After returning from a brief absence...

He called me a few times - the caller id indicated as such. 🙂
Finally, I was home to receive his call and he sat on the other end - silent!!!

I cannot shake this one, but he has incredible difficulty connecting w me.

Thoughts?

Wineaux:

It has been about one month or so.

Typical for him to do the back and forth - I am not worried!!!

Read my other posts. 🙂

Dear, if you are interested, don't give up on him!!!
I am entering my third month with my Crab..it is after this time that I see some opening up.
They are cautious and slow. They need reassurance all the time.
But the effort is worth it..it is as if you have to go trhough a series of tests to finally get the PRIZE: him.
Just evaluate the situation and see if the guy is worth it, and if your intuition tells you he is, show him you care.
Hint it, state it. Act!
and tell us what happened!
all the best

Pisces:

Thank you for your kind words.

This Crab is delicious, certainly worth saving myself for, but the tests are bordering on ridiculous!!! I tend to go cold on him, every now and again...

Let us know what happens w you also.

Girls, my update...
Its been three months with him and there has been ups and downs, specially for his jealousy. I have found out that the only way to stop that is by constant reassurance and introducing him to people, showing him affection in public and making sure I make clear I am with him. I still haven't changed my facebook status, he hasnever asked me to, but I will , because Im sure he will feel better if I do.
Im ok with all this and I sense that since I stopped my "strategies" (for example, playing a bit hard to get, bla bla) he has become more responsive.
But, on the other hand, it does tire me to take initiatives myself all the time. It is not as if HE will change his facebook status first. He alwyas waits for me to do things, and then he mirrors me most of the times.
If I text him three times , he will respond two.
If I tell him I love him 3 times, he will write I love you too, two times.

It is me the one who has to give more.
Many cancer friends have told me that this is at first, until they aer SURE of the love of the other person, once that stage is reached, they become more demonstrative and clingy. I don't want a clingy person and in fact I love our independence in the relationship. But I wish he was more demonstrative. He is starting to be, but little by little, I need to be patient and I am being.

I believe the only way to hisheart is love. Sincere love, and to be honest this is what I feel for him, I just feel I love him dearly and want to see him loved. He told me he has hardened a lot in the last years, and has built a wall around his heart. My intention is to break down that wall, I will try, and see what happens.
Of course Im not the type of woman who would lose herself for a man, I maintain my independence, my friends, my life, and I know he loves that. But this is my "experiment" haha ; I feel I my efforts will be worth it..
I hope they will...
any suggestions on how to win his heart..?
A woman always has good suggestions for that...
hugs, girls!

@ Pisces....I am a Cancer that just decided to throw myself in the dating pool because my Scorpio friend told me I don't have a boyfriend because I am not opening up to anyone. I didn't realize how hard that was for me until I went on a date and I felt like a complete wet blanket. It was unfamiliar territory. Now I know why talking to guys far away is easier because when they live close by they have expectations and I need to deliver or they get disinterested.

But to your question: What has really helped me opening up is, not being pushed to be physical and the reassurance that I am liked, for my brains and work, rather than my body or who I know, even though I might not return the sentiment. There is this Cap/Aqua cusp guy that I been sort of talking to and he is good looking, a musician and he's been actively pursuing me but I never gave him the time a day till my friend told me to open up a bit. So I did. And its been cool, like he bought me earrings and just other small stuff that really resonate with me. I have been on trips all over the world with my ex and he bought me gifts all the time but these earrings really stuck out to me.

I'm still trying to cope with his personality (I think its me though and not him) but I didn't know I became so callous, shrewd, and pessimistic about dating. There was a point in my life that I was never single from 1 boyfriend to the next and now its been 2yrs since I been with a guy.

So, it's hard for HIM. Like internally it feels so hard to open up. Its a FEELING and I think if you relax and go by his pace, one day you will be amazed at how receptive he is. :-)

Sophs your words mean a lot to me. As a Pisces, I am naturally open when it comes to expressing feelings, so it is hard for me to understand how a person can FEEL something but not EXPRESS it.
I cant imagine it being hard, so it helps to see it from your perspective.
I am aware that he wants to be liked for his brains and personality, basically, accepted for what he is. and it is true he doesnt return the sentiment maybe verbally but I feel he is there, and in his way he is showing he cares.
He has slowly changed his responses, in the past it was
Me : for me you are more and more interesting each passing day...
him: do you think so? Look at that..

now his response is: thanks , I feel the same way about you.

They are all baby steps, but solid steps I believe.
Callous, shrewd and pessimistic about dating...he feels the same way I guess. It is until you get to know a person who will take the time to love you for what you are dear, give yourself a chance to be loved and love will just grow inside you. Maybe that is the problem for you crabs, you need to know there is water in the swimming pool before you jump into it, but sometimes, you have to HELP fill in the swimming pool! dont expect the other to do it for you.
I just pursue this relationship because my intuition tells me HE IS THE ONE for me, but not all signs are intuitive and will just leave the fight when they dont see immediate results..

Open us and dont be afraid..of cousre, easier said than done but it is really the only way...

Pisces:

I have never been the kind of girl who will offer up her heart to a man, before he makes advances. 🙂

What would happen if you let him lead entirely and then were receptive?

Hi there Wishbear..well, I dont know, I am doing at this moment what feels to be right. I have a motto which is , DO WHAT YOU LIKE , AND LIKE WHAT YOU DO, and Im really enjoying myself when I do stuff for him.
Meanwhile I just watch what happens.
I just feel potential here and I want to give it time to grow, and I am watering the seeds and watching the plant grow slowly, maybe it is not at my pace, but at his pace..I will see what happens.

I have always wondered, or, marveled at how some people are able to give of themselves, with reckless abandon. 🙂

You sound like a dreamer. Xo.

I can tell from your pictures, how open your heart is to love and life.

Is the Crab you speak of in your profile pix?

Oh yes I do take risks when it comes to love and life,always been like that.
It is easier not to, to avoid being hurt, but what the heck, I have always done what has felt I had to and I havent been hurt that much..I trust instict a lot. But I never stay in a situatin when I see there is nothing to be done, I dont like "lost causes". I am a bit of a dreamer, yes, and yes indeed that guy is the crab we talk about.
I dont believe I give myself with "reckeless abandon", you would be surprised at how cold and ungiving I can be with those who dont deserve it...it is not as if I go abotu in life giving and smiling...not at all, hahaha!!!
I offer a chance but if that chance is not used, I dont give second chances...
I am a dreamer but not a fool 🙂

Well, for what it is worth, the body language between the Crab and the Pisces indicates you are in sync. He appears to be leaning towards you, although you are the one somewhat pulling him in w your hand. 🙂

He is cute and you are beautiful.

On risk, my Crab has told me many times, that life devoid of risk, especially in love, is not life at all. We were discussing marriage, a topic which he volunteered to speak about.

I have not heard from mine. 😢 Either he knew what he was doing and is testing me, or, in the alternative, perhaps his phone randomly dialed my number.

He has done this type of thing once before, but when the call came, he at least spoke.

Your crab has told you some nice words of wisdom
I dont think the calls have been randomly dialled, you know they were not!!!

Maybe it is time to put into practise what he says about risk! maybe you can help him with that, it is terribly DIFFICULT for them I guess.

Nice observation on body language! I have never thought of that.

Today at 12am the crab came to receive his birthday gifts and it was nice to be the first (well , actually the second, his mum got to him first and then he came home, hahahaha, will it always be like this??)

I will tell you more details later but at one point he was trying to open up and tell me some feelings he had, and believe me that it was difficult for him PHYSICALLY, it was as if the words couldnt come out...I remembered what Sophs said being HARD, I just couldnt believe it that it is soo hard.

You know what they say about a man who loves his mother... 🙂

Still nothing from mine. I guess it was a mistake, but, I find a little comfort in the fact that I must be at the top of his short list. —

In the meantime, in between time, I am dealing w a psycho Virgo - what fun!!!

Posted by Wishbear
You know what they say about a man who loves his mother... 🙂

More likely to obey another bitch?

I've always wanted to know, fo realz!!

Wishbear....mmmm you are having fun with a Virgo! good for you...!! you moved on pretty quick...I sense this is not the end of the story though.....just a gut feeling!!

Crabbie, a man who loves his mum is supposed to treat other women very well...and I believe it to be true...she was his first love so set an example...
anyway I hope to get lucky if I ever meet my mothehr in law! hope she likes me! hey, I can cook! I will feed him well 🙂

No - I have not moved on, just moved over. 😢

My heart is hung up and it feels awful.

I miss his kiss most of all!!!!

My heart races when I think about him and I hate this.

Mr. Crabby:

Mothers and fathers set the tone, for better or worse. 🙂

Wishbear, how are you feeling—?
Any news—
The crab, the virgal??
Hope you are well dear.
hugs 🙂

Wishbear, Just wanted to give you some support, gurl been there done that with the Cancer Guy and I share your hurt. I'm tired of reading the many stories that tell me Capricorns and Cancers go good together because obviously we DON'T because Cancer men disappear! Sighss....

Pisces:

No news from Mr. Crab... 😢

The Virgo is absolutely crazy!!!

New Scorpio boy says he does not want to share me w anyone... We kissed the other night!!!

Have you cooked for your Crab yet?

Wineaux:

Thanxxs for the reply. 🙂

I told him ONCE, only because he asked, how it feels w little communication. In response to his line of questioning, it is as though he forgot about me. He whined, as per the usual, and said he feels the same way with respect to me all the time - because I never call/ask to see him.

We saw one another just about a month ago.

The agreed upon fire/passion is ridiculous!!!

Noire:

A secure man does not run.

Do you concur?

Xo.

Posted by Wishbear
Noire:

A secure man does not run.

Do you concur?

Xo.

Agreed Wholeheartedly! But Cancers, uhh are they included in this group? Lol

WISHBEAR!
Well it seems your are experimenting with other signs and wow! Scorp! their possessive love is appealing to me...
As for the crab well I agree with you, that a self confident man wouldnt do this over and over.
This could take years until he decides what he wants, and those years are your LIFE, which should be used to be HAPPY as you can be.
You are more important than him , and you should be happy and loved.

As regards my cooking skills, yes, I have impressed the crab haha!!! As it is winter here, Ive prepared some heavy stews which are typical "mother" food. they take some skill to make and I believe my stews were better than his mum's haha!!!
I cooked a cake for his birhtday too and I occasionally prepare a tupperware for him to take to his work to have lunch.
He is a very cared for and well fed crab haha! And to prevent him getting fat I force him to go to the gym! (haha not really, we both go to the gym together iin fact we met there)


Keep us posted about the Scorp 🙂
Sending you hugs!

Pisces:

Mr. Crab is gone for now, and I am by no means waiting around, but his hold has always been strong. 😢

Mr. Scorpio is wanting all my time, and I cannot have that!!!

Mr. Virgo seems to have won out, even though his up and down ways scare me. 🙂

Have you ever tried making stew w yellow turnips and/or parsnips? I like to peel and then dice. 🙂

What do you use to thicken stew? Potato? Oatmeal? A roux?

What kind of cakes does your Crab like best?

hey WISHBEAR!!!
So the Scorp is wanting all your time!!! are you giving it to him—— 🙂

I use potato and crushed beans and lentils to thicken the stews. Turnips yes, I do use them too. I also use oatmeal. I love these thick stews in winter with some good homemade bread .
The crab eats ANYTHING really. Cakes, he loves spongy ones, with cream. Not so fond of chocolate though.
He loves cream! Lately, he has been studying for college (he is studying to become a psychologist) and Ive been whipping cream for his coffee. he loves to be given his tupper with cream. Even his mom ends up using my cream in her coffee!
I havent met her yet...but I know she knows of me. anyway Im not interested in family introductions, it is too soon.
Hope you are well, drop me a line sometime!
hugs