see what happens.
when people say space,
do they mean like these aqua types go away from home?
i notice that if you are dominant earth/water and you have a "connection" with your man,
you just wanna be with your beloved no matter what he does. sounds clingy and possessive.
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
That's a lot of face time in a short period of time. Aquas need SPACE, sometimes a lot of it.He may be feeling that you guys are moving a little too fast. Pull back and see what happens.
when people say space,
do they mean like these aqua types go away from home?
click to expand
Mine goes out to the garage and works for 12 hours, or will play online video games for hours. Before we lived together, he would only call once a week to get together and was incommunicado the rest of the time.
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
That's a lot of face time in a short period of time. Aquas need SPACE, sometimes a lot of it.He may be feeling that you guys are moving a little too fast. Pull back and see what happens.
when people say space,
do they mean like these aqua types go away from home?
Mine goes out to the garage and works for 12 hours, or will play online video games for hours. Before we lived together, he would only call once a week to get together and was incommunicado the rest of the time.
click to expand
-_-
that must have been hell for you.
i couldnt deal with that.
what's he doing in the garage 12 hours too? eating and sleeping there??
not even Mechanics work that long all day long. not that i know of.
Posted by lisabethur8
i couldnt deal with that.what's he doing in the garage 12 hours too? eating and sleeping there??
not even Mechanics work that long all day long. not that i know of.
He normally works 12-16 hours, been known to work 20 hours. He'll come in for dinner but then go back out.
His pinball shop is out there, and he has a TV and stereo too.
We spend a few hours together in the evening and that's about it. I've gotten used to it.
Posted by lisabethur8
i notice that if you are dominant earth/water and you have a "connection" with your man,
you just wanna be with your beloved no matter what he does. sounds clingy and possessive.
I agree with this. I'm conflicted because as an earth sign, I need a lot of time with my man. My aquarius mars though doesn't want to be crowded and runs from clinginess. Then, as a scorpio venus, I need to feel secure and know my man is thinking about me and is all in - I need that connection. It's very tough in a relationship because I want closeness and space at the same time. Sooo, for me an earth dominant aquarius is PERFECT for me, because they are very similar and there is a balance there that satisfies both of us.
I was married to a pisces for 20 years. He spent most of his time in the garage..... I considered him a roommate, not a spouse. I never spent time with him and we never talked. I don't want that arrangement again. The reason I like this Aqua guy so much is that he was smothering me with attention. If that's over, then I guess I'll move on. What sign will give you attention that isn't over after the first week or two?
Maybe that's why as a Sag, I like to move from guy to guy..... I like the newness of the relationship....the attention? And when it's over, I move on? Don't get me wrong,.... I can be very loyal. I stayed in a bad marriage for 20 years...... but now I need more. I need someone who actually acknowledges that I exist.
Posted by Koniucha
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
i couldnt deal with that.what's he doing in the garage 12 hours too? eating and sleeping there??
not even Mechanics work that long all day long. not that i know of.
He normally works 12-16 hours, been known to work 20 hours. He'll come in for dinner but then go back out.
His pinball shop is out there, and he has a TV and stereo too.
We spend a few hours together in the evening and that's about it. I've gotten used to it.
Does he have Aqua Venus?
click to expand
Yeah. :-)
Posted by Koniucha
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by Koniucha
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
i couldnt deal with that.what's he doing in the garage 12 hours too? eating and sleeping there??
not even Mechanics work that long all day long. not that i know of.
He normally works 12-16 hours, been known to work 20 hours. He'll come in for dinner but then go back out.
His pinball shop is out there, and he has a TV and stereo too.
We spend a few hours together in the evening and that's about it. I've gotten used to it.
Does he have Aqua Venus?
Yeah. :-)
Ok, just curious.
Do you happen to have a Venus - Uranus aspect?
click to expand
Yep, conjunct in Libra, a little more than a degree.
Posted by Koniucha
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by Koniucha
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by Koniucha
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
i couldnt deal with that.what's he doing in the garage 12 hours too? eating and sleeping there??
not even Mechanics work that long all day long. not that i know of.
He normally works 12-16 hours, been known to work 20 hours. He'll come in for dinner but then go back out.
His pinball shop is out there, and he has a TV and stereo too.
We spend a few hours together in the evening and that's about it. I've gotten used to it.
Does he have Aqua Venus?
Yeah. :-)
Ok, just curious.
Do you happen to have a Venus - Uranus aspect?
Yep, conjunct in Libra, a little more than a degree.
So that is why you are good with that. You require freedom in your relationships too.
I'm just curious because I have Venus sextile Uranus and tend to attract others with a Venus/Uranus aspect. My crush has the square 🙂
click to expand
Interesting. He doesn't have Venus aspects to Uranus but Aqua is Uranian inherently.
I need me time every day.
Posted by truecap
Posted by lisabethur8
i notice that if you are dominant earth/water and you have a "connection" with your man,
you just wanna be with your beloved no matter what he does. sounds clingy and possessive.I agree with this. I'm conflicted because as an earth sign, I need a lot of time with my man. My aquarius mars though doesn't want to be crowded and runs from clinginess. Then, as a scorpio venus, I need to feel secure and know my man is thinking about me and is all in - I need that connection. It's very tough in a relationship because I want closeness and space at the same time. Sooo, for me an earth dominant aquarius is PERFECT for me, because they are very similar and there is a balance there that satisfies both of us.
click to expand
yup.
my man for awhile a couple years ago worked far, and even last year a little bit, to a different countrie(s), and even stayed at hotels paid by his work, for business.
i hated it, and he hated it, so he asked his boss to work at home sometimes and outside, but give some other people to work business trips to other countries, faraway cities, that kind of thing.
Sometimes he's home ALL WEEK next to me working, in the same table...
or he's working a little far all week but at least he comes home every evening depending on time and i make him dinner.
he would make more money going far, but he'd rather be HOME with us!!!! 😄 😄
homebody deluxe!!!!
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
i couldnt deal with that.what's he doing in the garage 12 hours too? eating and sleeping there??
not even Mechanics work that long all day long. not that i know of.
He normally works 12-16 hours, been known to work 20 hours. He'll come in for dinner but then go back out.
His pinball shop is out there, and he has a TV and stereo too.
We spend a few hours together in the evening and that's about it. I've gotten used to it.
click to expand
to be honest, that's just insane.
he sounds like he should stay single.
that's not a relationship anymore.
it's a relationship with his man cave, where he lives.
oh god i ADMIRE alot of women who can take it.
there are a million women out there who are married to truck drivers, who drive far away, or are men in the military who go for MONTHS on end....or astronauts!!!!
how the hell do they do it?
I am glad no man ever approached me that were in those types of work places.
seriously that is ADMIRABLE!!! for a woman to never see her man for many months. I commend them.
id rather stay single. not for me.
Posted by MiZLeo
I think men in general just need space. I don't think you'll find any man in any sign that is going to give you that newness feeling forever. I too am a divorce(together 12 yrs) and I understand the roommate feeling..he was a cancer. I don't want that again either. I think you just need to find the right guy that both of you can't keep your hands off eachother...or a guy that understands that kind of situation and doesn't want that again either. I dunno. It doesn't sound like the Aqua is loosing interest in you tho but maybe you need more excitement now that you're free. Maybe don't commit to one guy at a time and date more than one guy for the moment until you find someone you def want to settle down with again.
i read that uranian chicks can do it.
i get LONELY and start crying.
god im SOOOO NEEDY.
those times when he worked far, he'd call me up a couple times a day and i'd CRY. even right before he went to sleep at his hotel room and im crying, saying COME HOME!!! :::SOB::::
i can't imagine those military wives..
lol
ok ok, they can do it, but im SOOOO GLAD none of those types of guys came up to me.
Posted by lisabethur8
those times when he worked far, he'd call me up a couple times a day and i'd CRY. even right before he went to sleep at his hotel room and im crying, saying COME HOME!!! :::SOB::::
lmao it was like only 2 nights. not an entire week. but i still cried....
😆 😆 😆
*sigh* it feels good to let that out.
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
i couldnt deal with that.what's he doing in the garage 12 hours too? eating and sleeping there??
not even Mechanics work that long all day long. not that i know of.
He normally works 12-16 hours, been known to work 20 hours. He'll come in for dinner but then go back out.
His pinball shop is out there, and he has a TV and stereo too.
We spend a few hours together in the evening and that's about it. I've gotten used to it.
to be honest, that's just insane.
he sounds like he should stay single.
that's not a relationship anymore.
it's a relationship with his man cave, where he lives.
click to expand
Part of why I was a hair away from ending it last year and running off with Scorpio,/Virgo coworker. Incredibly better synastry and composite; much more aligned emotionally.
Ultimately our relationship is too important to both of us to walk away, regardless of both of our difficult natures.
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
i couldnt deal with that.what's he doing in the garage 12 hours too? eating and sleeping there??
not even Mechanics work that long all day long. not that i know of.
He normally works 12-16 hours, been known to work 20 hours. He'll come in for dinner but then go back out.
His pinball shop is out there, and he has a TV and stereo too.
We spend a few hours together in the evening and that's about it. I've gotten used to it.
to be honest, that's just insane.
he sounds like he should stay single.
that's not a relationship anymore.
it's a relationship with his man cave, where he lives.
Part of why I was a hair away from ending it last year and running off with Scorpio,/Virgo coworker. Incredibly better synastry and composite; much more aligned emotionally.
Ultimately our relationship is too important to both of us to walk away, regardless of both of our difficult natures.
click to expand
now you say this? 😕 I thought you were super airy? lol
and honestly, it doesn't sound like you love him, if you thought about another man with better synastry.
kitty that TYPE of man is not appreciative of you.you sound really UNHAPPY being with him. that's why you thought of another man.
it doesn't make sense at all. i mean i can sense you are NOT happy.
Posted by MiZLeo
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by MiZLeo
I think men in general just need space. I don't think you'll find any man in any sign that is going to give you that newness feeling forever. I too am a divorce(together 12 yrs) and I understand the roommate feeling..he was a cancer. I don't want that again either. I think you just need to find the right guy that both of you can't keep your hands off eachother...or a guy that understands that kind of situation and doesn't want that again either. I dunno. It doesn't sound like the Aqua is loosing interest in you tho but maybe you need more excitement now that you're free. Maybe don't commit to one guy at a time and date more than one guy for the moment until you find someone you def want to settle down with again.
i read that uranian chicks can do it.
i get LONELY and start crying.
god im SOOOO NEEDY.
Uranian chicks? Being with someone in the military is not easy at all, which is why I am on a break from my Pisces...he's been gone for 4 months now. Not the first time either, but it is easier than the first time he left....I was like a zombie then. We have gone weeks with out talking this time but I think it is starting to wear on him cause he's been texting me everyday the past week. We have not talked for a month at a time b4...but he can't even go that long. It sucks.
click to expand
that's what i'm saying,
i commend you and any couple going through that.
that is amazing!!
Posted by MiZLeo
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by MiZLeo
I think men in general just need space. I don't think you'll find any man in any sign that is going to give you that newness feeling forever. I too am a divorce(together 12 yrs) and I understand the roommate feeling..he was a cancer. I don't want that again either. I think you just need to find the right guy that both of you can't keep your hands off eachother...or a guy that understands that kind of situation and doesn't want that again either. I dunno. It doesn't sound like the Aqua is loosing interest in you tho but maybe you need more excitement now that you're free. Maybe don't commit to one guy at a time and date more than one guy for the moment until you find someone you def want to settle down with again.
i read that uranian chicks can do it.
i get LONELY and start crying.
god im SOOOO NEEDY.
Uranian chicks? Being with someone in the military is not easy at all, which is why I am on a break from my Pisces...he's been gone for 4 months now. Not the first time either, but it is easier than the first time he left....I was like a zombie then. We have gone weeks with out talking this time but I think it is starting to wear on him cause he's been texting me everyday the past week. We have not talked for a month at a time b4...but he can't even go that long. It sucks.
click to expand
you know what? our Leo aunt has her Pisces husband with her EVERYDAY at home, even though he is working at the farm.
they no longer have the farm, due to his illness, but he is better now, and they are going to buy a smaller country home in the Woods.
and she's been happy with him for many many years.
that's why it's amazing, how some of you can stand being with someone so far.
it's a good trait you couples can do that. dont knock it.
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
i couldnt deal with that.what's he doing in the garage 12 hours too? eating and sleeping there??
not even Mechanics work that long all day long. not that i know of.
He normally works 12-16 hours, been known to work 20 hours. He'll come in for dinner but then go back out.
His pinball shop is out there, and he has a TV and stereo too.
We spend a few hours together in the evening and that's about it. I've gotten used to it.
to be honest, that's just insane.
he sounds like he should stay single.
that's not a relationship anymore.
it's a relationship with his man cave, where he lives.
Part of why I was a hair away from ending it last year and running off with Scorpio,/Virgo coworker. Incredibly better synastry and composite; much more aligned emotionally.
Ultimately our relationship is too important to both of us to walk away, regardless of both of our difficult natures.
now you say this? 😕 I thought you were super airy? loland honestly, it doesn't sound like you love him, if you thought about another man with better synastry.
click to expand
I spent mor time with my coworker than with my gu at the time. It was hard, and had been a bad relationship for a long time. But out of RESPECT for him an the relationship, and because I Do love him, I decided to give it another shot. Our relationship is tmuch better now.
I know, I know, you don't believe that "tral" love relationships can behave this way, but they do.
I don't blame you for not understanding, but without knowing us, no one really can.
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
i couldnt deal with that.what's he doing in the garage 12 hours too? eating and sleeping there??
not even Mechanics work that long all day long. not that i know of.
He normally works 12-16 hours, been known to work 20 hours. He'll come in for dinner but then go back out.
His pinball shop is out there, and he has a TV and stereo too.
We spend a few hours together in the evening and that's about it. I've gotten used to it.
to be honest, that's just insane.
he sounds like he should stay single.
that's not a relationship anymore.
it's a relationship with his man cave, where he lives.
Part of why I was a hair away from ending it last year and running off with Scorpio,/Virgo coworker. Incredibly better synastry and composite; much more aligned emotionally.
Ultimately our relationship is too important to both of us to walk away, regardless of both of our difficult natures.
now you say this? 😕 I thought you were super airy? loland honestly, it doesn't sound like you love him, if you thought about another man with better synastry.
I spent mor time with my coworker thsn with my gu at the time.
I know, I know, you don't believe that "tral" love relationships can behave this way, but they do.
I don't blame you for not understanding, but without knowung us, no one really can.
click to expand
that's true. i wouldnt have questioned it ...at all...BUT what you said below about wanting to run off with someone else...that's why it doesn't sound like you're happy.
I found that the best way to deal with aquarius at the beginning of a relationship is to go with the flow. Infact all I did was just go with the flow. I didn't chase him down if I sensed he was being distant/off in his world....I think this may have been the key as to him wanting me to be his girlfriend.
Mine didn't pull any major disappearing act but he was distant at times. He was especially distant when something was stressing him hut he would contact me to apologize within a couple of days.
I do remember him pulling away a little after our first kiss. It worried me but I knew by this point his intentions weren't malicious.
Don't resort to playing games as I do believe they are 'observing' you during the distant periods a little.
I wasn't happy. Not at all. And neither was my Aqua.
Sorry for all the typos before.
It was not s good situation, and hasn't ever happened before in my life. We made a decision to work on our relationship because we DO love each other. If we hadn't had yhat discussion it would've been over.I woyld have been crushed (we've been through a lot) but at that point we were hanging by a thread. It's much MUCH better now.
Posted by sultrykitty
@lisabethur8,I wasn't happy. Not at all. And neither was my Aqua.
Sorry for all the typos before.
It was not s good situation, and hasn't ever happened before in my life. We made a decision to work on our relationship because we DO love each other. If we hadn't had yhat discussion it would've been over.I woyld have been crushed (we've been through a lot) but at that point we were hanging by a thread. It's much MUCH better now.
so does he spend anytime with you at all? 😢
i mean from what you said below...he is doing 12 hours at his garage ect.
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
@lisabethur8,I wasn't happy. Not at all. And neither was my Aqua.
Sorry for all the typos before.
It was not s good situation, and hasn't ever happened before in my life. We made a decision to work on our relationship because we DO love each other. If we hadn't had yhat discussion it would've been over.I woyld have been crushed (we've been through a lot) but at that point we were hanging by a thread. It's much MUCH better now.
so does he spend anytime with you at all? 😢
i mean from what you said below...he is doing 12 hours at his garage ect.
click to expand
Before we were spending literally NO time together. I wouldn't even talk to him for days. He would come in for 1/2 hour to eat dinner and that's it. I had a job that had me out from 7am to 7pm. I did all the cooking, cleaning, and yardwork. He was just a squatter as far as I was concerned.
Since Christams 2014 to now, we share household duties, he's contributing financially, and we spend every evening together for at least 3-4 hours. And we gou out to do errands together now. It is working well.
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
@lisabethur8,I wasn't happy. Not at all. And neither was my Aqua.
Sorry for all the typos before.
It was not s good situation, and hasn't ever happened before in my life. We made a decision to work on our relationship because we DO love each other. If we hadn't had yhat discussion it would've been over.I woyld have been crushed (we've been through a lot) but at that point we were hanging by a thread. It's much MUCH better now.
so does he spend anytime with you at all? 😢
i mean from what you said below...he is doing 12 hours at his garage ect.
Before we were spending literally NO time together. I wouldn't even talk to him for days. He would come in for 1/2 hour to eat dinner and that's it. I had a job that had me out from 7am to 7pm. I did all the cooking, cleaning, and yardwork. He was just a squatter as far as I was concerned.
Since Christams 2014 to now, we share household duties, he's contributing financially, and we spend every evening together for at least 3-4 hours. And we gou out to do errands together now. It is working well.
click to expand
aw he sounds like a child, as if he had no sense of responsibilites and duties. 😢
but it looks like you helped him grow OR it is because he too is growing up.
dont know....maybe it is your help, as grown adults dont really change. I believe it sounds like he is making a huge effort. that is a good step.
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
@lisabethur8,I wasn't happy. Not at all. And neither was my Aqua.
Sorry for all the typos before.
It was not s good situation, and hasn't ever happened before in my life. We made a decision to work on our relationship because we DO love each other. If we hadn't had yhat discussion it would've been over.I woyld have been crushed (we've been through a lot) but at that point we were hanging by a thread. It's much MUCH better now.
so does he spend anytime with you at all? 😢
i mean from what you said below...he is doing 12 hours at his garage ect.
Before we were spending literally NO time together. I wouldn't even talk to him for days. He would come in for 1/2 hour to eat dinner and that's it. I had a job that had me out from 7am to 7pm. I did all the cooking, cleaning, and yardwork. He was just a squatter as far as I was concerned.
Since Christams 2014 to now, we share household duties, he's contributing financially, and we spend every evening together for at least 3-4 hours. And we gou out to do errands together now. It is working well.
aw he sounds like a child, as if he had no sense of responsibilites and duties. 😢
but it looks like you helped him grow OR it is because he too is growing up.
dont know....maybe it is your help, as grown adults dont really change. I believe it sounds like he is making a huge effort. that is a good step.click to expand
If he is making an effort, that is good. My ex didn't even do that. He did what he wanted to do. He's recently been diagnosed with Schizoid PD, Bi-Polar, Avoidant PD, Dependant PD, delusional issues, and also a Narcissistic Sociopath with a little autism spectrum disorder thrown into the mix.
Hopefully you are not dealing with mental disorders..... and hopefully the effort to make things work will last.
I just want to find someone who isn't mental, lol....
Posted by SagHaert2
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
@lisabethur8,I wasn't happy. Not at all. And neither was my Aqua.
Sorry for all the typos before.
It was not s good situation, and hasn't ever happened before in my life. We made a decision to work on our relationship because we DO love each other. If we hadn't had yhat discussion it would've been over.I woyld have been crushed (we've been through a lot) but at that point we were hanging by a thread. It's much MUCH better now.
so does he spend anytime with you at all? 😢
i mean from what you said below...he is doing 12 hours at his garage ect.
Before we were spending literally NO time together. I wouldn't even talk to him for days. He would come in for 1/2 hour to eat dinner and that's it. I had a job that had me out from 7am to 7pm. I did all the cooking, cleaning, and yardwork. He was just a squatter as far as I was concerned.
Since Christams 2014 to now, we share household duties, he's contributing financially, and we spend every evening together for at least 3-4 hours. And we gou out to do errands together now. It is working well.
aw he sounds like a child, as if he had no sense of responsibilites and duties. 😢
but it looks like you helped him grow OR it is because he too is growing up.
dont know....maybe it is your help, as grown adults dont really change. I believe it sounds like he is making a huge effort. that is a good step.
If he is making an effort, that is good. My ex didn't even do that. He did what he wanted to do. He's recently been diagnosed with Schizoid PD, Bi-Polar, Avoidant PD, Dependant PD, delusional issues, and also a Narcissistic Sociopath with a little autism spectrum disorder thrown into the mix.
Hopefully you are not dealing with mental disorders..... and hopefully the effort to make things work will last.
I just want to find someone who isn't mental, lol....
click to expand
Nope, none of that but there is ADHD which is a struggle but he's aware of it and tries. Just hard to maintain a focus (like consideration for someone else's feelings). I have to communicate very clearly and often which gets hard sometimes, but it's what I signed up for and we laugh about it most of the time. 🙂
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by SagHaert2
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
@lisabethur8,I wasn't happy. Not at all. And neither was my Aqua.
Sorry for all the typos before.
It was not s good situation, and hasn't ever happened before in my life. We made a decision to work on our relationship because we DO love each other. If we hadn't had yhat discussion it would've been over.I woyld have been crushed (we've been through a lot) but at that point we were hanging by a thread. It's much MUCH better now.
so does he spend anytime with you at all? 😢
i mean from what you said below...he is doing 12 hours at his garage ect.
Before we were spending literally NO time together. I wouldn't even talk to him for days. He would come in for 1/2 hour to eat dinner and that's it. I had a job that had me out from 7am to 7pm. I did all the cooking, cleaning, and yardwork. He was just a squatter as far as I was concerned.
Since Christams 2014 to now, we share household duties, he's contributing financially, and we spend every evening together for at least 3-4 hours. And we gou out to do errands together now. It is working well.
aw he sounds like a child, as if he had no sense of responsibilites and duties. 😢
but it looks like you helped him grow OR it is because he too is growing up.
dont know....maybe it is your help, as grown adults dont really change. I believe it sounds like he is making a huge effort. that is a good step.
If he is making an effort, that is good. My ex didn't even do that. He did what he wanted to do. He's recently been diagnosed with Schizoid PD, Bi-Polar, Avoidant PD, Dependant PD, delusional issues, and also a Narcissistic Sociopath with a little autism spectrum disorder thrown into the mix.
Hopefully you are not dealing with mental disorders..... and hopefully the effort to make things work will last.
I just want to find someone who isn't mental, lol....
Nope, none of that but there is ADHD which is a struggle but he's aware of it and tries. Just hard to maintain a focus (like consideration for someone else's feelings). I have to communicate very clearly and often which gets hard sometimes, but it's what I signed up for and we laugh about it most of the time. 🙂
click to expand
he is very
very Lucky to have you, SultryKitty.
i was thinking of that with some of my young male cousins, who are ADHD, and have a hard time.
I dont know if they will ever have some partner who will be PATIENT for them like that. Most people would not be bothered with children-like individuals.
so it takes someone with great love and patience for it.
hey you are a capricorn moon, SultryKitty....you are either
1) attracted to those younger than you (mentality)
or
2) older than you, much mature and responsible (mentality)
not necessarily age, but MOST people who display maturity are older,, wiser.
Or if they are children in mentality.
Capricorn individuals, influenced like either....
i have capricorn, but i dont like children adhd partners, like what you described, i want a responsible mature man.(which i got)
and my man doesn't want a children like woman either, with no responsibilities, and maturity, BUT he also wants someone child-like.
(leo dominant)
soooooo interesting, SultryKitty!!!
Posted by lisabethur8
hey you are a capricorn moon, SultryKitty....you are either1) attracted to those younger than you (mentality)
or
2) older than you, much mature and responsible (mentality)
not necessarily age, but MOST people who display maturity are older,, wiser.
Or if they are children in mentality.
Capricorn individuals, influenced like either....
He's more emotionally mature than I am, and I'm more mature in material matters. We both teach each other things.
He's incredibly intelligent but not educated (HS dropout) I'm a bit nerdy. So it works.
We have strong Saturn and Neptune in synastry so we feel responsible for each other. His difficulty lies in follow through. 🙂
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
hey you are a capricorn moon, SultryKitty....you are either1) attracted to those younger than you (mentality)
or
2) older than you, much mature and responsible (mentality)
not necessarily age, but MOST people who display maturity are older,, wiser.
Or if they are children in mentality.
Capricorn individuals, influenced like either....
He's more emotionally mature than I am, and I'm more mature in material matters. We both teach each other things.
He's incredibly intelligent but not educated (HS dropout) I'm a bit nerdy. So it works.
We have strong Saturn and Neptune in synastry so we feel responsible for each other. His difficulty lies in follow through. 🙂
click to expand
that's good you know eachother.
i dont know if me and my hubs teach eachother anything. we just love eachother's company.
hm maybe i teach him to be more patient. i am SLOWER than him i notice and he is fast...in everything. and he says i can be so slow, also in walking and getting stuff done, but i do get everything done, just at my pace. so he learns PATIENCE. then again, he has a cappy mother with aqua influence. so it's like she is handing me the TORCH.....like it's this, "I raised him, and now it's your turn when i leave this world, that you take care of my baby boy,"
there is a topic i had awhile ago on your parents/grandparents energies and what your partner desires, that he is comfortable with. that kind of thing.
it resonates alot with us.
you and your man may have that.
Posted by SagHaert2
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sultrykitty
@lisabethur8,I wasn't happy. Not at all. And neither was my Aqua.
Sorry for all the typos before.
It was not s good situation, and hasn't ever happened before in my life. We made a decision to work on our relationship because we DO love each other. If we hadn't had yhat discussion it would've been over.I woyld have been crushed (we've been through a lot) but at that point we were hanging by a thread. It's much MUCH better now.
so does he spend anytime with you at all? 😢
i mean from what you said below...he is doing 12 hours at his garage ect.
Before we were spending literally NO time together. I wouldn't even talk to him for days. He would come in for 1/2 hour to eat dinner and that's it. I had a job that had me out from 7am to 7pm. I did all the cooking, cleaning, and yardwork. He was just a squatter as far as I was concerned.
Since Christams 2014 to now, we share household duties, he's contributing financially, and we spend every evening together for at least 3-4 hours. And we gou out to do errands together now. It is working well.
aw he sounds like a child, as if he had no sense of responsibilites and duties. 😢
but it looks like you helped him grow OR it is because he too is growing up.
dont know....maybe it is your help, as grown adults dont really change. I believe it sounds like he is making a huge effort. that is a good step.
If he is making an effort, that is good. My ex didn't even do that. He did what he wanted to do. He's recently been diagnosed with Schizoid PD, Bi-Polar, Avoidant PD, Dependant PD, delusional issues, and also a Narcissistic Sociopath with a little autism spectrum disorder thrown into the mix.
Hopefully you are not dealing with mental disorders..... and hopefully the effort to make things work will last.
I just want to find someone who isn't mental, lol....
click to expand
well if you love him, you dont mind his mental disabilities. It takes alot of strength to be with someone like that. But if you dont love him, there's no point.
No, I didn't love him for a long time. He would lie about everything. I believe he probably had an affair.....he didn't even try to love me. He took me out to dinner once a year if I was lucky....ignored me the rest of the time. Intimacy was cold and mechanical and infrequent. He never showed concern for me... never tried to talk to me.... but he didn't want a divorce. He was comfortable with the situation the way it was. I took care of the bills and the kids, and that's all that mattered to him. I lost all respect for him. I don't know why I stayed as long as I did....
Posted by SagHaert2
No, I didn't love him for a long time. He would lie about everything. I believe he probably had an affair.....he didn't even try to love me. He took me out to dinner once a year if I was lucky....ignored me the rest of the time. Intimacy was cold and mechanical and infrequent. He never showed concern for me... never tried to talk to me.... but he didn't want a divorce. He was comfortable with the situation the way it was. I took care of the bills and the kids, and that's all that mattered to him. I lost all respect for him. I don't know why I stayed as long as I did....
then he didnt love you either.
you both didnt love eachother, and he didnt respect you back.
both mirroring eachother....
and i wonder why both of you stayed so long. it's like a torture. i think at that point, you just stay for not being alone.
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A little history...I'm almost 50 yrs old, and recently divorced.... just getting back into dating after 20 years, so trying to figure this all out again. I'm also not too knowledgeable about zodiac signs, but I'm very interested in the compatibility between the different signs. I'm a sagittarius with a moon sign of either gemini or cancer (not sure of time of birth).
I met a guy online and we emailed, texted, talked on the phone, etc.... for a few days. Then we met in person for coffee and I was pleasantly surprised. We really hit it off. We went out again a few days later and ended up being intimate.... (too soon, I know...) A couple days later we got together again, and things we wonderful. He is very affectionate and had all of the qualities I was looking for. The 3rd date I took him out for his birthday. That went well, but no physical contact that night. He fell asleep on me. Sunday we went out to a sports bar and watched the superbowl together. Again, he was very affectionate, but he seemed a little more distant. Last night, he had invited me over for dinner, but again, he was affectionate, but a lot more distant. We sat on the couch and held hands, but he only kissed me a couple of times.
He had also been texting me "good morning" every morning, and calling me in the evening, and we would talk for 4-5 hours at a time. All of that has stopped. Today I didn't hear anything from him at all.
Is there still any chance that he will come back? Or are we done? I was really falling for him, but maybe I got too clingy. Maybe I scared him away. I know I was a little clingy on Sunday, but last night I tried to play it cool and not push things.
Any advice? Should I just forget about him? Should I just give him some space and see what happens? He is Aquarius with a cancer moon sign (I think).
It's just strange to me that he was so affectionate, and then just turns it off. I'm not used to that.
..... right now I'm not wanting to get hurt, so I'm wanting to just forget about him and run in the other direction. I really fell for a Leo last year, and had a very hard time getting over him, so I think I'm much more guarded right now.
any insight as to what might be going on here would be appreciated. It could also be that we just got too involved too soon.... ??