Best way(s) to communicate with a Crab?

As a Cancer, what is the best way to get through to you on a matter?

I'm having a bit of trouble making my Cancer man (Libra moon) understand me when I'm upset. He is so adamant about avoiding an argument that often he will 1) Try to run away, or 2) be completely dismissive of my feelings, and will tell me that the fact that I'm upset is silly. I'll specifically say that he hurt my feelings, and he will apologize for doing so, but not in a totally sincere way, because he still thinks that I shouldn't be upset in the first place. It's not about me being right and him being wrong or anything like that, I just need him to understand that some of his actions hurt me so that we can avoid these situations in the future. If he indicated that something I did hurt him, I would 100% try hard to avoid doing the same thing in the future.

As a Crab, if you were in an argument with a close friend, or a lover, in what ideal way would the situation be handled? Ideal meaning, both parties feel that the issue was resolved in the end.

imo, it has nothing to do with sun signs...it has to do with the compatibility of your moons, venuses, mercury.

libra moon is very indecissive and avoids confruntation...anyway...a crab sun with a libra moon...not the brightest combination for the balance of a person, me thinks...

Posted by mz
imo, it has nothing to do with sun signs...it has to do with the compatibility of your moons, venuses, mercury.

libra moon is very indecissive and avoids confruntation...anyway...a crab sun with a libra moon...not the brightest combination for the balance of a person, me thinks...

You are totally right, but I thought it would be easier to get the opinion and insight of other Cancers about how they deal with these things, instead of asking everyone what a person they don't know is thinking 🙂

He is Cancer Sun, Libra Moon, Cancer Venus and Leo Mercury.

I am Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Sagittarius Venus and Sagittarius Mercury.

He is extremely indecisive, and his moods..god, THE MOODS. And like you said, he avoids confrontation.

I am a very straightforward person.

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by mz
imo, it has nothing to do with sun signs...it has to do with the compatibility of your moons, venuses, mercury.

libra moon is very indecissive and avoids confruntation...anyway...a crab sun with a libra moon...not the brightest combination for the balance of a person, me thinks...

I dealt with a cancer sun cancer moon and he was the same way. Hated any discussion of anything that could bring up ill feelings or a potential argument. He was totally dismissive of my feelings and the last time we talked he hung up on me because we didn't agree on something.

Good luck OP.

click to expand

Ugh. I hate that. I don't want to say that the lack of an open mind towards someone else's feelings is selfish...but I have no other way to describe it.

As a Crab, if you were in an argument with a close friend, or a lover, in what ideal way would the situation be handled? Ideal meaning, both parties feel that the issue was resolved in the end.
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Ideally, we could carefully and gently discuss any misunderstandings so that both parties are understood, and then work on a solution so it doesn't become something that keeps happening over and over.

As far as him not talking about his feelings, and seems to be avoiding confrontation, I think that's a MAN thing. I've seen men from many different signs do this. Men aren't comfortable with feelings or with expressing them, most of the time.

When they are at fault they would avoid confrontarion at all costs. Unless you're in the infatuation stage, he will be more attentive to u and ur feelings. Once he's comfortable in the relationship you will see his true colours. My ex bf and bro are both cancerians. They do care about their feelings more than urs. Want communication, admit ur faults and they will be all charming. But what if u did not do anything wrong? Yeah lie to him and say u were wrong and he'd be all sweet forgiving u lol. Too bad I'm a taurus girl and I don't take bullshit.
check my story if u like to n maybe u get what i mean
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/cancer/cancer-ex-boyfriend-texting-me-5030552/

If you want him to open up and discuss feelings with you, appeal to his sense of feeling good. A distress cancer who clamped up usually can be lured out with food. Homemade is preferable. Every time I cook for hubby, he knows that that is my silent way of saying "we need to talk". Esp if I serve liquor with his food. Instead of scuttling away, he'd relax, open up and we talk over burger and beer or chicken masalla dinner with some light wine. Also have to hint that I have his fav dessert baking in the oven. You will be amaze on how many cookies have helped us to stay married. And being a virgo, only healthy food is served.

Married to cancer sun cancer moon aqua rising guy for 4 yrs now.

Good luck!

Posted by VirgoDragirl
If you want him to open up and discuss feelings with you, appeal to his sense of feeling good. A distress cancer who clamped up usually can be lured out with food. Homemade is preferable. Every time I cook for hubby, he knows that that is my silent way of saying "we need to talk". Esp if I serve liquor with his food. Instead of scuttling away, he'd relax, open up and we talk over burger and beer or chicken masalla dinner with some light wine. Also have to hint that I have his fav dessert baking in the oven. You will be amaze on how many cookies have helped us to stay married. And being a virgo, only healthy food is served.

Married to cancer sun cancer moon aqua rising guy for 4 yrs now.

Good luck!

that's nice! and surprising cause I read that cancer and virgo are not that compatible in the world of horoscopes lol. What's your moon, venus and mercury and his?

I would have to add Pisces knows quite well how to handle Cancers. Virgo and Pisces seem to be the most common pairings I have found for Cancer. It takes me a little time but I can eventually tell their moods, why they're in that mood and then if they need help to remedy or if they just need to be left alone. I would have to agree with the Virgo about food and alcohol. If they're not relaxed they will avoid serious conversation. I always seemed to get my Cancer friends to really open up if they were relaxed at their home sharing a meal and some wine or beer or at one of their favourite restaurants.... with some good food and alcohol.

The best way to communicate with a cancer is to get them to put their guards down while also putting yours down. If you want them to open up, you open up to them (gradually). If the need for communication is urgent, just be transparent and say what it is you want to say, be direct. Do express why it's important that your message be understood by the cancer. Do not attempt to have a real conversation with a cancer when you have been severely disrespectful and unapologetic, there is some sideline issues that need resolving first, you shutdown the cancer when he tried to talk with you about the same matter previously, you have some alterior motive for initiating the conversation, come off too forceful or controlling and do not initiate conversations that are too exposing or probing (establish comfort first).

MoonMan, I loved your thorough explanation. Part of the reason I love this site so much is how much I learn about astrology when I ask questions. But to answer your questions...firstly, yes, I do believe that we connect emotionally and physically. I honestly think were a really great paring. It's just *easy* to be together, it's as simple as that. But I feel like he dismisses my feelings because when we got in this particular argument, I was visibly upset. We had made plans to be together Saturday evening, but nothing concrete about what we were doing. While I was at work, he just made plans with his friends. He asked me to come along, but followed that with a "well if you're gonna be quiet, I'll just see you later tonight" once I got silent because I was upset he had disregarded our plans. Then he asked me what was wrong, I told him that when he makes plans with me I look forward to them and that I was upset he had broken them. Then he got agitated, told me to "calm my shit", and started packing his things saying that he wasn't coming back that night and he would see me another night. I was fighting back tears, but he continued to be super dismissive of the fact that I was upset by trying to leave.

But that whole time, I was being very calm and specifically indicating why I was upset. So he had no reason to get so agitated. This is why I'm asking the best way to get through to him, since the way I tried obviously didn't work lol. We're fine now, just an argument, but I want to avoid situations like this in the future of course.

But when I see him tomorrow and he is relaxed, I will try to address the problem again just to get some closure on the matter. Now that I think about it, it's much easier to get through to him when we've had time to settle down into our evening.

Posted by xMoonMan
Ok, Bells, from the initial point it sounds like you both had different expectations of what "plans to be together Saturday evening" meant, which might suggest lack of communication, either that or he completely ignored you, which is not good.

Did you want one on one time with him? If so, did you tell him that was your desire for that evening?
Also, can I assume he is around the same age as you?

Probably partially miscommunication. Also, he had asked his friends if I could come along, so I think he thought since he offered for me to come that it was okay to cancel our plans. As I think about it, I believe this was his thought process. I did want one on one time since we had been so on the go recently, but I didn't specifically tell him this when we made plans, we just agreed to see each other. But yes, he is a year older than me (I'm nearly 21, he just turned 22).

MoonMan, I just saw that you have a libra moon as well. That's interesting!

he he he virgo how cute ,so me n beyonce can get jiggy wit it ,jay z look out,lol. I was about to say foooooooooddd. beyonce can u cook? holllllaaaaa!!!!. I rather a taurus though, they more open.he he he and da sex is da bomb. So is cancer women and saggiiiiisssssss!!!!