Astrology Humor

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Moon in Cancer:

haha, good ole Aussie humour 🙂

Posted by xMoonMan
G'day sweethearts
Yeah, the last line, in the version I'm familiar with is actually "fuck I'm pissed" which in Aussie speak means drunk.
So I thought I'd change it to a universal word, as I think "pissed" in America means annoyed or angry?

Hey xMoon,

yeah, I just let people around here think I'm angry all the time, where in reality I enjoy Pissed DXPing 😛

Good Morning maiit na batang lalaki 😛

You are a little boy...

Ikaw ay isang bastos maliit na batang lalaki at kailangan ng kaunting lasa ... nakabaligtad ang ulo

This for you xMoon 🙂


Kiwi Clock.....

Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, a drunk Kiwi led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.



'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friend's asked.

'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Australian clock' he drunkenly replied.

'A talking Australian clock - seriously?'

'Yup.' 'Hmmm (hic).'

'How's it work?' the second friend asked, squinting at it.

'Just watch' he said.

He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash' and stepped back.



His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.

Suddenly, an Australian voice from the other side of the wall screamed,

'For f*&k's sake, you stupid Kiwi prick. It's ten past three in the f*&^% #g morning!!!??

I thought it was that a Leeb can't decide if it needs changing...

How many Cancer's does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one...but he has to bring his Mama 😛

Posted by sweethearts
This for you xMoon 🙂


Kiwi Clock.....

Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, a drunk Kiwi led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.



'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friend's asked.

'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Australian clock' he drunkenly replied.

'A talking Australian clock - seriously?'

'Yup.' 'Hmmm (hic).'

'How's it work?' the second friend asked, squinting at it.

'Just watch' he said.

He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash' and stepped back.



His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.

Suddenly, an Australian voice from the other side of the wall screamed,

'For f*&k's sake, you stupid Kiwi prick. It's ten past three in the f*&^% #g morning!!!??

Lol!

This is a cool mug:

Posted by xMoonMan

Posted by sweethearts
I thought it was that a Leeb can't decide if it needs changing...

How many Cancer's does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one...but he has to bring his Mama 😛

Get stuffed, girly !

Oh no, Libra's can make decisions, it's just that they're diplomatic about it, so they need to make sure the light bulb is ready to change before actually changing it.

click to expand

Now don't go getting all crabby on me Moonman...or I'll tell your Mama on you 😛

I can't decide 😛

Posted by ninjutsu
Geez that shit is like 2 grand. Pricey vibrator..

He is being generous, never scrimping on quality.

/bullswagger.

Posted by chopstickcharmer

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by ninjutsu
Geez that shit is like 2 grand. Pricey vibrator..

He is being generous, never scrimping on quality.

/bullswagger.

lol i guess that rules it out as a cheap xmas gift to the dying eggs and triceps club huh? 😛

oh so now that i'm buying sex toys i have swagger? 😈

click to expand

There are varying levels of cheap, you chose a higher ranking one that is all 😈

Only bulls would insist, even when preferences were shown. That takes swagger, to ignore everything one hears 😛

Posted by exoskeleton


this always makes me smile. happy birthday, cancers. 🙂

Now that's funny!!

Posted by EusiveSoulll
Erm... yeah, not quite! Cusp of sixth house Virgo here would positively have a heart attack at that sight. Besides, I'm a Pisces mooner which translates something like this 😛

Ahhh crying in the rain, my favourite passtime!

Lunch at the Zodiac Grill

Aries: *picking up a rifle* I??ll go hunting and get an animal; we can have that for lunch.

Taurus: Oh, lovely. I??ll bring out that nice pastel tablecloth and get flowers from the garden. You make soup and be sure to put lots of cream in it.

Gemini: Let's go for a movie, we can get something to eat on the way. Afterwards, we can go to that book reading I was talking about. Mary and Spence will be there and we can grab a drink with them later on.

Cancer: Lunch today, yes. But with the way the economy is, how many more lunches do we have left? I wish I was kid again and watching Mom bake for me! *sniff*

Leo: I hope I look okay! What do you think? Should I have gotten my hair streaked for this lunch date?

Virgo: Lunch? No, thanks. I??ve got a packet of prunes I'm going to eat at my desk while I proofread these documents.

Libra: *retouching her make-up and spraying on Chanel No. 5* I met this gorgeous man at the —How to find True Love?? seminar and he's taking me out to lunch!

Scorpio: *in a deep, smoky voice* Lunch??_I will eat you, ma ch?rie. (He means it, ladies!??)

??Sagittarius: I'm going for this —Human Rights for All?? thing, you know? Then I'm going for my philosophy class, I??ll get something in the cafeteria.??

Capricorn: Mr. Brown??s invited me for lunch in the Executive Dining Room. All that hard work has finally paid off.??

Aquarius: *to his girl friend* Hey, buddy, sure! I??ll pick you up at midnight and we??ll go to the beach and share our pickled onions with the dolphins.

Pisces: Food is just energy. You can get the same thing from being loving and compassionate and yogic breathing. *inhales deeply*