Advice for a libra girl dealing with a cancer guy

Hey everyone, a libra girl and new here and just wanted some advice for dealing with a cancer guy I met a few months ago.
Basically weve been friends talking too each other since February but hed randomly drop comments in conversations that suggested that he wanted a relationship, for instance he would talk about meeting my mum, talk about me being his girl but would never just come out and say it but drop a comment here or there , so I felt he was testing the waters.

I like the guy, hes sweet and funny and I was interested in pursuing a relationship with him. From just being around him I figured he was shy with girls, so around a a month and a half ago, I spoke to him and told him I liked him and basically wanted to go out with him. He told me in a round about way that it would be best if we were friends and that he wasnt ready for a relationship, made up some bull about just coming out of a relationship, lol at tryna lie to a libra woman. He suggested that I dont ring him enough, which was a fair point. I was a bit upset at first however, Im quick to get the message and it did make better sense for us to be friends.
Since that point Ive made a conscious effort to ring and text him more and when I do, we have alot to talk about and I try to keep the conversation friend zone-like but he asks me how many guys hit on me today, questions like that, which I think strange.

In one conversation around 3 weeks ago, I was telling him that I was going to a party, he mentioned that he has no friends, hes said this before so I invited him to the party I was going to he said it was cool but I felt bad and thought Id try and bring him into my friendship group.
So, around 2 weeks ago me and one of my girlfriend went over to his house, We had a nice, relaxed evening and he was a gentleman and dropped us both home. However after I said my thanks for the ride and was about to leave the car, out of the blue he leant over, so I kissed him on both cheeks as a thanks but for some reason, unknown to me he got angry and said you always ruin everything, lol. After thinking about it and getting some advice from my guy housemate and friend, I felt bad, incase he was embarassed. I text him the next day to ask how he was/reassure him but no reply, I rang later, no reply. Ever since then he's been very funny cold with me, so I got the hint and havent contacted him, I value his friendship but Im not forcing anything. Can anyone possible explain his behaviour and a course of

action, sorry for the veryyyy long message.

He sounds quite young and immature. If you like being his friend, you could just let it go and let him try something when he feels like it, but it's not looking like he's there yet. If you like him enough or if he's hot, take control and abuse that bad boy.

And forget about your friendship group, go see a movie at his place, and if he's not too crabby, kiss him and see what happens. Gestures are better than anything else.

Posted by mr.crabby
He sounds quite young and immature. If you like being his friend, you could just let it go and let him try something when he feels like it, but it's not looking like he's there yet. If you like him enough or if he's hot, take control and abuse that bad boy.

And forget about your friendship group, go see a movie at his place, and if he's not too crabby, kiss him and see what happens. Gestures are better than anything else.

Thanks alot for the response mr crabby, ironically he's actually in Canada on holiday now, for a Uni trip, lol.
He's 22 and I noted a while ago that he was a bit immature and probably inexperienced relationship wise, I havent really asked him about past relationships so this is just an assumption.
Lol, I do find him attractive and like him as a person but Im not sure if I wanna go there in a romantic sense again but as you probably know, Libras dont rule anything out when it comes to matters of the heart.
At the moment, Im just gonna let him have some proper space, Im not gonna initiate contact, if he wants to talk he can talk, if not its cool.

Well I'm 28 and I consider myself immature. The thing I didn't like about "my" Libra was that she cared more about feeling wanted than about who I am. She felt detached, like if I didn't matter that much. Now I know that it probably wasn't so, but it created problems similar to what you're dealing with. It's the biggest hurdle between crabbies and libbies, otherwise we're both caring in our own way and get along quite well.

Shove him, ask him about his feelings and don't be afraid to do too much, if he likes you, he'll be happy about it. There's the chick ego thing if you get rejected, but you can always talk about it with your friends after, it would be a lot worse for him to be rejected, believe me.

he got angry? yeah, he's probably not feeling u as much as u'd think. even an immature cancer won't get angry over a kiss on the cheek. i've had 2 cancer admirers and, even if they did their side-stepping dance, they liked any form of touching and affection from me. hell, they practically wanted me to drape myself all over them.

one thing i do know is that they wanna get to know u better and feel comfortable with u. they much prefer to be friends first. after they feel secure with u they will make the move.

i would laugh about his reactions too but it would also tell me not to waste my time with him. don't overanalyze. just take it as him being a dork, laugh, and keep on rolling.

^ well i took him leaning over as him leaning over to kiss her, and he was mad at her for ruining it by kissing his cheeks and ruining what could've been a romantic moment. or maybe i misread it.


i've been dealing with a cancer i like very much. he's a couple years younger than me and very sweet and physically affectionate when we see each other, but then i don't hear from him. and it's like, really? do you realize that disappearing totally negates all the sweet things you say? ugh.

i know i should just tell him to go fuck himself, but i don't have the nerve. i'm afraid i'm just misunderstanding him. but who cares if it's a misunderstanding if it's making me miserable? there'd just be more misunderstandings in the future anyhow.

Posted by curious visitor
^ then i don't hear from him. and it's like, really? do you realize that disappearing totally negates all the sweet things you say? ugh.

i know i should just tell him to go fuck himself, but i don't have the nerve. i'm afraid i'm just misunderstanding him. but who cares if it's a misunderstanding if it's making me miserable? there'd just be more misunderstandings in the future anyhow.

That's interesting. Someone you're supposed to care about "disappears" and you get angry? How about getting on the phone or getting a hold of him or getting in his face? It's nice to care and provide, but when the other one takes and doesn't care about it, it's just depressing.

Being taken for granted, that's what crabbies are for.

Posted by mr.crabby
Well I'm 28 and I consider myself immature. The thing I didn't like about "my" Libra was that she cared more about feeling wanted than about who I am. She felt detached, like if I didn't matter that much. Now I know that it probably wasn't so, but it created problems similar to what you're dealing with. It's the biggest hurdle between crabbies and libbies, otherwise we're both caring in our own way and get along quite well.

Shove him, ask him about his feelings and don't be afraid to do too much, if he likes you, he'll be happy about it. There's the chick ego thing if you get rejected, but you can always talk about it with your friends after, it would be a lot worse for him to be rejected, believe me.

Hey, mr crabby, yeah I can probably come across quite ambivelantly but its not deliberate, I usually have 100 things on my mind and on my plate. Im a really busy person at the minute, with my dissertation for Uni, family, friends partying, lol but I do feel I have tried to be understanding of his temperament but maybe its not coming across like that, though I have cooked for him twice, he told me he loved the way that I cooked chicken the last time I saw him, lol and he asked me to cook some for him, I agreed and he sounded so suprised which was wierd I thought.

Yeah I agree about the chick ego but Im personally not too afraid of rejection, I am however
very wary of suffocating people or making them feel uncomfortable, so thats why I dont like to do toooo much unless I know that the person is comfortable with it.
Thanks alot for your advice, it has been extremely helpful, when he gets back from Canada
I may just throw myself at him and see what happens.

Posted by ninjamu
he got angry? yeah, he's probably not feeling u as much as u'd think. even an immature cancer won't get angry over a kiss on the cheek. i've had 2 cancer admirers and, even if they did their side-stepping dance, they liked any form of touching and affection from me. hell, they practically wanted me to drape myself all over them.

one thing i do know is that they wanna get to know u better and feel comfortable with u. they much prefer to be friends first. after they feel secure with u they will make the move.

i would laugh about his reactions too but it would also tell me not to waste my time with him. don't overanalyze. just take it as him being a dork, laugh, and keep on rolling.

Sorry, I probably didnt articulate myself properly but I meant that he leant over to kiss me and then he got upset when I kissed him on the cheek.

Posted by curious visitor
^ well i took him leaning over as him leaning over to kiss her, and he was mad at her for ruining it by kissing his cheeks and ruining what could've been a romantic moment. or maybe i misread it.


i've been dealing with a cancer i like very much. he's a couple years younger than me and very sweet and physically affectionate when we see each other, but then i don't hear from him. and it's like, really? do you realize that disappearing totally negates all the sweet things you say? ugh.

i know i should just tell him to go fuck himself, but i don't have the nerve. i'm afraid i'm just misunderstanding him. but who cares if it's a misunderstanding if it's making me miserable? there'd just be more misunderstandings in the future anyhow.

Yeah that is what I meant but I wasnt really expecting a romantic moment, considering that I thought wed decided to be friends. In my head a friend is a friend and a partner is a partner, there's really no inbetween, so thats why when he leant over I was anticipating a kiss on the cheek/kissing him on the cheek but evidently not, lol.

I text him around a week and a half ago and told him that I thought there's been some miscommunication somewhere and that we should talk, I also asked him why he had been ignoring me, he said he hadnt been ignoring me after he
text two days after my text, lol and said that he had been busy, as he was going to Canada that week, something that he hadnt told me about and I has seen him a few days before that,lol.
Thats why I had decided to just leave him be and let him figure himself out, though I did text him the day he said he was leaving wished him a nice holiday and told him to bring me back some snow, oh and he didnt reply.

He seems quite difficult. Try something if you really like him, but don't feel too bad if it??doesn't work out, it's possible that he's just do there yet. Let us know how it goes.

Posted by mr.crabby
He seems quite difficult. Try something if you really like him, but don't feel too bad if it??doesn't work out, it's possible that he's just do there yet. Let us know how it goes.

Yeah, I'll let him be for now, there's been no contact for a week now but the balls in his court to contact me. I'll definitely let you know how it goes and again thanks alot for the advice.

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by curious visitor
^ then i don't hear from him. and it's like, really? do you realize that disappearing totally negates all the sweet things you say? ugh.

i know i should just tell him to go fuck himself, but i don't have the nerve. i'm afraid i'm just misunderstanding him. but who cares if it's a misunderstanding if it's making me miserable? there'd just be more misunderstandings in the future anyhow.

That's interesting. Someone you're supposed to care about "disappears" and you get angry? How about getting on the phone or getting a hold of him or getting in his face? It's nice to care and provide, but when the other one takes and doesn't care about it, it's just depressing.

Being taken for granted, that's what crabbies are for.

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i don't get angry. i get hurt, and i want to know wtf is going on. for the record, this isn't the first time this has happened with this guy. it happened a couple years ago. he showed back up late last year and apologized. and i took forever til i was actually willing to hang out with him again.

my moon is leo and my venus is scorpio. i'm an intense person. when i fall, i fall. it sucks, but it's just how i am. and he came on really strong. he said a lot of really sweet things. he was amazingly affectionate. and now he's just disappeared. and i don't think that's fair.

if he doesn't like me, he doesn't like me. if he's a liar, he's a liar. i can live with that. it sucks, but i can live with it. i just hate how he isn't saying anything to me.

i've texted. he hasn't replied. i can call...he probably won't answer. i can email, he probably won't answer. hell, he might just delete what i've send him when i send it for all i know. i could show up at his house, and i'll be a crazy person.

if he weren't so nice to be around, i'd've written him off already. but i'm going through some stuff, and i'm lonely, and i could really use the company. so it's hard to write him off. and if i do, it'll be forever, which is why i want to hear from him so i know it's the right thing to do.

he took and now he's taking me for granted. so whatever. every crab i've ever known, i've been the martyr. i've been the one who's cared for them and been taken advantage of. i should go back to avoiding them. they're clearly heartless.

Hey everyone, just a brief update. Basically, he called out of the blue around 5, yesterday evening, saying he had got back from Canada that morning, I asked him about his trip, the normal small talk blah blah and he said wanted to see me and asked me if I wanted to come around, I said I was busy with my dissertation but he could come around my house if he liked, he agreed. I will say at this point that we havent had sex, so Im definitely no booty call.
Five minutes after the phone conversation he text me asking my address again for later and I gave it to him and said see you then. Fast forward to around 10.30pm and he still hasnt come but he rings me, I missed the call as I was out of the room, so I rang back a few minutes later and no reply, lol.
If I didnt think so before Im pretty certain now that he's playing games with me and probably rang yesterday just to test the waters and see if we were cool because he left last week virtually ignoring me.
Ive definitely decided that Im done with him and will definitely not initiate contact with him again, if he contacts me Ill be courteous but Ive really just run out of patience and am just bored with his beahviour as I really do believe he's playing games, any other perspectives are welcome though. 🙂
Oh and the times are probably out of wack to most of you guys cause Im in the UK and its now 11.50am.

Posted by curious visitor

if he doesn't like me, he doesn't like me. if he's a liar, he's a liar. i can live with that. it sucks, but i can live with it. i just hate how he isn't saying anything to me.

i've texted. he hasn't replied. i can call...he probably won't answer. i can email, he probably won't answer. hell, he might just delete what i've send him when i send it for all i know. i could show up at his house, and i'll be a crazy person.
.

I'd say that this is the worst for me, as well. Not understanding.

Posted by librasrightscale
Hey everyone, just a brief update. Basically, he called out of the blue around 5, yesterday evening, saying he had got back from Canada that morning, I asked him about his trip, the normal small talk blah blah and he said wanted to see me and asked me if I wanted to come around, I said I was busy with my dissertation but he could come around my house if he liked, he agreed. I will say at this point that we havent had sex, so Im definitely no booty call.
Five minutes after the phone conversation he text me asking my address again for later and I gave it to him and said see you then. Fast forward to around 10.30pm and he still hasnt come but he rings me, I missed the call as I was out of the room, so I rang back a few minutes later and no reply, lol.
If I didnt think so before Im pretty certain now that he's playing games with me and probably rang yesterday just to test the waters and see if we were cool because he left last week virtually ignoring me.
Ive definitely decided that Im done with him and will definitely not initiate contact with him again, if he contacts me Ill be courteous but Ive really just run out of patience and am just bored with his beahviour as I really do believe he's playing games, any other perspectives are welcome though. 🙂
Oh and the times are probably out of wack to most of you guys cause Im in the UK and its now 11.50am.

I can't blame you.

God... Cancers are so WEIRD! I annoy myself sometimes... but it's hard to change your nature. Potentially romantic relationships are the worst because this is where a cancers insecurities can really take hold.

I disappear, but I poke my head out and respond to inquiries on my well-being. Especially to people who don't know me that well. People close to me understand and know my shit... because when I'm good, it's all good... and I try to spread the good around to make up for 'pain-in-the-ass' me.

He maybe just poking his head out, but isn't ready for a face-to-face yet. I know it's frustrating but as you said... it's good when you two DO hang out.

Cancers take ALOT of patience. If you're done, you're done... but if you have a little left in you... I hope this helps.