How do you get Rid of a Toxic Friend—?

I have this friend who always takes from me n never give back...she leans on me 4advise,takes all my time over the phone.I am always there for her whenever she needs me,but she rarely does the same for me.should I just quietly Ignore her or confront her—

Thanks a lot..

Exactly..thanks a lot

OK.Thanks

I thought confronting her will make her feel I'm crazy or trying to make her feel guilty..I'll try that n see how it goes.

What??Lol u can't be serious

Sorry that wasn't for u Lol

What—?

Lol that's a big NO NO

You say this like you know her,the way she acts its so obvious she thinks she's doing me a favour.you sre so right toxic people don't realise how toxic they are.

Friends are not supposed to Use other friends,a Toxic friend is not really a friend the way I see it

Understand that you are worth having great friends that will lift you up rather than break you down and use your resources and that'll make it easier to say NO. Plus I'm sure she'll find someone else to be toxic towards.

kquote>Posted by Udylaw1

friend who always takes from me n never give back...she leans on me 4advise,takes all my time over the phone

The above describes needy. Not toxic.

Posted by Udylaw1

I told her to Fuck off literally.

click to expand

To refuse communication, to only tell someone to fuck off ... sounds toxic.

Posted by Udylaw1
I have this friend who always takes from me n never give back...she leans on me 4advise,takes all my time over the phone.I am always there for her whenever she needs me,but she rarely does the same for me.should I just quietly Ignore her or confront her—

Refer her to a therapist.

I had a friend that was draining me like that. Seems like every little move she made, she wanted my opinion on. It is exhausting. Then the tornado hit my neighborhood and she's still calling wanting help with some minor thing she had going on. I just told her flat out "I don't have time for this, I've got too much on my plate right now. I'm temporarily homeless, got contractors to deal with and my priority is getting my house repaired so I can live in it. I'm sorry, you're just going to have to call someone else". And instead of offering support, she just said "Ok, sorry I bothered you. Hope it all works out". WTH?!

We're still friendly, but she doesn't call me anymore with her tiny little issues. And I know first hand she's not there for me. So I'm fine with letting this so-called friendship drift away.

@OP- Well it's just like when your meeting or dating a guy that's like that and there are, just reverse opposite sex and drop her.....friends come and go so much.

But yeah just like any friendship communication, understanding, and honesty goes along way...

@OP-Hmm why is this in astrology, what's her sign and what's your sun sign, mercury and mars? And how did you meet in the first place?

One thing I've noticed with the shittiest friends is, they always think they're doing YOU a favor.

come across anyone like that, cross them right out

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Udylaw1

friend who always takes from me n never give back...she leans on me 4advise,takes all my time over the phone

The above describes needy. Not toxic.

Posted by Udylaw1

I told her to Fuck off literally.

To refuse communication, to only tell someone to fuck off ... sounds toxic.

click to expand

I agree.

1. the friend is needy
(and draining cause she sees no resistance)

2. OP is toxic cause she jumps to the extrem "fck off" instead of doing some exercise in saying NO. simply or politely no. ok better simply.

Posted by starlover
There are ways to confront without being aggressive....i find it works very well and have had people apologizing to me

Teach us, Sensei.

Usually by the time I realized I had a toxic friend, I was disgusted enough to not want anything to do with them anymore. They were usually people who were magically never wrong.

I've cut two or three girls off and just never looked back. No returned phone calls, nothing.

OMG I ghosted. lol

Well, you put enough weight on a tree branch and it will snap.

Some of you that call her Needy'what's the difference?we've been friends for over ten years n she always needs me to be there for her n she can't do the same for me?I think I was too patient ....all other friends say same about her so excuse me if u think I'm toxic for this,I agree n I don't regret it.Rest of U who understand me better,thanks a lot.XoXo

By the way I am a scorpio and she's a Leo.Leo's are nice n warm people but she doesn't act like one.

Thanks people ...some of u really understand this.

People are aware of what they do 80% of the time,they just act like they don't know n never admit it when confronted.

Posted by Udylaw1
People are aware of what they do 80% of the time,they just act like they don't know n never admit it when confronted.

Yep.......

toxic in my book: I feel bad with them. I do the wrong things because of their influence. I sleep bad. I don't work focused.

taking and not giving back is bad habbit. they do it cause I did not ask for or forced that they help me in return. so they are unfair and got used to it. but I was part of the process.

I may find somebody boring or not inspiring anymore. yet I would not accuse them of being toxic.

Posted by Udylaw1
People are aware of what they do 80% of the time,they just act like they don't know n never admit it when confronted.

You invented this rule.

The more accepted rule is that people assumes others think like them. Like you are aware of what you do and you think the Leo girl is aware of what she does. Well, she may be aware of how often she comes to you. But she cannot be aware of how annoyings this is to you. She is a social sign and thinks it is normal to get in touch that often. Or talk that often. That does not imply that she finds it is normal to annoy somebody else. Cause she does not know that she annoys. How can she know if you smile and are kind each time?

Head is coupled with and right the other side of the tail. But it is not the same.

"Toxic also comes in if the leo is constantly putting themselves in the same situations and expects the scorpio to be there for them."

this is not toxic in my book.
grown-ups have choices. Leo choses according to her patterns. I can tell her, "do you know what? we've been there a few times. not inspiring and interesting for me anymore". according to my patterns.

If I cannot tell my friends they fall always in the same trap, there's a lesson in it for me.

Recently an Aqua-Cap gf of ours told my sister something like that. "why do you have always problems with xyz". That was a wake-up call for my sister. As a gf of more than 17 years she did a good job.

"i dont need help, i offer it" kind of vibe.

we train the people around us. they get used to it.
same story with housewives who never ask for husband's help.

I agree that there are unfair gfs. Like those who disappear with a new love interest. These stories are sad and hard to handle.

Awwwwwwww,thanks a lot sweetie.I love your honesty,n d fact that u are listening.Lol

Ok I hear U...but is still think this particular girl knows what she's been doing.thanks though

Yes u r right,but this girl wants me to listen when she's Venting n she interrupts me with her own issues when its my turn.she wants to borrow money,I have to give her but she will come up with excuses n not even call me back when I need money,she'll literally avoid me for days.then she'll call later and ask how I sorted the problem.I mean common ...what sort of friend is that?

Wow!this is exactly the issue I'm having with this Leo girl,u have said it all.Thanks,yes she's Self centered/self absorbed n she couldn't care less about my own problems but always talks about hers.N I'm a very good listener.The problem with me is exactly what u said,I don't speak up until I'm ready to hit the door.

Ok !let's get to the exercise.NO NO NO NO NO NO NO..Lol

Imagine that! A tornado hits your neighbourhood n she still called you for help with some minor things—? What a friend!she was never a friend

That's your Opinion and its allowed,but never criticise anyone till you walk a mile in their shoes.

Good luck. Be kind with others and yourself but always be honest. Tell her how u feel even if its awkward and learn to say no. Afterall if she trips then leave for good.

Posted by Udylaw1
That's your Opinion and its allowed,but never criticise anyone till you walk a mile in their shoes.

You mean like how you are criticizing her, when you've never walked a foot in her shoes, much less a mile?

Posted by Udylaw1
People are aware of what they do 80% of the time,they just act like they don't know n never admit it when confronted.

For example: you act like you're not passive aggressive, when in reality, you do know.

Or else, you're not in the 80% who is aware of herself and just being ignorant.

What are U talking about?u don't have to comment on everything especially when I wasn't talking to U

LOL what in the world are u talking about?

She comes around only when she needs something,Only when she needs something.If I need something from her I don't get it.She's not the call or drop by just to check on me.

Posted by Udylaw1
She comes around only when she needs something,Only when she needs something.If I need something from her I don't get it.She's not the call or drop by just to check on me.

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